In this episode of The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, Part 2, Dr. Tony Hynes (author of The Son with Two Moms and training specialist at the Center for Adoption Support and Education) goes deeper on what adoptive parents must understand about race, language, and true openness. We unpack the Multiethnic Placement Act (MEPA) and its real-world ripple effects, why “love is enough” and colorblind approaches fail kids, and practical ways white adoptive parents can prepare to raise Black children well.

Tony explains why the language we use (interracial vs. transracial) shapes outcomes, how faith communities can unintentionally reinforce colorblindness, and concrete steps to keep teens close—even when they roll their eyes. We close with what a truly healthy open adoption looks like beyond visits: ongoing, courageous conversations, shared history, and permission for your child to love all of their family.

Important Links

• RG Adoption Consulting → https://rgadoptionconsulting.com

• Book a 30-Minute Consult → https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact

• The Son with Two Moms by Tony Hynes

• Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.) → https://adoptionsupport.org

• Adoption Mosaic → https://adoptionmosaic.com/

• BIPOC Adoptees → https://www.bipocadoptees.org/

• Families Rising → https://wearefamiliesrising.org/

• On Your Feet Foundation (support for birth parents) → https://onyourfeetfoundation.org/

• The Adoption Continuum (Founding Member Waitlist) → https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/waitlist

Chapters

00:00 – 02:15 Sponsor: Introducing The Adoption Continuum
02:15 – 04:40 Recap of Part 1 + Tony’s return
04:41 – 07:00 The Multi-Ethnic Placement Act (MEPA) explained
07:03 – 09:24 Why there’s a shortage of Black families adopting Black children
09:25 – 11:47 Training gaps and bias in interracial adoption
11:48 – 14:10 Helping white parents prepare to raise children of color
14:11 – 16:31 Confronting racism inside extended families
16:32 – 19:00 “Transracial” vs. “Interracial” — Why language matters
19:01 – 21:25 Same-sex parents and child well-being research
21:26 – 23:47 Dr. Hynes’s PhD study on connectedness and community
23:48 – 26:08 Religion and colorblind messages in adoptive homes
26:09 – 28:33 Talking about race protects relationships long-term
28:34 – 30:55 Keeping teens close through repetition and modeling
30:56 – 33:19 Redefining openness beyond visits
33:20 – 35:42 How to normalize birth family conversations
35:43 – 37:23 Reunion, search, and the right to know one’s story
37:24 – 39:40 Top lessons for adoptive parents (+ grace and curiosity)
39:41 – 42:00 Rapid fire: Organizations and influences in adoption
42:00 – 43:25 Final insight — Adoptees can experience trauma after adoption
43:26 – End Rebecca’s closing reflection & review reminder

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

In this episode of The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, Rebecca Gruenspan—adoptive parent, consultant, and founder of RG Adoption Consulting—sits down with Dr. Tony Hynes, an adoptee, author, and educator whose story challenges nearly every stereotype about adoption.

Adopted by two white moms as a young Black boy in the 1990s, Tony’s early years were marked by both love and loss. When a court overturned his adoption—declaring that two white women couldn’t raise a Black child—his life became the center of a decade-long custody battle that would forever shape his identity.

Important Links

• RG Adoption Consulting → https://rgadoptionconsulting.com
• Book a 30-Minute Consult → https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact
• The Son with Two Moms by Tony Hynes
• Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.) → https://adoptionsupport.org
• Solace Gift Boxes → AdoptSolace.com

Chapters

00:00 — Sponsor: Solace Gift Boxes for birth mothers
01:00 — Meet Tony Hynes: adoptee, author, and advocate
02:10 — Growing up in the orphanage and early separations
05:30 — Understanding attachment, safety, and “home”
07:40 — Mental health, disclosure, and what parents should know
12:00 — When love meets bias: the adoption overturned
16:00 — “They’re going to take Tony”: the moment everything changed
18:50 — Living as an adoptee—but not legally adopted
20:00 — Navigating loyalty, identity, and two families at odds
22:00 — What children need most when families clash
25:00 — Racism, homophobia, and learning to self-advocate
28:00 — The family member her mom cut off—and why it mattered
30:30 — Seeing both sides: race, policy, and systemic bias in adoption
33:00 — End of Part 1 + teaser for next week’s episode

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

In this episode of The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, Rebecca Gruenspan—adoptive parent, consultant, and founder of RG Adoption Consulting—continues her powerful conversation with Jennifer Skiles, an adoptee, author, and survivor whose journey is one of deep faith, forgiveness, and full-circle healing.

In Part II, Jennifer shares how she navigated profound grief after losing her birth mother, found peace through forgiveness, and followed a trail of faith and DNA that led her to her biological father—who never knew she existed. From sleepless nights and emotional discovery to the moment she heard her dad’s voice for the first time, Jennifer’s story reminds us that healing and belonging are never out of reach.

• 🔗 Important Links
  • RG Adoption Consulting → https://rgadoptionconsulting.com
• • Book a 30-Minute Consult → https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact
• • Jennifer Skiles
• • Vault of Treasures: A Journey of Adoption, Family, Faith, and Forgiveness by Jennifer Skiles
• • Ancestry.com → https://www.ancestry.com
• • Julie Brumley, Coming Home to Self → https://cominghometoself.co
• • Sweet Peach Tree → https://sweetpeachtree.com — use code ROADMAP10 for 10% off

Chapters

00:00 – Sponsor: Sweet Peach Tree01:15 – Recap of Part I02:00 – Grieving Her Birth Mother’s Passing04:30 – The Power of Friendship and Community06:00 – Learning to Forgive09:00 – The Search for Her Birth Father Begins11:30 – The Facebook Messages That Changed Everything13:40 – “He Felt Like Home”: The First Conversation16:00 – A Pact to Never Lose Time Again17:30 – Redefining Family and Belonging20:00 – Embracing Her Sicilian Roots25:00 – Writing Vault of Treasures as Therapy28:00 – The Hotel Card He Kept for 40 Years32:00 – Overcoming a Rare Illness with Faith34:30 – The Ripple Effect of Sharing Her Story35:50 – Shoutouts and Advice for Adoptive Parents37:40 – Final Reflections: Adoption in Three Words39:10 – Closing Message from Rebecca

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

In this episode of The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, Rebecca Gruenspan—adoptive parent, consultant, and founder of RG Adoption Consulting—sits down with Jennifer Skiles, an adoptee, author, and survivor whose story is one of extraordinary courage and grace.

Adopted at three years old, Jennifer’s early life was marked by both love and deep pain. After enduring years of abuse in her adoptive home, she found the strength to reclaim her story—reuniting with her birth mother, uncovering long-held family secrets, and eventually seeking out the biological father who never knew she existed.

Jennifer’s story reminds us that while we are not defined by our past, we can be refined by it. Her resilience offers hope to anyone navigating pain, identity, and healing after adoption.

🔗 Important Links
• RG Adoption Consulting → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠
• Book a 30-Minute Consult → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact

Jennifer Skiles⁠
• Vault of Treasures: A Journey of Adoption, Family, Faith, and Forgiveness by Jennifer Skiles

• Solace Gift Boxes → AdoptSolace.com

Chapters

00:00 — Sponsor: Solace Gift Boxes for birth mothers
01:00 — Meet Jennifer Skiles: adoptee, author, survivor
02:30 — Early childhood memories and being adopted at age three
03:45 — The moment everything changed: discovering abuse at age 12
05:30 — Secrets and silence inside her adoptive family
07:00 — Learning she was adopted—and keeping it a secret herself
09:45 — The start of six years of abuse and isolation
12:45 — Why she stayed quiet and how fear shaped her choices
15:30 — Losing her adoptive father and the complex feelings that followed
17:00 — Choosing faith and forgiveness instead of anger
19:15 — How compassion became her path to healing
20:30 — Reuniting with her birth mother after decades apart
24:00 — The shock of discovering she was born in Germany
26:00 — Finding her biological mom through an AOL search and a letter
27:30 — Their emotional reunion after years apart
29:15 — Learning the truth about her birth parents’ relationship
31:00 — Losing her birth mother unexpectedly after 12 years

In this episode of The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, Rebecca Gruenspan—adoptive parent, consultant, and founder of RG Adoption Consulting—takes you inside her signature presentation: a masterclass on the basics of domestic adoption.

From her own story of 26 failed IUIs to becoming a single mom through adoption, Rebecca walks you step by step through what it really takes to build your family this way. She covers the questions hopeful parents ask most often—about open adoption, profiles, timelines, and costs—and doesn’t shy away from the realities, risks, and emotional work required.

You’ll learn why readiness (emotional and financial) is critical, how to manage fears and expectations, and why building the right team around you makes all the difference. Whether you’re just beginning to explore adoption or you’ve already started your journey, this episode gives you the clarity, encouragement, and practical insight you need.

🔗 Important Links
• RG Adoption Consulting → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠
• Book a 30-Minute Consult → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact⁠
• Sweet Peach Tree (Sponsor) → ⁠sweetpeachtree.com⁠ – use code ROADMAP10 for 10% off

Chapters

00:00 – Welcome & Sponsor Message
00:42 – Rebecca’s Story: From Infertility to Adoption
02:36 – The Emotional Storm of Family Building
04:22 – Common Questions & Fears Around Adoption
05:10 – Why Open Adoption Is the Norm Today
06:59 – “Will We Ever Get Picked?” (Singles, LGBTQ+, Parents in Their 40s+)
08:49 – Adoption Timelines, Dead Ends & Staying Committed
09:54 – Readiness: Grief, Healing & Opening Your Heart
12:45 – Managing Fear & Knowing the Risks
13:55 – Why There’s No “Entitlement” in Adoption
15:20 – Building Your Adoption Team (Home Study, Attorney, Consultant & More)
19:20 – The Adoption Profile: Why It Matters More Than You Think
22:40 – Don’t Put All Your Eggs in One Basket (Diversifying Agencies)
24:08 – Questions to Ask When Presented with a Situation
26:32 – Preparing for Transracial, Special Needs & Drug-Exposed Adoptions
27:33 – The Rising Costs of Adoption & How to Plan for Them
30:04 – Grants, Loans, Fundraising & the 2025 Tax Credit
31:13 – How Consultants Support Families Step by Step
32:35 – Final Encouragement: “You’ve Got This”

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

In this episode of The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, Rebecca continues her conversation with Dr. Ellen Weber Libby—psychotherapist, adoptive parent, and author of The Calling to Adopt: Should I or Shouldn’t I?

Part two dives deeper into the hard truths and family dynamics that shape the adoption journey. Dr. Libby unpacks the warning signs that signal someone may not be ready to adopt, why openness is non-negotiable, and how favoritism plays out in families (yes, there’s usually a “favorite child”). She also shares strategies for handling unsupportive relatives, protecting your child, and navigating the ripple effects adoption has on extended family.

Whether you’re just beginning to explore adoption or you’re already parenting, this episode offers powerful insights into the challenges—and gifts—of building your family through adoption.

🔗 Important Links

• RG Adoption Consulting → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠
• ⁠Dr. Ellen Weber Libby⁠
• Dr. Ellen Weber Libby’s ⁠The Calling to Adopt: Should I or Shouldn’t I?⁠
• Sweet Peach Tree (Sponsor) → ⁠sweetpeachtree.com⁠ – use code ROADMAP10 for 10% off

Chapters

00:00 – Welcome Back & Sponsor Message
01:19 – Introduction to Part 2 with Dr. Ellen Weber Libby
01:54 – Warning Signs: When You’re Not Ready to Adopt
04:22 – Soul-Searching Around Donor Conception vs. Adoption
05:56 – Why Rigidity Doesn’t Work in Adoption
07:33 – The “Favorite Child” Discussion
09:12 – How Favoritism Shapes Children (for better or worse)
12:45 – Will Parents Love Adopted & Biological Children Equally?
14:29 – Why Secrets Hurt Families More Than Favoritism
16:27 – How Adoption Impacts Extended Family Dynamics
18:30 – Sharing a Child’s Needs Without Oversharing Their Story
20:25 – Transracial Adoption & Shifting Family Legacy
21:40 – Handling Negative or Toxic Family Reactions
23:28 – Standing Up for Your Child in Hard Situations
25:03 – The Calling to Adopt: A Life’s Gift
26:37 – Why Dr. Libby Wrote The Calling to Adopt
29:00 – Writing Honestly Without Telling Her Children’s Stories
31:27 – Parenting Differences & Lessons from Risk-Taking Kids
32:30 – Finding a Therapist Who Truly Understands Adoption
33:33 – Attachment, Loss & the Roots of Trauma
35:44 – Dr. Libby on Retirement & Staying Connected
36:13 – Quickfire Round with Dr. Libby
37:22 – Closing Thoughts & Rebecca’s Sign-Off

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

In this episode of The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, Rebecca sits down with Dr. Ellen Weber Libby—psychotherapist, adoptive parent, and author of The Calling to Adopt: Should I or Shouldn’t I?

Adoption is one of the few life decisions where there’s truly no turning back. But how do you know if adoption is your calling or simply a hopeful wish? Dr. Libby shares decades of wisdom from her clinical practice and her own adoption journey, guiding listeners through the soul-searching questions every hopeful parent must face before moving forward.

🔗 Important Links

• RG Adoption Consulting → https://rgadoptionconsulting.com
• Dr. Ellen Weber Libby
• Dr. Ellen Weber Libby’s The Calling to Adopt: Should I or Shouldn’t I?
• Sweet Peach Tree (Sponsor) → sweetpeachtree.com – use code ROADMAP10 for 10% off

Chapters:

00:00 – Welcome & Sponsor: Sweet Peach Tree
01:20 – Introducing Dr. Ellen Weber Libby (psychotherapist, adoptive parent, and author)
03:30 – The Power and Danger of Dreams in the decision to adopt
05:30 – Is Adoption a Calling—or Just a Wish?
07:20 – Hidden Motivations (guilt, loss, religion, personal narratives)
09:40 – Attachment Fears & Personal Stories from Dr. Libby
11:30 – Balancing Support vs. Opposition from family and loved ones
13:55 – The Role of Community in adoption decisions
15:45 – Secrecy in Adoption Journeys: Pros & Cons
18:30 – Processing Loss in Adoption vs. Pregnancy
20:30 – Essential Conversations Before Adopting (partners, family, closest support)
24:10 – Using Ellen’s Book for Dialogue & Journaling
26:10 – Why Boundaries Matter with Friends & Family
28:40 – When Grandparents Cross the Line (a client story)
30:30 – How to Hold Boundaries with Love
31:45 – Educating Family: Resources to Share (The Adoption Roadmap, The Calling to Adopt)
32:30 – Closing Thoughts & Part Two Teaser

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

In this episode of the Adoption Roadmap podcast, Brianna and Shay share their emotional journey through adoption, discussing the challenges of fall-throughs, the importance of support systems, and the need for cautious optimism. They reflect on their experiences with adoption consulting and the significance of community support, emphasizing the need for flexibility in preferences and the emotional toll of waiting. The conversation highlights the transformative nature of adoption and the importance of education and self-reflection throughout the process.

🔗 Important Links

• RG Adoption Consulting → https://rgadoptionconsulting.com

• The Adoption Continuum Community (our post-adoption online membership space) → WAITLIST

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the Adoption Journey

01:46 Navigating Emotional Ups and Downs in Adoption

05:18 Understanding Fall-Throughs in Adoption

10:48 The Role of Support Systems in Adoption

12:11 Cautious Optimism and Community Support

15:49 Trusting the Process of Adoption

18:33 Flexibility in Adoption Preferences

22:08 The Challenge of Waiting in Adoption

24:40 Current Status and Future Prospects

26:44 The Impact of Adoption Consulting

29:41 Rapid Fire Questions and Final Thoughts

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

Season 3 of The Adoption Roadmap Podcast kicks off with a bold, heartfelt story. In this two-part conversation, host Rebecca Gruenspan sits down with Brianna and Shay Cherry, a vibrant Black same-sex couple from Charlotte, North Carolina—and proud RG Adoption Consulting clients—to share the beginnings of their adoption journey.

Married for two years and partners for six, Brianna and Shay open up about:

• What first sparked their desire to adopt

• The financial and emotional barriers they had to navigate

• How they found RG Adoption Consulting and why they trusted their gut to sign on

• Why visibility as a Black same-sex couple in adoption is powerful, even when it comes with painful bias

• Rejection, resilience, and how they lean on their support systems

• What it means to set boundaries with loved ones while waiting for “the call”

This episode is full of laughter, real talk, and wisdom for any hopeful adoptive parent—especially if you’re navigating adoption as a couple of color, an LGBTQ+ family, or anyone who’s ever wondered how to handle the ups and downs of this process.

🔗 Important Links

• RG Adoption Consulting → https://rgadoptionconsulting.com

• The Adoption Continuum Community (our post-adoption online membership space) → WAITLIST

  
  

  Chapters

  00:00 – Welcome to Season 3 + About The Adoption Continuum Community
  01:28 – Meet Brianna & Shay: Partners, Fashion, and Their Adoption Dreams
  02:22 – What Sparked Their Decision to Adopt
  04:29 – Overcoming Financial Barriers & Choosing Parenthood Together
  05:30 – How They Found RG Adoption Consulting (Google → Gut Feeling)
  07:15 – Why They Chose to Work With RG as Clients
  08:14 – The Power of Visibility as a Black Same-Sex Couple in Adoption
  09:34 – Facing Biases and Barriers Along the Way
  11:03 – Rejection Before Being Seen: How It Feels Different
  12:19 – Support Systems: Family, Friends, and Surprising Reactions
  13:54 – Boundaries While Waiting & Healthy Ways Loved Ones Check In
  17:09 – Preferences: Hoping for a Girl, Raising Boys, and Honest Reflections
  18:13 – Part 2 Teaser: Navigating Fall-Throughs and Heartbreak

  
  

  Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

  For questions about adoption, episode suggestions or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

  
  

In this episode of the Adoption Roadmap Podcast, Rebecca Gruenspan reflects on the journey of the podcast through 100 episodes, highlighting key themes and insights from various guests. The conversation covers the complexities of adoption, including the importance of community support, financial planning, cultural identity, and the roles of birth parents. Rebecca emphasizes the emotional aspects of adoption, including joy and grief, and the need for open communication and understanding in the adoption process. The episode serves as a comprehensive recap of the valuable lessons learned throughout the podcast's journey.

Important Links

Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao

Aida Phillips

Kerry Hackett 1

Kerry Hackett 2

Mother's Day

Julie Brumley

Wilson Munsterman

Dr. Sara Silvestri

Jessie Mattos

Mental Health Episode (Anonymous)

Gift of Adoption Fund

Donna Pope 1

Donna Pope 2

Rachel Patten

Becky Fawcett

Cam Lee Small

Sara Cole

Katy Kinirons Mejia

Helena Angela

Jeff Dunn

Simon Benn

Ramya Gruneisen

Lindsay Bruggeman

Jennifer Kelly

Laurie Shelton

Josie Mi

Tarcia Smith

Damon Davis II

Damon Davis I

Kate Papkin

Kelly Ellison

Tamika Swint

Dan Miller, Ben Greenberg

Natalie Bauman

Francine Apy

Diana Schimmel

Matt Joyner

Maureen Dykinga

Lucrece Bundy

Whitney Michael

Kate Shanahan

Kathryn Russell

Allison Olson

Linda Sexton

Kerry Hackett

Amy Imber

Sweet Peach Tree

Our Chosen Child

RG Adoption Consulting

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the Adoption Roadmap Podcast

02:53 Reflections on the Journey of Podcasting

06:05 Understanding the Home Study Process

08:52 Single Motherhood and Adoption

12:14 The Importance of Open Adoption

14:54 Navigating Power Dynamics in Adoption

18:10 Building Resilience and Embracing Diversity

21:03 Transitioning from Private to Foster Care Adoption

23:53 Financial Planning for Adoption

27:08 Legal Considerations in Adoption

29:50 Positive Perspectives on Adoption

33:07 Exploring Identity and Heritage in Adoption

35:58 The Role of Social Media in Adoption Success

39:41 The Duality of Joy and Pain in Adoption

41:10 Navigating Mental Health in Adoption

49:09 Financial Barriers and Support in Adoption

52:00 The Role of Birth Mothers in Adoption

53:53 Health Concerns and Medical Records in Adoption

55:46 Identity and Self-Worth in Adoption

57:37 Somatic Healing and Adoption Trauma

01:00:51 Celebrating Mother's Day in the Adoption Community

01:01:45 Post-Adoption Support and Community

01:02:42 Cultural Dynamics in Adoption

01:04:06 The Psychology of Adoption and Emotional Care

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday and Friday mornings. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠