Hey friend! Does it ever feel like you’re living in survival mode? You know that feeling where you find yourself constantly saying, “if I can just get through one more day, things will be better”? I know I have!

But what does it really take to move out of survival mode? How do we find a place a safety and compassion for ourselves (and others) as we process and move past what we’ve been through?

Trauma-informed therapist Aundi Kolber joins me on the show today to tackle those questions and more! 

Aundi is a licensed professional counselor, and while we can’t all be her clients, we can all access the wisdom she shares in her two books, Try Softer and Strong Like Water. 

This is a rich conversation about emotional health, and I’m so excited to share it with you. 

Join in as we talk about: 

• How the last three years have affected all of us (and why it makes sense if you’re not “over it”)

Aundi Kolber is a licensed professional counselor and author of two books, including her most recent, Strong Like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things–and Experience True Flourishing. Aundi lives with her family in Castle Rock, CO. 

Favorite quotes:

~“Trauma is anything that overwhelms our nervous system's capacity to cope.”

~“How we experience is something at least as important as the event itself.”

~“Getting yourself outside is a great place to do grounding. Nature is so soothing to us and really regulating to our nervous system.”

~“We are designed for more. Both our fierceness and softness are God-given.”

~“Our relationship with ourselves is influenced by our attachment style.”

~“Secure relationships have an internal sense of predictability that when you have needs others around who care for you will do their best to meet their needs to the extent they are able.”

~“One way to begin is to become aware of our attachment style.”

Coaching this week: 

1. Bundling Friend Time: Getting enough friend time, especially during busy seasons. (38:15)

Links to great things we discussed: 

• Aundi Kolber Website 

Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here.

Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)

xo,

Alli

Hey hey! Have you been overwhelmed with all there is to do or wondered how to make it all happen? Maybe you’ve wondered how to prioritize better what is most important to you?

Me too, and today’s guest is here to help us with that!

Crystal Paine is one of the wisest women I know, and she (literally) wrote the book on time management: The Time-Saving Mom. We had a great conversation about how to make the most of our days and spend them well, and I think you’ll find some practical help and encouragement here!

Listen in as Crystal and I discuss: 

• Crystal’s 4-step system for feeling less frazzled in the midst of a busy life

When Crystal visited with us last year, we dove into love-centered parenting, mom guilt, and what happens when we let our kids make mistakes. She shared the emotional journey with one of her children, who was experiencing depression and suicidal thoughts. If you are experiencing a difficult season, you can find practical wisdom and hope here.

Crystal Paine is an entrepreneur and New York Times Bestselling author of multiple books, including her newest, The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most. Crystal and her husband, Jesse, live in Nashville, TN, with their six children (three teens and three under three!). 

Favorite quotes:

~“You need to know where you are going with your day.”

~“A Time Blocked To-Do list gives you freedom because you can be fully present where you are.”

~“We can change our life by making little choices every day that add up to a big change over time.”

~“Change your mindset and you are going to change your life.”

~“There are very few things that are actually going to matter in 25 years and it allows me to let a lot of things go and focus on what really matters.” 

Coaching this week: 

1. Our kids may make life meaningful, but relationships make life happy. (39:17)

Links to great things we discussed: 

• Crystal Paine Website 

Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here.

Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)

xo,

Alli

Hey friend! Our emotional health is crucial to our well-being, but sometimes it’s hard to know exactly how to get there or even what to do. What does it look like for us to move toward healing from the inside out?

I invited my friend Debra Fileta on the show to walk us through those questions and talk about the practical side of emotional health. Debra is a licensed professional counselor and has written a new book called RESET, which is all about healing from the inside out.

Listen in as we talk about: 

• Why self-care really is soul care (and not made up or selfish!)

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor, speaker, and host of the Love + Relationships podcast. She is the author of six books, including her latest, RESET: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life. Debra and her husband, John, live with their four children in Lancaster, PA.

Favorite quotes:

~~“Just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it never will. Your mindset is 90% of the battle.”

~~“Our thoughts lead to our feelings which then lead to our behaviors. So when you are thinking negative thoughts and are hopeless, the truth is your life is going to follow suit.”

~~“It is hard work to get healthy, but it is harder work to stay unhealthy.”

~~“We need to understand the underlying thoughts that are leading to the underlying feelings that are impacting our behavior. We can't just expect to change from the external.”

~~The spirit can give us what we need to not continue to do things in an unhealthy way and live an abundant life the way Jesus calls us to here and now.”

Links to great things we discussed: 

• Debra Fileta Website 

Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here.

Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)

xo,

Alli

Hey friend! Have you seen so many people- on social media, in your own life, or both- walking through deconstructing their faith? Why is that happening? Is there anything we can do to help our kids build a faith they won’t have to tear down? 

I brought in a friend to talk through these things with me. David Kinnaman, the CEO of the leading research company, Barna Group, did years of research to try to answer those questions, and he’s here to share some of his insights with us. 

David spent many years researching why people leave the Church, and then he and his team asked, “What can we learn from those who stay?” The results were fascinating! 

Listen in as David and I talk about: 

• 5 practices of young people who have a resilient faith

David Kinnaman is the CEO of Barna Group and author of multiple bestselling books, including Faith for Exiles: 5 Ways for a New Generation to Follow Jesus in a Digital Babylon. David has three children and lives in Fort Worth, Texas. 

Favorite quotes:

~“Things have sped up so much that the ability of our families and churches to stay up with what it means to live a fully human and fully Christian life is really changing.”

~“Being ready and prepared and having deep roots into what God says about us, those are the things that are most important.”

~“We’re doing dial-up ministry in a WiFi world.”

~“Young people really want to learn and I think a lot of churches do a disservice by oversimplifying the message of the Christianity.”

~“We have a more American vision of what it means to be a young adult than we have a Christian vision of what it means to be a young adult.”

~“Let’s give away the fear and instead focus on what God has for us.”

Links to great things we discussed: 

• Barna Group

Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here.

Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)

xo,

Alli

Hey hey! I’m so glad you’re here, friend. I’m delighted to have Beth Moore with me today, as we discuss mental illness–a tender topic that many of us have experienced either ourselves or alongside someone we love.  

In this fantastic conversation, Beth and I talk about the stories she shares in her new memoir, All My Knotted-Up Life, many of which she’s sharing publicly for the first time.

Join Beth and I as we unpack: 

• The prevalence of mental illness, how it affects people we love, and why it is worth it to Beth and her family to share their story. 

Talking with Beth is always a blessing. On her last visit to the show, she shared how to know if you are actually called or if it’s your own desires. And why I almost killed a man on Mount Olympus in her honor. You can catch that episode here.

Beth Moore is the founder and visionary of Living Proof Ministries, an international Bible teacher, and bestselling author of numerous Bible studies and books. Her newest book, a memoir titled All My Knotted-Up Life, is a must-read for anyone who needs to be encouraged by a woman’s resilience and God’s faithfulness. Beth and her husband, Keith, have two grown daughters and three grandchildren and live outside of Houston, Texas.

Favorite quotes:

~“Do the next thing that God puts on your heart that is a benefit to someone in his name.”

~“God is training you as you do it. He is even training you through what you learn you are not called to.”

~“Real life baggage and real life complications do not disqualify us from ministry.”

~“There are so many people dealing with mental illnesses in their homes and hiding in it as if it is a shame of some kind.”

Links to great things we discussed: 

• Living Proof Ministries Website 

Order your copy of Remaining You While Raising Them here.

Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)

xo,

Alli

Hey friend! What if you could get some of the best marriage advice from multiple experts all in one place? That would be a game-changer, right?! 

In celebration of Valentine’s Day tomorrow, that’s exactly what we’re doing today!

I have pulled together some of my favorite marriage advice we’ve gotten here on the show over the last year to give you the best of love.  

These marriage tips come from three experts with different perspectives and wisdom we could all use when it comes to our marriage (and our relationships!). 

No marriage is perfect, but these tips will help you build that connection and strengthen the most important relationship in your life. 

Listen in as we talk about : 

• The two buckets we carry into every conflict, and the importance of one of those buckets in building a marriage with Kevin Myers

Kevin Myers has been married to his wife and co-author, Marcia, for nearly forty years. The Myers have four grown children and two grandchildren, and live in Georgia, where Kevin is senior pastor at 12Stone Church. 

Toni Nieuwhof has worked as a divorce attorney and knows what it’s like to wish your marriage was better. She and her husband, Carey, have weathered the ups and downs to have a great marriage, and now Toni helps others do the same through books, courses, and podcasts. 

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling author of over fifteen books, including Sacred Marriage, which has sold over one million copies. Gary and his wife, Lisa, have been married for nearly forty years. They have three grown children and two grandchildren. 

Favorite quotes:

~“You need to be in the life of prayer to accomplish only what God can accomplish and make possible in a marriage relationship.”    - Kevin Myers

~“We tend to use marriage rather than build it.””  - Kevin Myers

~“A much healthier approach to marriage is to recognize what you really want is to elevate your bond and marriage connection higher than your own individual interests.”   - Toni Nieuwhof

~“One of the best ways you can give security to your kids and give them that solid loving foundation is to love your spouse really well and make your marriage a priority.”    - Toni Nieuwhof

~“An emotionally connected marriage makes the difficulties easier to bear and the fun times that much more delicious to enjoy.”   - Gary Thomas

~“Intimacy is dependent on security. You can’t be intimate with somebody that you don’t feel secure with.”   - Gary Thomas

Links to great things we discussed: 

• Kevin Myers Website

Join the Confident Motherhood Community here.

Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)

xo,

Alli

Hey hey! If you’ve ever wondered if you’re normal  regarding what you and your spouse do behind closed doors, this conversation is for you!

Today, my friend Shaunti and I are talking about those things married people do in the bedroom. Before you get bashful and bow out, I promise we will use comfortable language for this often-uncomfortable topic.

This conversation isn’t for little ones but is vital for married couples, and you don’t want to miss out on it! These insights are game-changers. 

Shaunti has spent years on this intimate kind of research. We are going there today, discussing the questions that are sometimes difficult to ask

Tune in to our conversation as we chat about:

• Why money and intimacy are so tough to talk about

I love how Shaunti helps us normalize talking about what matters to us this week. Did you catch her when she joined us to talk about how to find joy and happiness regardless of what’s going on around us?  Listen to that episode here.

Shaunti Feldhahn is a Harvard-educated social researcher, speaker, and best-selling author of researched-based books, including her most recent, Secrets of and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference. Shaunti and her husband, Jeff, have co-authored several books together, including For Couples Only. They have two children and call Atlanta home. 

Favorite quotes:

~“Those people who could talk about their intimate lives were far more likely to be satisfied with their intimate lives and to be connecting much more often.”

~“The key is that you have to talk about what matters to you.”

~“One way to get started is to dig into some of those heart issues with your spouse.”

~“Whoever has the initiating desire has to recognize your spouse is going to be making a decision based on how they feel about you that day and how close you are.”

Coaching this week: 

1. How do I convince my loved ones that coaching is a real and viable business?   (37:41)

Links to great things we discussed: 

• Shaunti Feldhahn Website 

Join the Confident Motherhood Community here.

Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)

xo,

Alli

If you’ve heard me talk about The Coach School and wondered, “Is this for me?” or “Is now the time?” this episode is for you! If you’re not a coach, stick around because this conversation may change your mind!

In a fun twist, my friend Sahar Twesigye is taking over the show today, and I’m answering the questions! With Sahar’s help, I’m giving you an inside look at all things The Coach School. 

Listen in on this conversation with Sahar and me as we talk about : 

• The two messages I kept hearing (and still hear!) from women that made me build The Coach School

Sahar Twesigye is a multi-passionate entrepreneur and speaker. She is crazy about marketing and can help you with your own via her Pinterest course (you don’t want to miss that!). Sahar and her husband, Andrew, live in London with their four young children. 

Favorite quotes:

~“The world needs great coaches who are values-driven and who want the best for people.” 

~“With the Coach School I wanted for you to have all the curriculum of a course but you also have people to help you. It is a very high-touch program.”

~“We need to get out of that scarcity mindset to invest in ourselves, our future, and our business.”

~“Women need help no matter how successful we look on the outside. Women need help.”

~“You will never feel like you are ready and you will never feel like the time is right. If we wait until we feel confident and have enough time we are going to be waiting forever.”

~“Don’t be afraid to invest in yourself because you can change the course of life for your family and it is a legacy to leave for your children.” 

Links to great things we discussed: 

• Sahar Twesigye Website 

Join The Coach School here.

Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)

xo,

Alli

Hey friend! Have you ever felt stuck, like you’re circling the same issue in your life over and over? Or maybe you have dreams that feel out of reach because you don’t know how to move forward? 

If either of those applies to you, I’ve got some good news!

1. Change is possible. 

Listen in on this great conversation with my friend Megan Hyatt Miller who (literally) wrote the book on why our thoughts matter and how we can change them. 

Megan and I don’t hold back on this conversation, friend! While it’s normal to struggle with limiting beliefs at times, we don’t have to get stuck there. 

Tune in to learn more about: 

• What science says about how our brains are wired (and why this is good news for anyone who feels stuck!)

Megan Hyatt Miller is the President & CEO of Michael Hyatt & Company, host of the popular business podcast Lead to Win, and author of the new book, Mind Your Mindset. Megan and her husband, Joel, have five children and live in Franklin, Tennessee. 

Favorite quotes:

~“If we go upstream from our actions we can actually produce way better results then if we just double down on new and different actions without understanding what is driving those in the first place.” 

~“Your brain can change. You actually can cut new pathways when you learn to leverage your thinking.”

~“We are not victims to the thoughts that come into our head and that is not the final word.”

~“We want to take the stories that are disempowering and we want to be intentional about rewriting those.”

~“You get a choice in what you believe about yourself, the world, and other people.”

Coaching this week: 

1. Signs you could be an amazing coach. (30:03)

Links to great things we discussed: 

• Megan Hyatt Miller

Join the Confident Motherhood Community here.

Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)

xo,

Alli

Hey hey! The last three years have done a number on us, haven’t they? If you have found yourself looking around and thinking, “What is going on with people?” or even, “What has happened to us?” You are not alone! 

Join me as I talk with my friend Carlos Whittaker about those kinds of thoughts and his new book, How to Human: Three Ways to Share Life Beyond What Distracts, Divides, and Disconnects Us.  

Carlos and I go all in, talking about how we are supposed to do this life as humans who live from a place of compassion.

Listen in as Carlos and I discuss: 

• What actually has happened to us the last three years, and how can we course-correct

Carlos Whittaker is a gifted storyteller, but his greatest gift is the ability to make people feel seen. He is a global speaker, podcast host of Human Hope, and author of four books, including his latest, How to Human. Carlos and his wife, Heather, live with their family in Nashville, Tennessee. 

Favorite quotes:

“We have to be very intentional about getting back to who we were created to be and getting back to the humanity we were created in the image of God.”  - Carlos Whittaker

“Be who you were created to be.” -Carlos Whittaker

“It is important to find the thing that makes you come alive. There is something that makes you come alive. You just haven’t figured it out yet.” -Carlos Whittaker

“The change has to start with us.”  -Carlos Whittaker

Coaching this week: 

1. If you have one piece of advice for someone growing her coaching business, what would it be? (27:53)

Links to great things we discussed: 

• Carlos Whittaker 

Join the Confident Motherhood Community here.

Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)

xo,

Alli