In episode 64 of "The Art of We" podcast, hosts Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer explore the intricate dynamics of conscious adult partnership with their dear friends and relationship experts Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder. This deeply personal episode is a dialogue about viewing relationships as a growth path and the nuanced complexities of practicing secure functioning together.

The discussion highlights the balance of individual needs within family dynamics, particularly the prioritization of partnership in the midst of parenting challenges. You’ll hear personal experiences and strategies in maintaining a healthy relationship and effective collaboration, both in parenting roles and in professional endeavors. 

This episode also touches upon the concept of relational development as a spiritual path, offering a perspective on personal growth and the importance of mutual support in relationships. They explore the consequences of developmental gaps experienced during adolescence and how they can affect adult intimate relationships, with the guests sharing personal insights and emphasizing the significance of addressing relational trauma.

Main Topics Covered:

• Unique insights into adult development stages and how gaps in these stages can impact intimate relationship
• The significance of relational health and how it impacts every area of our lives
• The art of parenting and collaboration in relationships with real-life examples
• The balance of individual needs and partnership dynamics in a family setting
• Codependency vs Interdependency
• The role of relational development in personal growth and spiritual paths

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Resources Mentioned: 

• Jayson Gaddis - The Relationship School Website
• Ellen Boeder Website
• Jayson Gaddis Instagram
• Ellen Boeder Instagram
• Getting To Zero – By Jayson Gaddis
• Jayson Gaddis YouTube
• Stan Tatkin, PACT Model
• Dr. Ellyn Bader

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 
• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

In episode 63 of “The Art of We Podcast”, hosts Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer invite listeners to set a theme for their partnership this new year. Their second year creating a theme, they share the power behind a mutually agreed upon, fully aligned, “North Star” that’s different than goal setting but that sets the stage for the quality of life their “We” most needs in the coming year. 

You’ll hear how Krista and Dr. Will came up with their partnership theme for the year as well as how they plan to implement it. Unlike individual intentions, when we can look to see what the “We” of us needs – that which includes but transcends both individuals – a lot more comes into focus including new opportunities for creating a healthy, vibrant and potent partnership. 

In addition to setting a theme, the hosts share their #1 “if you do anything together this year, do this!” action item for all types of partnerships. Please enjoy and thank you for being part of "The Art of We" community. Wishing you joy, growth, and meaningful connections in the upcoming year!

Main Topics Covered:

• What a “partnership theme” is and why you want one
• An example of how to come up with a partnership theme
• How and why Krista and Dr. Will chose their theme
• The importance of prioritizing quality of life as much as quantity of life inside partnership

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Resources Mentioned: 

• Art of We Episode #33 – The One Thing All Couples Must Ask
• Tami Simon + Sounds True

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 
• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

Welcome to Episode 62 of "The Art of We" Podcast – a special episode marking the completion of our commitment to a full year of weekly episodes in 2023. In this episode we share how we will be reviewing this past year and our new and unique way of setting “We” Goals for this coming year. 

We introduce how we are tweaking our annual review process, which involves examining Demartini’s seven key areas of life – spiritual, health, financial, relationship, family, intellectual, and career. This reflective process helps us assess how well we met our goals, what lessons we learned, and identify areas for improvement. 

We introduce our new approach to goal setting for the upcoming year. Instead of individual goals, we emphasize "we goals" – goals that are mutually aligned and contribute to the growth and success of the relationship. There’s a new level of possibility for the success of each of us and for our “We” when we are looking from a holistic level and holding our individual goals collectively.

Thank you for being part of "The Art of We" community. Wishing you joy, growth, and meaningful connections in the upcoming year!

Main Topics Covered:

• The Seven Areas of Life Framework by John Demartini: we discuss the importance of customizing this framework to align with our personal values and priorities.
• Filling the Gaps Together: the importance of identifying gaps in various areas and collaboratively addressing them as a couple.
• Bringing Aliveness into Goals: the importance of not only identifying gaps but also recognizing and prioritizing what brings aliveness and joy. 
• Quality of Goal Pursuit: our shift in letting the end outcomes drive us rather than standing for how we feel in the process of working towards those outcomes

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Resources Mentioned: 

• John Demartini - 7 Areas Of Life

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 
• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

Welcome to Episode 61 of The Art of the Podcast! In this second-to-last episode of the year, Krista and Will delve into practical practices that can provide support to our partners during family gatherings and social events, especially during the darker time of the year. Released on the solstice, this episode aims to bring more light into your relationships during the festive season.

You’ll hear specific practices that Krista and Will have found effective in navigating stress and triggers during the holiday season. From pre-planning for events to understanding our partner’s subtle stress signals, their practical tips provide a roadmap for fostering a more secure and connected partnership, enhancing the holiday experience for you and your loved one.

Krista and Will invite you to venture into the realm of creating new, elevated experiences within your relationship. Discover the transformative power of embracing fresh perspectives during challenging circumstances, particularly in the context of family gatherings and social events during the holiday season.

Main Topics Covered:

• The impact of family history on behavior during holiday gatherings and the ways in which certain memories and patterns can automatically surface.
• Pre-Gaming with your partner before potentially challenging family or social events, discussing potential triggers and creating a game plan for support.
• Understanding how different parts of your personality can contribute to less effective communication and support in moments of stress.
• Tracking signals and non-verbal cues from your partner, allowing for proactive support and intervention in real time. 
• A relationship agreement  (turned marriage vow) that helps to protect each other, not only in public and private, but also from themselves. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Resources Mentioned: 

• The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 
• Dick Schwartz and Internal Family Systems (Parts Work)
• Stan Tatkin

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

In this podcast episode, Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer engage in a thoughtful discussion on the topics of purpose and purposeful action. Driven by their experiences, they highlight the energetic difference between purposeful action, where one consciously moves toward significant goals, and non-purposeful action, characterized by a sense of tension, anxiety, and purposelessness. 

They draw parallels between their insights in a business context and the dynamics within their relationship, emphasizing the role of purpose in fostering a sense of order and fulfillment .As they reflect on the end of the year, they explore the importance of setting wildly unachievable goals and the transformative impact such aspirations can have. The conversation evolves into exploring the nuances of goal-setting, sharing their differences in what works for the greatest success in accomplishing desired outcomes. 

As the hosts prepare for the next season of their podcast, they express anticipation for deepening conversations about their shared goals, encouraging listeners to reflect on their own journeys toward generativity, aliveness, and purposeful action. The hosts conclude by inviting listeners to share their own processes around goal-setting and the containers that work best for them.

Main Topics Covered:

• The transformative impact of setting ambitious, seemingly unachievable goals
• The difference between purposeful action and non-purposeful action, and why that matters
• The parallels between their business context and within their relationship, in fostering order, fulfillment, and a positive energetic flow
• Goal-Setting Perspectives: the nuances of goal-setting to instill confidence and forward momentum
• Fear-based patterns that can arise if a goal is to small or too big
• Pendulating between pride and shame relating to goals and action

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Resources Mentioned: 

• The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

In Episode 59 of The Art of We Podcast, hosts Dr. Will and Krista Van Derveer delve into the theme of "Gambling Everything for Love." In this podcast episode, the hosts explore how this commitment (which they turned into a wedding vow) represents the fullest expression of limitless possibilities in a relationship. By risking old survival strategies that may hinder genuine connection, the hosts emphasize the importance of taking bold steps for the type of love they aspire to. 

The hosts reflect on their individual journeys towards seeking secure functioning partnerships, and the concept of not knowing what kind of partnership you have unless you are willing to risk bringing everything to the table. When you bring everything to the table you give the partnership – and the partners – the chance to step up to meet the opportunity. If we get stuck in thinking our partners or partnership cannot handle something, and thus we choose not to address something important, then we are inadvertently putting a limitation on what’s possible. 

The hosts conclude by sharing tangible daily practices they employ to live out the vow of "gambling everything for love." These practices include envisioning the kind of partnership they desire, addressing biases about each other, and tracking moments of discomfort or unexpressed feelings. By continuously working on their relationship, the hosts advocate for a deep and meaningful connection, providing insights and encouragement for listeners to embrace vulnerability and take risks in their own pursuit of love.

Main Topics Covered:

• The details of what it means to “gamble everything for love”
• Why they turned this into a marriage vow and why it’s foundational to their partnership
• Their individual journeys that led them to this perspective 
• The importance of reflecting on the potential or possibility of your partnership and not defaulting to it as a static entity
• The challenges and fears of this marriage vow and how Krista and Will work with these
• Practices to support living into “gambling everything for love” together

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Resources Mentioned: 

• The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

In Episode 58 of the Art of We podcast, Dr. Will and Krista Van Derveer delve into another foundational agreement turned vow in their relationship. Join them as they explore the nuances of supporting each other's greatest expression and the pivotal role it plays in their partnership. The hosts share personal experiences, emphasizing the necessity of a secure home base for authentic expression and the impact of mutual support on their professional endeavors.

Dr. Will and Krista underscore the value of recognizing and addressing blind spots together, fostering growth and finding possibility, especially when it’s hard. They discuss the proactive and courageous stance required to accept and hold each other accountable to live into one another’s greatest expression, emphasizing the cost of suppressing important goals and desires in order to avoid facing conflict in relationship. The episode dives into the nuances of navigating differences in mindsets, touching on cancel culture and the importance of respectful discourse. 

As the hosts share examples of personal challenges, they stress the significance of taking time, seeking external support when needed, and finding alignment in overcoming obstacles. The episode concludes with an invitation for listeners to reflect on their own relationships, encouraging open communication and the courage to stand for their partner's fullest expression. Tune in for more insightful discussions on the Art of We podcast!

Main Topics Covered:

• Personal Growth as the Supportive Partner: the challenges and growth opportunities inherent in supporting a partner's self-expression
• Creating a Safe Home Base: the significance of a secure home base for authentic expression and ability to transform
• Overcoming Challenges and Finding Mutuality: the importance of a partner seeing beyond individual perspectives
• Navigating Differences: the need for respectful discourse and differences of opinion to foster cultural progression
• Overcoming Challenges Together: the role of a partner in helping navigate blind spots and fostering growth

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Resources Mentioned: 

• The Collaborative Way
• The Relationship School with Jayson Gaddis
• Film: “Abortion Talks”
• The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

In episode 57 of the "Art of We" podcast, hosts Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer discuss the epidemic of loneliness and isolation, particularly during the darker and colder days of the year. They emphasize the importance of normalizing these feelings and acknowledge that even individuals in strong partnerships or with supportive communities often experience a version of loneliness. 

Dr. Will speculates on the biological and societal factors contributing to seasonal loneliness. Krista shares statistics from the US Surgeon General of 2023, highlighting the significant health risks associated with social isolation.

The hosts explore various strategies to cope with loneliness, including sharing their common go-tos. Dr. Will discusses the benefits of bright light therapy for seasonal affective disorder and the potential role of vitamin D supplementation in addressing depression. They conclude by encouraging listeners to also share their experiences and coping strategies around loneliness.

Main Topics Covered:

• Loneliness and isolation are discussed as an epidemic, especially during the darker days of the year.
• Biological and societal factors contribute to seasonal loneliness.
• Statistics from the US Surgeon General highlight the health risks associated with social isolation.
• Normalizing everyone feels flavors of this from time to time and ways to help soothe the 
• Bright light therapy and vitamin D supplementation are suggested as potential interventions for seasonal affective disorder.
• Reflecting on negative historical experiences during this time of year that can color the present day experience

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Resources Mentioned: 

• US Surgeon's 2023 Report “Our Epidemic On Isolation + Loneliness”
• Northern Light Technologies
• The Kiffness - YouTube

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 
• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

In episode 56 of the "Art of We" podcast, hosts Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer delve into the intricate relationship between personal and professional growth and what can be possible inside professional relationships that have varying hierarchical structures or power dynamics. 

They revisit Stan Taktin’s concept of "secure functioning" and introduce their We Operating System (WeOS), a framework influenced by neuroscience, The Collaborative Way, and growth mindsets. The hosts unpack three crucial elements for fostering optimal relationships in hierarchical settings, emphasizing the integration of personal and professional development, establishing collaborative agreements, and embracing a progress-over-perfection mindset.

Main Topics Covered:

The “WeOS” Framework:

• Introduction to the neuroscience-inspired concept of "secure functioning"
• Overview of their We Operating System (WeOS), incorporating three key components: Secure Functioning, Growth-Oriented Mindset, and the Collaborative Way.

Three Essential Elements for Optimal Professional Relationships:

• Committing to personal growth together within hierarchical relationships.
• Establishing agreements and practices to promote a more secure, strong and healthy working relationship.
• Embracing progress over perfection, focusing on excellence and continuous learning.

Leadership Responsibility and Team Dynamics:

• The role of leaders in practicing collaborative agreements and remaining open to feedback.
• Reflections on the collaborative nature of successful team dynamics and the impact of these principles on overall team performance.

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Resources Mentioned: 

• The Art of We Episode 52: Why You Want A Secure Functioning Business Partnership
• The Collaborative Way
• Stan Tatkin PACT 
• The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

In this episode of "The Art of We," Dr. Will Van Derveer and Krista Van Derveer delve into the fascinating journey of transitioning from a "me-first" mindset to a "we-focused" perspective in both personal and professional leadership. Dr. Will shares his evolution from a solo psychiatrist to a leader in a large organization, highlighting the challenges and insights gained along the way.

Episode Highlights:

Introduction (0:00 - 0:57)

• Interviewing Dr. Will and the episode's focus on his journey from a solo practitioner to a leader in a large organization.

Evolution from Solo Practitioner (0:57 - 6:27)

• Dr. Will's background as a solo psychiatrist and the initial one-man show in his private practice.
• The significance of the success being primarily about him, his reputation, and word-of-mouth referrals.
• The gradual shift towards hiring staff members but still maintaining an "all about me" mindset.

Leadership Development (6:27 - 13:25)

• Krista reflects on the transformation from "me" to "we" perspective and the importance of thinking about what's best for the company.
• The challenges of transitioning and the need for collaboration and vulnerability.
• The journey of learning to rely on others and the shift from "I can do it better" to "we can do more."

The Importance of Collaboration (13:25 - 19:19)

• Dr. Will's struggle with social anxiety and delegating tasks, and the fear of relinquishing control.
• The significance of transforming into a leader who trusts others' abilities and harnesses collective intelligence.
• The analogy of a silverback gorilla as an example of leading from a "we" perspective for the greater good.

Leadership and Growth (19:19 - 22:11)

• Emphasizing the importance of mentoring and coaching others and sharing credit and responsibility.
• The benefits of creating a culture of collaboration and collective intelligence within an organization.
• The evolution of leadership from "I can do it better" to "we can do more."

Challenges and Vulnerability (22:11 - 25:01)

• Dr. Will's fear of becoming irrelevant in the shift towards a "we" perspective.
• The relief and challenges of sharing success, responsibility, and blame with others.
• The importance of facing psychological limitations and embracing growth.

Support and Personal Growth (25:01 - 26:34)

• The role of psychotherapy and support systems in personal and professional development.
• Acknowledging the importance of seeking psychological support when needed.

Conclusion (26:34)

• Encouraging listeners to explore the benefits of adopting a "we" perspective in various aspects of their lives.
• The realization that a "we" perspective is essential for a bigger impact and requires personal growth and support.

Tune in to gain valuable insights on the journey from a "me" to a "we" mindset in leadership and discover the transformative power of collaboration and collective success in personal and professional growth.

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Resources Mentioned: 

• The Art Of We - Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: 

If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.