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All we need is love, right? In modern dating things have gotten really interesting. I recently scanned the dating apps and saw A LOT of really familiar faces. I very quickly deleted the apps because that style of connection doesn't resonate with me and never really has. As I've done the inner work and took the deep dive into personal development and relationship dynamics, I quickly had a realization that changed the way I viewed starting relationships or rather it brought me back to my goals, values, and standards for a relationship with me and what that actually looks like. I was a teenager in the late 1900's and we did things like talk on the phone and had to wait a week to see each other with no conversation in between. Can you imagine!!! Not having any connection from the time, you set a date to the time you had the date??? That's unheard of today. Instead, we text 24 / 7 and have whole conversations all the while creating the meaning behind those messages in our heads. You don't even know this person yet. It gives a false sense of intimacy and closeness, but it's built off of your own emotions and meaning. We have lost the art of connection. So many people now will avoid a phone call because it makes them feel a certain way but THAT is connection! They prefer to text, private message, chat, or snap but the emotion that brings up isn't real. That's emotion you are assigning to that experience and that person based on your past experiences. They make you laugh via a meme that they didn't create or put any effort into, yet we will create the story about that person in our heads that they are funny. The meme is funny, they may end up only being slightly funny, or even not funny at all! They just know what makes them laugh and thought it would make you laugh as well. So in a way, you are connecting, and they acknowledge what is funny to you but still there is low to no effort being exerted. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Do you know your goals, values, and standards for a relationship? Have you taken the time to write down what you are looking for? Have you take the time to do the inner work so you can become ALL of those things yourself? A few key takeaways to remember Your attachment style isn't fixed. You can heal your attachment style Professional help, coaching, and other modalities are available to help you heal Take what resonates with you and leave what doesn't The key to healing is Self-Love, learning to trust yourself, and learning to let go of what no longer serves you! Make sure you check out my links below for all my other content! https://stan.store/Jbirdfit Additional Resources: Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller The Power of Attachment by Diane Heller It's Not Me It's You By John Kim The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest The Origins of You by Vienna Pharaon

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5 Steps to Finding Purpose Understand yourself: Take time to reflect on your beliefs, emotions, and past experiences. Journaling and meditation can be helpful tools to gain a deeper understanding of yourself. A great question to start with is, "Who am I?" Hint: You are more than your job or family title. Identify your highest self: Think about the person you want to become and what qualities and characteristics define that person. Make a conscious effort to work towards becoming that person. Identify your values: Determine what is truly important to you and align your actions and relationships with those values. Seek out supportive relationships: Surround yourself with people who support and align with your goals and values. Continuously seek knowledge and inspiration: Reading books, listening to podcasts, and taking courses on personal development can provide valuable insights and tools to help guide your journey towards finding your purpose. If you're interested in learning more about Life and Breath Coaching as well as the 21 Self-Love Challenge, then check out my Stan Store! https://stan.store/Jbirdfit

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In today's world there are tons of FITNESS programs out there to choose from, but it can be intimidating if you don't currently work out or have a fitness ROUTINE like running, spin class, or CrossFit but this is your opportunity to reignite your motivation, discipline, and to take your personal POWER back! The NUMBER 1 place you are going to make the biggest difference in your health and wellness is in the KITCHEN. I can tell you as a former chef who oversaw multiple kitchens in hotels, resorts, corporations and sports arenas that what you CONSUME physically, mentally, and emotionally has a direct impact on your overall health. There was period of in my life when I would eat a tube of chocolate chip cookies in one sitting, and I wouldn't think twice about it until I started having different types of health issues that led me to start QUESTIONING what was going on. Am I getting old? Is this my new way of living? How did I get here? Is there anything I can do to CHANGE this? Why do I feel sad, angry, frustrated, and depressed all the time? These thoughts, feelings, and emotions were the CATALYST in my own life that PROPELLED me into a new way of living....for a while. When you try to do too many new things at one time it is easy to become OVERWHELMED. When you become overwhelmed you go right back to the HABITS and EMOTIONS that keep you feeling STUCK because they are the most FAMILIAR. You may find yourself doing really well on a diet plan but two weeks in you have a semi-significant life event that totally derails your progress, and this is when the negative self-talk starts. It happened again, I never finish anything, I can't do this, this is too hard, or the most difficult to overcome, "I give up!" This is why it's important to start slow and build on your new HABITS. As you CREATE and CELEBRATE your small WINS each day you become more confident, capable, and believe that you can ACCOMPLISH whatever your next goal is. You are now developing RESILIENCE and EMOTIONAL FORTITUDE in the face of doing hard things! CONGRATULATIONS! Right now, is a great OPPORTUNITY to take an inventory of your cabinets. With your current KNOWLEDGE and experience what type of foods do you think are problematic for you? If you are unsure, take a week or two and write down everything that you eat in a day to include your portion size. This will help create AWARENESS around what type of food you eat but I also want you to write down what you are FEELING in that moment. I know exactly what I was FEELING and what I was going through when I turned to the tube of cookies but more on FOOD RELATIONSHIPS later in the program. A great way to START back into a fitness routine is by walking! I know it sounds stupid simple because it is. You don't have to buy any equipment except a solid pair of shoes, and you are on your way. Eventually you will start doing research on zero platform shoe and the benefits of spending more time BAREFOOT. That is definitely worth a Google search! For now, let's focus on the basics and WALK it out!

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If you are new to MEDITATION, I want you to know that you don't need any fancy new tools, equipment, or candles but I can tell you as you become more COMFORTABLE you will see the benefit of having a cushion, candle, and some high vibration music or your favorite YouTube meditation. I cannot link a meditation in here because the link keeps changing due to copyright but if you look up 15 Minute Morning Meditation by Joe Dispenza you should be ablet to find it on YouTube. As the link changes I will post it in the Facebook group! What is MEDITATION good for? Here are my top reasons for meditating! Reduce Feelings of Stress - This is probably the primary reason you are willing to try meditation in the first place. You feel stressed! Reduce Feelings of Anxiousness - This is the second reason most people give meditation a try BUT you have to remain CONSISTENT with this practice to receive the maximum benefit. Improve Emotional Health - Whenever you begin a physical, mental, or emotional practice a potential natural byproduct is better emotional health. Increase Self-Awareness- Meditation gives you an opportunity to close the door on your external environment and go inward. A place where don't often feel comfortable going for long because old thoughts, feelings, and emotions pop up! Increase Mindfulness- When the mind drifts allow it to happen. Journal what is coming up for you. Over time those thoughts, feelings, and emotions will lose their impact as you allow yourself to feel the FEELINGS. Move you into your Parasympathetic Nervous System- They call this your rest, digest, and calm. This is a place we want to be able to go to whenever we have big emotions, stress, or feelings of anxiety pop up. This is a good opportunity to move into our breathwork practices. Always Available to you and FREE I want to say CONGRATULATIONS and I am proud of you for making it through the first week of the challenge! Make sure you leave a comment below about your experience so far!

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Welcome to Day 5! Raising Your Vibration can be confusing at first with all the chaos going on in your life right now and sound out of balance or alignment but let's break it down a little further. ​“Everything is ENERGY and that is all there is to it. Match the FREQUENCY of the reality you want, and you cannot help but get that REALITY. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics” ~Albert Einstein. I believe that we are all ENERGY and that everything in our life has a DOMINANT VIBRATION. Your dominant vibration is the way you think, act, and feel most often. Ask yourself, what do you think of the most? Worry Fear Anxiousness Uncertainty / Doubt Anger When you CHANGE your PERSPECTIVE and begin to see yourself as an INFINITE being having a limited human experience it sets you FREE from your current state of feeling STUCK. You have been given an OPPORTUNITY to be here on this Earth for a FINITE amount of time. YOU get to CHOOSE how you spend that time daily! Sadly, many of us ALLOW our thoughts, feelings, and emotions to be tied to things that are outside of us and it's those ENERGETIC ties that keep us feeling stuck and powerless. A great example of being in a HIGH VIBRATIONAL state is going to the beach. Imagine walking up to the beach entrance from the hot concrete sidewalk and hitting the sand for the first time. You can feel the soft hot sand in between your toes and as your feet begin to sink further into the sand you can feel how cool it is just beneath the surface. Now, walk down to the shoreline where you can hear the waves crashing just a short distance away from you. The seagulls are flying above you letting out their high-pitched call and you close your eyes and allow the waves to slowly creep up and over your feet. The water is cool and refreshing and as the water is pulled back into the ocean you can feel your worries, fears, and anxiety being pulled away with it. You have just moved from your sympathetic nervous system of fight, flight, or freeze into your parasympathetic nervous system of rest, digest, and heal. Any time you need a reminder of a CALMING experience you can always move into your imagination or VISUALIZATION and allow yourself to feel that experience in the NOW! This is also an opportunity to begin to write a new story. While visualizing, allow the emotions to come up for you and wash them away each time the ocean creeps slowly over your feet and pulls the negativity away. This is you LETTING GO of what no longer serves you! Top 10 Ways to Raise Your Vibration 1. Gratitude - Showing gratitude for all things in your life. Knowing that everything is temporary, and that people will be a lesson or a blessing in your life, be thankful for both! 2. Service to Self / Service to Others - This is great when you struggle to find PURPOSE, but you have to determine what you need. When you serve yourself, you are looking to improve areas of your life and focus inward which allows you to also serve others in return. When you are your best self the people in your life get to benefit and receive all you have to offer to them. You become the LIGHT. 3. Food & Alcohol - This is always a difficult subject but lean into eating foods that make you feel good and don't be afraid to ask for help from a professional who can help you achieve your goals. Limiting or eliminating alcohol will greatly improve so many different areas in your life to include the way you think, act, feel, and even your sleeping patterns. 4. Fitness / Go for a Walk - A daily fitness routine or simply going for walk will make massive improvements in your life. A 10-minute walk daily is good for you, cardio vascularly, and will help you RESET your mindset. If you are feeling stressed or having a mental block a 10-minute walk has the POWER to give you the reset that you need! 5. Forgiveness / Setting Boundaries - Forgiveness of self and others! When you forgive the past, you allow yourself to start living in the PRES

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I began practicing breathwork in 2020 at a low point in my life with high stress. I found myself not sleeping well, I was tired all the time, and had an overwhelming feeling of anxiousness. Remember, it's not I am anxious" it's "I feel anxious". I've been anxious my whole life but didn't know that was the feeling I was experiencing. I thought the feeling of anxiousness and overthinking was normal. Then I discovered the work of Joe Dispenza, started MEDITATING, and realized I could overcome the anxiousness and the overthinking. I went down the spirituality rabbit hole and that led me to neuroplasticity, breathwork, binaural beats, and learning about the reticular activating system and nervous system regulation. I even found a breathwork certification online and became certified in XPT Performance Breathing. Through all my research, reading, podcasts, and audibles I was introduced to Wim Hof who is known on social media as the ICE MAN. Wim's story is compelling and his pain became his purpose. To train you to become more RESILIENT to the daily stress you experience through BREATH. If you are ready to jump in let's figure out your BOLT score. Determining Your BOLT Score Body Oxygen Level Test (Bolt) which determines how quickly do you get breathless during physical activity. Even think about how quickly you become breathless when taking a flight of stairs and you consider yourself in great shape, but you can still gas out quickly. Directions: Make sure you are in a seated position and in a safe space. Normal breath in through the nose. Normal breath out through the nose. Then pinch the nose. Set your stopwatch on your phone, watch, or other device When you feel the first indication to breath release your nose and go back to breathing normally. A low BOLT score of 10 seconds means you will gas out sooner during physical activity A high BOLT score of 30 seconds or greater means you have good breathing technique As you apply breathwork in your daily routine and begin to regulate your breathing dysfunction you will increase your CO2 tolerance and increase your BOLT score. Which means less breathlessness or gassing out early in a workout!

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Tony Robbins famous quote, "Change your thoughts, change your life". An important aspect of that quote is understanding that you are not your thoughts. Another quote, "No one will choose you unless you choose you!" Take a look at the people in your life. How are they showing up in your life? Are they givers? Takers? How do they make your nervous system feel? Anxious, Stressed, or Angry? Sad, Frustrated, or Depressed? We need to pay attention to HOW people make you FEEL. What is one thing you can do today to change your relationships? Do you need to set a healthy boundary with an intrusive parent? Do you feel unseen, unheard, and unappreciated by your spouse? If you're single, are you dating the same type of person over and over again? This applies to our friendships and co-workers as well. Your relationships have the power to impact your STORY in a POSITIVE or negative way. Those relationships can also keep you from moving the needle FORWARD in your own life! If you are ready to set HEALTHY boundaries and start saying NO to what no longer serves you then let's start rewriting your story! How do we rewrite our story? 1. Pattern Recognition- What are the bad HABITS or patterns of behavior that you would like to change and why? What is this habit causing you to experience? If you were to change that habit how would that make you feel? Once you recognize what you would like to change the next question is what will replace that bad habit? When I stopped smoking, I first used gum to help kick the bad habit and eventually worked my way through the bad habit and was able to stop chewing gum as well. 2. Journal - Journaling is an important piece of rewriting your story. When you write things down it sends different signals to the brain and solidifies the content of the information. While journaling you can talk about how you feel and how you would like to feel as well as the difficulties you are experiencing. As you write out the negative feelings it will feel like you are releasing them from your heart. 3. Prepare for the Worst! - As you write your new story, wire in new habits, and set healthy boundaries the people in your life will begin to test and reject your new narrative. Your friends that smoke will offer you that cigarette. Your family members will tell you to go ahead and have that slice of cake even though you already told them you are on a diet and need their support. Understand, they aren't doing this intentionally, but they can't break their own habits and it seems harsh but if you have never made changes before, they may not believe you can do it. Please know it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own limited mindset and beliefs. They simply don't believe they can do it so you can't either.

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Today....right NOW....is a great OPPORTUNITY to take massive action towards your goals and make another CHANGE! The reason many people aren't successful when they begin to make changes in their life is because they go from 0 to 60 mph with their goals. The DESIRE is there, The PASSION is there, but that MOMENTUM quickly burns out because that pace isn't sustainable. The key to making sustainable change is to take it slow. You go slow to go fast. Meaning when you slowly stack your NEW habits on top of each other you are building a solid foundation of skills and abilities that you didn't have before. The difference is those new skills are now built into your DNA, they are HABITS, they are subconscious. A good quote to remember is, "We are what we repeatedly do" Aristotle. What does it look like to stack a HABIT? Hydration is always a great place to start because most of us don't drink enough water in a day. Now, let's build the habit! Each night before you go to bed fill a 1-liter water bottle up and put it on your nightstand. Then make a COMMITMENT to yourself that you will drink that entire water bottle before you leave your bedroom for the next 30 days. You can track each day in your journal and be accountable to yourself. When you make a promise to yourself and keep it you will feel more confident building on top of that habit. Remember, your journey is unique to you and there will be days where you negotiate with your mind to NOT drink the water. You'll tell yourself...I don't want to, I'm so tired, I'm not even thirsty, and that is the self-sabotage kicking in, but you have been there before. NOT THIS TIME! This is the last time you give up on yourself! On the hard days I want you to tell your mind, "Stop, I'm drinking my water" "We aren't talking about that today". Don't worry, we all talk to ourselves whether you realize it or not. It's time to narrate your story differently! CHALLENGE! When you get up each day make a COMMITMENT to making your bed every day without fail. There is a substantial mental health benefit to making your bed each day. You'll feel more Accomplished Reduced Anxiety Better Sleep Improved Focus Higher Productivity Empowered

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One of the biggest hacks I can give you to eliminate LIMITING BELIEFS and take your power back is to journal regularly and take notes when you hear something that resonates with you. Journaling works out in the real world, and I encourage you to use your notes app when inspiration strikes, when you are triggered by an event, or feel anxious. Using your notes app creates awareness around the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that keep you stuck but also the ones that lead you to a place of creation or reaching a "flow state." A flow state is simply when you feel at peace or in deep connection with your inner being and it allows you to be creative in your own way. THIS is the path to feeling joy! The first step in healing is creating awareness around your patterns of behavior, daily thoughts, or situations that leave you feeling drained or anxious. A good example is waking up in the morning and immediately reaching for your phone. Please know, you are not alone! We have all done it, but the real question is. 1. How does that make you feel? 2. How long do you stay in bed scrolling on your phone? Answer: Take a moment to answer these questions in your notebook. This one habit can produce many negative outcomes in your day. You may feel invalidated, frustrated, sad, angry, resentful, or depressed depending on what type of content you interacted with. This is where your first TRANSFORMATION begins. Make a PROMISE to yourself that you are going to start your day by leaving your phone alone for the first hour after you wake up in the morning. This is an extremely hard habit to break but I BELIEVE you can do it! At first you may feel even more anxious because you want to grab your phone. This is a great opportunity to grab your journal or a notebook and start writing about what you are feeling in that moment and why. The primary reason you want to scroll through your phone is that you desire CONNECTION. Connection is something we all desire, but do you feel more connected to yourself or less connected when you scroll through your phone? Self-Love is really about taking your power back by realizing how strong you really are. You will hear me say this throughout the program, "This is your opportunity to take your power back from the things that no longer serve you." You can apply this technique to other areas in your life and begin to think about is what I'm doing right now getting me closer to or further away from my goals?

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