Even though dads today are taking on more housework and childcare than in past generations, moms typically carry ALL the mental load for the family, a term referring to the cognitive logistics, worry, and decision-making involved in managing a household and family. The mental load can be described as an unending mental checklist that anticipates every need for the family and home. This might include strategizing meals, researching schools and the best eczema cream, remembering to schedule doctor's appointments, organizing calendars, managing the family's emotional needs, changing the bed sheets, signing Johnny up for soccer, remembering that the toilet paper is out, snacks are low, or whether you paid the babysitter last week, not to mention the endless worrying about your kids and if you're doing enough. This "invisible labor" often goes unnoticed by your partner. It's exhausting and no surprise we're dealing with an epidemic of burnout.

Today's guest, relationship expert Dr. Morgan Cutlip, PhD, has helped hundreds of thousands of people worldwide learn how to form and maintain healthy relationships. Morgan knows what it feels like to lose yourself in motherhood, and she's determined to help mothers navigate it better.

In this episode, Caitlin and Morgan talk about why carrying the mental load leads to burnout, how to start expressing our needs, and why they hate the term self-care. If that's not enough to lead you in the right direction, Morgan just wrote a book, Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself.

Follow Caitlin Murray @bigtimeadulting

Connect with Dr. Morgan Cutlip:

• @drmorgancutlip

• Free Resources at www.drmorgancutlip.com including how to talk to your partner about the mental load

• Pre-order Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself

The Big Time Adulting podcast is brought to you in part by a few of Caitlin's favorite brands & affiliate partners:

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