Big Time Adulting

The Burnout is Real


Listen Later

Even though dads today are taking on more housework and childcare than in past generations, moms typically carry ALL the mental load for the family, a term referring to the cognitive logistics, worry, and decision-making involved in managing a household and family. The mental load can be described as an unending mental checklist that anticipates every need for the family and home. This might include strategizing meals, researching schools and the best eczema cream, remembering to schedule doctor's appointments, organizing calendars, managing the family's emotional needs, changing the bed sheets, signing Johnny up for soccer, remembering that the toilet paper is out, snacks are low, or whether you paid the babysitter last week, not to mention the endless worrying about your kids and if you're doing enough. This "invisible labor" often goes unnoticed by your partner. It's exhausting and no surprise we're dealing with an epidemic of burnout.

Today’s guest, relationship expert Dr. Morgan Cutlip, PhD, has helped hundreds of thousands of people worldwide learn how to form and maintain healthy relationships. Morgan knows what it feels like to lose yourself in motherhood, and she’s determined to help mothers navigate it better.

In this episode, Caitlin and Morgan talk about why carrying the mental load leads to burnout, how to start expressing our needs, and why they hate the term self-care. If that's not enough to lead you in the right direction, Morgan just wrote a book, Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself.

Follow Caitlin Murray @bigtimeadulting

Connect with Dr. Morgan Cutlip:

  • @drmorgancutlip

  • Free Resources at www.drmorgancutlip.com including how to talk to your partner about the mental load

  • Pre-order Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself 

The Big Time Adulting podcast is brought to you in part by a few of Caitlin's favorite brands & affiliate partners:

  • Knockaround Sunglasses (use code BIGTIMEADULTING for 15% OFF) 
  • Perfect Bar 
  • The best store in the world 
  • The second best store 
...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Big Time AdultingBy Caitlin Murray

  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9

4.9

815 ratings


More shows like Big Time Adulting

View all
Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled by JLML Press

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

3,666 Listeners

The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Show by Lauryn Bosstick & Michael Bosstick / Dear Media

The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Show

14,928 Listeners

The Lazy Genius Podcast by Kendra, The Lazy Genius

The Lazy Genius Podcast

6,518 Listeners

Not Skinny But Not Fat by Dear Media, Amanda Hirsch

Not Skinny But Not Fat

6,112 Listeners

On Purpose with Jay Shetty by iHeartPodcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

27,238 Listeners

Well with Arielle Lorre by Dear Media, Arielle Lorre

Well with Arielle Lorre

4,052 Listeners

Absolutely Not by Dear Media

Absolutely Not

13,818 Listeners

Raising Good Humans by Dear Media, Aliza Pressman

Raising Good Humans

1,868 Listeners

IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson by Higher Ground

IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson

12,540 Listeners

Good Inside with Dr. Becky by Dr. Becky Kennedy

Good Inside with Dr. Becky

4,381 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

20,604 Listeners

After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings by Dear Media and Big Little Feelings

After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings

5,513 Listeners

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast by Civility Media

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast

8,054 Listeners

Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce by Wave Originals

Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce

9,964 Listeners

Good Hang with Amy Poehler by The Ringer

Good Hang with Amy Poehler

7,654 Listeners