The Cannon Canon

LET US SEE YOU STRIPPED DOWN TO THE BONE! It's Bret Easton Ellis meets Avenging Force? The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) break down the 1986 “teen” action, crime, thriller Dangerously Close! Directed by a Pre-Cyborg Albert Pyun! 

This movie is a true Cannon Canon 50/50. You will get whiplash every scene thinking "wow what a beautiful shot...that leads into a confusing plot". Almost as confusing as it's politics. This Reagan Youth Goes Avenging Force will leave you saying, "They got 2 Depeche Mode songs on this soundtrack?!" And then be blown away every scene in Cannon's answer to Deadwood by asking yourself, "Wait...what do I know that actor from? And what do I know THAT actor from?!" So many questions and one huge fish in a tiny fishbowl. By the end, you’ll want to finance our Cannon+ pitch for the Amazon MGM acquisition!

Follow us on the socials!

Twitter: @thecannoncanon

Instagram: @thecannoncanon

And join our new Patreon: patreon.com/thecannoncanon

Please rate and review us!

The Cannon Bros are taking a quick vacay. Summer is in the air and we can't stay inside just watching Cannon films. Instead we are watching them somewhere else besides our houses. But instead of taking a week off, The Cannon Bros are answering listeners questions submitted from the Patreon. And go on a few tangents pretty much immediately. And set themesleves up for a BIG project. You don't want to miss every action packed minute. 

Follow us on the socials!

Twitter: @thecannoncanon

Instagram: @thecannoncanon

And join our new Patreon: patreon.com/thecannoncanon

Please rate and review us!

MARJOE IS BACK! This month's "COULD'VE Been a Cannon" starts off with a bang...because we have a special guest! That's right the first COULD'VE with someone besides the Cannon Bros. Special guest Connor Ratliff (Dead Eyes podcast, The George Lucas Talk Show, Search Party, Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) is here to break down the 1978 Luigi Cozzi Star Wars rip off "STARCRASH". A pastiche of space action, possible Heavy Metal like robot love connections, signature Italian film ADR and oh yeah...David Hasselhoff is in this...sort of. But the BIG question of this film is... Do you love Elle as much as we all do? It's all here in STARCRASH! 

Follow us on the socials!

Twitter: @thecannoncanon

Instagram: @thecannoncanon

And join our new Patreon: patreon.com/thecannoncanon

Please rate and review us!

The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) are all goofed up from our 2nd vax and boy does it help because we're talking about 1986's Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold! Richard Chamberlin's charm does some heavy lifting, James Earl Jones earns a paid vacation, Cassandra Peterson’s talents WASTED, a High Priest with Will Ferrell-like delivery, "Ghoulie" Worms and...*sigh*...the film ruining racist caricature known as Swarma. 

It's a movie that really delivers the message...a gun is a solution to any predicament! 

Follow us on the socials!

Twitter: @thecannoncanon

Instagram: @thecannoncanon

And join our new Patreon: patreon.com/thecannoncanon

Please rate and review us!

It's Porkys meets Death Wish? One thing's for sure, this one comes with a big trigger warning! The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) are covering 1983's Young Warriors aka The Graduates of Malibu High . And joining them is the incredible Marcy Jarreau (Brooklyn 99, 90 Day Bae, A Funny Feeling). In this episode we'll cover Frat Boy Vigilantism, another gratuitous and unnecessary assault scene, the possible miscasting of Ernest Borgnine, Richard Roundtree is just...there, is our protagonist the fastest animator alive? Plus, the practicality of mesh underwear. By the end, the only thing that's clear is that the best part of this movie "Professor Party the Dog"!

Follow us on the socials!

Twitter: @thecannoncanon

Instagram: @thecannoncanon

And join our new Patreon: patreon.com/thecannoncanon

Please rate and review us!

The Cannon Bros are back covering their favorite Cannon property American Ninja with 1989's American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt! The movie that feels like a non-threatening but not very exciting stepmom. We'll explore the great mysteries of this movie like...Is David Bradley Molasses 2x4 squared? Is ninja magic still a thing in this? Did sarcastic adults do the ADR for the kids in this movie? Did The Cobra Marjoe install a dictator with the money they took from ONE martial arts tournament? WHAT exactly is the plan for their virus and what does it have to do with the best martial arts fighter? But the biggest question is...Why the f#@% isn't Steve James THE American Ninja in this?! Is the American Ninja shine starting to lose its luster?! Steve James does some heavy lifting to keep the American Ninja franchise alive in our hearts. All this, plus Banks vs Ferarri in teenage Frank and Geoff's bedrooms. You'll be shouting once again, "He is a ninja!"

Follow us on the socials!

Twitter: @thecannoncanon

Instagram: @thecannoncanon

And join our new Patreon: patreon.com/thecannoncanon

Please rate and review us!

WARNING: HARDLY ANY ACTUAL STREET FIGHTING IN THIS MOVIE! In our latest entry into "COULD'VE Been a Cannon" history, the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are covering the 1994 Jean Claude Van Damme/Raul Julia film adaption of "Street Fighter". Although really it's Street Fighter II...or SFII Alpha...or the billion variations. No matter what, there is a surprising lack of street fighting in this movie. But what they lack in the street, they make up for in needlessly confusing storylines, jammed in characters you thought you knew and the most hideous makeup this side of the Garbage Pail Kids movie. Enjoy the biggest fight in this movie: the ultimate charm of JCVD vs his total lack of caring about being in this movie. At least Raul Julia makes up for it by putting in a fantastic, quotable performance for his last role. Unfortunately, it is in...STREET FIGHTER!

Follow us on the socials!

Twitter: @thecannoncanon

Instagram: @thecannoncanon

And join our new Patreon: patreon.com/thecannoncanon

Please rate and review us!

HE CAN KICKASS ROCK AND ROLL AND YOU KNOW IT! And we ain't talking about the Cannon Bros. We are of course talking about Magic (or Live Magic?) in the 1985 "music drama" Thunder Alley. And joining us is a man SO GOOD he drives us to do drugs and live on the edge. That rockstar? John Flynn (Two Old Queens Podcast)! Take a trip to the rock capital of the world...Tucscon, Arizona? And watch the crazy rock stylings of...Leif Garrett? And ask yourself "wait..is the best song this band has written by...Toto?" We will get into all of the epic hero's quest of this young upstart rock band and all their trials and tribulations to get to our favorite festival...The Rainbow Festival? Yep, there are a lot of questions in this one. Including...is this surprisingly one of the better representations of being on the road in a movie? Listen and decide for yourself! 

Follow us on the socials!

Twitter: @thecannoncanon

Instagram: @thecannoncanon

And join our new Patreon: patreon.com/thecannoncanon

Please rate and review us!

That’s a lot to expect from Las Vegas Showgirls! The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) have traversed the simplest of obstacle courses to watch the 1986 "action" "sex-comedy" HELL SQUAD! And joining them as their demolitions expert is Jeremy Bolm (Touché Amoré , The First Ever Podcast)! On this one, we ask the hard-hitting questions like: Would Tarantino hate us and this podcast? How much driving in the desert can one person take? How can one movie make a tub of naked women unsexy? Was Scooby-Doo this film's biggest influence for the final act? The questions NEVER STOP with HELL SQUAD!

Follow us on the socials!

Twitter: @thecannoncanon

Instagram: @thecannoncanon

And join our new Patreon: patreon.com/thecannoncanon

Please rate and review us!

I don't know what Mars is and I was never there! The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) are back covering the 1980 (or '82?) Italian low-budget sort-of "Alien" rip-off "Contamination". This time we're joined by the incredible James III (Netflix's Astronomy Club, All That, Black Men Can't Jump in Hollywood podcast)! In this episode: Geoff spins around in his Italian cinema wheelhouse, spoiling your end scene monster in the opening credits, the logistics of cyclops space eggs, Goblin phoning it in and the Italian love language of the slap! Fire up the flamethrowers and turn some knobs on a cheap giant future computer prop and give it a listen! Warning: May cause random chest combustions.

Follow us on the socials!

Twitter: @thecannoncanon

Instagram: @thecannoncanon

And join our new Patreon: patreon.com/thecannoncanon

Please rate and review us!