The Cannon Canon

"You're discharged... Sarge." J(CVD)ULY heats back up with the JCVD classic, 1992's UNIVERSAL SOLDIER! 

Dolph Lundgren has the time of his life with ear puns, JCVD asks, "Is that supposed to be there?" and we get those obligatory JCVD smooth baby-oiled bunz 4 funz, y'all!

"Are we having fun yet?" You're gonna need a trunk full of bag ice to cool down after this hot episode!

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"HEY! WHO PEED IN THE POOL?!" J(CVD)ULY was getting TOO HOT, so we cool it down a bit with the JCVD (BARELY) co-star, classic NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER. A charming movie somewhere between Miami Connection and Rocky IV. A tale of some retreating and some surrendering to a mob that wants to own a franchise of dojos? 

JCVD is in this movie for a total of maybe 10 minutes and he plays a Russian? But at least you'll learn the difference between L.A., New York and Seatle karate!

OK, sure, the rules are being bent a little on this one, but our Patreon members voted and DEMANDED no retreat, no surrender on taking this movie head-on!

Summon the spirit of Bruce Lee, eat a full chocolate cake on your lawn and exclaim "I'm the best! I'M THE BEST!" IT'S NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER FOR THE CANNON BROS! 

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"Poor bastard. Tomorrow might have been a brighter day." J(CVD)ULY continues with 1994's TIMECOP! While it's a little played out to say, this movie is strangely prescient of our current time. Except for the Timecop stuff...that we know of. 

We get buns, splits, kicks and jokes that land with a thud, so you KNOW it's quality JCVD that we love. 

Afterward, you can pump that Fudge Factory, Inc on your Sony MiniDisc player!

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We take another slight detour off the Cannon track with the whole month of July dedicated to the "Muscles from Brussels" himself, Jean-Claude Van Damme! We're calling it J(CVD)ULY! This week we find ourselves in the Big Easy for 1993's HARD TARGET! 

Take a chance, like his mamma did, punchin' snakes while escaping the deadliest game and movin' in slow-mo to some "Swamp Denim" jams. We "Woo!" for Woo! And you will too! 

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When the Geoff is away, the Frank will play. It's our first ever Cannon Canon Patreon Roundtable! Patreon members Andy Puechner and Ed Harris join Frank to discuss their Top 5 Cannon Films (as well as some honorable mentions). If you'd like to join a future roundtable and have access to some episodes a month early as well as bonus content, head over to our Patreon and sign up! 

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We've been threatening it forever...and it's finally risen from its pulsating rubber grave! That's right, our "COULD'VE Been A Cannon today is SPOOKIES! 

A wild movie that is technically 2 movies? Amazing monster effects that balance out some of the head-scratching moments like WHY is there a cat guy dressed like Balki Bartokomous with a hook hand? HOW exactly are they all friends? Those awesome muck monsters are...farting? 

We love it. 

And thankfully it's available to stream on Shudder (we even recommend watching The Last Drive-In version with Joe Bob Briggs' commentary between scenes).

SPOOKIES!

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Austin Trunick RETURNS to The Cannon Canon to discuss his incredible new book The Cannon Film Guide Volume II (1985-1987)! 

We talk all things Cannon and the staggering amount of information that had to be parsed through for this massive edition. We also get a taste of what Volume III might look like and we set in stone "Austin's August Picks" where Austin will hand pick the Cannon films we cover in the month of August! 

It's a great chat that will leave you wondering, "How deep did Bronson's knowledge of The Groundlings go?!"

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"You can find me at the school". After a month of Bronson, we decided to return to an old friend (sort of), today the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) discuss 1990's (technically 1991) "American Ninja 4: The Annihilation". Dudikoff returns...45 mins into the movie. It's a sequel that's missing a bit of that "ninja magic"...and Steve James. 

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"I can carry nearly eighty gigs of data in my head." And the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) can talk 2+ hours about 1995's pre-Matrix Keanu cyberpunk flick "JOHNNY MNEMONIC"! A "COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON" picked by Patreon member Brian Armstrong! We thought it couldn't get more 90's than "Tank Girl", but Johnny Mnemonic is a Fruitopia-soaked Gateway Computer running Windows '95 while Stabbing Westward blares from your Sony Discman! It's gold, Jerry! 

Slammin' electro-hard rock soundtrack? An angry Ice T character? A talking dolphin with telepathic abilities?! Keanu being Keanu?! There's plenty here to make an argument for it being considered a "COULD'VE Been A Cannon". 

By the end, you'll understand why it boasts the tagline: "A pulse-pounding cyber-slam"!

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HE'S A SECRET FREAK! SECRET FREAK! Today the Cannon Bros are talking about a movie that is not a Cannon but could be the most Cannon non Cannon film we have watched. Of course it is Bronson's 1984 flick "THE EVIL THAT MEN DO".  From production history, to confusing plot to the Cannon Bros continuing their realization that Bronson just might have a little more kink than we give him credit for. And a hunger for scenes with food. It has it all! Except Mayonnaise BRONSON DON'T LIKE MAYONNAISE! 

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