The Cartoncast

The Cartoncast

By Ben and ZaneComedyTV & Film
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The Cartoncast episodes

  • 193 - Boomerang Bonanza
    Ben and Zane grew tired of these new-fangled modern cartoons, and longed
    for an era of simplicity. But they also didn’t want to change the channel
    from Cartoon Network. Hark, like a throwing stick, Boomerang appeared, and
    brought with it five mesmerizing spectacles: A pervert rodent; a father-dog
    barely holding it together; A horse with a gun and a tuning problem; a
    double-racist janitor; and some Italians.
    1 hr 13 min
  • 192 - The Legend of Zelda
    Hyrule was at peace, and the Cartoncasters were bored out of their
    Skulltulas. Legends told of a hero who would come and rescue them from
    their boredom, with the power of Courage the fight back the darkness. What
    they got instead was Link, a petty shitlord who just wanted to hit on the
    princess and maraud around the town. Ben and Zane enlisted James as an old
    wise man who knew of Link’s weaknesses, but it turned out that the Hero of
    Time was a totally different guy.
    1 hr 38 min
  • 191 - Totally Spies!
    Ben and Zane have had it up to here with Jerry. He’s constantly kidnapping
    them, using brainwashing or amnesia rays, and putting them in catsuits. And
    now he’s tried to introduce three young women to the Cartoncasters as if
    that makes up for it. He licked his lips and sweated as he assured them
    that the girls were all over 18. Regardless, they were too boring to even
    interact with, let alone try to objectify. Looks like we’ll have to put out
    a job opening for a new English butler.
    1 hr 21 min
  • 190 - Bootlegg'd - Akira
    It’s always satisfying to fill in a blind spot here at the Cartoncast, and
    this one was a mile wide. Akira establishes the cyberpunk genre, opened the
    doors for anime in the west - and the anime industry in Japan - and
    commented upon the timely (and timeless) themes of institutional power in a
    time of rapid evolution. No need to be psychic to judge how we felt about
    this work; it’s remarkable, and stands proudly as a pillar of the industry.
    * The Akira Slide
    * Yet again, Yankii gangs in Japan
    * Battleship Potemkin - Odessa Steps Sequence
    * The Sokovia Accords
    * The Protomen
    * The Colonel?
    * 2001 Space Odessey ending
    2 hr 7 min
  • 189 - Ask the StoryBots
    Things were not going well in the computer that houses The Cartoncast. Ben
    and Zane, you see, are dumbasses. Wikipedia was down. TvTropes was down.
    Their dictionary had long been destroyed because “it just had bad vibes
    man, y’know?” And so in desperation, they called upon the last bastions of
    knowledge. They asked the StoryBots: “Where buy snowcones?”
    1 hr 34 min
  • The Eighth Annual Cartony Awards
    Well, it’s that time again to celebrate the holiest of holidays - Cartony
    season. Sure, this past year was a bit of a struggle at times, with many
    contenders for the spot of New Ben before the original came back to claim
    his title. But amongst the strife came clarity on the true nature of Santa
    Claus (the answer may surprise you!) as well as a higher than recommended
    dose of dithering about with various guests. Join us as we debate whether
    or not most of the things this year happened.
    Our categories this year:
    * Most Interesting Nonhuman
    * Best Musical Number to Worst Episode Ratio
    * Best Santa
    * Best Boy
    * Best Intro
    * Best Adoption of an Earlier Art Style
    * Best Conspiracy Theory
    * Best Ensemble Cast
    * Best Sibling Dynamic
    * Who Would Win in a Fight?
    * Biggest Coincidence (You’re Tellin’ Me)
    * Biggest Payoff for Creative Liberties Taken
    * Best Movie
    * Best Bonus Episode
    * Best Show
    2 hr 34 min
  • 188 - Trigun
    Ben and Zane - and stay with me here guys - were doing a Jesus. I mean,
    sure, they weren’t coming back to life or healing the sick, but they did
    carry around that cross for that nice priest and his weird, hungry friend.
    They also got into some trouble with the law and were repenting for some
    sinning they did in the last town over. The Cartoncasters weren’t really
    focused on the big-picture stuff, though, or even on the shootouts that
    kept happening every other day. They were too busy submitting the proper
    forms and playing some slick air guitars for that.
    1 hr 26 min
  • 187 - The Critic
    Most of the titles that cross Ben and Zane’s desk never make it to review,
    but they felt bad about rejecting cartoons out of line. As luck would have
    it, the Critique himself, our friendly neighborhood Dane Caverns came by to
    take the worst stuff off their hands. Within an hour, the Critique had
    given the most scathing criticism he could muster to the worst offenders,
    saving Ben and Zane from doing it themselves. With his help, the
    Cartoncasters will never have to review a show and proclaim… It stinks!
    * Professional hot scientist, NDT
    * Oh shit, Key was in The Pentaverate!
    * Matt Groening is weirdly defensive about The Critic
    * Rat Race happened, and we’re all upset about it
    * David S. Pumpkins happened and we’re still confused why
    * Irresistible
    * “Peas in July” in the Critic
    * … And in Animaniacs
    * …And Maurice Lamarche doing it in a panel
    * Simpsons short stories episode… The origin of Steamed Hams
    * Mission Hill
    1 hr 22 min
  • 186 - The Powerpuff Girls
    Egads! A gigantic monster is destroying the city! Thankfully, Ben and Zane
    have a direct line to the Powerpuff Girls, after an unrelated adventure
    where they both became the mayor. A quick call was all it would take.
    However, first they had to wait and listen about Bubbles’ new self-esteem
    issue, and the Professor’s new gadget, and a talking dog they found that’s
    probably evil, and on and on and on. They didn’t mind, it was all very
    entertaining and snappy, but, you know… the town was destroyed.
    1 hr 38 min
  • 185 - Bootlegg'd - The Prince of Egypt
    The Prince of Egypt has been lauded as one of the best told animated
    biblical stories - and rightly so. Heavy subject matter has to be
    sensitively portrayed, which can be a big ask in a medium primarily geared
    toward children. It takes a rare movie to balance biblical accuracy with
    enough gentleness not to stress younger viewers, all while still managing
    to be entertaining. With all that and a surprise appearance of Jeff
    Goldblum, this film delivered us to the promised land of holiday-related
    animation.
    * Love Letter
    * Khopesh
    * ’There goes the neighborhood’
    * Homer Simpson goes through DABDA at breakneck speed
    * The Dawn of Everything
    * Why did God blow into Adam’s nostrils?
    * Could the Ten Plagues have happened?
    * The Megafrog interpretation of passover
    * ‘Allo ‘Allo!
    2 hr 6 min

About The Cartoncast

From the publisher's feed

As we describe it, this is the '8th grade lit paper' of cartoon podcasts. It involves a deliberate investigation to what makes old cartoons tick, and a healthy respect for digression. Also eggs.