There are joy killers in life and I want to talk about the keys to cultivating greater joy. Who doesn’t want more joy? And here is what is true: You were created to experience joy. So why can it feel so fleeting at times? The first joy killer is putting your joy in the wrong things.

Several years ago I read a book, Man’s Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl. One of the themes of the book is the idea that as human beings, we think we are in search of pleasure in life but what we really seek, what our hearts truly long for is purpose. We want our lives to have meaning but we can get sidetracked in the pursuit of pleasure. While life does bring pleasure and God designed us to experience it, when we chase it or base our ultimate joy and satisfaction on it, we will be depressed and sorely disappointed.

The Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes has the well-known verse, “meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless.” Ecclesiastes describes King Solomon’s account of the suffering, misery, and emptiness that came from seeking after foolishness, meaninglessness, and materialistic pursuit; and that ultimate hope and meaning is in discovering truth and seeking after God. Solomon tried the world’s brand of happiness and found it to be lacking as we hear his words in Ecclesiastes 2:1-2. “I said to myself, ‘Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.’ But that also proved to be meaningless. ‘Laughter,’ I said, ‘is madness. And what does pleasure accomplish?’”

As a King, he had all of life’s pleasures at his fingertips. Although he could have anything his heart desired, nothing he found satisfied him for the long term. Even the work of his hands, although a good and meaningful aspect of human existence, led to frustration, failure, grief, and pain. While there is an overall depressing tone to the book, Solomon’s conclusion points us to look beyond this life for our ultimate hope and that no amount of wealth, power, prestige, success, relationships or even wisdom will fully satisfy the longing of the human heart. Only Jesus can provide what nothing on this earth can deliver.

Life remains toilsome and frustrating at times, but Jesus gives meaning, purpose, and mission to those who believe and trust in him for their salvation. We do not have to follow the path of the world and seek fulfillment in things that will ultimately leave us craving for more. The joy of the world is hollow, but the joy of the Lord which comes from knowing God, abiding in Christ, and being filled with the Holy Spirit, is rich and abundant. The world’s happiness will fade but the key to cultivating true joy is to be deeply rooted in a relationship with our Savior and find our meaning in him.

Years ago I began to question the self-esteem message which was everywhere. They said you had to feel good about yourself in order to have a good life. But something in my spirit just didn’t jive with it. I couldn’t find anything like it in Scripture. I knew from Scripture that the best things I could do looked like filthy rags to God.

And furthermore, I had enough experience with me to know that I did not hold the key to my happiness. For ten years I took myself on a pursuit of self-esteem and ended up in a sinful lifestyle, unfulfilled and very frustrated. I fully got it—that trying to find joy and peace and meaning in who I am was a losing battle. And God was teaching me through his Word that my pursuit of good self-esteem was a dead-end street.

As one writer puts it: “We eventually figure out that being the star of our own show actually makes life a tragedy. When life is all about us—what we can do, how we perform—our world becomes small and smothering; we shrink. To have everything riding on ourselves leads to despair, not deliverance.” (Jesus+Nothing=Everything)

Jesus said it this way:

For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it (Matthew 16:25).

If you are a Christ-follower, the life you were meant to live is to lose your life for Jesus. Paul said: “For to me, to live is Christ.” And, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).

This completely turns the pursuit of self-esteem on its ears and gives us an entirely opposite recipe for life: Lose your life for Jesus. It’s not “Go find yourself” or “Discover the real you” or “Feel good about yourself.” It’s forget yourself! Come and discover the joy of self-forgetfulness.

When you can come to the place where life is so not all about you that you truly don’t think about yourself first and foremost all the time, you are beginning to walk in the freedom that Jesus came to give you. Believe me, there is great joy in self-forgetfulness. It’s really, really simple. But it’s really, really important. The life you were meant to live is found in forgetting about yourself.

What does it mean to lose your life for Jesus? Let me begin by saying what it does not mean. Losing your life for Jesus and forgetting about yourself doesn’t mean that you are not valuable and worthwhile. You are so valuable to God that he sent Jesus to purchase your redemption. He knows the worst about you and loves you with a love that will never cease and nothing—absolutely nothing—can separate you from his love. He knows your name, he calls you precious; he rejoices over you with singing; he delights in you. I’m not making this up—it’s all in the Bible. You are valuable because you are personally loved by the God who created the heavens and the earth.

Losing your life for Jesus doesn’t mean that you become a doormat or a victim. It doesn’t mean that you don’t take care of yourself or set boundaries or say no when appropriate. It doesn’t mean you wear long faces and ugly clothes (unless you want to!).

Here’s the best way I can describe it: Forgetting about yourself means that you put Jesus on the throne of your heart, and he’s there to stay. He becomes and remains the most important person and the most important commitment in your life. You get rid of other idols in your heart.

It means that you invest time and energy into getting to know him through his Word. It means that you truly want to help others; you truly care about others, you love others because you love Jesus and his love is spread in your heart and it overflows to others.

Losing your life for Jesus means anything you need to give up for his sake is okay with ...

There is no more effective testimony that you can have as a Christ-follower than to consistently be a joyful person. Someone has said, “Joy is the flag flying high above the castle of the heart, announcing that the King is in residence there." How’s your flag doing? Is it flying high these days, or are you allowing something or someone to steal your joy?

Well, what can you do to get that joy flag flying high over your heart again, so people will see that Jesus lives there? Here are three verses from Psalms that tell us how:

Psalm 16:11: “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Joy comes the more you are in his presence—finding joy in knowing God through Jesus and spending time each day with him—just you and God. Are you doing that? When you do, you will be filled with joy.

Psalm 19:8a: “The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.” God’s word gives joy. It’s just that simple. Reading God’s word, memorizing it, studying it—I promise, it brings joy to your heart, no matter what’s going on. So, is Bible reading a high priority on your to-do list each day? It will put joy in your heart.

Psalm 5:11: “But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.” Do you know what it means to take refuge in the Lord? It just means you run to him first when you need comfort or help or strength. He will spread his protection over you and shield you from those joy-stealers. Do you love the name of Jesus? Is it the sweetest name you know? Do you love to talk about him, sing about him; is Jesus everything to you? You will rejoice and be joyful when that is true.

It's time to unwrap that flag of joy, raise it to the top of the mast, and fly it high!

Sometimes our joy is lost because of where we allow our minds and thoughts to go.

For example, are you harboring any bitterness? Maybe it’s just a wee bit, but there it sits in your mind: that resentment and anger and self-pity that you’ve never really given over to Jesus. You try to erase it from your memory but it just keeps coming back, bringing with it all that hurt from who knows how long ago. And that bitterness starts to eat away at you again.

Maybe you thought you had forgiven them but it just keeps creeping back into your mind. Well, that’s because sometimes you have to forgive the same thing many times. When Peter asked how many times he should forgive, and suggested seven should be very generous, Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22). In other words, just forgive again, but above all else, don’t let that bitter root stay there because it will grow and cause you to be cynical and unloving. It is a major joy-stealer.

And did you realize that envy can steal your joy—the act of comparing yourself to others? When you compare yourself to others and feel envious of who they are or what they have, you are opening your door for Satan to come in and steal your joy—guaranteed. Someone has said that envy makes us root against the well-being of other people, and you can be sure that envy will leave no room for joy in your heart.

So, if bitterness or envy has found a place in your mind, you can do something about that today, this minute. By God’s grace, refuse to let those envious thoughts dwell in your mind—run them out, replace them with good thoughts, and when you get rid of them, joy will return.

We know that joy should be the trademark of a Christian. But the thing is, there is so much negativity and bad news in our world today that if you’re not careful, the enemy will steal your joy. That’s one of his favorite tactics. So, what or who has been stealing your joy?

Whatever or whoever it is, realize that it is a satanic flaming arrow coming your way, so put on your full armor and refuse to lose your joy. How? First, resist the devil as the Bible says, out loud if possible; just resist him verbally. Let him know you’re on to him, and you are not subject to his joy-stealing ways, resist his onslaught, and the Bible says he will flee from you. So, that’s step one.

Maybe you’re thinking that there really isn’t much to be joyful about: You’ve got money problems, or health issues, or there’s a relationship that’s going sour—or on and on and on. We live in a world packed full of stress and worry and trauma and discord. So, there’s plenty of joy-stealers hanging around these days.

But as Christ-followers, we are supposed to rejoice always, right? That’s what the Apostle Paul told us over and over, and believe me, he had plenty of joy-stealers in his life, too. So, being joyful has to rise above our circumstances, doesn’t it?

If you want joy in your life, first pray Psalm 51:12: “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” Remember the joy of your salvation? Remember the joy, the amazing peace, the freedom from sin that received from Jesus? Ask God to restore that joy to you.

Then, do something positive to get the joy going. Sing or hum a praise song. Just sing to yourself. I mean, actually sing good songs to yourself. Sing words into your ears and into your heart. Find the humor in your day. Laugh a lot. Then, make a list of answered prayer. Or make a list of what you have to be thankful for. Make yourself focus on the good reports instead of on the joy-stealers.

Do you ever wake up some days and just feel like everything’s wrong and nothing is right? I have those days. The joy of the Lord that we often sing about or talk about just seems to be absent. You know, when that happens, it’s a good time to just stop and ask yourself, “What is stealing my joy?”

Sometimes we let people steal our joy, don’t we? It could be that person you work with that just pushes your buttons, or makes your job more difficult, or disrespects you in some way. It could be someone you live with—a mate or family member—just people. Our lives are full of people and they often cause us lots of stress, frustrate us, and steal our joy.

What can you do when someone steals your joy—a lot? First, learn to put a shield up against their criticism or negativity or whatever it is they do or say that steals your joy. Pray in advance that God will help you shield your mind and emotions from their joy-stealing tactics. As my friend, Jan Silvious, says, picture yourself in a castle with a moat around you, and just pull up the bridge when the joy-stealer comes your way. You may not be able to avoid them, but you can shield your mind from them.

Also, don’t spend any more time than you have to with joy-stealers. Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Choose your companions carefully. Certainly we never treat anyone unkindly or arrogantly, but it is important that we avoid people who continually try to steal our joy.

It’s important to pray for those people in your life who are difficult. Ask God to help you understand why they are the way they are—to see them as God sees them. When you can look beyond their behavior and have some understanding of what lies behind it, you may be amazed at how that changes your feelings and actually gives you compassion so that they just can’t steal your joy any longer, even if they never change.

If you could measure joy—how joyful you are—any guess what score you would get? Have you been joyful much lately?

Well, there is no way to measure just how joyful you are, but you surely know when you’re not joyful, right? So, my question is, “What is stealing your joy?” We know from Galatians 5 that joy is part of the fruit of the Spirit—evidence that the Spirit of God indwells you. So, as Christ-followers, joy should be our trademark. But too often it seems like joy is very elusive. One day we get a flash of joy, but life seems to steal our joy so easily, and it can seem pretty bleak.

Could it be that guilt or shame is stealing your joy? Do you beat yourself up a lot because you keep dwelling on how you don’t measure up? Maybe you are ashamed of something in your past, or feeling guilty because you blew it yesterday? Well, here’s some good news for you, as someone has said, Jesus doesn’t follow you around with a scorecard. He’s not making a list and checking it twice—no way. Jesus wants you to live in freedom from your past, freedom for sins that have been forgiven.

I love this verse from Isaiah 61:7: “Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.” Of course, this was written to the people of Israel, but it applies to us as well. Jesus is your friend as well as your Savior, and he wants to give you a double portion of his grace and replace that disgrace, that shame you’re carrying around with his everlasting joy.

In Hebrews we read that Jesus endured the cross and scorned its shame for the joy that was set before him. He scorned the shame of the cross—he rejected that scorn, he refused it—so that you as his child can refuse the shame that is stealing your joy.

I just want to encourage you to refuse to let the enemy steal your joy. That is his modus operandi—he’s a thief and a robber. What can you do? Sing songs of praise; recite all you have to be thankful for; tell someone about Jesus. Stand up to the enemy and resist him by faith; he’ll give up pretty quickly in the face of praise, and the joy of the Lord can again be your strength.

If self-discipline could be measured, would you measure up? I’ve been reminding you that being a disciplined person is essential for success, and it certainly is a requirement for us as followers of Jesus Christ. Discipline is a spiritual issue. We will be accountable to the Lord for the use of our time, our skills and our resources, and you have to be disciplined to do that well.

I read this recently: “Stop looking for ways to boost your motivation. Success doesn’t come from having more motivation. It comes from doing what you need to do, even if you don’t have the motivation to do it. It’s called DISCIPLINE.”

This says that discipline must be imposed in our lives whether we feel like it or not. If your discipline depends on the mood you’re in, or whether you got a good night’s sleep or not, or if you just don’t feel so good, you will be a very sporadically disciplined person—on and off; hot and cold; inconsistent. As I said before, “Discipline is the ability to make yourself do something you don’t want to do in order to get a result you really want to get.”

Hebrews 12:11 says: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Becoming a more disciplined person means you will have a more peaceful life and the fruit of discipline will make you more mature in your faith. Discipline comes in many forms but any time you decide to be more disciplined in some needed area, you will grow spiritually and you will be more pleasing to the Lord.

If you need lots of discipline in your life, take baby steps—one thing at a time—because as you are successful in one area, you will want to be successful in others as well. You have much to look forward to—much peace and joy—as you become more and more disciplined in your life. So, choose the pain of discipline and not the pain of regret.

Though it may sound too good to be true, I assure you there is joy in putting needed disciplines in your life. But like everything that is worthwhile, it takes some commitment and work on our part. I remind you that we must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

I want to mention two good work habits that will go a long way toward making you successful:

Being on Time

Do you have difficulty being on time? Maybe it’s because you don’t get up early enough—which we talked about earlier. If your morning routine is rush, rush, rush because you don’t get out of bed until the last minute, then you see how lack of discipline in one area spills over to other areas of your life. And being habitually late does not show a Christ-like thoughtfulness of others and their time.

Whatever excuses you have come up with to justify always being late, if you’re willing to become disciplined, you will greatly reduce the stress in your life. We perpetuate most of our stress by our lack of discipline, and this is one of those examples of unnecessary stress caused by tardiness.

Put some reminders in place; set your phone or watch to remind you when you need to be on time. Figure out what you have to do to break this bad habit and impose that discipline on yourself. Do it for a week and see what a difference it makes. You’ll be hooked.

Keeping Promises and Commitments

This is the second good work habit that will make a difference. The Bible says: “Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful” (1 Corinthians 4:2).

When you make a promise or commitment, others are trusting you to keep it—right? So, you must prove faithful—not an option. In Ecclesiastes we read: "It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it" (Ecclesiastes 5:5). Another way to put that is “Under promise and over deliver.” Promise keeping requires discipline. It takes carefully keeping a record of whatever you’ve promised to do, and then just doing it as you promised. Simple, but it takes discipline and it will give back great rewards when you do. You’ll be happy—joyful—that you were disciplined.

I know it’s not your favorite topic but the importance of being disciplined is one of the most important keys to your success in life. I read this somewhere: “The undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and passions.” Wow, that’s rather strong, isn’t it? But there’s truth in it. This is how the Bible puts it in Proverbs 5:22-23:

“The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast. For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly.”

That’s pretty strong, I would say. It says that lack of discipline holds you fast in the cords of sin and can cause death. Obviously, being a disciplined person is a spiritual issue for us as Christ-followers.

A discipline that impacts your success is eliminating the bad habit of procrastination. You know, putting off until tomorrow what you should do today. Does that ring a bell with you?

I don’t have to explain the problems you create for yourself when you procrastinate, right? Things pile up, you miss critical deadlines, and when you finally get around to doing what you’re supposed to do, you’re in such a rush you do a bad job. And that’s just for starts.

Here is a sure-fire cure for procrastination. Ready? Whatever you have to do today that you don’t want to do, do it first! I promise it works because it has worked for me for years. It’s simple and it works. Now, I know you can’t always do that dreaded thing first but do it as soon as you can. Get it behind you. It sets you free for the rest of the day.

And here’s another suggestion: Take a big job and break it into small parts, put a time frame for each part and then do one small piece at a time. When a job is big, it discourages you because it looks like mission impossible. But you can succeed one piece at a time.

So, I want to encourage you not to be a slave to procrastination. You won’t believe how good you’ll feel when you get those things done that you really don’t want to do—and you do it right. Just do it now and do it right. You’ll be glad you did.