What is the best gift you ever received?

I love gifts, especially the ones I know were specifically curated just for me! Like, the person giving me the gift saw it and it had my name on it. Have you ever received a gift that made you feel known, special, loved?

One of my favorite gifts is from my friend Audra. She is the best gift giver. In fact her gift giving game is so strong it puts mine to shame! Last Christmas I unwrapped a package that came in the mail, (the fact that I had something to open other than junk mail was in itself exciting). It was a beautiful navy blue journal with a gold coil and gold foiled lettering. The writing on the front cover was a prayer that read: “Lord, I give you this day. I pray for productivity and patience, creativity and kindness. Thank You for the gifts You have blessed me with. I ask that you would give me wisdom to use them to their fullest. I pray that these efforts would be a testament to Your goodness and that all the glory would be Yours.”

I wanted you to hear what was engraved on the cover of the journal because those words, that gift, made me feel seen and known. If you know me, as my dear friend of 20 years does, you would know that the words on the cover of that journal would speak to my heart. That gift made me feel loved.

As we continue in this month’s theme of love, let’s take a look at what 1 Corinthians 13 instructs us on this powerful gift. The gift of love that we have received by faith in Jesus Christ and that we get to give generously to others.

These verses may be familiar to you and we usually hear them spoken at weddings. Yet they aren’t just reserved to be lived out between husband and wife, they are meant to speak to the heart condition and be the overflow of every follower of Jesus.

Just prior to chapter 13 of first Corinthians, the Apostle Paul has just spent the previous chapter talking about the different gifts that The Holy Spirit gives to every believer. Paul says that while receiving and utilizing these spiritual gifts for the benefit of others is to be desired, the best way to live and benefit others is with love. Even when compared to all of the other spiritual gifts, love is the most important thing. Or as Paul says—the most excellent way.

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1Corinthians 13:1-8)

Those words are so rich with truth. We see that Paul is making some pretty clear call outs on how love does and doesn’t act. Paul is calling us up to who we are in Christ and reminding us to love like Jesus.

You and I could speak with tongues of angels but if we are not being love to those around us we are like a resounding gong or clanging symbol. I have to say, I have sounded like a noisy gong and clanging symbol all too many times when my words and actions have lacked love. Can you relate?

It’s not just our actions that show love. You can do all of the right things but if your attitude, if our disposition and words are not soaked in and dispensing love it’s worthless. Love is not just about doing the right thing, it’s about being the most excellent thing. Now who does not want to be loved like that!

I’ve made the point that Christ-followers should never be a part of this negative movement. Even though our faith is often maligned or disrespected, we should respond to those who insist on being offended in a compassionate and gentle way.

Jesus told his disciples: “You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved” (Matthew 10:22). That was his challenge to us when we are offended—to stand firm to the end. We need to be prepared to process offensive, harmful, and hurtful language without responding in kind.

Feeling offended is a choice. You choose whether or not you will allow someone or something to offend you because it is a feeling and you have the power to entertain it or dismiss it. Remember our key verse from Proverbs 19:11—it is to our glory to overlook an offense. And it also sets us free from self-pity, anger, and all kinds of unnecessary pain when we overlook an offense.

So, as a Christ-follower, what can you do when you are offended to deal with those bad feelings, because there’s no question that those feelings do emerge? Whining or complaining is certainly unhelpful and makes things worse. Talking about how you’ve been offended with like-minded people won’t solve anything, right? The interesting thing is, when you or I are offended, we like to wallow in those hurtful feelings; we like to feel sorry for ourselves, even though it’s a miserable place to be.

Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Seems to me that would mean holding our tongues at those points where we may feel offended, and when we feel it necessary to respond, do so in gentle and loving ways. You can be the voice of peace and healing in your world, even in the midst of an offended culture.

If you would like to read the entire week’s message, click here to view/download the PDF.

I’ve been encouraging you not to be a part of the “I am offended” culture, but also not to be intimidated by it. It’s easy to allow this invasive culture to cause us to keep our mouths shut when we should speak out, causing us to be fearful that we won’t be accepted by others. Don’t you know that the enemy of our soul delights in using this "offendedness" syndrome to cause us to retreat into our holy huddles and keep our mouths shut?

Consider a time when Jesus offended some people. In confronting the Pharisees and teachers of the law about their hypocrisy in Matthew 15:12, the disciples came to Jesus and said: “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?” The disciples were shocked that Jesus would openly speak against their religious rulers, knowing they were powerful and could do Jesus harm. I can imagine them taking Jesus aside and advising him that his criticism of the Pharisees was really dangerous. They figured he somehow didn’t get it—didn’t realize that he was offending the Pharisees, for surely he wouldn’t do that intentionally.

Listen to how Jesus responded: “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. Leave them; they are blind guides. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit” (Matthew 15:13). Here’s what Jesus is saying: If the Pharisees and their teachings are not from God, not according to the truth, then they won’t last and their teachings won’t last. Just let them alone. Don’t waste time trying to change them or please them. They are blind leading blind and eventually they will be exposed and they will fail.

Truth always trumps error, so there will be times when speaking the truth—yes, even speaking the truth in love—will be offensive to someone. Those are the times we must be ready to give a defense for the hope that is in us, as Peter puts it, and to do that reverently and gently. So, when we need to speak truth that may be offensive to others, we do it in a humble spirit with as gentle words as possible, but we don’t shrink from doing it, even if we are criticized for offending others.

So, while we are never to be part of the “I am offended” culture, we are likewise never to be hesitant to speak truth and always in a loving spirit.

I’m addressing the “I am offended” culture which is rampant today. Let me say that if you and I want to live in a free society, if we want the advantages that the Bill of Rights grants to us—free speech, freedom of religion, free press, etc.—then we have to accept the fact that we will not agree with nor approve of many things that are expressed.

Our country—our civilization—is at its best when as individuals or groups, we try to avoid unnecessary "offendedness" and recognize that being offended at times is the price we pay for the right to our freedoms—our right to express our beliefs and spread the Gospel. Think of people who live in countries without freedom of speech. They probably don’t have to deal with this “I am offended” culture we face, but then, they put their lives in danger if and when they publicly share their faith. So, we need to carefully guard our freedoms because they allow us to tell the good news of Jesus and not let this offended culture intimidate us or make us fearful.

As believers we don’t want to be defined by what we are not, but rather by what and who we are. We are loved by God, we are joint-heirs with Jesus, we are joyful, we are hopeful, we are positive and upbeat because of who we are in Christ. That should be our story to the world around us, even if that world is trying to offend us or cancel us. Of course we take a stand against evil and wrong—such as abortion—and do all we can to eliminate it. But we take those positions and express our opinions because we have the freedom to do so, which means others have the freedom to oppose us. But as Paul wrote to the Romans, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31).

Don’t you think it’s important for us not to be easily offended—not to take everything personally? I’m not talking about laying down and letting people walk on you, but simply deciding not to react to every offensive thing you see or hear. Again, from Proverbs 19:11, it is to our glory to overlook an offense.

So, my encouragement to you is to avoid being a part of the “I am offended” culture and instead determine to be agents of God’s love and peace. In a world becoming more and more divided and hateful, looking for reasons to be offended and waiting for the opportunity to try to bring someone else down, we have the glorious privilege of demonstrating how Jesus would respond, showing his compassion and love even to those who offend us.

Are you part of the “I am offended” culture? Being offended is a choice you make; it is often self-inflicted suffering. But we are more and more surrounded by highly-offendable people, who seem eager to take offense at most anything. And let’s face it—social media has given them the platform to air their offendedness wide and far.

So, how should a Christ-follower respond to the offended culture that is all around us—in our institutions and schools, social media abounds with it, and it even creeps into the church. First, we should never be a part of it, either as the one easily offended or the one trying to offend. Jesus said, “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.  And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.” (Matthew 5:39 – 41).

Jesus is not advocating that we subject ourselves to abusive behavior, but he is saying that if you will be willing to break the cycle, to be the one who refuses to return an offense for an offense, you can stop this hurtful cycle at least in your spheres of influence. If you actively take offense and get involved in the back and forth, you become part of the problem. Christians should be part of the solution.

This “I am offended” culture is demanding perfection of everyone—except themselves, of course. And if they discover anything in a person’s present or past which they can define as offensive, then the next thing is to try to cancel that person, leading to the cancel culture. The Psalmist said, “If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand?” (Psalm 130:3). None of us would have any recourse to the Lord if he kept a record and constantly reminded and condemned us for our past. And if he can forgive us so freely and remember our sins no more, then as his followers, we should avoid this culture of laying blame and being offended.

It is sad to find so many social media conflicts between Christians. Jesus said if you have something against someone, you go to them in person, you don’t publicize it and re-send it and send copies to everyone you know. If you find something offensive, don’t share it with others.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that people these days are very easily offended. In fact, you hear people talk about the “I am offended” culture or the “easily offended” culture. Sadly, many think they have the right to be offended about almost anything, and if they are offended, everyone else must affirm their right to be offended and make drastic changes to keep from offending them.

All that is necessary for a claim to be taken seriously is for the claim to be offered. After all, being offended is an emotional state or response, so how can you deny that the person who claims to be offended has not been genuinely offended? And as Christians we can fall into this same pattern of claiming to be offended when we face opposition to or criticism of our beliefs.

Now obviously, there are legitimate times when people offend others, but the term “offended” has been taken to new levels these days, instead of maybe “bothered” or “disagreed.” So, living in this “I am offended culture,” how should we as Christ-followers respond?

First, let’s establish that having hurt feelings or allowing someone to offend you is a choice, and it is often self-imposed mental cruelty. Why allow others to be in charge of your feelings? Proverbs 19:11 says, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” There is no glory in being offended, no status to be gained. In fact, someone who is easily offended is most likely very insecure in who they are.

So, first, those of us who are believers should be firmly established in who we are in Christ, and therefore not be threatened by this “I am offended” movement. We live in a diverse culture and we believe in freedom of speech, therefore, being offended is simply part of life at times. For example, we’ve seen a continued effort to remove all symbols of Christianity from the public square because they offend some people. However, those who claim to be offended are not actually harmed in any factual way, but rather are allowing themselves to be put in an emotional state just because they are confronted with someone else’s beliefs.

So, the first thing I want to say about this “I am offended culture” is that as Christ-followers, it should not include us. Jesus told us that in this world we will have persecution—we would be offended. He certainly was but he knew who he was and what he came to do. We, too, can follow in his steps to have the wisdom to overlook many offenses and simply not react to them.

In this two-part message about broken relationships, we took an in-depth look at what Jesus told us to do when we find ourselves dealing with a wounded relationship. Let me again quote from Matthew 5:23 - 24:

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Jesus gives us very explicit directions—not suggestions, but directions—on our responsibility to try to be reconciled to someone who has something against us. I pointed out that this is a high priority and we should not put it off. Jesus said it’s so important that you should leave your religious duties undone, if necessary, and go find that person with whom you need to be reconciled. And he teaches us that we are to initiate this action, if at all possible, even if we are not the guilty party.

Being reconciled to others is so important. It’s important to us and the other person involved. But it’s also important to our testimony for Jesus Christ. How harmful it is when people who both claim to be disciples of Jesus Christ refuse to be reconciled. Just recently I learned of two well-known people in Christian ministry who refuse to be reconciled, and indeed seem to be carrying a vendetta against each other. That just boggles my mind. How could any of us be so proud or so stubborn that we are unwilling to at least try to mend these broken relationships? It is in direct disobedience to the teaching of Jesus, as we’ve just read.

It may be that there is someone in your life who refuses your desire to reconcile, even though you’ve really tried. Please make sure that you are not carrying around some load of false guilt because the relationship is still broken or wounded. Keep praying, doing whatever you can to mend it, but God doesn’t want you to live under a cloud of guilt if you have truly tried to reconcile. Remember that sometimes the best healer is time, so give it even more time and just keep praying. Never give up asking God to restore that relationship.

Now what approach should you use with someone with whom you are seeking reconciliation? While we are to speak the truth, it is always to be done in love. So, your approach is important. Make sure you’re “prayed up” before you go, ask God to give you pure motives and to be very sensitive to the other person’s feelings and understand their perspective, as much as you can.

If possible, you want to have this conversation in person. That is highly preferable, but if that is not possible, use Facetime or Zoom or however you can best communicate. How you begin the conversation is critical, so I would not recommend that you begin by repeating all the mistakes the other person has made, nor defending yourself and explaining why you are not at fault. Nor is this the time to recite how you have been hurt or harmed, or to lecture the other person.

Rather, it is the time to lovingly accept blame for whatever you have done that has contributed to the bad feelings and talk about what you are willing to do to mend the relationship. Keep in mind that reconciliation is not for the purpose of airing your grievances; it is rather to cease hostility. Anything that might cause hostility to increase or continue should not be a part of your efforts to reconcile.

I find it’s always helpful to carefully plan my words for these types of conversations, even writing it out so that I think ahead of time of the best way to begin. Your choice of words can make a big difference in the response you receive so don’t choose finger-pointing or condescending words. Rather choose words that do not seek to place blame, but rather seek to find common ground.

By writing it ahead of time, even though you’re not planning to read it,

We need an attitude of gratitude. We can capture that kind of attitude by recovering the wonder of God.

I talked about the wonder of your salvation and the wonder of God’s creation. Don’t lose the wonder!

Have you lost the wonder of your uniqueness? So often we forget who we are in Christ and the wonder of how God has created us. David wrote:

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:13-14)

You are made full of wonder; have you ever really appreciated the wonder of who you are? Right now, list the things about you that are unique. You may be a wonderful listener; you could be a great encourager; maybe you are a gifted writer or speaker; or you could have the gift of joy that you bring to others. I love helpers—people who are just there to help in any need. That's wonderful! If that’s you, say so. Thank God for who you are.

Have you lost the wonder of Jesus? In Mark 9:15 we read: "As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him.” When was the last time you were "overwhelmed with wonder" because of Jesus?

Recapture the wonder of Jesus. Go back into that first love, that awestruck wonder that Jesus came to earth for you, died for you, rose again for you, and ever lives to make intercession for you. If that's not wonderful, I don't know what is!

This Thanksgiving season is a great time to recover the wonder:

-of your salvation

-of God's creation

-of the unique way God has created you

-of Jesus.

If you would like to read the entire week’s message, click here to view/download the PDF.

Thanksgiving is a good time to remind ourselves that we really need to be thankful people—to have an attitude of gratitude. It’s not always easy to do, is it? Don’t you know that the enemy of your soul would love to keep you from being a thankful person? If we stay mired in worry and complaining and negative attitudes, then we’re not going to be effective for our Lord.

But a person who develops a real, genuine attitude of gratitude is the kind of person you love to be with, the kind who exudes the joy of the Lord. So, I just want to remind you of some ways you and I can develop a life-long attitude of gratitude. We must be intentional about it; it won’t just happen. And it’s all in our minds—how we think, what we think about.

I think we need to go back to the wonder of all that God has done for us. Have you lost the wonder? Check up on yourself as I mention some of the wonders we need to recover.

Have you lost the wonder of your salvation? When was the last time you shared your story of the time when you became a child of God? When was the last time you prayed: "Lord, thank you so much that I'm born from above and I know that I'll spend eternity with you?” Thank God for your salvation every day.

Have you lost the wonder of God's creation? Do you just take all the beauty and extravagance of the world for granted? When was the last time you enjoyed a beautiful flower or sunset?

David wrote:

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? (Psalm 8:3-4)

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. (Psalm 19:1)

Have you lost the wonder of his creation? Take some time to sit and look around you at the beauty of the world. It will give you an attitude of gratitude.

Would you like to help someone be more than they ever thought they could be? I’m pointing out how Jesus dealt with people so that we can learn some important people skills from the Master. And Jesus was an expert at inspiring people to greatness.

Think about his famous disciple, Peter. When he first met Jesus he was called Simon. But we read in John 1 that “Jesus looked at him and said, ‘You are Simon son of John. You will be called Cephas’ (which, when translated, is Peter” (John 1:42).

Cephas and Peter both mean rock. Jesus called him rock. I wonder how Peter felt when Jesus changed his name. I’m quite certain he had some understanding of the meaning of this name change. Jesus was telling him, in effect, “Peter, I want you on my team. You’re going to be my rock. I believe in you, Peter, and you can be greater than you’ve ever imagined.”

This humble, uneducated fisherman did indeed become great in the kingdom of God. It didn’t happen overnight, you will recall. Peter stumbled along the way many times. But Jesus had given him a new name and called him what he would become. Jesus demonstrated faith in Peter and in spite of his failures, Jesus never gave up on him until he realized his destiny.

If you want to help someone be all that they can be, start calling them what they can become. You probably won’t be able to change their name, but you can say things like, “I believe you could learn to make a very effective presentation. You are good in front of a group.” Or, “You know, you’re good at numbers and statistics. I think you could be great in our research department.” Or to your child, “Honey, you do so well in English. I can see you as a great writer.” Or to your mate, “You have such good insight into people; I bet you’d be a great counselor.”

Something that simple can give a person new hope, a new image of themselves, and it could make a major difference in what they are able to achieve and do. So, call some people names today like Jesus did for Peter. Call them what they can become and it will inspire them to go for it.