To give a little more background to the Fran stories, Fran is a single mom, a young widow, who was suddenly thrust back into the job market after her husband’s untimely death. Like most single moms, she struggles with the many hats she has to wear now. Thankfully, she has a good support system from her parents and her church family, but finding the right balance is a continuing challenge.

She has made it her practice to rise early each day and have time for Bible reading and meditation as well as prayer. She tries to journal most days and recognizes that in order to face all of her challenges at work and at home, she needs to be spiritually strong. It’s been a few years now since Jim died, and she has done well on her job and her kids seem to be growing and thriving normally. She makes it a habit to talk with Jesus throughout her day, to remind herself of his ever-abiding presence.

This morning, as she closes her Bible, she says, “Well, I better get dressed for work or I'm going to be late. Thanks for this time of encouragement with you, Jesus. These quiet moments alone with you each morning make a real difference. Now, job one: get the kids up and ready for school.”

As she arrives at the office, there is a note on her desk from Marilyn, her manager. Fran reads out loud, "Please see me as soon as you arrive. Hmm, wonder what this is all about," Fran ponders. “Well, Lord, I don't know what I'll have to face and so I’m glad you’ll be right there with me."

She heads toward Marilyn's office. Peeking her head inside, Fran says, "You wanted to see me?"

"Oh, yeah, Fran, come on in. Have a seat. I think I have some exciting news for you.” Marilyn says with a smile.

"Well, you've got my curiosity up, Marilyn," Fran replies.

"Here's the deal,” Marilyn says. "We've got a shot at a new client—a big one, Fran: Mitchells Commercial Cleaning Services.”

With that news, Fran's eyes double in size. "Mitchell's? I’ve seen them around. Are they a franchise or what?”

“Yes,” Marilyn replies. “They're one of the fastest growing franchises in the country. It’s a big deal, Fran, and a great opportunity. They’re looking for a new agency and we're one of the three they are considering. So, top management has assigned a Vice President from headquarters to oversee this bid, and since they are headquartered here, we will be assisting him. I met with him yesterday, and after a lot of discussion, he and I have picked you to assist him in trying to land Mitchell's."

Fran's mouth is hanging open. She says, "What, Marilyn? Really? I'm going to be assigned to this prospect—working with a Vice President? Me? I don't know what to say. Obviously, I'm honored, but I have to admit, I'm also scared."

"You'll be fine, Fran. You know how to put a proposal together, you're good on your feet, and I think you'll get along well with Jim. That's who you'll be working with—Jim Clark, VP of marketing."

The mention of Jim Clark strikes a note of fear. "Jim Clark—wow. I've heard all kinds of stories about how tough he is," Fran replies.

"Yes, he is tough. But he's good and fair, and if you perform the way I know you can, you won't have any problems with him," Marilyn assures Fran. "Now, he'll be here tomorrow and wants to spend the day with you setting the strategy. Your first meeting with Mitchell's is next week, so there's no time to waste."

As she heads back to her office, Fran can't hide her excitement. "Jesus, this is really a big deal. Wow, just think, Jim and Marilyn chose me above everyone else in the office. Oh, Ed's gonna be furious when he hears this. I'm sure he'll think he should have been chosen; he thinks he's the best. It will really goad him because they gave it to a woman over a man," Fran says to herself with a chuckle.

“So,

Proverbs 18:17 says, “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” This proverb is very good advice for us on our jobs.

What it teaches us is to withhold judgment and opinions until we've heard both sides to any story. We shouldn't be gullible and we shouldn't jump to conclusions.

This is a particularly difficult area for me, for I am very impulsive and very much an over-reactor. And every time I do that, I regret it. I am by God's grace focusing prayer and attention in my life on learning to wait until I hear both sides of any story, to make sure I've got my facts straight, to remember that there may be something here I just don't know yet.

I remember coming into the office on a very busy day, to find a message that irritated me at once. With only partial information, I thought this other person was doing something way out of line, and I overreacted. I went to the phone and started dialing the number, to get things straightened out. Thankfully, she was not in and I didn't get to speak with her at that time.

When she did return my call and explained the situation, I realized that the message had not been complete, and if I had talked with her earlier, I would have overreacted and probably hurt her feelings. God protected me that time and reminded me how much I need to learn not to overreact.

Wise Solomon warned us that the first person to present their case can sound very convincing, because we haven't heard the other side of the story. We need to listen to people, but not be too quick to agree or disagree with them until we've sorted the facts ou­t and know what we're dealing with. This is good advice for managers and employees alike.

Well, I want to encourage you to go to the Proverbs daily for guidance. There are 31 chapters, so you can read the one that corresponds to the day of the month. I've been doing that for several years, and many times God has used the Proverbs to give me clear guidance, especially on job-related issues.

If you would like to read the entire week’s message, click here to view/download the PDF.

The book of Proverbs is wonderfully applicable to the situations we face in our working worlds.

Proverbs 6:2-5 gives us some very practical advice:

If you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth, then do this... to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbor's hands: Go—to the point of exhaustion... Allow no sleep to your eyes... Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler.

How many times have you wanted to crawl under a table because you said something that you wished you hadn't? Perhaps they were words spoken in anger or haste, or words of gossip, or judgmental words. Unkind, untruthful, harsh, unnecessary words that inflicted harm of some kind.

What do you do? You can't unsay them; you can't delete them; you can't erase them. Those words hang there in your memory and the memory of others. What can you do?

Solomon says to go and humble yourself to the person your words harmed; go, confess to them, and do it immediately. Apologize and do all you can to free yourself from the damage of those words.

Now, I know that's not easy to do. But it's a lot easier than not doing it! Once in a hotel on a business trip, I accused a hotel employee of neglecting to follow my instructions. I was certain that I had given those instructions. So, nicely, but directly, I said, "I'm sure it's your fault; please correct it.”

Well, a few minutes later I came to realize that I was the one who was wrong, not him. It was embarrassing; I wanted to run away. But I forced myself to go to the phone, call the young man and apologize to him. Even a simple apology like that wasn't easy, but once I did it, I felt so free. And I could tell that it made a big difference to him. He kept saying, "That's so nice of you to call. Thank you.” Well, it wasn't nice of me; it was the right thing to do.

If you've offended someone with words, don't procrastinate. Go right now, today and apologize. That's good advice from Proverbs.

Does God care about how you conduct your business affairs? Proverbs 11:1 tells us that he does.

The Lord detests dishonest scales, but accurate weights find favor with him.

Dishonest scales represent cheating people; swindling people out of money that they deserve. And the Lord abhors any business practice like that, whether simple or sophisticated.

Another translation of Proverbs 11:1 says that a false balance is an abomination to the Lord. This is very strong language. The Holy Spirit wants us to know that God hates deceitfulness and deception of any kind when it comes to business transactions. It offends him personally when we misrepresent anything in a business transaction, when we fudge the numbers a bit to make a better impression, when we tip the scales in our favor. God sees it; he knows it; and he hates it!

If you’re in a position of selling to customers, you need to be totally honest about your product or service. Often sales people are seen as those who can “talk a good talk,” make things look good even if they’re not. But a Christ-follower should never be guilty of that kind of deceitfulness. That would be a dishonest scale.

I remember many years ago my mother bought some curtains, and when she got home she realized that the clerk had under-charged her. Well, she just couldn’t get in the car and get back to that store fast enough to pay the fair price for those curtains.

The clerk was astonished when mom returned to pay what she owed. Can you imagine how many people would ever do that? But my mom and dad were always scrupulously honest, and it never even occurred to her to do anything except go back and pay what she owed.

As Christians in the workplace, one of our distinctives should be our honesty in all dealings, whether buying or selling. When we refuse to take advantage or deceive or fudge the numbers, it gives us an opportunity to glorify our Father in heaven. God delights in us when we have that kind of honesty in our business transactions.

So, remember, as you go about your business dealings, God cares deeply about how honest you are. He abhors dishonest business deals, but he delights when we are careful to always be squeaky clean in our business transactions.

I’m focusing on Proverbs for Business from the book of Proverbs, which has 31 chapters. I encourage you to read one chapter every day.

Proverbs 10:4: Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.

Over and again the Bible admonishes us as Christ-followers to be diligent workers. God gave Adam the first job description and “put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it” (Gen. 2:15).

The Apostle Paul often condemned laziness. To the church at Thessalonica he wrote:

1 Thessalonians 5:12-14:  Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.

Have you noticed that idleness—laziness—often leads to disruptions. You’ve heard the old saying that “idle hands are the devil’s workshop,” and it’s true. Staying busy and productive will keep you out of trouble.

2 Thessalonians 3:10: For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”

Giving people money who have the ability to earn it but are lazy is not doing them any favors. Requiring your children to work for their allowance is a good way to teach them that hard work brings success.

In telling the parable of the talents, Jesus gave the strongest condemnation to laziness. To the one servant who did nothing with his talent, he called him a “wicked, lazy servant.” Laziness is a sin. And we are living in a world that condones it, that rewards it sometimes with unearned money, causing some people not to even try to find a job.

You may not be the smartest person on your job, or the most educated or the most experienced. But you can always be the hardest working, most diligent person where you work. That is a wonderful testimony of your commitment to Jesus Christ. It is one way your light can shine in a dark world.

I believe that the book of Proverbs is the best management and employee relations book ever written. I'd like to look at five different proverbs and how they relate to our jobs. I encourage you to make Proverbs a daily reading habit. There are 31 chapters, so it's easy to read the chapter that corresponds to the day of the month. I've been doing that for several years and find the practical advice has been most beneficial in my life.

Let's look at Proverbs 22:10. It says, "Drive out the mocker and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended.” Another translation reads, "Drive out the scoffer and contention will go out. Even strife and dishonor will cease” (NASB).

Have you ever worked with a person who was a mocker and a scoffer? That's the person who makes fun of others, who ridicules people and organizations, who is arrogant and causes problems seemingly on purpose. When there's a mocker in the group, the work environment can be pretty miserable.

This proverb says that by getting rid of a mocker, you get rid of strife. For those who are in management positions, it's good to remember that there are times when the best thing you can do is to let an employee go. Now, I hope that doesn't sound cruel, but a person who is intent on offending others—and some people are—can have very detrimental effects on an organization.

Of course, as Christians, we still must care about people regardless of how unlovable they are. And though we can never change people, the Holy Spirit can, so we shouldn't give up praying for them. But that doesn't mean we allow them to ruin the working environment for everyone else. Remember, the workplace is not a rehab center or a counseling office. You should help people when possible, but you don’t hire people to reform or change them; you hire them to do a job.

My experience tells me that many managers need to bite some bullets for the good of the organization, and drive out the mockers and the scoffers that are disrupting the workplace. It's some good advice found in Proverbs.

I want to talk about living loved. Living as one loved by God.

Do you believe, really believe that you are deeply loved by the Father? Are you living as one who is deeply loved by Jesus?

I’m not sure what season you are in these days. You may be in a place where your faith and relationship with Jesus are thriving and you feel near to God. You may feel distant from the Lord, perhaps dry and weary. Or, you may be in a dark night of the soul. A place where you are experiencing confusion, fear, uncertainty and doubts about God. Maybe you are questioning your faith. Maybe you are caught in a pattern of sin and think you have outrun the love, grace, and favor of God.

When I became a follower of Jesus 24 years ago, nobody ever told me there would be seasons in my faith. Seasons of highs and seasons where I felt deep lows. Long stretches of intimacy with Jesus and days, weeks and months where I felt distant, distracted, and despondent. I have experienced the highs and lows in my faith, and everywhere in between. So no matter what season you are in today, you are not alone. Sometimes just knowing that you are not alone when you struggle in your faith is the reassurance you need to press on and not give up - to keep leaning into and receiving God’s unconditional affection and favor.

I want to share a few things I have been learning and relearning in this season of my faith. We are going to be taking a look at Ephesians 3:14-21.

As we mature as followers of Jesus, God calls us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. This is a daily pursuit. Transformation of our minds happens when we think God’s thoughts after him. And we have his thoughts written in his Word. If you have not made it a daily practice to be in his Word, consider this as a loving nudge and reminder. We take in so much information around us on a daily basis. It is vital that we intentionally fill our minds with what is true, pure, and praiseworthy.

Before we dig into Ephesians, let me pray.

Father God, show us your heart today, ground us in your presence. Open our eyes and help us to see you, open our hearts and help us to know you. Open our ears to hear your truth and our mouths that we would rejoice and praise you. We desire a fresh word, a fresh encounter with you Jesus. Holy Spirit counsel and guide our hearts, minds, and souls. Help us to be present to your presence, to soak in your affection for us. We love you, Jesus and it is in your name that we pray. Amen.

There is a quote that I have repeated several times since I heard it. It’s a quote by the well-known pastor and author, AW Tozer. He says, “What comes to mind when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”

What we believe about God and how he feels about us informs the way we live. What we believe informs our work, our relationships, our lives.

Let’s look at Ephesians 3:14-19 This is the Apostle Paul’s prayers for the Church at Ephesus… to the believers and followers of Jesus.

Paul prays these words...and I pray these words over you.

…I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,… and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

The first thing to notice about Paul’s prayer is that he is kneeling before the Father. This position of prayer is one of reverence and humility. And Paul prays that we are rooted - firmly fixed, grounded - in the love of Jesus. Picture a tree and its root system that goes deep into the earth. The roots make the tree immovable,

I really love coming alongside people and helping them navigate conflict. But if I am honest, I can find it hard to navigate conflict in my own relationships at times. So I want you to know, I am growing with you!

At times it takes me longer to address conflict because I fear hurting the other person’s feelings, getting rejected or jeopardizing the relationship. And frankly, leaning into conflict is just downright uncomfortable. At the same time, I don’t like unresolved conflict that creates further tension. It takes courage to address conflict. It takes a desire to create and contribute to healthy relationships.

For a little motivation, consider counting the cost of avoiding conflict. It is estimated that unresolved conflicts cost companies $359 billion dollars each year (Crosby, The UnCommon League, 1.8.18). What is unresolved conflict costing you and your relationships? There is a price that we pay, and that others pay. Conflicts can continue to fester when ignored and stay with us until we face and resolve them.

How can we initiate a conversation to address conflict? One way may sound like this……

“Our working relationship is really important to me. I was thinking about what happened between us. There are things that I could have and should have done better. I didn’t live up to my values/my convictions as a follower of Christ. Can we sit down and talk?”

Or….

"I’d like to see if we might reach a better understanding about ___________. I really want to hear your thoughts and if you are open to it, share my perspective as well."

Those are just two examples of how to start a conversation.

Here are some final things to consider:

Talk directly to the person you need to talk with. Don’t go around them or talk about them. Don’t email them. Talk to them face to face if possible, or on the phone if necessary.

Remember to stay humble. The person might not respond in the way you had hoped, at least initially. Give it some time. Know that you are not responsible for their response, but you are responsible to exhibit Christlikeness and obedience to godly wisdom in conflicts.

Be grateful for the opportunity that conflict can bring and what it can produce in you when approached in a godly way. Applying wisdom to conflicts does not always guarantee the outcome we hope for but avoiding conflict will only make a situation fester. Pray, ask God to help you, tell the person how important the relationship is to you and do your part to contribute to a healthy relationship.

If you would like to read the entire week’s message, click here to view/download the PDF.

Let's talk about overlooking an offense. I was listening to a podcast the other day and the message was about being unoffendable. The question posed was, “Is it really possible to be unoffendable?” And the answer was… you guessed it…. Yes. And let’s be honest, it can take hard work to overlook an offense.

Now first let me say we now live in a culture where we see some people so easily offended it is astonishing. The art of having a respectful conversation while having differing opinions and disagreement has been lost! Some people are on the lookout to have a reason to be offended.

Proverbs 12:16 says: Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.

Be thoughtful, be wise. Don’t be a fool.

Many disputes are so insignificant that they should be resolved by quietly and deliberately overlooking an offense.

Proverbs 19:11 says: A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

Overlooking an offense is a form of forgiveness, and involves a deliberate decision not to talk about it, dwell on it, or let it grow into pent-up bitterness or anger. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive others. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can serve only to deplete and drain your life. Demonstrate a readiness to forgive and forget, and to move past the conflict without holding resentments or anger.

And avoid triangulation. Triangulation is when, for example, you are upset with your co-worker Susan and instead of overlooking an offense or directly addressing the conflict with Susan, you complain and gossip to Jim. Call it venting, problem solving, or sharing a prayer request, but it’s really sin.

Is there an offense that God is calling you to overlook? Ask Jesus to help you.

We have done a lot of self-examination when it comes to conflict. Asking God to search our hearts, owning our part in the conflict, being quick to listen...seeking to understand the other person’s point of view, and overlooking an offense.

We are talking about conflict and applying God’s wisdom to our current relational challenges. We all have conflict and we all need help navigating through it at times.

The reality is that conflict can trigger strong emotions and can lead to hurt feelings, disappointment, and discomfort. When handled in an unhealthy manner, it can cause resentment and rifts that seem irreparable. But when conflict is resolved in a healthy way, when we apply God’s wisdom, it increases our understanding of the other person, builds trust, and strengthens our relationships.

James 1:19-20 says: My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,  because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Now notice that James says, “Be slow to become angry.” He is not dismissing or discounting anger but he gives a strong admonishment. Be quick to listen, slow to speak. In other words, don’t lead with anger! And, check your anger. Often anger is an unwarranted reaction.

When conflict triggers strong emotions, objectivity can go out the window. We tend to react before we listen. When we lead with emotion in responding to conflict we tend to base our response on our perceptions of the situation, not necessarily to an objective view of the facts. We can jump to conclusions and make assumptions about another person and their actions and motives.

While we may feel like we are right about what we are seeing and experiencing in conflict (and by the way, the other person is most likely thinking they’re right, too), we may not realize that our perceptions are often influenced by our life experiences, our values and our own beliefs.

So how do we apply the biblical wisdom that James is throwing down?

When James says, “Be quick to listen,” this is a charge to stop, take a deep breath, pause, and try honestly to see things from the other person’s perspective. Empathize with their viewpoint.

We can be so committed to our point of view that we dismiss how another person may be thinking or feeling. So take time to listen. And be slow to speak. The natural tendency may be to play defense, but this is where humility comes in handy. Remain calm, non-defensive, and respectful in your reactions. Be mindful of your facial expression, body language, words and tone. And as my friend Nicole would say, …remember: quick, slow, slow.