The Courageous Life

When I was first learning to be a coach we had a saying before stepping into a coaching conversation:

Leave your assumptions at the door and embrace curiosity.

In reality we often know SO little about someone’s experience, and about their story.

And when we recognize that, what seems to make the most sense is to get curious.

To ask questions,

And to listen deeply.

In yesterday's episode with Dr. Jonah Paquette which took a dive into the depths of awe and wonder he offered a beautiful reminder of the power of curiosity.

And that reminder is the inspiration for today’s practice which centers around finding ways to let go of your assumptions

And to choose learning over knowing.

If you want to dive deeper into this topic I would encourage you to check out the interview with Jonah Paquette (if you haven't already):

• Awe, Wonder, and Everyday Miracles | Dr. Jonah Paquette

Or  pick up a copy of his book: Awestruck: How Embracing Wonder Can Make You Happier, Healthier, and More Connected. 

Thank you for your practice.

I look forward to continuing together next Thursday!

-Joshua

Want these practices delivered via text?

If you are located in the U.S. text the word courage to 805-430-6801 to join Joshua's text community and you'll get a text once/week with a link directly to the practice.

Looking for more practice opportunities? 

Check out:

• Free Meditation Events - 60 minute community gatherings with Joshua held 2x a month over zoom.
• The Practice Pass - An annual membership that gives you on-demand access to robust practice experiences including the 28-Day Practicing Courage Challenge and The 5-Day Transforming Stress Challenge. 
• Past Practicing Courage episodes in the podcast feed
• The FREE Practice Library

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What do you feel when you gaze up at the Milky Way, take in a beautiful sunset, stand before a mountain that seems impossibly high, or witness an extraordinary act of courage, kindness, or love?

Often, it's a profound sense of awe - the overwhelming feeling we experience when we encounter something vast that transcends our understanding.

In his book Awestruck,  clinician, researcher, and multi-time author, Dr. Jonah Paquette, reminds us that awe-inspiring moments are all around us.

Ranging from the grand to the commonplace, its these moments that hold part of the key to living a deeply fulfilling life.

Today, Jonah and I will dive into a wide ranging conversation about the life-changing potential of awe.

Together we'll explore:

• How this powerful emotion can help alleviate some of the struggles in our daily lives, including stress, and social isolation.
• How awe can help us more effectively navigate polarization and division as we find the curiosity and compassion to build bridges across difference.
• The groundbreaking science behind awe including how it impacts our brain and nervous system. 
• Powerful insights into the effects of awe and how it can transform life in flashbulb moments.
• Moving stories of people who inspire awe.
• Simple practices aimed at bringing more wonder, curiosity, empathy, and courage into our lives.

If you want to dive deeper into the topic of Awe I  would highly encourage you to check out Jonah’s book Awestruck: How Embracing Wonder Can Make You Happier, Healthier, and More Connected.  

Did you find today's episode inspiring? Please share with friends!

Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• The Transformative Power of Humility | Dr. Daryl Van Tongeren
• The Key to Resilience, Growth, and Possibility | Sharon Salzberg and Dr. Barbara Fredrickson. 

More about Jonah:

Jonah Paquette is a clinical psychologist, author, and keynote speaker specializing in the science of well-being and the promotion of emotional fitness for individuals, teams, and organizations. Jonah conducts keynote presentations with top organizations throughout the world, and teaches skills for well-being so that individuals and organizations can flourish. He is the author of four books. Prior to his career as a speaker and trainer, Jonah spent over a decade working in healthcare leadership at Kaiser Permanente. For more, please visit jonahpaquette.com

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On the heels of a powerful conversation with Dr. Emma Seppala we are re-releasing this Practicing Courage episode (originally #4) as it aligns intimately with the themes Emma and I explored together.

Perhaps none more important than Sovereignty, which is the topic of Emma's beautiful new book: Sovereign.

She defines Sovereignty as: Our innate human capacity for being resilient regardless of the chaos that life brings and for staying true to oneself and intentional regardless of outside influences.

Part of staying true to oneself involves the practice of intentionally letting go of what no longer serves us. 

Today's practice will explore how to let go as you are introduced you to the work of Dr. Jud Brewer. 

You'll learn more about how we can leverage knowledge of how our brains work, the latest science of habit change, and a blend of curiosity and kindness, to ultimately let go of ways of thinking and behaving that no are no longer helpful or beneficial in the pursuit of what we care about most.

Thank you for your practice!


Did you find today's practice valuable? Remember, courage is contagious. If you know someone who would benefit from today’s practice please share.

All practices can be found for free in our Practice Library. Access the library here: https://www.practicingcourage.com/join-library

Interested in taking a deeper dive into practices that support greater calm, clarity, courage, and meaningful connection?

We created The Practice Pass, an annual membership that gives you access to all of this dynamic original content including both live and on-demand learning experiences.

If you sign up up for the Practice Pass you’ll receive:

Existing on-demand meditation challenges:

•  The Practicing Courage Challenge
• The 5-Day Transforming Stress Challenge
• 3 NEW live challenges each year. 

Learn more and register for the pass here: https://www.practicingcourage.com/signup-practice-pass

Curious to explore this topic further? Here are some conversations on the podcast we think you'll love:

• Dr. Emma Seppälä - Reclaiming Our Freedom, Energy, and Power
• Dr. Jud Brewer - Is Curiosity a Superpower?
• Dr. Jud Brewer - Harnessing Neuroscience to Change Habits and Find Happiness

Til next Thursday,
-Joshua

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There is an internal freedom and a relationship with yourself so profoundly life-supportive and energizing that you access your fullest potential. 

This is sovereignty. Our innate human capacity for being resilient regardless of the chaos that life brings and for staying true to oneself and intentional regardless of outside influences. 

In her beautiful, and empowering new book: Sovereign: Reclaim Your Freedom, Energy, and Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty, and Chaos.

Dr. Emma Seppälä reminds us:

Sovereignty is our birthright and it's what we can all have if we know how.

Today we'll unpack how, as we take a deep dive into human potential and our capacity for Sovereignty.

In today's conversation Emma will share:

• Moving stories about people she’s come across who have found sovereignty in the face of immense challenges and adversities and what she’s learned from them about resilience, inner freedom, and personal power.
• Her own story about a brush with death and finding sovereignty as a result
• What keeps us from experiencing sovereignty - what Emma calls the bound state and different forms this can take
• Why finding sovereignty is really an act of reclaiming our innate strength and wisdom that is there from childhood
• Foundational qualities for sovereignty including having a caring relationship with oneself, cultivating awareness, and choosing courage. 
• Practices that can support sovereignty including meditation, breathing, and reflecting on our relationship triggers, 
• How leaders can foster cultures that support sovereignty at work and how doing so can drive innovation and creativity. 
• What she's learned about the importance of intuition, listening to your gut, and having the courage to follow your heart. 

If you want to dig in to this topic - I  would highly encourage you to pre-order a copy of Sovereign or pick it up when it comes out on April 23rd, 2024. You can find everything about the book, and some wonderful resources Emma has generously put together at iamsov.com

Did you find this episode inspiring? Please share with friends! 

If you enjoyed this conversation, here are others we think you'll love:

• Neuroscience, spirituality, and the quest for an inspired life | Dr. Lisa Miller
• Unlocking the mindset of a champion | Shane O'Sullivan

More about Emma:
 
Emma Seppälä, Ph.D., is a best-selling author, Yale lecturer, and international keynote speaker, Seppälä teaches executives at the Yale School of Management and is faculty director of the Yale School of Management’s Women’s Leadership Program. A psychologist and research scientist by training, her expertise is the science of happiness, emotional intelligence, and social connection. Her best-selling book The Happiness Track has been translated into dozens of languages. Seppälä is also the Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. For more please visit: emmaseppala.com

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To fail is human.

It’s built into our experience from childhood.

We begin to walk and we fall.

We begin a project, we work toward a goal, or we start a business and we may fail.

We experience these moments -

• When we are engaged in learning, 
• When we are moving toward something we care about 

And we come up short.

And in these moments there is an opportunity for practice -

Learning to relate to these moments from a place curiosity, care, and compassion (vs. criticism, blame, and judgment).

In my recent conversation with Amy Edmondson we dove into the topic of failure and explored this opportunity under the backdrop of larger questions:

How do we stay open to learning in the face of failure?

How do we stay open in the moments where we come up short?

Today’s practice offers some options for opening that build upon the conversation with Amy and the insights that came out of it, including:

An invitation to slow down

To breathe deeply

And to make an intentional shift to curiosity, awareness, and compassion.

When you do, it may just open up more opportunities for learning, growth, and getting better next time.

If you want to dive deeper into this topic I would encourage you to check out the interview with Amy Edmondson (if you haven't already):

• Meeting Failure with Curiosity and Compassion | Dr. Amy Edmondson

Or  pick up a copy of her book: Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well

Thank you for your practice.

I look forward to continuing together next Thursday!

-Joshua

Want these practices delivered via text?

If you are located in the U.S. text the word courage to 805-430-6801 to join Joshua's text community and you'll get a text once/week with a link directly to the practice.

Looking for more practice opportunities? 

Check out:

• Free Meditation Events - 60 minute community gatherings with Joshua held 2x a month over zoom.
• The Practice Pass - An annual membership that gives you on-demand access to robust practice experiences including the 28-Day Practicing Courage Challenge and The 5-Day Transforming Stress Challenge. 
• Past Practicing Courage episodes in the podcast feed
• The FREE Practice Library

Support the show

Failure is an experience that is deeply embedded into our lives. 

As we learn to walk we fall. 

As we learn to ride a bike we (usually) fall again. 

And yet even though it is so familiar, so intertwined with our journey through life, not all failure is created equal. 

Which brings up important questions:

• How do we fail well? 
• What are the crucial distinctions that might help us separate good failure from bad?
• How do we learn to identify when failure is our friend, and prevent most of it when it is not? 

These bigger questions about failing wisely are at the core of the conversation today. Dr. Amy Edmondson is back on the show and together we’ll explore:

• How we can stay open to learning from failure at the individual and team level
• How leaders can create the conditions for learning in the face of failures. 
• The importance of curiosity before blame - and a simple way to practice it
• The reasons why most failures are not blameworthy and yet that is often the knee jerk reaction in organizations
• The three types of failure and how diagnosing failure type can lead to learning and preventing further failure.
• Painful emotions that can arise in the face of failure, and the importance of compassion, vulnerability, and giving ourselves permission to be human. 
• Why failure is not an equal opportunity proposition, and her vision for a world where everyone has equal license to fail intelligently. 
• Some of Amy's reflections on the importance of play, having fun, experimenting, taking risks, trying new things, and why practicing in low stakes situations has tremendous upside when it comes to getting better at failing. 

Interested in diving deeper into Amy’s work around failure? Check out her new book: Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well 

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• Giving Everyone Permission to Feel | Dr. Marc Brackett
• Creating Fearless Organizations | Dr. Amy Edmondson

More about Amy Edmondson:

Ranked #1 on the latest Thinkers50 ranking of the world’s most influential management thinkers Amy C. Edmondson is the Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management at the Harvard Business School, a chair established to support the study of human interactions that lead to the creation of successful enterprises that contribute to the betterment of society. She is the author of 7 books and over 60 scholarly papers. She is a sought-after keynote speaker with a worldwide following. For more visit amycedmondson.com

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen! Thanks!

For more information about coaching, mentoring, and the latest events with Joshua please visit: joshuasteinfeldt.com

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In my most recent interview with Dr. Nate Klemp,  who is author of the new book Open: Living With an Expansive Mind in a Distracted World, we got the opportunity to talk deeply about opening more to life. 

Are you familiar with this feeling of openness? 

Perhaps for you it’s a sense of curiosity? 

Or a feeling of expansion in the mind, or in the body? 

Maybe it's being interested, receptive to learning, being open to new ideas, or even experiencing a sense of spaciousness.

As part of this exploration with Nate we also talked about practices that support these qualities. 

And how this practice, of opening the mind (and the heart) is becoming more timely, and more important as many of us find ourselves  living in a world that seems to present an increasing number of opportunities to close down.

So today I will share a practice for opening.

Traditionally this practice has been called big sky meditatio, and it's aim is simple:

To open, to expand awareness, and to observe what’s here, allowing whatever it is to just be here as it is. 

Holding the different aspects of your present moment experience in a spacious awareness. Letting them flow. Almost like clouds floating through a big blue sky. 

If you want to dive deeper into this topic I would encourage you to check out the interview with Nate Klemp (if you haven't already):

• Living With an Expansive Mind in a Distracted World | Dr. Nate Klemp

Or  pick up a copy of his book: Open

Thank you for your practice.

I look forward to continuing together next Thursday!

-Joshua

Want these practices delivered via text?

If you are located in the U.S. text the word courage to 805-430-6801 to join Joshua's text community and you'll get a text once/week with a link directly to the practice.

Looking for more practice opportunities? 

Check out:

• Free Meditation Events - 60 minute community gatherings with Joshua held 2x a month over zoom.
• The Practice Pass - An annual membership that gives you on-demand access to robust practice experiences including the 28-Day Practicing Courage Challenge and The 5-Day Transforming Stress Challenge. 
• Past Practicing Courage episodes in the podcast feed
• The FREE Practice Library

Support the show

With the avalanche of information we get every day, closing down our minds and hearts seems to be the only way to survive. We close to ourselves by compulsively checking our devices. We close to each other by getting caught in echo chambers of outrage. But what if there’s another way? In this climate of distraction and division, what if there’s a path back to a way of living that is expansive, creative, and filled with wonder.

These are the big questions that today's guest, Dr. Nate Klemp, addresses in his new book: Open: Living With an Expansive Mind in a Distracted World. They're also the questions at the heart of our conversation today. 

In the first part of today’s episode Nate and I will explore why we close:

• Including his insights around two of the most pervasive forces driving closure in our society - our rampant addiction to technology and our devices, and growing political polarization
• We’ll also unpack how meditation practices can be used to work with technology addiction, and the incessant craving to check your phone

In the second half of the interview we’ll take a deep dive into insights, practices, and benefits around opening our minds and hearts to live a more expansive life.

Along the way, Nate will share some engaging and profound stories about his personal experiments in opening, particularly when it’s difficult - some of which include:

• Attending a training with the National Rifle Association
• And undergoing gum surgery while awake

One part of this interview which was a lot of fun involves the time Nate and I  spent trading meditation stories, particularly how we have taken meditation off the cushion - what he calls street opening - you’ll hear stories about:

• Meditating in Costco
• On trains
• In malls
• Raising kids etc. 

We explore how these practices have been instrumental in opening to more of life. 

Nate will also share a moving story of his grandma Hilda, and what she taught him about letting go, opening, and meeting life from a place of love

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• Finding the Strength to Meet Adversity | Mark Nepo
• Is Curiosity a Superpower? | Dr. Jud Brewer

More about Nate:

Nate Klemp, PhD, is a philosopher, writer, and mindfulness entrepreneur. He is the coauthor of the New York Times bestseller Start Here and the New York Times critics’ pick The 80/80 Marriage. His work has been featured in the LA Times, Psychology Today, the Times of London, and more, and his appearances include Good Morning America and Talks at Google. He’s a cofounder of LifeXT and founding partner at Mindful. For more, visit nateklemp.com or @Nate_Klemp on Instagram.

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts and share with friends you feel might benefit from tuning in. 

Thanks for listening! 

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Yesterday I released a conversation with Dr. Vanessa Patrick.

Vanessa is a professor of marketing and the associate dean for research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston.

Among other things, Vanessa researches what she calls the empowered refusal - A way of saying no that stems from your identity. 

This empowered form of saying no becomes possible when you have clarity about who are, who you want to be, and what matters to you. 

For me this was one of the more practical conversations I ’ve ever had on the show

Largely because saying no can be hard at times. 

Some of the reasons why saying no can be challenging include:

• You might feel if you say no it could damage to your reputation
• You may have a fear that saying no will feel bad. More specifically that saying no will feel worse than saying yes (and at some level you may want to avoid the discomfort).
• You may be afraid saying no will upset someone or that saying no may create a rift in a relationship

Additionally within the context of organizations (which is an area of expertise for Vanessa) saying no can bring on additional layers of complexity.

• There are power dynamics at play
• There is added pressure to perform
• There may be a desire to move up, receive recognition, 
• The list goes on…

So like I said it was quite valuable to talk with Vanessa. Not only because of her expertise on the topic, but also because her work truly lies at the intersection of art and science.

Her research has revealed the ingredients that lead to an effective no, but like most recipes…there is also an art involved, and Vanessa’s deep experience working with leaders has offered further insight into that art - offering really practical ways of communicating no effectively in the work environment. 

For today’s practice I will offer a few practical takeaways from the conversation with Vanessa that you can take and experiment with in your own life. 

I  hope you find it useful and if you want to dive deep into this topic though I would encourage you to check out our interview (if you haven't already):

• The Life Changing Power of Saying No | Dr. Vanessa Patrick

Or  pick up a copy of her book: The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You In Charge of Your Life

Thank you for your practice.

I look forward to continuing together next Thursday!

-Joshua

Want these practices delivered via text?

If you are located in the U.S. text the word courage to 805-430-6801 to join Joshua's text community and you'll get a text once/week with a link directly to the practice.

Looking for more practice opportunities? 

Check out:

• Free Meditation Events - 60 minute community gatherings with Joshua held 2x a month over zoom.
• The FREE Practice Library
• The Practice Pass - An annual membership that gives you on-demand access to robust practice experiences including the 28-Day Practicing Courage Challenge and The 5-Day Transforming Stress Challenge. 

Support the show

Have you ever said yes when you really wanted to say no?

Has saying no ever been a challenge for you?

These are such common experiences that today’s guest, Dr. Vanessa Patrick has written a powerful new book that addresses them head on: The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life.

Dr. Patrick researches what she calls the empowered refusal, which is a way of saying no that stems from your identity, who you are, what you care about, and how you want to show up in the world.

Today we'll unpack the art and science of the empowered refusal. Or put more simply - how to say no effectively.

In this episode Vanessa will share: 

• More insight from her research about why so many people say yes, when they really want to say no
• Common fears and obstacles that get in the way of saying no effectively
• How to get clarity about what really matters to you and leveraging to say no from an empowered place
• The importance of how you say no, including powerful insights about the importance of aligning body language, facial expression, and tone to communicate a more effective no.
• How the empowered refusal can actually strengthen your reputation. 
• Vanessa will also share language that can be helpful for saying no, including her practice of creating what she calls personal policies.
• And we'll get into a conversation about good work, and why learning to say no effectively creates the opportunity for work that leads to greater meaning and fulfillment. 

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• Gentle Power: Shifting the Way we Define True Strength | Dr. Elisabet Lahti
• Letting Go of Perfectionism and Finding Happiness | Tal Ben-Shahar

Enjoying the show? Please rate it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Thanks!

More about Vanessa:

Dr. Vanessa Patrick is a Professor of Marketing and the Associate Dean for Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. She has a PhD in Business from the University of Southern California and an MBA in marketing from Bombay University in India. Patrick has published dozens of research articles in top-tier academic journals in psychology, marketing, and management, and popular accounts of her work have appeared in the New York Times, TIME, The Wall Street Journal, NPR, LA Times, Business Week, Forbes and others. In her research, she investigates strategies to achieve personal mastery and inspire everyday excellence in oneself and others. You can learn more about Vanessa at vanessapatrick.net

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