The Cracked Podcast

The term 'movie magic' typically refers to the technical brilliance of bringing dinosaurs to life onscreen or how Denzel Washington can make an entire theatre of men and women pregnant with a single knowing glance. But there's a second type of movie magic that often goes overlooked: when movies are so good, we don't notice when their characters' plans' make absolutely no sense. All the great ones do this. In 'Return of the Jedi', all of the main characters get captured attempting to break Han Solo out of Jabba's palace, but it's all good because that was seemingly their plan all along? Why wait to get captured when you can just drop in, lightsabers blazing, bust your dude out of the carbonite and smoke fools in an epic prison breakout? Seems like Luke wanted to fight the Rancor all along.There's a whole category of these where bad guys try to weaponize monsters. From the 'Alien' series to 'Jurassic World', it's just a bad idea. Christopher Nolan is a real magician when it comes to bad movie plans. 'The Dark Knight', 'The Dark Knight Rises', and 'The Prestige' all have glaring examples of movie schemes that don't hold up under an ounce of scrutiny.So, join Jack O'Brien, Michael Swaim, and David Christopher Bell as they discuss the failing of Nolan's villains, why 'Westworld' makes no sense, and how the dudes in 'Jaws' had a bigger boat the whole damn time.And make sure to get tickets to our next LIVE Cracked Podcast, coming up on Saturday, May 13th at 7pm at the UCB Sunset Theatre in Los Angeles. Jack O'Brien is joined by Cracked's Carmen Angelica, Alex Schmidt and Michael Swaim, and comedian Blake Wexler to combine the podcast's two favorite topics: great moments in history and binge drinking. They'll discuss the drafting of the US Constitution, the Russian Revolution and other famous moments in history where everyone was completely sh*tfaced. Tickets are only $7 and available here:  https://goo.gl/PWmm2y Footnotes:Video: Cracked: 3 Ridiculous Movie Schemes That Make No Sense:  https://goo.gl/BGkAFW Article: Cracked: 6 Terrible Plans in Movies That Just Sort of Work Out:  https://goo.gl/DA0Hk Article: Cracked: The 6 Most Pointlessly Elaborate Movie Murder Plots:  https://goo.gl/nuKW4V Article: Cracked: 6 Famous Movie Villains Whose Evil Schemes Make Zero Sense:  https://goo.gl/zkR1RT Article: Cracked: 6 Huge Movie Plot Twists That Caused Even Bigger Plot Holes:  https://goo.gl/L3957 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CRACKED), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/cracked).

Sometime around when Donald Trump started winning state primaries a year ago, the national mood went from, "Damn Daniel," to "oh fuck we're actually going to die in a rain of nuclear hellfire." That happens when a sitting US President attacks an almost-nuclear state on Twitter, as was the case a few weekends ago.With climate change, market instability, loss of privacy, the rise of fascism and a hair-triggered President all coming to a boil around the same time, it's understandable for images of apocalypse and dystopia to weigh heavily on the mind.So, this week the Cracked Podcast is doing an apocalypse grab-bag. Jack O'Brien is joined by Cracked's Alex Schmidt and Saundra Sorenson to talk about bizarre apocalypse-level events that already happened and stories from places like Nigeria, Iraq, the Philippines and even Canada, where either natural disaster, terrorism or totalitarian government have turned everyday life into a dystopia.  Footnotes:Article/Video: Jalopnik: This is the Video CNN Will Play When The World Ends:  https://goo.gl/gvIO9Y Article: Cracked: 4 Nightmare Apocalypses Humanity Forgot Were Possible:  https://goo.gl/U48Y3v Article: Cracked: 6 Real Cities Destroyed By Incredibly Bizarre Apocalypses:  https://goo.gl/XHAvGG Article: Cracked: 6 Apocalypse Scenarios Society Says We're Overdue For:  https://goo.gl/SaBKaG Article: Cracked: 5 Horrifying Apocalyptic Scenarios  (That Have Already Happened):  https://goo.gl/5COk09 Article: The New Yorker: Doomsday Prep for the Super-Rich:  https://goo.gl/GBcpKk Article: The New Yorker: The Really Big One:  https://goo.gl/Y2QxOj  Article: Cracked: Evacuating A Modern City: 5 Realities in a Real Apocalypse:  https://goo.gl/24yA3h Book: Dave Eggers: Zeitoun:  https://goo.gl/WFXXF2 Article: The New Yorker: Hosed:  https://goo.gl/Rsg2aK Article: Smithsonian Magazine: Why Did Greenland's Vikings Vanish?:  https://goo.gl/vuP4C3

Sometime around when Donald Trump started winning state primaries a year ago, the national mood went from, "Damn Daniel," to "oh fuck we're actually going to die in a rain of nuclear hellfire." That happens when a sitting US President attacks an almost-nuclear state on Twitter, as was the case a few weekends ago.With climate change, market instability, loss of privacy, the rise of fascism and a hair-triggered President all coming to a boil around the same time, it's understandable for images of apocalypse and dystopia to weigh heavily on the mind.So, this week the Cracked Podcast is doing an apocalypse grab-bag. Jack O'Brien is joined by Cracked's Alex Schmidt and Saundra Sorenson to talk about bizarre apocalypse-level events that already happened and stories from places like Nigeria, Iraq, the Philippines and even Canada, where either natural disaster, terrorism or totalitarian government have turned everyday life into a dystopia.  Footnotes:Article/Video: Jalopnik: This is the Video CNN Will Play When The World Ends:  https://goo.gl/gvIO9Y Article: Cracked: 4 Nightmare Apocalypses Humanity Forgot Were Possible:  https://goo.gl/U48Y3v Article: Cracked: 6 Real Cities Destroyed By Incredibly Bizarre Apocalypses:  https://goo.gl/XHAvGG Article: Cracked: 6 Apocalypse Scenarios Society Says We're Overdue For:  https://goo.gl/SaBKaG Article: Cracked: 5 Horrifying Apocalyptic Scenarios  (That Have Already Happened):  https://goo.gl/5COk09 Article: The New Yorker: Doomsday Prep for the Super-Rich:  https://goo.gl/GBcpKk Article: The New Yorker: The Really Big One:  https://goo.gl/Y2QxOj  Article: Cracked: Evacuating A Modern City: 5 Realities in a Real Apocalypse:  https://goo.gl/24yA3h Book: Dave Eggers: Zeitoun:  https://goo.gl/WFXXF2 Article: The New Yorker: Hosed:  https://goo.gl/Rsg2aK Article: Smithsonian Magazine: Why Did Greenland's Vikings Vanish?:  https://goo.gl/vuP4C3

Big news! This summer, Hollywood is delivering us our 6th Spiderman movie in the last 15 years. Fun! Time to re-hash all of our favorite story beats like dead uncles, having great responsibilities and kissing upside-down.So yeah, it seems like for the nth summer in a row, the great minds in the Hollywood dream factory are officially out of ideas. Our question is: why? When there are so many amazing stories from real life or incredible works that have yet to be adapted, why another Transformers?This is an issue only the After Hours crew (sans Michael) can figure out. On this week's episode, Jack O'Brien is joined by Soren Bowie, Daniel O'Brien and Katie Willert to fix reboots, throw out adaptations and pitch unbelievable real stories that would make for incredible movies, if only Hollywood had the balls to produce them.Footnotes:Article: Cracked 5 Really Awesome Movies Hidden Inside Really Crappy Movies:  https://goo.gl/gZliXV Article: LA Times: Zankou Chicken's Tragic Family Rift Impedes Chain's Growth:  https://goo.gl/xz1SXG Podcast: Radiolab: Outside Westgate:  https://goo.gl/kp2hP9  (about Nairobi terror attacks in mall - soren talks about)Book: Jennet Conant: The Irregulars: Roald Dahl and the British Spy Ring in Wartime Washington:  https://goo.gl/3GJoqe Book: F. Scott Fitzgerald: The Diamond as Big as the Ritz:  https://goo.gl/C6nQ7E Podcast: The Dollop: Lobotomy:  https://goo.gl/xSBkQr Article: LA Times: Colonel Griffith J. Griffith, One of LA's More Colorful Figures:  https://goo.gl/P4k3H Book: Bonar Menninger: Mortal Error: The Shot That Killed JFK:  https://goo.gl/8xN2Dd Documentary: JFK: The Smoking Gun:  https://goo.gl/hTWyy7 Article: The New Yorker: Bill James, True-Crime Obsessive, On The Genre's Enduring Importance:  https://goo.gl/Z8zhe4 Book: Bill James: Popular Crime:  https://goo.gl/9vuTiM Article: Cracked: 5 Insane 'What If' Scenarios That Almost Changed Everything:  https://goo.gl/irzui9 Article: New York Times: LBJ's Bravado and a Secret Service Under Scrutiny:  https://goo.gl/JzmaiU Book: L.A. Meyer: Bloody Jack:  https://goo.gl/GeCQPM Book: Brain Jacques: Redwall:  https://goo.gl/AXfiaa Article: Smithsonian Magazine: The Heiress to a Gun Empire Built a Mansion Forever Haunted by the Blood Money that Built It:  https://goo.gl/oJGQuq

Big news! This summer, Hollywood is delivering us our 6th Spiderman movie in the last 15 years. Fun! Time to re-hash all of our favorite story beats like dead uncles, having great responsibilities and kissing upside-down.So yeah, it seems like for the nth summer in a row, the great minds in the Hollywood dream factory are officially out of ideas. Our question is: why? When there are so many amazing stories from real life or incredible works that have yet to be adapted, why another Transformers?This is an issue only the After Hours crew (sans Michael) can figure out. On this week's episode, Jack O'Brien is joined by Soren Bowie, Daniel O'Brien and Katie Willert to fix reboots, throw out adaptations and pitch unbelievable real stories that would make for incredible movies, if only Hollywood had the balls to produce them.Footnotes:Article: Cracked 5 Really Awesome Movies Hidden Inside Really Crappy Movies:  https://goo.gl/gZliXV Article: LA Times: Zankou Chicken's Tragic Family Rift Impedes Chain's Growth:  https://goo.gl/xz1SXG Podcast: Radiolab: Outside Westgate:  https://goo.gl/kp2hP9  (about Nairobi terror attacks in mall - soren talks about)Book: Jennet Conant: The Irregulars: Roald Dahl and the British Spy Ring in Wartime Washington:  https://goo.gl/3GJoqe Book: F. Scott Fitzgerald: The Diamond as Big as the Ritz:  https://goo.gl/C6nQ7E Podcast: The Dollop: Lobotomy:  https://goo.gl/xSBkQr Article: LA Times: Colonel Griffith J. Griffith, One of LA's More Colorful Figures:  https://goo.gl/P4k3H Book: Bonar Menninger: Mortal Error: The Shot That Killed JFK:  https://goo.gl/8xN2Dd Documentary: JFK: The Smoking Gun:  https://goo.gl/hTWyy7 Article: The New Yorker: Bill James, True-Crime Obsessive, On The Genre's Enduring Importance:  https://goo.gl/Z8zhe4 Book: Bill James: Popular Crime:  https://goo.gl/9vuTiM Article: Cracked: 5 Insane 'What If' Scenarios That Almost Changed Everything:  https://goo.gl/irzui9 Article: New York Times: LBJ's Bravado and a Secret Service Under Scrutiny:  https://goo.gl/JzmaiU Book: L.A. Meyer: Bloody Jack:  https://goo.gl/GeCQPM Book: Brain Jacques: Redwall:  https://goo.gl/AXfiaa Article: Smithsonian Magazine: The Heiress to a Gun Empire Built a Mansion Forever Haunted by the Blood Money that Built It:  https://goo.gl/oJGQuq

Nowadays, there's a huge emphasis on eating natural foods. Staying away from GMOs, pesticides, and processed sugars is generally thought of as a good thing. Some call it the paleo diet and it's a way to harken back to a simpler time, when our ancestors ate gathered fruits and hunted animals.Going paleo is very noble and all, but the problem is: the plants and animals we eat are nothing like they were thousands of years ago, let a hundred years ago. Before test tubes were ever a part of the equation, we selectively bred everything from cows and chickens to apples and bananas. You'd barf in your mouth just looking at an OG banana, let alone trying to eat it. And cows? They were bred from their ancestors, cattle-like animals called aurochs, who would fuck you up if you tried milking them.The food we eat today and think of as normal is just one example of a historical blindspot we have where we think commonplace objects and concepts have been around forever. But in this week's episode, Jack O'Brien is joined by Michael Swaim and Teresa Lee to discuss how things like food, love, racism and mourning dead children are all surprisingly recent developments.Footnotes:Article: Cracked: 7 Concepts We Totally Take For Granted, Like White People:  https://goo.gl/dVJVIL Article: Cracked: 6 Man-Made Things You Totally Thought Were Natural:  https://goo.gl/QvjHtN Article: Cracked: 5 Simple Things You Won't Believe Are Recent Inventions:  https://goo.gl/NzAfxQ Article: Seeker: Cows Almost Impossible to Domesticate, DNA Reveals:  https://goo.gl/w6Uai1 Article: Pacific Standard: How Lobster Got Fancy:  https://goo.gl/qa1LaL Article: Gawker: 'Breathtaking' Document Reveals Pepsi's Logo is Pinnacle of Entire Universe:  https://goo.gl/9tYW Article: Time: The Invention of Teenagers:  https://goo.gl/gWgJDs Article: The New York Times: Who's White?:  https://goo.gl/fAzpSE Podcast: Duke University Center for Documentary Studies: Seeing White:  https://goo.gl/6fWI65 Text: Ralph Waldo Emerson: English Traits:  https://goo.gl/LBPZFQ Article: The Atlantic: Thomas Jefferson: Radical and Racist:  https://goo.gl/F9McpQ Scholarly Article: Did The Ancients Care When Their Children Died?:  https://goo.gl/ozHK5a The Romantic Love Test:  https://goo.gl/ITk7yA This episode is brought to you by Louis C.K. 2017 on Netflix, Harry’s (www.harrys.com/cracked), and Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: CRACKED).

Nowadays, there's a huge emphasis on eating natural foods. Staying away from GMOs, pesticides, and processed sugars is generally thought of as a good thing. Some call it the paleo diet and it's a way to harken back to a simpler time, when our ancestors ate gathered fruits and hunted animals.Going paleo is very noble and all, but the problem is: the plants and animals we eat are nothing like they were thousands of years ago, let a hundred years ago. Before test tubes were ever a part of the equation, we selectively bred everything from cows and chickens to apples and bananas. You'd barf in your mouth just looking at an OG banana, let alone trying to eat it. And cows? They were bred from their ancestors, cattle-like animals called aurochs, who would fuck you up if you tried milking them.The food we eat today and think of as normal is just one example of a historical blindspot we have where we think commonplace objects and concepts have been around forever. But in this week's episode, Jack O'Brien is joined by Michael Swaim and Teresa Lee to discuss how things like food, love, racism and mourning dead children are all surprisingly recent developments.Footnotes:Article: Cracked: 7 Concepts We Totally Take For Granted, Like White People:  https://goo.gl/dVJVIL Article: Cracked: 6 Man-Made Things You Totally Thought Were Natural:  https://goo.gl/QvjHtN Article: Cracked: 5 Simple Things You Won't Believe Are Recent Inventions:  https://goo.gl/NzAfxQ Article: Seeker: Cows Almost Impossible to Domesticate, DNA Reveals:  https://goo.gl/w6Uai1 Article: Pacific Standard: How Lobster Got Fancy:  https://goo.gl/qa1LaL Article: Gawker: 'Breathtaking' Document Reveals Pepsi's Logo is Pinnacle of Entire Universe:  https://goo.gl/9tYW Article: Time: The Invention of Teenagers:  https://goo.gl/gWgJDs Article: The New York Times: Who's White?:  https://goo.gl/fAzpSE Podcast: Duke University Center for Documentary Studies: Seeing White:  https://goo.gl/6fWI65 Text: Ralph Waldo Emerson: English Traits:  https://goo.gl/LBPZFQ Article: The Atlantic: Thomas Jefferson: Radical and Racist:  https://goo.gl/F9McpQ Scholarly Article: Did The Ancients Care When Their Children Died?:  https://goo.gl/ozHK5a The Romantic Love Test:  https://goo.gl/ITk7yA This episode is brought to you by Louis C.K. 2017 on Netflix, Harry’s (www.harrys.com/cracked), and Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: CRACKED).

The 2016 Election made it clear that we live in an America divided.  There is a struggle between small-town and big-city America that comes down to more than just ideology. There's a general misunderstanding of how we live life that both sides fall victim to. To one side, the cramped and cavernous nature of city streets is straight-up anxiety-inducing. To the other, it's a surprise that dirt roads even exist at all. Didn't we get rid of those decades ago? But if the road is made of dirt, how will the driverless Uber know where to go? This is why Trump's President, ya'll!In one bubble, entertainment is taking in a show or a concert; in the other, entertainment is muddin' or taking random pills. One isn't better than the other. There are no judgements here. It's just that things that are absolutely commonplace in one world are so completely alien to the people in the other.On this week's podcast, city-boy Jack O'Brien is joined by columnist John Cheese, who still lives in small-town Illinois, and comedian Billy Wayne Davis who grew up in rural Tennessee but now travels the world and has seen the absurdity in how both sides live. Later, John Cheese and Jason Pargin (aka David Wong) break-down their formative years in small-town Illinois and how the death of the local business turned their community into a living hell.Make sure to get tickets to our next live Cracked Podcast on Saturday, April 8th at 7pm at the UCB Sunset Theatre in Los Angeles. Jack is joined by Daniel O'Brien, Soren Bowie and Katie Willert from 'After Hours' to talk about reboots we'd love to see, great movies hidden in bad movies and other movie ideas way too awesome to actually get made. Tickets are $7 and available here:  https://goo.gl/kTFUYQ Footnotes:Billy Wayne Davis on Twitter:  https://goo.gl/rJ1Fqh Billy Wayne Davis Live at Third Man Records: https://goo.gl/Niyn2N Video: Billy Wayne Davis on 'Conan': https://youtu.be/T8ShD0RzOsU Article: Cracked: 5 Things Only Poor Teens Understand About Poverty: https://goo.gl/GShCBq Article: Cracked: 4 Common Morals Designed to Keep You Poor: https://goo.gl/NPvnQw Article: Cracked: 4 Things Politicians Will Never Understand About Poor People: https://goo.gl/HWZuy Article: Cracked: 5 Telltale Sings You Grew Up Poor: https://goo.gl/Ct5kBf Article: Cracked: I Was Raised As A Racist: 6 Weird Things I Learned: https://goo.gl/IkwLlD Article: Cracked: How Half of America Lost It's F**king Mind: https://goo.gl/KBJs5W Article: Cracked: I Investigated Fox News' Poverty Claims (On My Mom): https://goo.gl/Lm8WqR Jack O'Brien's Playlist on Spotify:  https://goo.gl/hWjsFJ

The 2016 Election made it clear that we live in an America divided.  There is a struggle between small-town and big-city America that comes down to more than just ideology. There's a general misunderstanding of how we live life that both sides fall victim to. To one side, the cramped and cavernous nature of city streets is straight-up anxiety-inducing. To the other, it's a surprise that dirt roads even exist at all. Didn't we get rid of those decades ago? But if the road is made of dirt, how will the driverless Uber know where to go? This is why Trump's President, ya'll!In one bubble, entertainment is taking in a show or a concert; in the other, entertainment is muddin' or taking random pills. One isn't better than the other. There are no judgements here. It's just that things that are absolutely commonplace in one world are so completely alien to the people in the other.On this week's podcast, city-boy Jack O'Brien is joined by columnist John Cheese, who still lives in small-town Illinois, and comedian Billy Wayne Davis who grew up in rural Tennessee but now travels the world and has seen the absurdity in how both sides live. Later, John Cheese and Jason Pargin (aka David Wong) break-down their formative years in small-town Illinois and how the death of the local business turned their community into a living hell.Make sure to get tickets to our next live Cracked Podcast on Saturday, April 8th at 7pm at the UCB Sunset Theatre in Los Angeles. Jack is joined by Daniel O'Brien, Soren Bowie and Katie Willert from 'After Hours' to talk about reboots we'd love to see, great movies hidden in bad movies and other movie ideas way too awesome to actually get made. Tickets are $7 and available here:  https://goo.gl/kTFUYQ Footnotes:Billy Wayne Davis on Twitter:  https://goo.gl/rJ1Fqh Billy Wayne Davis Live at Third Man Records: https://goo.gl/Niyn2N Video: Billy Wayne Davis on 'Conan': https://youtu.be/T8ShD0RzOsU Article: Cracked: 5 Things Only Poor Teens Understand About Poverty: https://goo.gl/GShCBq Article: Cracked: 4 Common Morals Designed to Keep You Poor: https://goo.gl/NPvnQw Article: Cracked: 4 Things Politicians Will Never Understand About Poor People: https://goo.gl/HWZuy Article: Cracked: 5 Telltale Sings You Grew Up Poor: https://goo.gl/Ct5kBf Article: Cracked: I Was Raised As A Racist: 6 Weird Things I Learned: https://goo.gl/IkwLlD Article: Cracked: How Half of America Lost It's F**king Mind: https://goo.gl/KBJs5W Article: Cracked: I Investigated Fox News' Poverty Claims (On My Mom): https://goo.gl/Lm8WqR Jack O'Brien's Playlist on Spotify:  https://goo.gl/hWjsFJ

We all know consciously to take advertising with a grain of salt. Those McDonald's burgers can't look as manicured in person the way they do in the ads. Examples like that are easy to catch. It's harder to spot false advertising when companies are bending the truth so much, your bullshit detectors don't know which way is up. Take Listerine mouthwash. It was originally sold as a surgical antiseptic until some ad men in the 1920s were like, "if we told everyone to wash their mouths out with this industrial cleaner every day, then we'd make so much money we could light our cigars with the cash, but how...". The answer was in a book of medical terminology. They looked up the fanciest word for bad breath -- halitosis -- and made an ad campaign telling everyone it was a chronic disease with only one cure."Hey, sonny boy! Does your dame ever tell ya you have bad breath?""Why, yes mister!""That's simply because you're dying son. Say here, drink this poison, BUT SPIT IT OUT FIRST. And do it every day for the rest of your life."And 90 years later we still use Listerine and still think halitosis is is a disease and not just latin for brush your damn teeth.Modern movies do this too. Sometimes if studios have a real clunker on their hands, they'll cut a trailer that's so unrepresentative of the movie, you would want to sue to get your money back. A lot of times this happens to children's movies with disastrous results for the parents that think they're about to spend 2 hours with a rapping kangaroo.So on this week's podcast, Jack O'Brien is joined by Cracked writers Carmen Angelica and JM McNab and producer Brett Rader for a discussion of horribly misleading movie trailers, straight-up advertising lies and the contemporary commercials that are messing with your perception of reality.Footnotes:Article: Cracked: Movies That Were Waaaaay Darker & Crazier Than Advertised:  https://goo.gl/w918NK Article: Cracked: The 6 Most Hilariously Misleading Movie Trailers:  https://goo.gl/9BLjqf Article: Cracked: 5 Things Movie Trailers Need to Stop Doing:  https://goo.gl/C8nfA5 Article: Cracked: 6 Dumbass Publicity Stunts That Fooled Everyone:  https://goo.gl/ypXnqc Article: Cracked: 6 Iconic Things You Won't Believe Began as Publicity Stunts:  https://goo.gl/0Rq4G Video: Helpful Honda Ad:  https://goo.gl/WfKsEn Video: Chevrolet "Real People" Ad:  https://goo.gl/PfPrvN Article: The News Wheel: Are Chevrolet's "Real People, Not Actors" Car Commercials Fake?:  https://goo.gl/aX2sua Video: If "Real People" Commercials Were Real Life:  https://goo.gl/n7agpC Video: Aaron Paul on The Price is Right:  https://goo.gl/LoUkIW Video: Josh Androsky on The Price is Right:  https://goo.gl/3abpcs Follow Jack O'Brien on Twitter:  https://twitter.com/jack_obrien Follow Carmen Angelica on Twitter:  https://twitter.com/c armesancheesesFollow JM Mcnab on Twitter:  https://twitter.com/jmmcnabagain Follow Brett Rader on Twitter:  https://twitter.com/brettrader