The Cracked Podcast

Hollywood’s villains are the luckiest people on the damn planet. Let's talk about climactic midpoint of The Dark Knight: The Joker stages an assassination attempt forcing Batman, but not actually Batman, to reveal his true identity just for the purpose of getting caught later, then forcing Batman Batman to choose between Rachel and Harvey Dent, who are rigged to perfectly timed bombs in warehouses somehow 20 minutes away from any police presence. How in the world did he plan all of that by himself and know it would all be timed perfectly!? What are all of the steps that the Joker would have to go through to ensure all of these events happened with Swiss precision? The weirdness goes beyond intelligent villains. How does the asteroid in Armageddon know to target our most famous buildings? In Friday the 13th, Part 2, how the hell did Jason Voorhees track down his victim’s house without a map, or a goddamn car? This week, on a very special LIVE podcast from Zanies in Nashville, Cracked's Jack O'Brien, Jason Pargin (aka David Wong), Michael Swaim, Soren Bowie, and Cody Johnson are joined by the Cinema Sins guys (Jeremy Scott and Chris Atkinson) to discuss some major plot holes from their favorite blockbuster movies.

You're on the 1970s game show "Let's Make a Deal," and you get to pick between 3 doors: behind one is a new car, and behind the other two are gag prizes. After choosing your door, the host shows you one of the doors the car is NOT behind and asks if you'd like to change your pick to the only other remaining door. What do you do? Common sense would prove that the host removing a door from contention has no effect. You had a 33% chance of winning a car and now you have a 50% chance. But what if we told you, by switching your decision, your chances of winning a car would go up to 66%? You would tell us to take high school statistics over again, but you'd be wrong. Today on the podcast Jack O'Brien, Dan O'Brien, and Jason Pargin (aka David Wong) discuss some of the more deceiving statistics in our world that prove that common sense is worthless and our brains are horrible at math.  This episode is sponsored by: Squarespace: Build a better website. Use offer code CRACKED to get 10% off your first purchase.  Mott & Bow: Jeans that look and feel good. Go to www.mottandbow.com and enter CRACKED at checkout for 15% off. Draft Kings: America’s favorite one week fantasy football site where you could win enormous cash prizes every week. Go to www.draftkings.com and enter CRACKED for free entry.  R&R Games: Time’s Up by R&R Games “The funniest game ever invented,” according to experts at BoardGameGeek. Go to www.RnRGames.com and use code CRACKED for 20% off.

You're on the 1970s game show "Let's Make a Deal," and you get to pick between 3 doors: behind one is a new car, and behind the other two are gag prizes. After choosing your door, the host shows you one of the doors the car is NOT behind and asks if you'd like to change your pick to the only other remaining door. What do you do? Common sense would prove that the host removing a door from contention has no effect. You had a 33% chance of winning a car and now you have a 50% chance. But what if we told you, by switching your decision, your chances of winning a car would go up to 66%? You would tell us to take high school statistics over again, but you'd be wrong. Today on the podcast Jack O'Brien, Dan O'Brien, and Jason Pargin (aka David Wong) discuss some of the more deceiving statistics in our world that prove that common sense is worthless and our brains are horrible at math.  This episode is sponsored by: Squarespace: Build a better website. Use offer code CRACKED to get 10% off your first purchase.  Mott & Bow: Jeans that look and feel good. Go to www.mottandbow.com and enter CRACKED at checkout for 15% off. Draft Kings: America’s favorite one week fantasy football site where you could win enormous cash prizes every week. Go to www.draftkings.com and enter CRACKED for free entry.  R&R Games: Time’s Up by R&R Games “The funniest game ever invented,” according to experts at BoardGameGeek. Go to www.RnRGames.com and use code CRACKED for 20% off.

Why don’t heroes have parents? Think about it: from Harry Potter to Luke Skywalker, orphans make up a dominant percentage of the heroic population. There’s something about dead parents that can make any character into an instant underdog. Even Superman, literal god-being, turns into someone we can root for when you remove his mom and dad (and also obliterate his homeworld via supernova), and the same is true of billionaire crazy-person Bruce Wayne. Why does this trend exist, and just what does it say about us? On today’s Cracked podcast, editors Jack O’Brien, Michael Swaim and Jason Pargin (David Wong) sit down to hash out just why this is. Whether it’s Guardians of the Galaxy’s Peter Quill, or Captain Kirk in the new Star Trek reboot, you can’t be a hero if you’ve got a living mom and dad. Even in the Donald Duck universe, everyone’s an uncle or a cousin. There’s a reason for this- and if you click this button here, you’ll learn what it is.

Why don’t heroes have parents? Think about it: from Harry Potter to Luke Skywalker, orphans make up a dominant percentage of the heroic population. There’s something about dead parents that can make any character into an instant underdog. Even Superman, literal god-being, turns into someone we can root for when you remove his mom and dad (and also obliterate his homeworld via supernova), and the same is true of billionaire crazy-person Bruce Wayne. Why does this trend exist, and just what does it say about us? On today’s Cracked podcast, editors Jack O’Brien, Michael Swaim and Jason Pargin (David Wong) sit down to hash out just why this is. Whether it’s Guardians of the Galaxy’s Peter Quill, or Captain Kirk in the new Star Trek reboot, you can’t be a hero if you’ve got a living mom and dad. Even in the Donald Duck universe, everyone’s an uncle or a cousin. There’s a reason for this- and if you click this button here, you’ll learn what it is.

Did you know James Buchanan promised to write a letter explaining every secret about his life, and then at the last minute had it destroyed? Or that the concept of "nuclear winter" was a load of B.S. invented by the KGB? Or that Diane Lane had to read the 'Man of Steel' script in extreme confidentiality, even though it's basically the worst movie of the last ten years? The world is full of secrets -- in a way that's deeply creepy and probably counterproductive. And, on today's podcast, Cracked editors Jack O'Brien, Daniel O'Brien and Soren Bowie bring together as many of those secrets as they can to see if they aren't all a little ridiculous. In fact, there are so many secrets in this episode that there's a whole 'nother person providing extra ones. "Mike" is a U.S. border agent and former undercover operative working against Mexico's drug cartels. He (OR SHE????) was featured on the site before in a hit personal experience article (read it here:  www.cracked.com/article_21257_5-i …rcover-agent.html) and on the podcast they go further into exactly how sneaky they needed to be in the shady, terrifying world of battling drug runners, human traffickers and more. From there, we pick apart the biggest secrets of our time -- why do only two people get to know the recipes for KFC and Coke? Did a secret government operation kill off key Italian political figures after World War II? Was all that official hand-wringing about WikiLeaks just a smokescreen for governments feeling really embarrassed? Find out before we're kidnapped and carted off to black sites by throwing on your headphones and clicking play above.

Did you know James Buchanan promised to write a letter explaining every secret about his life, and then at the last minute had it destroyed? Or that the concept of "nuclear winter" was a load of B.S. invented by the KGB? Or that Diane Lane had to read the 'Man of Steel' script in extreme confidentiality, even though it's basically the worst movie of the last ten years? The world is full of secrets -- in a way that's deeply creepy and probably counterproductive. And, on today's podcast, Cracked editors Jack O'Brien, Daniel O'Brien and Soren Bowie bring together as many of those secrets as they can to see if they aren't all a little ridiculous. In fact, there are so many secrets in this episode that there's a whole 'nother person providing extra ones. "Mike" is a U.S. border agent and former undercover operative working against Mexico's drug cartels. He (OR SHE????) was featured on the site before in a hit personal experience article (read it here:  www.cracked.com/article_21257_5-i …rcover-agent.html) and on the podcast they go further into exactly how sneaky they needed to be in the shady, terrifying world of battling drug runners, human traffickers and more. From there, we pick apart the biggest secrets of our time -- why do only two people get to know the recipes for KFC and Coke? Did a secret government operation kill off key Italian political figures after World War II? Was all that official hand-wringing about WikiLeaks just a smokescreen for governments feeling really embarrassed? Find out before we're kidnapped and carted off to black sites by throwing on your headphones and clicking play above.

Why do we listen to self-help gurus? It's not because they're all so much better at living than we are -- it's because we want to believe the path to success starts by asking "how" rather than just nutting up and starting. On today's podcast, Cracked editors Jack O'Brien and Jason Pargin discuss the myths we build around self-improvement. Diets focus on cutting carbs or sugar or fat, while all that really matters is being willing to sacrifice the part of yourself that loves eating to build a new person who loves being skinny. The method doesn't matter as much as the resolve to start doing something. Some cultures have no future tense in their languages. You'd think that might be a handicap, but people who use languages like English, with a future tense, are more likely to be obese slackers who wind up in debt. It seems insane, but the weird fact is our brains perceive future-us as a different person than now-us. That's why you'll eat a whole carton of ice cream at midnight, because obesity and diabetes aren't YOUR problem. They're some future asshole's problem, and screw that guy. See? Our brains are programmed to betray us. And media that shows off the absurd lifestyles of the wealthy and famous don't help matters. Rather than focusing on our actual options and the paths to success that are really open to us, we look at Kim Kardashian and secretly set 'born into wealth and celebrity' as our unstated, unachievable life goal. But if you throw on your headphones and click play above, we'll teach you how to fight back.

Why do we listen to self-help gurus? It's not because they're all so much better at living than we are -- it's because we want to believe the path to success starts by asking "how" rather than just nutting up and starting. On today's podcast, Cracked editors Jack O'Brien and Jason Pargin discuss the myths we build around self-improvement. Diets focus on cutting carbs or sugar or fat, while all that really matters is being willing to sacrifice the part of yourself that loves eating to build a new person who loves being skinny. The method doesn't matter as much as the resolve to start doing something. Some cultures have no future tense in their languages. You'd think that might be a handicap, but people who use languages like English, with a future tense, are more likely to be obese slackers who wind up in debt. It seems insane, but the weird fact is our brains perceive future-us as a different person than now-us. That's why you'll eat a whole carton of ice cream at midnight, because obesity and diabetes aren't YOUR problem. They're some future asshole's problem, and screw that guy. See? Our brains are programmed to betray us. And media that shows off the absurd lifestyles of the wealthy and famous don't help matters. Rather than focusing on our actual options and the paths to success that are really open to us, we look at Kim Kardashian and secretly set 'born into wealth and celebrity' as our unstated, unachievable life goal. But if you throw on your headphones and click play above, we'll teach you how to fight back.

Ever wonder if your garbageman is secretly judging you for your trash? Or, whether that trucker passing by can see you and your spouse fiddling with each other's dangly-bits? The answer to both of those terrible questions is, "yes." Cracked's spent the last year-and-change talking to people with jobs you never see in the movies, or read about in the paper. Ever wonder what life's like for a SeaWorld trainer? Or, the lady who plays Snow White at Disney World? The answer to both is, "drenched in sweat and surrounded by aggressively drunk people." On today's podcast, Cracked editors Jack O'Brien, Dan O'Brien and Robert Evans talk about the unsung heroes of our world: the bold men and women selling camouflaged drugs to people in jerk-off booths or having sex on camera for your amusement. Curious about life surrounding knife-wielding prisoners? We've got the wild stories of a former prison guard. Want to know if our future drone operators will be watching you have sex? They will! And, we'll tell you why. For these horrible truths and so, so many more, throw on your headphones and click play above. This episode is sponsored by: Squarespace. Build a better website. Go to www.squarespace.com and use the offer code CRACKED to get 10% off your first purchase! Pluralsight.com. Unlock access to the world’s largest tech and creative training library on the planet today by starting your free trial now at www.pluralsight.com