The Cracked Podcast

With all respect to Chuck Norris, has he ever carved his way out of an ice cave with an ice pick made of his own poop? Did Clint Eastwood ever kill a deer from 600 yards away ... with a pistol? Can Liam Neeson be credited with having saved A BILLION LIVES? The answer to all of these is undoubtedly no. But we know dudes (and ladies!) who have. Co-hosts Jack O'Brien and Michael Swaim are joined by columnists Soren Bowie and Robert Evans to take a trip through history discussing the badasses that we never hear about -- from the primordial badasses who we're all genetically related to to a 20th century explorer who amputated his own foot with a hammer. Throw on your headphones and click play above. We promise to give you stories that'll put Chuck Norris to shame. This episode is sponsored by:  Cards Against Humanity   Squarespace : Use offer code SPIDERS for a free trial.

Memes started out as the secret handshake of the Internet -- a way to let your peers know that you too were up-to-date on the latest cat macros and misspelled quotes from Japanese video games. But now the Internet has changed, and memes aren't what they once were. Cracked Editors Jack O'Brien, Soren Bowie and Cody Johnston explain how our tubes got clogged with memes, leading to planking, Tebowing and all sorts of other "memes" that spread purely because people wanted to see their faces on the news. We like to think of memes as one way people change the face of the Internet, but some memes change people. No one felt like "information wants to be free" until the Internet made it possible. Human language itself may have kicked off as a meme, the "I Can Has Cheeseburger" of prehistoric times. Throw on your headphones and click play above. This episode is sponsored by:Hulu Plus: Go to  www.huluplus.com/cracked  for a free trial.GODADDY: Click here to save 80% off and get your own dotcom 2.95

Memes started out as the secret handshake of the Internet -- a way to let your peers know that you too were up-to-date on the latest cat macros and misspelled quotes from Japanese video games. But now the Internet has changed, and memes aren't what they once were. Cracked Editors Jack O'Brien, Soren Bowie and Cody Johnston explain how our tubes got clogged with memes, leading to planking, Tebowing and all sorts of other "memes" that spread purely because people wanted to see their faces on the news. We like to think of memes as one way people change the face of the Internet, but some memes change people. No one felt like "information wants to be free" until the Internet made it possible. Human language itself may have kicked off as a meme, the "I Can Has Cheeseburger" of prehistoric times. Throw on your headphones and click play above. This episode is sponsored by:Hulu Plus: Go to  www.huluplus.com/cracked  for a free trial.GODADDY: Click here to save 80% off and get your own dotcom 2.95

When you hear the phrase "squandered premise," a few things leap right into your mind -- 'The Walking Dead', 'True Blood', Jay-Z's god-awful mash-up albums and every 'Jaws' movie BUT 'Jaws'. On this podcast, Cracked editors Jack O'Brien, Dan O'Brien and Soren Bowie figure out how all these failures might have succeeded. Maybe 'The Dark Knight Rises' would have worked if Tom Hardy had been the Moriarty to Batman's Holmes, rather than another problem for Bruce Wayne to punch away. A 'Jaws' sequel could have been brilliant if they'd just stuck to the true story that inspired the movie: a man-eating shark hunting through the rivers of New Jersey. Throw on your headphones and click play above to learn what should have been, and whether or not the Internet might be the greatest squandered premise of all ...This episode is sponsored by Naturebox . Click here for 50% off your first delicious box.

When you hear the phrase "squandered premise," a few things leap right into your mind -- 'The Walking Dead', 'True Blood', Jay-Z's god-awful mash-up albums and every 'Jaws' movie BUT 'Jaws'. On this podcast, Cracked editors Jack O'Brien, Dan O'Brien and Soren Bowie figure out how all these failures might have succeeded. Maybe 'The Dark Knight Rises' would have worked if Tom Hardy had been the Moriarty to Batman's Holmes, rather than another problem for Bruce Wayne to punch away. A 'Jaws' sequel could have been brilliant if they'd just stuck to the true story that inspired the movie: a man-eating shark hunting through the rivers of New Jersey. Throw on your headphones and click play above to learn what should have been, and whether or not the Internet might be the greatest squandered premise of all ...This episode is sponsored by Naturebox . Click here for 50% off your first delicious box.

Why is Hollywood allergic to female protagonists? It's not a conspiracy -- men and women alike tend to prefer films with male heroes getting the girl. Even Disney's most progressive princesses still wind up with huge eyes, tiny hands and every other indicator they can dream up to make the girl look vulnerable. Cracked editors Jack O'Brien, Jason Pargin and Kristi Harrison look into how pop culture's subtle sexism leads to people calling Sandra Fluke a whore for testifying to congress. Ever wondered why Hillary Clinton and Elena Kagan take as much crap for 'not being pretty' as they do for their politics? Throw on your headphones and click play above.This episode is sponsored by:Hulu Plus: Go to www.huluplus.com/cracked for a free trial. Naturebox: Go to www.naturebox.com/cracked for 50% off your first box of delicious snacks.

Why is Hollywood allergic to female protagonists? It's not a conspiracy -- men and women alike tend to prefer films with male heroes getting the girl. Even Disney's most progressive princesses still wind up with huge eyes, tiny hands and every other indicator they can dream up to make the girl look vulnerable. Cracked editors Jack O'Brien, Jason Pargin and Kristi Harrison look into how pop culture's subtle sexism leads to people calling Sandra Fluke a whore for testifying to congress. Ever wondered why Hillary Clinton and Elena Kagan take as much crap for 'not being pretty' as they do for their politics? Throw on your headphones and click play above.This episode is sponsored by:Hulu Plus: Go to www.huluplus.com/cracked for a free trial. Naturebox: Go to www.naturebox.com/cracked for 50% off your first box of delicious snacks.

You're being mind-controlled right now. The CIA and the NSA aren't to blame -- just holding a cool drink can make you decide someone has a "cold" personality. Just hearing words associated with "old people" is enough to make you walk at a slower pace, and even blind people feel more awake when you shine blue light at their face. On today's podcast, Cracked editors Jack O'Brien, Dan O'Brien (no relation) and Robert Brockway discuss all the tiny things that hack our brain every minute of every day. You'll learn which shade of pink stops violent psychopaths in their tracks and how the color blue can prevent suicide. Throw on your headphones and click play above. This episode is sponsored by:  Squarespace : Use offer code CRACKED for a free trial and 10% discount. Naturebox: Go to naturebox.com/cracked for 50% off your first box of delicious snacks.

You're being mind-controlled right now. The CIA and the NSA aren't to blame -- just holding a cool drink can make you decide someone has a "cold" personality. Just hearing words associated with "old people" is enough to make you walk at a slower pace, and even blind people feel more awake when you shine blue light at their face. On today's podcast, Cracked editors Jack O'Brien, Dan O'Brien (no relation) and Robert Brockway discuss all the tiny things that hack our brain every minute of every day. You'll learn which shade of pink stops violent psychopaths in their tracks and how the color blue can prevent suicide. Throw on your headphones and click play above. This episode is sponsored by:  Squarespace : Use offer code CRACKED for a free trial and 10% discount. Naturebox: Go to naturebox.com/cracked for 50% off your first box of delicious snacks.

Hey, did you know a group of America's wealthiest business owners once tried to lead a military coup against the President? It sounds like something a lunatic would shout at you from a bus stop, but it actually happened while FDR was President. And did you hear about the time the U.S. Air Force bombed San Francisco with viruses just to see what would happen? Or the time when our government poisoned 10,000 Americans to death with tainted liquor? And of course there's the time the Church of Scientology pulled off the largest intelligence breach in American history. It's easy to listen to the ranting of 9/11 truthers or watch insane videos about the Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 disappearance and dismiss all conspiracy theories as pure strain crazy. But conspiracies happen -- and on today's podcast, Cracked editors Jack O'Brien, Soren Bowie and Jason Pargin (aka David Wong) try to sort out the difference between the crazy ones and the crazy real ones. Throw on your headphones and click play above.This episode is sponsored by AMC's Turn. Tune in for the premiere on Sunday April 6, 9/8c on AMC