The Dating Lab

In this peek behind the curtain, host Alyssa Dineen sits down with two of her own Style My Profile dating coaches, Max Nussenbaum and Katherine Paulsen. Max and Katherine get vulnerable, sharing the real, unvarnished stories of how they met their spouses on dating apps. They dismantle the myth of "love at first sight," revealing how their own "slow burn" relationships started with less-than-perfect first dates and grew into marriage. This conversation is packed with aha moments about recognizing a sustainable partner, trusting your gut, and why the "best first date ever" might actually be a red flag. Max and Katherine pivot from personal stories to professional advice, sharing the single most impactful tips they give clients for crafting authentic, effective dating profiles that attract the right person.

You'll also hear about:

• (02:58) Max’s story of meeting his wife on Bumble and their journey to marriage.
• (08:08) Why a "too amazing" first date can be a red flag for future relationship success.
• (09:50) The crucial mindset shift: Separating what you're instantly attracted to from what makes a healthy, long-term partner.
• (11:05) The power of the slow burn: Max reveals his wife actively didn't like him on their first date.
• (20:22) Katherine’s experience of dating someone she was infatuated with versus the secure foundation she built with her husband.
• (25:26) The "Muted Version of Self": Why it can take up to five dates for someone's true, wonderful personality to emerge.
• (27:22) The ultimate question: How many dates should you go on before you call it quits?
• (31:39) How to have low-pressure "check-in" conversations in early dating to build trust and communication.
• (36:05) Pro Photo Tip: Use the majority of your photos to showcase personality, not just to prove you're attractive.
• (37:48) Pro Bio Tip: It's not what you say, it's how you say it—and how to find your authentic voice.
• (41:34) A game-changing hack: How looking at profiles of your own gender will instantly help you avoid clichés and write a better bio.

This episode is for anyone feeling fatigued by modern dating, wondering if they’re doing it wrong, or ready to shift their mindset to find a lasting partnership.

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• Learn more about Max on his Website

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In this heartfelt and honest episode, Alyssa Dineen sits down with author, podcaster, and dating success story Kate Anthony to talk about what it really takes to find love after a toxic relationship. After years of dating burnout and failed attempts, Kate found success using the Burned Haystack Dating Method, developed by Jennie Young, and guidance from Alyssa on profile clarity and preferences.

Kate shares how she revamped her dating app experience by ditching “dealbreakers,” setting smart boundaries, and staying radically herself throughout the process. She opens up about meeting Ethan - her now-fiancé - and how intention, ease, and emotional safety shaped their relationship from the start.

This is a powerful conversation for anyone healing from relationship trauma, redefining what safety and love look like, or ready to show up authentically in dating and life.

• (01:55) Kate’s decision to try dating again after years of being single
• (06:00) How she revamped her profile with Alyssa’s help—and got “no notes”
• (10:40) Burned Haystack Dating and using preferences, not dealbreakers
• (14:10) Ethan’s pink shorts, bold values, and why his profile stood out
• (18:00) Early communication green flags and the importance of mutual effort
• (22:30) The first FaceTime, a direct ask, and scheduling their first date
• (27:00) Chemistry, ease, and the importance of feeling completely safe
• (31:40) Dating after narcissistic abuse and rebuilding self-trust
• (37:50) Co-parenting with an ex and healing over 16 years post-divorce
• (44:10) Emotional abuse, gaslighting, and how Kate finally got out
• (51:30) Advice for newly divorced women and reclaiming sexuality
• (56:20) Why dating is not theoretical—and how to show up to learn

Whether you're navigating post-divorce life, dating as a parent, or learning to trust again, this episode is a powerful blueprint for clarity, resilience, and true connection.

Find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating or review and share it with a friend - it really helps new listeners discover the show!

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• Listen to The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

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In this thought-provoking debut episode, Alyssa Dineen welcomes professor, dating methodologist, and founder of the Burned Haystack Dating Method, Dr. Jennie Young. What began as a personal quest to fix her own dating app experience quickly turned into a viral movement empowering thousands of women and non-binary people to reclaim their time, agency, and standards in dating.

Jennie shares how her background in rhetoric and discourse shaped the creation of her method, why clarity and directness are game-changers in dating profiles, and what most success stories have in common. Alyssa and Jennie also unpack the current state of online dating - from gender divides to toxic patterns - and explore how choosing based on character over chemistry is transforming what makes someone truly dateable.

This episode offers a powerful mindset shift and real-world tools for anyone navigating the chaos of modern dating.

• (01:55) How Dr. Jennie Young used rhetorical analysis to decode dating apps
• (06:00) Why women are opting out of online dating—and what that means
• (10:40) Sexualization in dating apps and the rise of objectification
• (15:50) The five profile traits that lead to real matches
• (22:00) How to set boundaries that filter, not alienate matches
• (26:40) The culture shift toward choosing emotionally available “nice guys”
• (31:00) Why chemistry is not the best dating metric, and what to use instead
• (34:20) Dating profile red flags like height filters, vague clichés, and anger
• (38:40) Alyssa’s take on what truly matters when building connection

This episode is for anyone who’s tired of swiping and ready to date with intention, intelligence, and real hope.

Find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you tune in! If you love what you hear, leave a review - it really helps new listeners find us.

• Visit her Website
• Join the Burned Haystack Dating Method Facebook Group
• Read more about Jenny’s work on Substack

• Visit Style My Profile
• Follow Alyssa on Instagram
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