The Davenport

In this week’s episode, Jamie and Guy discuss “The Four Horsemen” by Dr. John Gottman. The Four Horsemen are four negative communication styles that can arise during times of conflict with our partner.  They include Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling.  In today’s episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the first two, Criticism and Defensiveness and how they can manifest when arguing with our partner. Dr. Gottman teaches the importance of navigating away from these negative communication styles to ensure a long-lasting relationship.  He explains it's natural to not always agree with your partner on everything but it's important to learn how to talk to each other when you don't agree.  Next week’s episode will tackle the other two "Horsemen", Contempt and Stonewalling.  

For additional reading material on this topic, Jamie encourages you to read:
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, PhD

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

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About  Jamie and Guy:
Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

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Shame is a very powerful emotion.  It is a feeling of being flawed, of not feeling worthy, a feeling of contempt.  In this episode Jamie and Guy welcome guest Mara Vernon, CPCC, PCC, CDTLF, to the Davenport to discuss shame and why it is so, so powerful.  They discuss shame's relationship to guilt, embarrassment and humiliation.  They discuss how we use "Shame Shields" (as taught by Brené Brown) as a way to disconnect or protect ourselves from shame. Most importantly, they provide ways we can manage shame by moving from shame to guilt, using breathing and physical exercises to help us recover, and by practicing empathy, both for ourselves and for others. 

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

About Mara Vernon:

Mara is certified in emotional intelligence, is a Trauma Informed Certified Coach (TICC), is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC), a Professional Certified Coach (PCC), a Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitator (CDTL), a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator (CDWF),  a Strengths Mentor and Advisor through Gallup, and an authorized partner and certified facilitator for DiSC. Mara holds a master’s in communication studies from UNLV where she taught interpersonal communication and speech, a bachelor’s in journalism from Northern Arizona University  where she taught photography and photojournalism, and trained in coaching and leadership through the Coaches Training Institute.

Get to know Mara better at: https://rippleadership.com/ and follow her https://www.instagram.com/marabvernon_rippleadership/

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About  Jamie and Guy:
Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

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Anxiety is a natural response to ambiguity or uncertainty. It shows up in many ways: the first day of school, having to do a presentation at work, playoff games, asking someone on a date, pandemics, political elections, social unrest, natural disasters...it's not hard to find something (or everything 😩) to be anxious about. In this episode, Jamie and Guy break it all down. They explain what anxiety is, what causes it , and why it has been on the rise in recent years.  They discuss the differences between feeling anxious versus having an anxiety disorder.  Most importantly, they discuss how to cope and manage anxiety - and when to seek professional help. 
If you're interested in learning more about anxiety and how to manage it in your life,  good news! Jamie and Guy just announced they will be doing their first live event  "A Night on the Davenport" to take a deeper dive into Anxiety, as well as it's friends, Stress and Depression. Come and learn more on this topic and bring you questions for an open discussion.  This will be a 2-hour in-person event held locally in Carlsbad, CA on  April 8th from 6-8pm. Space is limited so reserve your seats today at https://www.jamiepyattlcsw.com/

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Join us on  Facebook :
https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:
@thedavenportpodcast

About  Jamie and Guy:
Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

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On this week’s episode, Jamie and Guy revisit the theory of Positive Intelligence and inner critics or "Saboteurs" to talk about the greatest Saboteur of them all - the Judge.  Saboteurs are the voices in our head that generate negative emotions to the way we handle life’s challenges. They sabotage both our happiness and performance.  There are a total of ten types of Saboteurs including the Pleaser, the Controller, the Avoider, etc.  The prevalence and types of Saboteurs we struggle with can vary from person to person, but the #1 Saboteur for everyone is the Judge.

The Judge is everyone's greatest internal enemy. It activates our other top Saboteurs, causes much of our stress and unhappiness, and reduces our effectiveness. Jamie and Guy discuss how it shows up in all of our lives - judging ourselves, judging others, and judging our circumstances  - and share examples of times the Judge has interfered in their lives. They explain why it is the strongest saboteur,  how we can learn to faster recognize when it shows up in our thinking and what we can do to shut it down 🙌🏼

To learn more about Positive Intelligence and to take a free Saboteur Assessment Positive Intelligence  head to : https://www.positiveintelligence.com/  

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Join us on  Facebook :
https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:
@thedavenportpodcast

About  Jamie and Guy:
Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

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Most parents can agree that their number one goal is to care for and raise good kids.  Today on the podcast, Jamie and Guy talk with Dr. Aaron Cannon, Ph.D. in Psychology, about when parenting 'goes bad' and how to avoid common parenting mistakes. Drawing on his years of experience working with inmates in the California Department of Corrections (prison), to raising his own two children, Dr. Cannon discusses some of the most important things he has learned about parenting.  He stresses the importance of allowing our kids to make mistakes, apologizing when we make mistakes, being consistent in how we parent, and allowing our kids the opportunity and support to find out who they are, and who they hope to become ❤️  

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

For more information on Dr. Cannon's book, Education and Empowerment for the Twenty-first Century Parent: A Practical Guide For Raising Healthy and Well-Adjusted Teens,  click here: https://amzn.to/2OcfRyr

Join us on  Facebook :

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@thedavenportpodcast

About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

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Last week Jamie and Guy discussed the 5 Losing Communication Strategies in relationships and today they're talking about the 5 Winning Communication Strategies.  These strategies are taught and referenced from Terry Real's book, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work.  Jamie and Guy explain how the 5 Winning Strategies work to facilitate communication instead of hindering it.  For example, instead of trying to be right or arguing about who is right, it is better to listen with compassion to better understand your partner's feelings or point of view. Another way to improve communication is to request what you need instead of complaining about what you're not getting:( Also, Guy accidentally starts singing a Madonna song and then quickly apologizes 😂
 
We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

For more information on Terry Real's book The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work, click here: https://terryreal.com/product-category/books/

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

"Nothing is more important in our lives than our relationships", Terry Real, internationally recognized Family Therapist, teaches in his Relational Life Therapy courses. In today’s episode Jamie and Guy discuss his 5 Losing Communication Strategies that we are all probably guilty of using at some point in our lives. Control, retaliation, and withdrawal oh my! Join us as Jamie walks us through each of the 5 behaviors as Guy realizes tyranny is never the answer.  We're all guilty, you're not alone. Have a seat on The Davenport and let's reconnect.

And be sure to  tune in next week when we continue with our relationship topic and discuss the 5 Winning Communication Strategies :) It's a good one!

For more information on Terry Real's book The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work, click here: https://terryreal.com/product-category/books/

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Join us on  Facebook :
https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/
 
Follow  us on Instagram:
@thedavenportpodcast

About  Jamie and Guy:
Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

On this week's episode of the Davenport Podcast we welcomed Amy Adams, MSW, PPSC, to discuss teens and smartphones. Amy and Jamie first met in college while studying  social work.   Amy went on to get her masters from UCLA and then accepted a job with the Department of Child and Family Services in Los Angeles County.  Not only is Amy a seasoned social worker, she is also a mother of 4, an author of Screen Ed: Your "Driver's Education" Manual for Smartphones, and a member of her city's school board. When she's not busy working, parenting, writing or volunteering, she also loves to run. During this episode, Amy discusses her book and how she wrote it for her oldest child before he got his first phone. She knew firsthand the trouble kids can encounter with smartphones, and she wanted to prevent that from happening to her kids.  As parents of teenage kids, we soaked up all of her insights and advice on this topic and think you will too:)

For more information on Amy's book Screen Ed: Your "Driver's Education" Manual for Smartphones click here:  https://www.screen-ed-workbook.com/

Where you can buy Amy's book,  click here: https://amzn.to/3aLzpRQ

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Join us on  Facebook :
https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/
 
Follow  us on Instagram:
@thedavenportpodcast

About  Jamie and Guy:
Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy
 

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Many emotions have been felt over the course of the last year - uncertainty, fear, frustration, boredom - but the one Jamie and Guy tackle on today's podcast is loneliness.  People need people and are wired for connection.  In this episode, they discuss different times in their life they have experienced loneliness. From going to college, to running their own businesses, to homeschooling and remote learning, to being more physically separated from friends and family this year - they discuss why we feel lonely and how to manage it.   

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

 Join us on  Facebook :
 https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/
 
Follow  us on Instagram:
@thedavenportpodcast

About  Jamie and Guy:
Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

“There’s not one thing you can do to prepare for it,” our guest this week, Jill Beer (sister of Jamie) explains after suddenly losing her husband a few years ago.  Jill shares her story of how her life, and lives of her four kids, were turned upside down and how they moved forward through the grief to find happiness again.  Her inspiring story will help bring hope and comfort to those suffering with loss as well as insight and advice for those supporting them through such a difficult time.

P.S.  It might be difficult to tell Jamie and Jill apart during this episode, especially when they laugh 😂

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

 Join us on  Facebook :
 https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/
 
Follow  us on Instagram:
@thedavenportpodcast

About  Jamie and Guy:
Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show