The Divorced Woman's Guide Podcast

Ready to Break Free from Burnout and Guilt?

Discover The B Word Course by Wendy Paige Sterling—a transformative 4-module program designed to help you set boundaries that protect your peace, heal your heart, and command respect in all areas of your life.

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Do you want to know what your deepest divorce Super Power is? Of course you do! Take my brand new quiz and discover more about yourself and the super power you possess that will take you through divorce into your dream life. https://thedivorcerehab.com/quiz-start-site-podcast

I struggled with forgiveness so much. In fact, it was the hardest part of my recovery process after my divorce.

And I know you are going through the same things, too. So today, I'll be breaking down these struggles we experience as we get ourselves on the path to forgiveness.

I'll also be sharing why it's so important for you to forgive yourself so you can finally move forward into the new life you deserve.

Tune in to this episode: Why Forgiving Yourself is Crucial For Moving On

Key points covered in this episode:

✔️ Carrying guilt hinders us from forgiving ourselves. You may feel you're half-responsible. But guilt just gets in the way of you seeing your true worth.

✔️ Self-blame only fosters more shame. My kids heard me kick their dad out. It was difficult to process that it wasn't my fault. Trust me, you'll get to the other side.

✔️ Break the cycle of negative self-talk. No wonder our self-esteem is in the toilet. You're powerful enough to silence this pesky voice in your head.

✔️ Who cares what others think? You know yourself best. Being able to move on emotionally doesn't make you the villain. Say no to self-judgment.

✔️ Release the pain. Resentment is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Don't allow yourself to rot. Choose to step into that world of forgiveness.

✔️ Move into your new life by practicing these:

• Self-love.

• Gratitude

• Self-compassion

✔️ You deserve to forgive yourself. Nobody's perfect. We all make mistakes. What matters is what you choose to do moving forward.

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Connect with Wendy Sterling:

Website: https://wendysterling.net/

Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy

Twitter: @thedivorcerehab

Facebook: @wendytsterling

Order a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: The 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From "I Do" to "I'm Divorced" https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Sucks-Now-What-Yourself/dp/B0BVCWTFTR

Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07

A miscarriage, a huge Christmas Day fight, and the decision to make a change.

Jen Riday was able to pivot and find her happiness as a married woman. Through her experience, she proves to us that if you're feeling stuck, divorce isn't always the answer. Maybe all you need is an intuitive hit and the mindfulness to create time for your self-care.

Tune in to this episode on Choosing Your Happiness in Marriage with Jen Riday

Key points covered in this episode:

✔️ All you need is five minutes. Yoga is Jen Riday's choice of grounding activity. If you're scared of starting a new activity, remember that all good things are on the other side of fear. Your brain (and even your partner) will thank you for it.

✔️ Expand time. The more you believe you have time, the more it's true. Cut out activities that don't serve you. For Jen Riday, it's social media and streaming, unless it's with family.

✔️ Accept your partner's differences. They don't always have to enjoy the same things you do. But their presence and energy must transform you and allow you to live unapologetically YOU. Give each other the grace to let them be who they want to be.

✔️ How happy are you willing to let yourself feel? Your happiness is your responsibility, and you get to create it. Think of ways to make today great, and allow yourself to do it!

✔️ Happiness is the greatest gift you can give. If you can do the things that make you feel truly alive, it's not a selfish act – it's everything you need to share your vibrancy with the world.

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Dr. Jen Riday is the founder of the Vibrant Happy Women movement, host of the Vibrant Happy Women Podcast, and mom of 6. She resides outside of Madison, Wisconsin. She helps burned-out moms slow down and start taking care of themselves so they can get their sparkle back.

Website: https://www.jenriday.com/about/

Facebook: Jen Riday

Instagram: @jenriday

LinkedIn: Jen Riday

Twitter: @jenriday

YouTube: Jen Riday

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Connect with Wendy Sterling:

Website: https://wendysterling.net/

Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy

Twitter: @thedivorcerehab

Facebook: @wendytsterling

Order a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: The 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From "I Do" to "I'm Divorced" https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Sucks-Now-What-Yourself/dp/B0BVCWTFTR

Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07

This is a sign that it's time to make a change. Stop allowing the struggles and sorrows to steal more of your precious time. Acknowledge, feel, and release those difficult emotions, and you can finally leave them in the past where they belong.

Tune in to the ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ'ꜱ ɢᴜɪᴅᴇ show — 3 Steps To Manage Your Emotions and Find Healthy Ways To Cope With Difficult Feelings.

✔️ Stop being so hard on yourself.

Here we are, beating ourselves up, often playing the Should Have game. Humans as we are, we never have the power to see how our marriages can fail, or we can end up getting divorced. When you speak like this to yourself, ask if you would ever talk that way to your child, a best friend, a family member, or a colleague. If you can be an encourager to others, why are you blaming when it comes to yourself?

✔️ Release the pain.

If the pain's still not going away, what you're doing isn't working. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm inviting you to do something different. Allow yourself to feel it, to name it. Because when you do, you heal and release it. You stop giving it power. You stop giving it your energy.

✔️ Be gentle with yourself.

Going through a separation and divorce spurs the hidden pains of your past. By showing love and compassion to your inner child, you connect with the part of you living with that wound for so long. Allow yourself to see that you did the best you could with the tools and wisdom you had at the time.

Know that this isn't who you always have to be. You have the power to shift, and you have the ability to change. 👑

#divorceadvice #divorcecoach #divorcehelp

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Connect with Wendy Sterling:

Website: https://wendysterling.net/ Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy Twitter: @thedivorcerehab Facebook: @wendytsterling

Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2022-11

Order a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: The 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From "I Do" to "I'm Divorced" https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Sucks-Now-What-Yourself/dp/B0BVCWTFTR

Setting up boundaries is incredibly important for having the co-parenting relationship work. Learning how to communicate with an ex to make decisions for the kids is a lifelong skill you will require to ensure you achieve the life you desire.

Tune in to the ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ'ꜱ ɢᴜɪᴅᴇ show — Important Co-Parenting Boundaries You Need To Follow.

✔️ Refrain from badmouthing your co-parent.

As hard as it is, spurting negative things against our ex puts our children in the middle of our relationship with our co-parent, and that is not the place that our children want to be. What we need to do is put them in the center. That means keeping comments to yourself and separating your relationship with your co-parent from the ties they have with their dad or mom.

✔️ The communication that happens between our children and our co-parent is truly none of our business.

How often have you been tempted to pick up the phone, open a text message or make that call and intervene in the children's relationship with your co-parent, especially if you don't agree with what is happening?

Undermining this could be devastating and put your child in an uncomfortable and potentially damaging situation. Be supportive by listening to your child, creating a safe space, and encouraging a healthy environment.

✔️ Communicate with your co-parent in a businesslike manner.

👉🏻 Yes, you are in the 'business' of raising children.

When dealing with your co-parent, being businesslike means taking care of yourself, being thoughtful in your interactions, and choosing to respond instead of react.

✔️ Only communicate about your child.

Never make conversations a session where you are to personally attack him or vice versa. A lot of times, our co-parents try to manipulate us or to try to poke a nerve or to push a button that if we take the bait, then all of a sudden, it becomes about you and him instead of about your child. So remember to focus the conversation around your child; that is how you keep them in the center instead of putting them in the middle when it has to do with the two of you.

✔️ Communicate with your co-parent respectfully and disagree privately.

Even when you and your co-parent disagree, consciously hold back from the instant need to snap back and argue. It's not always easy, but it's certainly worth it! Co-parenting boundaries set you up for less stress and establish a positive environment for your kids.

Find success in co-parenting by establishing appropriate boundaries. Set yourself up for less stress and adapt these critical communication and decision-making abilities. Ensure that your kids feel as stable as possible and that you and your co-parent show you love them by making the best decisions with them in mind.

Access my CoParenting Apart full course here:

https://the-divorce-rehab-by-wendy-sterling.teachable.com/p/co-parenting-apart

#coparentingdoneright #coparentingapart #divorcedwomanguide

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Connect with Wendy Sterling:

Website: https://wendysterling.net/

Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy

Twitter: @thedivorcerehab

Facebook: @wendytsterling

Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com

Order a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: The 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From "I Do" to "I'm Divorced" https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Sucks-Now-What-Yourself/dp/B0BVCWTFTR

The way to unlock abundance in your finances and in every aspect of your life lies in one word: Forgiveness.

You may be wondering, "What does that have to do with money?"

You'll be surprised to discover that letting go of resentment actually determines your ability to be wealthy, successful, and joyful after your divorce.

Tune in to this episode on Take Control Of Your Financial Future and Create Abundance.

Key points covered in this episode:

✔️ Forgiving doesn't mean letting the person off the hook. Holding on to bitterness blocks that flow of abundance because you had set limiting expectations on what you wanted your life to be like with them.

✔️ Forgiveness is all about YOU. It's an empowering move! The frequency of forgiveness is a catalyst for you to fully heal and shift your alignment to what you truly want. It's a decision that's solely yours.

✔️ Forgiveness is an acronym. Letting go is as simple as this:

• Face it.

• Own it.

• Rectify it.

• Give yourself forgiveness.

• Ignite it.

• Vocalize and visualize what will come into your life.

• Embody your desires.

✔️ Look at what things in your life need forgiveness. Instead of making up stories about how you could've done things differently, why not write the NEW ones of you living your dream life?

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Connect with Wendy Sterling:

Website: https://wendysterling.net/

Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy

Twitter: @thedivorcerehab

Facebook: @wendytsterling

Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07

Money can be an overwhelming source of stress or anxiety before, during, and after divorce. While it can be difficult to confront $$$ issues, women going through divorce and debts can start recognizing that it is just a number. Taking that first step towards knowing that is something you should be proud of.

Our friend Britt Baker, the money management expert over at Dow Janes, recommends mindset shifts and a weekly money ritual to help you overcome the dread, take the burden off and make taking care of your finances a light and pleasant experience.

▶️ Tune in to the ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ'ꜱ ɢᴜɪᴅᴇ show — How Taking Care of Your Finances Is a Practice in Love for Future You!

✔️ Creating that financial self-care practice is part of the healing process.

Taking care of your financial health should be just as much of a priority as taking care of your physical and mental health. Have the courage to get to grips with your numbers, and don't delay it any longer. Financial wellness is the new self-care.

✔️ Shine a light on your mental relationship with money.

If you could manifest whatever vision you have, no matter the cost, what would it be? Imagine working on a blank canvas and painting the big picture for your life. See and feel what can bring you true satisfaction in your relationships, career, and finances, and you will find it easier to take concrete steps in making them a reality. Clarity is an essential element of financial well-being.

✔️ What is your own story that you're going to write with money?

Our concept of money comes from the mindset that our families passed down consciously and subconsciously to us. Making better spending and saving habits and becoming a more reasonable financial decision-maker requires altering our attitude toward money.

Britt recommends creating a clear picture of what kind of person we want to be when it comes to money and why we want to possess it. We should strive to write our own narratives rather than blindly accepting ones written for us.

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Britt Williams Baker is a Harvard Business School graduate, an expert investor with 10+ years of experience, and a money mindset coach.

She co-founded Dow Janes, to teach women+ how to take control of their finances with a step-by-step education and community of support.

Free Gift:

Free Guide to Creating a Weekly Money Ritual: https://try.dowjanes.com/ritual/

Connect with Britt:

Website link: www.dowjanes.com

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: @dow.janes

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/williamsbritt/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thedowjanes/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/dowjanesfinance/

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dowjanes

#divorcefinancialhelp #divorcefinancialplanning #financialclarity

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Connect with Wendy Sterling:

Website: https://wendysterling.net/

Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy

Twitter: @thedivorcerehab

Facebook: @wendytsterling

Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com

Marriage is hard. Deciding on divorce is even harder.

We have this internal conflict about whether to make the move because the choice impacts more than just us. Some will choose to cling to the illusion that things can be fixed or will get better.

But not all marriages are salvageable. And the best thing to do is to choose what's best for you.

Tune in to this episode on Steps to Determine Whether Divorce Is the Right Decision for You.

Key points covered in this episode:

✔️ Your communication is broken. Before the ultimatum, take active steps to resolve the issue. Ask for help from experts if needed. If the other person seems disinterested, that's your answer.

✔️ You feel a little suspicious about random acts of generosity. If your partner suddenly spoils you with over-the-top gifts, granted that they never did this before, this could be overcompensation for something they're hiding.

✔️ Divorce is in your mind during arguments. Intimacy should be created after fights. But if the opposite happens and the other can't allow space for your differences, that's a red flag.

✔️ Past memories bring more joy than the present. If you feel your marriage was better back then, work together to create more memories. Step back and evaluate if your partner refuses to participate.

✔️ You enjoy spending more time apart than together. Your partner should be investing their time and energy with you. See your worth. You don't have to settle for less.

Are you enjoying the show so far?

Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or leave me a comment down below because this greatly helps in spreading my show to those who need it the most.

An amazing community of women is waiting for you in The Divorce Rehab™. Join us now!

👉 www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy

Get VIP access to my upcoming book!

👉 www.divorcesucksnowwhat.com

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Connect with Wendy Sterling:

Website: https://wendysterling.net/

Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy

Twitter: @thedivorcerehab

Facebook: @wendytsterling

Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07

Where I'm at today is nowhere near close to where I used to be when I first discovered my 20-year marriage was over.

I went from having the rug pulled out of my life to creating this amazing present for myself, finding love, and building a six-figure business out of nothing.

It won't be easy to get there, but I want you to see me as an example that it is possible for you, too.

Tune in to this episode on Rebuilding Your Life after Divorce.

Key points covered in this episode:

✔️ Get out of your own way. Stop trying to learn everything by yourself. This isn't the time to prove anything. Having hands-on experience is where you start to gain real knowledge about where you are. And gather as much support as you can.

✔️ Put out a positive frequency with the Five Ds.

• Allow yourself to dream and believe they can come true.
• Declare your vision.
• Discover your superpower.
• Have the drive and determination.
• Have faith in the divine.

✔️ Look outside the box. See the areas where you need support. Find the right tools and strategies to heal your mind, body, and spirit.

✔️ Believe that you'll get there. If it can happen to me, it can be the same for you too.

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Are you enjoying the show so far?

Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or leave me a comment down below because this greatly helps in spreading my show to those who need it the most.

An amazing community of women is waiting for you in The Divorce Rehab™. Join us now!

👉 www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy

Get VIP access to my upcoming book!

👉 www.divorcesucksnowwhat.com

-------------------------------------

Connect with Wendy Sterling:

Website: https://wendysterling.net/

Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy

Twitter: @thedivorcerehab

Facebook: @wendytsterling

Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07

I was so terrified of how my children would react to my divorce.

I was willing to stay in an unhappy marriage because I didn't want them in a broken home.

But then, I realized I had to choose ME first, and I had the power to choose what my relationship with my kids would look like.

Tune in to this episode on How to Maintain a Good Relationship with Your Children after Divorce.

Key points covered in this episode:

✔️ No bashing. Kids are receptive when you're badmouthing the other parent. Don't make them feel bad for still loving your ex-spouse.

✔️ Don't ask your kids digging questions about what your ex did. You may ask them how their time went. Listen intently to their experience and let them have it.

✔️ Connect with your kids while they're with the other parent. For older kids, you can have video calls with them at the end of the day. Make them feel that you want to be a part of their life.

✔️ Don't let your kids relay messages for your ex. They shouldn't feel like they're in the middle of something.

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An amazing community of women is waiting for you in The Divorce Rehab™. Join us now!

👉 www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy

Get VIP access to my upcoming book!

👉 www.divorcesucksnowwhat.com

Connect with Wendy Sterling:

Website: https://wendysterling.net/

Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy

Twitter: @thedivorcerehab

Facebook: @wendytsterling

Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07

Overly-controlling and perfectionist parents and discovering her husband's addiction is what led international feminine-intimacy expert, Melisa Keenan to where she is today.

Taking a break from her marriage, she saw her relationship with her husband in a new light and unlocked a divine level of intimacy when they reunited.

"People need to know that it's not a fairy tale," she says.

She shares her valuable pieces of advice as to how you can also achieve intimacy and access your feminine energy – regardless of your relationship status.

Tune in to this episode on The Power of Intimacy with Melisa Keenan.

Key points covered in this episode:

✔️There are three ideas of femininity.

• Cultural femininity – Notions of femininity depend on one's culture.
• Masculine and feminine energy - Every person has them and demonstrates them in varied frequencies.
• Divine feminine - It is all the parts of what it means to be a full woman.

✔️ Intimacy is all about the present. To experience intimacy and closeness, let go of the past and don't be worried about the future. What matters is the now. There are practices that we mistakenly associate with femininity like organization and service, but they are inherently masculine as they demonstrate control.

✔️ Intimacy isn't just sex. It goes within, and even emotionally and spiritually. The physical act is only a gateway to intimacy. It involves safety, trust, and vulnerability.

✔️ We can't experience intimacy with another more than ourselves. Take a deep breath and notice the feelings in your body. Understand your emotions so you can find out what you truly value and want for the future. Being busy doesn't always mean self-healing.

✔️ Practice self-compassion. It all starts with putting your hand to your heart, telling yourself that it's all going to be okay so you can finally extend your trust bubble and let love in again in your life.

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Melisa Keenan is an international feminine intimacy coach, visionary, and keynote speaker.

She is the trailblazer of a movement of powerful women who pursue the fullest experience of life by embodying intimacy, and leading with their feminine in both business and marriage. Her clients are women who know that "living the dream" is only as fulfilling as their most intimate relationship, and their impact is only as wide as they are willing to go deep, within themselves.

Melisa's power lies in her ability to heal and claim joy for both herself and others, through the tremendous life experience she has overcome.

She enjoys dancing, singing, working, and praying at her hobby ranch in Northern Nevada where she lives with her husband, CJ, and their four children Elisagrace, Christopher, Daily Abundance, and Evelyn-Joy.

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Connect with Wendy Sterling:

Website: https://wendysterling.net/

Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy

Twitter: @thedivorcerehab

Facebook: @wendytsterling

Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07