The Financial Therapy Podcast - It's Not Just About The Money

Kirsten was divorced and had primary custody of her eight-year-old son, Jack, who spent every other weekend with his father. One Friday evening when her ex-husband came to pick up their son, he handed Kirsten a piece of paper and said, "Here is your check." Jack looked up at his mother and said, "Oh, so Daddy pays you?".  A divorce is more than the termination of a marriage. It’s also a major financial event that can have repercussions for many years to come. There is no greater threat to your financial wellbeing than divorce, unless you are very wealthy or very poor. In most cases, both former spouses will see a decline in their lifestyle. 

A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that drive our money decisions.
Join Rick Kahler, CFP®, CFT™, as he blends practical financial wisdom with the emotional insights that shape our choices. Discover how financial therapy can help you make money decisions that truly align with your values.. 

Last episode we covered the first 10 of  21 "Things your financial therapist wants you to know," by Bari Tessler, one of the early pioneers of financial therapy. I thought her points were excellent and worth repeating. Here is my take on the last 11 of them. 

A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that drive our money decisions.
Join Rick Kahler, CFP®, CFT™, as he blends practical financial wisdom with the emotional insights that shape our choices. Discover how financial therapy can help you make money decisions that truly align with your values.. 

Bari Tessler was practicing financial therapy before most of the rest of us had ever heard the term. A psychotherapist, Bari decided to go into the bookkeeping business, quickly saw the union of psychology and money, and in 2001 began calling her work financial therapy. I met her a few years later and have been a fan of her work ever since. Last fall Bari posted two articles listing 21 "Things your financial therapist wants you to know." I thought her points were excellent and worth repeating. Here is my take on the first ten of them.

A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that drive our money decisions.
Join Rick Kahler, CFP®, CFT™, as he blends practical financial wisdom with the emotional insights that shape our choices. Discover how financial therapy can help you make money decisions that truly align with your values.. 

Bari Tessler has spent over 20 years guiding thousands of people into happier, more empowered and refreshingly honest relationships with money. She was one of the early pioneers of financial therapy, and actually coined the term, by combining her Master’s degree in Somatic Psychology and her financial expertise in bookkeeping to create an integrated approach to deep money work.  Join Bari and Rick for an insightful conversation on how Bari became a leader in the field of financial therapy.

A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that drive our money decisions.
Join Rick Kahler, CFP®, CFT™, as he blends practical financial wisdom with the emotional insights that shape our choices. Discover how financial therapy can help you make money decisions that truly align with your values.. 

What makes life worth living? This question is at the heart of financial life planning and financial therapy. Where do we rate financial, emotional, and physical wellbeing? A recent study by Pew Research Center, November 18, 2021, on "What Makes Life Meaningful?’ finally resolved my curiosity. The survey asked respondents from 17 developed nations to rank 17 topics for their importance in bringing meaning to their lives. What do people around the world value in life as compared to the US?  The results may surprise you.

A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that drive our money decisions.
Join Rick Kahler, CFP®, CFT™, as he blends practical financial wisdom with the emotional insights that shape our choices. Discover how financial therapy can help you make money decisions that truly align with your values.. 

For our ancestors, even as recently as the 19th Century in many places, survival skills were hands-on. If you didn’t know how to build a house, farm, hunt, butcher animals, sew, and cook, you couldn’t provide well for your family. Money skills were largely worthless. It’s completely different today. Providing for yourself and your family requires knowing how to earn enough money, spend wisely, save for future needs, protect your assets, maintain good credit, and build an emergency fund. More importantly, you need to be able to apply these skills.  Read more here.  

A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that drive our money decisions.
Join Rick Kahler, CFP®, CFT™, as he blends practical financial wisdom with the emotional insights that shape our choices. Discover how financial therapy can help you make money decisions that truly align with your values.. 

New couples tend to be great talkers.  Young love can be a wonderful time of discovery and sharing. New couples, regardless of their ages, need to get to know one another and explore the possibilities of building a life together. They discuss their histories, their philosophies of life, their goals, and their dreams. Unfortunately, one thing young couples often don’t talk about is money, their money. We talk about the cost of government programs, the cost of living, our personal taxes, and public policy on taxing the profits of businesses. What we don’t talk about is our personal money.   

A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that drive our money decisions.
Join Rick Kahler, CFP®, CFT™, as he blends practical financial wisdom with the emotional insights that shape our choices. Discover how financial therapy can help you make money decisions that truly align with your values.. 

How do you feel about the rich?  While most Americans feel the rich are hardworking, only 10 percent think they are honest and one-third believe they are “greedy” and “self-centered.”  It makes sense that if most people have a Money Script (a belief) the payoff for hard work is dishonesty, greed, and self-centeredness, that they might not want to work very hard.  Money Scripts like these can keep you poor, according to Dr. Brad Klontz. Klontz.  The problem with negative Money Scripts associated with the poor is that they are only partial truths.  The article noted that many beliefs about the rich based on misconceptions.

A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that drive our money decisions.
Join Rick Kahler, CFP®, CFT™, as he blends practical financial wisdom with the emotional insights that shape our choices. Discover how financial therapy can help you make money decisions that truly align with your values.. 

It’s shocking how many engaged couples don’t have substantive discussions around disclosing their finances to each other, much less their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs around money. It's common to get married and later discover that your partner has a huge amount of credit card debt that was not disclosed. This secret often comes to light unintentionally when bill collectors start calling, money seems to be unaccounted for, or a couple can’t qualify for a mortgage. According to a study by Dave Ramsey, “the larger a couple’s debt, the more likely they were to say money is one of the top issues they fight about.”  

A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that drive our money decisions.
Join Rick Kahler, CFP®, CFT™, as he blends practical financial wisdom with the emotional insights that shape our choices. Discover how financial therapy can help you make money decisions that truly align with your values.. 

A reporter recently asked me how a left-brain, number-crunching financial planner ironically ended up being one of the founders of financial therapy.  The answer is simple, a divorce. Few would argue that divorce is life-changing and it was no different for me.  When my wife told me she wanted a divorce, my first thought was, “I am going to grow.”  Granted, that’s a strange first thought when informed your spouse wants to leave you, but it turned out to be 100% right.

A podcast that blends the nuts and bolts of financial advice with the emotions that drive our money decisions.
Join Rick Kahler, CFP®, CFT™, as he blends practical financial wisdom with the emotional insights that shape our choices. Discover how financial therapy can help you make money decisions that truly align with your values..