The Greatest Generation

When the woman who unwittingly modeled for Geordi’s favorite real doll boards the ship, the Chief Engineer is scrambling to understand why she isn’t as receptive to his romantic overtures as her lookalike. To make matters worse, an alien pot pie has been tossed at the ship, and the crew is having a heck of a time cleaning it off. Why won’t the Captain ever let Worf raise the shields? What ever happened to that calzone? Is this whole thing Guinan’s fault? It’s the episode where TNG goes full MRA.

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When Commander Riker gets injured on a first contact mission, his alien doctors examine all kinds of appendages they aren't familiar with. But while making sure he recovers as fully as possible, the leaders of the planet must decide if they want to enter an exciting, spacefaring future, or stay in the cold, microwave-less past. What is an "Implied Riker"? How many writing credits does it take to break a script? Does Riker "first contact and tell"? It's the first episode back from our tour and we have SO much to catch up on!

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When the entire crew passes out after traveling through a wormhole, the evidence starts to finally persuade them that Data is the gravest threat to the ship that they face on an ongoing basis. Now Picard has to go all Dixon Hill on everybody’s ass until he can get some answers. Will Data be stripped down to his wires? Where the hell was Guinan during this whole thing? Why can’t Worf be bothered to implement any basic security procedures? It’s the episode where Troi huffs some green paint.

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When "the devil" starts dropping bangers on an entire planet, it's up to Captain Picard to help fiddle their way out of a terrible contract. Unfortunately, his attire is completely inappropriate for the occasion. How many ziggurats are right for an agrarian society? Can an android get his tongue stuck on a frozen flagpole? Who's got Uri Geller vibes? It's the episode where the hosts go "fully-biblical"!

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Now that we’re finally into the meat of the series, we can really start digging into what matters most about Star Trek: The Next Generation: O’Brien and Keiko’s weird marriage. Why have they never talked about what foods they like? What does the Chief even like about Keiko? Why is she marrying him when his career is clearly in the sonic toilet? It’s the episode where we keep up with the Cardassians.

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When a Vulcan diplomat needs a ride into Romulan space, the Enterprise is her UberXL (if only to transport her giant Pope hat). Meanwhile, people are doing things that they think will make Chief O'Brien happy, with disastrous consequences. Is O'Brien in an arranged marriage? Is it hard to stay together when your ship is named "Divorce"? Does Data have "Incognito Mode"? It's the Nebuchadnezzar of bottle episodes!

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When Troi’s special power slips away from her, she wastes no time in throwing in the towel. It’s looking like the crew will need to get by with Guinan as the counselor. What’s up with communicator continuity in this episode? Is this the right bag to pack twelve iPads in? It’s the episode where we find out how pollination works, but also that Ben is kind of an idiot.

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When a twist beginning crash lands Captain Picard and young Wesley Crusher (The Boy?!) onto a desolate planet, the constant bickering drives the third wheel of their group to drink. It's too bad Commander Riker is too busy taking out someone else's trash to mount a timely rescue mission. What does it take to get a 6 star Uber rating? Are children chained inside the saucer section? Is this how radiation works? It's the episode where we introduce a new mountainside sculpture to our repertoire!

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When Riker inhales the wrong gas, his memory of the last sixteen years is wiped. He is the captain now, but he has no idea how he got there! Da fuq is Riker asking this turbo lift? Why is Worf so hunchy? Did they get that mask at the Halloween store? It’s an episode with one of the all time bad buttons.

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When Worf's ex-girlfriend beams onboard with the son he didn't know he had, it starts to affect his performance at work. Their domestic conflict has to take a back seat in the storyline when a diplomatic conflict heats up between two factions warring for control of the Klingon Empire. Is it appropriate to send an Evite to a political summit? How bad of a year do you need to have to forget that you were almost murdered? What's the most effective way for HR to approach a Klingon about his behavior? It's the episode we recorded from an internet ghost town!

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