The Greatest Generation

Tasha Yar’s estranged sister doesn’t just look like Sarah Conner, she’s the Enterprise’s only hope to help save some abducted crewmen. But her affiliation with the Confederacy has everyone on edge. Did these street gangs get their jewels from Logan’s Run? What Skynyrd songs does this fusion reactor have? What happened to that chip clip that used to be at the craft services table? It’s the episode that marks our formal entrée into 90’s haircast.

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When an old friend of Dr. Crusher's bails on their plans, she thinks he might have fallen on the ship and can't get up. But as her story begins to unravel, squints of suspicion abound from an unbelieving (and shrinking) Enterprise crew. How difficult is a three-finger handshake? Are scarves a good substitute for grass? How old is your oldest friend? It's the episode that came back from the dead!

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When the Enterprise crew finds a human survivor aboard a wrecked Talarian ship, the young man wants to be roommates with Captain Picard. Unfortunately, Picard's quarters is filled with glass tables and a knife collection. Why can't Picard recognize when someone goes "full vineyard"? Does "asymmetrical loaf" indicate a breakthrough in alien makeup design? Is a vest of bratwurst this year's hit Halloween party costume? It's part two of The Slickback Trilogy!

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When an innocent prank puts a little boy’s life in danger, it’s not great timing for Data’s dad to hijack his mind, and by extension the whole ship. Things go from bad to worse when Data’s brother Lore shows up, and Soong is blinded to Lore’s fairly blatant evilness by fatherly love. What was that situation on the Pakled ship like? What’s gonna happen when Data is up in the stirrups? Where do you buy those blankets for protecting an elevator on moving day? It’s the Klumpiest episode yet!

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While the ship is being duct taped back together after a certain ‘incident,’ the crew takes some time to dredge up grievances with their loved ones. For Picard, it’s his stridently conservative brother. For Worf, it’s his embarrassing parents. For Wesley (the boy?!) it’s an old holo tape of his dad’s that isn’t as exciting to find as that sounds. Are replicators just microwaves? Does retirement still make people crazy in the 24th century? It's the episode where we speculate about what ever happened to Jim Shimoda.

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When Commander Riker fires on a ship containing Captain Picard, it's finally clear why he passed up all those other promotions. But when facing an enemy who knows all his best moves, the newly-promoted Riker must resort to some unorthodox techniques to save the human race. Where is the USS Hood? What is a "personal banger"? How do you dispose of a pip? It's a great episode buried in a pile of garbage!

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When a hot shot young commander starts angling for Commander Riker's job, it is fortuitous timing that Captain Picard gets kidnapped by the Borgs. The newly-promoted Riker plays it cool while doing everything he can to get him back, but when Picard shows up on FaceTime with some gaudy new implants, he decides to end their relationship. What is the Borgs' target demographic? Is Commander Shelby giving off Ivanka Trump vibes? Does losing Picard qualify as "acceptable losses" to Worf? It's the episode where we do an unnecessary Indiana Jones roll!

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When the Enterprise beams aboard the mysterious survivor of a space ship crash, it's up to Dr. Crusher to nurse him back to health. But when the patient starts placing his "gifted hands" upon some of the crew, Captain Picard must decide if his crimes can be so easily wiped away. What does Geordi's VISOR smell like? Where can we get a "Body Glove Wetsuit O'Brien" action figure? Is this Worf's idea of dating? It's the episode where the hosts prefer the blue Powerade.

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Send help! I’m trapped in a podcast factory and they’re forcing me to write a capsule for an episode featuring Ferengis AND Lwaxana Troi!

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When a legendary Vulcan diplomat starts acting strangely ahead of an important conference, the Enterprise crew chalks it up to old age. But when his brand of mental disability becomes contagious, glass tables around the ship aren't the only thing in jeopardy. Can we workshop a worse throw-to-title scene? Is this episode "canonical Ghostbusters 2"? What happens to a kid at a bar fight? It's the episode where we learn, "Never mind-meld with your heroes."

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