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Today’s guest is an artist whose work quietly shaped an entire era of alternative and hardcore culture whether people realized it or not.

Melinda Beck is an award-winning illustrator, animator, and designer whose visual language has appeared everywhere from The New Yorker and The New York Times to album covers that helped define the emotional texture of 90s hardcore and post-hardcore music. Many of you know her work instantly even if you never knew her name.

Melinda is the artist behind the iconic cover of Quicksand’s Manic Compression  an album that didn’t just sound like tension, restraint, and pressure, but looked like it too. Her artwork captured something psychologically exact: intensity without chaos, emotion without excess — the kind of restraint that mirrors what so many of us were feeling at the time.

Today, we’re talking about the intersection of art, identity, subculture, and emotional expression — and how visual storytelling can hold just as much weight as sound when it comes to how we process who we are and where we’ve been.

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Addiction Is an Attempt to Self-Regulate

What if addiction isn’t about weakness… but about survival?

In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I explore the neurobiology of addiction — and why substances and behaviors like shopping, porn, alcohol, and drugs activate the same brain circuits involved in love, attachment, and emotional connection.

Research shows that dopamine, oxytocin, and the brain’s reward system don’t always distinguish between romantic bonding and addictive behaviors. When attachment wounds, chronic stress, or emotional overwhelm go unregulated, the brain looks for relief — and addiction can become a shortcut to feeling soothed, connected, or alive.

I break down:

• Why addiction mimics romantic love
  
  
  
• The role of dopamine and anticipation
  
  
  
• How shopping and porn addictions function neurologically
  
  
  
• Why willpower alone doesn’t work
  
  
  
• How attachment, trauma, and nervous system regulation shape recovery
  
  
  

This episode reframes addiction through a trauma-informed, neuroscience-based lens — without shame, minimizing, or romanticizing.

Addiction isn’t a moral failure.
 It’s an attempt to regulate pain.

If you or someone you love struggles with addiction, resources are listed in the show notes.

Support Resources

U.S. Based:

• SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP
  
  
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
  
  
• SMART Recovery (science-based alternative to 12-step)
  
  
• Alcoholics Anonymous / Narcotics Anonymous
  
  
• Sex Addicts Anonymous
  
  
• Debtors Anonymous (for compulsive spending)

Books

On Addiction & Neurobiology

• The Biology of Desire – Marc Lewis
  
  
  
• Never Enough – Judith Grisel
  
  
• The Molecule of More – Daniel Lieberman
  
  
• Dopamine Nation – Anna Lembke
  
  
• In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts – Gabor Maté
  
  
  

On Attachment & Trauma

• Attached – Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
  
  
• Wired for Love – Stan Tatkin
  
  
• The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk
  
  
• Polyvagal Theory in Therapy – Deb Dana
  
  
  

On Behavioral Addictions

• Your Brain on Porn – Gary Wilson
  
  
• To Buy or Not to Buy – April Benson (shopping addiction)
  
  
  

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Born and raised in Flint, Michigan, Danny Coburn grew up on Motown, traditional country, blues, and rock ’n’ roll. As a teenager, he cut his teeth playing in numerous punk and hardcore bands before leaning into rock and country in his 20s.

Danny spent his 30s with the jam-band–blues outfit Hill Country Revue, including seven years living in Memphis, Tennessee. Now in his 40s—and sober for over nine years—he’s come full circle, rejoining Whitey Morgan and the 78’s, a band he was an original member of in his 20s, contributing harmonica and background vocals.

In this episode, we talk about recovery, creative evolution, and what it means to return to your roots with clarity, growth, and hard-earned perspective.

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What happens when growth feels like guilt?

In this episode, I share something personal: the excitement of building a new life with my husband and the unexpected sadness and guilt of leaving my adult children in another state.

We explore the difference between abandonment and expansion, what attachment theory actually says about distance, and why prioritizing your marriage in adulthood isn’t betrayal it’s healthy differentiation.

If you’ve ever felt torn between loving your children and choosing your next chapter, this episode is for you.

Secure attachment survives distance. And growth doesn’t mean you’re leaving anyone behind. 💛

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Today’s guest is Thomas Vanderpol. Thomas is a dad, HR professional, ethical vegan, and straight edge since forever. Originally from Redding, California and now based in Portland, Oregon, he brings a lifetime of lived experience inside hardcore and punk both on and off the stage. With a deep background in touring, songwriting, and label work, Thomas has co-managed a record label and continues to write for bands, labels, zines, blogs, and social media, crafting everything from interviews and reviews to bios and press releases. At the core of everything he does is a commitment to Youth Crew, straight edge, skatepunk, and the belief that hardcore should be diverse, inclusive, and accountable. Thomas isn’t just talking about change in the scene he’s actively helping shape it.

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 We’re taught that being “nice” is a virtue.
 But what if some of the behaviors we call niceness are actually survival strategies?

In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist Podcast, I unpack the subtle ways trauma can disguise itself as politeness, agreeableness, and being “low maintenance.” We explore patterns many people mistake for kindness—over-explaining every no, apologizing when someone bumps into you, laughing off disrespect, saying “sure” when you mean no, and managing everyone else’s emotions before your own.

This conversation breaks down the nervous-system logic behind people-pleasing and the fawn response, why these behaviors once kept you safe, and how they quietly erode self-trust and boundaries in adulthood. We also talk about what healing actually looks like not becoming colder or harsher, but becoming more honest and self-loyal.

Book suggestions 

1. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving — Pete Walker (popularizes the 4F framework including “fawn”)
2. Set Boundaries, Find Peace — Nedra Glover Tawwab (clear boundary scripts + mindset shifts)
3. The Disease to Please — Harriet Braiker (classic on people-pleasing patterns + recovery steps)
4.  Are You Mad at Me? — Meg Josephson (people-pleasing/anxiety lens; mentioned in recent coverage) 

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Today on The Hardcore Therapist, I’m honored to welcome Kevin Seconds. Kevin is the frontman of the legendary hardcore punk band 7 Seconds, a group that helped define the sound, values, and heart of hardcore. For over four decades, his voice, lyrics, and presence have championed authenticity, community, and emotional honesty long before those conversations were mainstream. He is a prolific artist  and you can check out his art at https://rivingloomarts.bigcartel.com/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=pmax&utm_campaign=21775906273&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=

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In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I explore why overeating, bingeing, or restricting so often develop in people who grew up emotionally undernourished  even when their basic needs were met. Parents may have been physically present but emotionally unavailable, leaving food to become one of the earliest and most reliable forms of regulation.

This is not an episode about diets, discipline, or fixing yourself.
 It’s about understanding how the nervous system adapts to emotional absence and why willpower alone can’t heal an attachment wound.

I cover:

• Why food becomes a nervous system regulator
  
  
  
• The difference between “food addiction” and emotional neglect
  
  
  
• How restriction and bingeing can come from the same unmet needs
  
  
  
• Why shame, rules, and control don’t create lasting change
  
  
  
• What real healing actually involves; including grief, safety, and self-compassion
  
  

No numbers. No meal plans. No moralizing.

Just a clear, trauma-informed conversation about why your relationship with food makes sense  and what it’s been trying to protect you from.

Trigger note: This episode discusses eating behaviors and emotional neglect. While no instructions or numbers are given, the topic may be activating for some listeners. Please pause or return when you feel resourced.

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Today’s guest is Maria, the force behind Dollfest in Oakland, California. Maria created Dollfest as a radical act of space-making, centering women, femmes, and marginalized voices in a scene that hasn’t always made room for them. This isn’t just a festival; it’s community care, resistance, and creativity wrapped into one loud, defiant weekend. Maria is proof that when women build their own platforms, they don’t just participate, they change the culture. I’m really excited for you all to hear about her power, visibility, and what it means to build something on your own terms.

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In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I explore why emotional safety can feel uncomfortable especially after trauma, intense relationships, or nervous systems conditioned to unpredictability.

You’ll learn how trauma impacts attachment, dopamine, and emotional regulation, why calm can feel unfamiliar or dull, and how boredom in long-term relationships doesn’t mean something is wrong. We also discuss how to rebuild connection and emotional aliveness without recreating chaos.

This episode is for anyone healing from trauma bonds, navigating healthy relationships, or learning how to tolerate peace without self-sabotage.

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