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On this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I'm sitting down with Mike Judge frontman of Judge and, for those who truly know their history, the original drummer for Youth of Today. In other words… this one’s big.

Mike has been part of some of the most foundational moments in hardcore. His voice and presence in Judge were raw, honest, and way ahead of their time.

But what makes this conversation special is that Mike isn’t just a hardcore icon—he’s someone who stepped away, lived a completely different life, did real internal work, and came back with a groundedness you can feel.

In this episode, we get into all of it: the early days, Youth of Today, the rise of Judge, identity, growth, and what it means to be a whole human being outside of the mythology people place on you.

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Why does your brain always go to the worst-case scenario first?
 And how do you become more positive without lying to yourself or bypassing reality?

In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I breaks down the neuroscience behind negative thinking, why your brain is wired for threat, not happiness, and why “just think positive” doesn’t work.

Guided Mind-Mapping Exercise

Interrupting Worst-Case Thinking

You can do this exercise while listening or come back to it anytime your thoughts start spiraling. Grab a piece of paper or your notes app.

1. Core Thought (Center of the Page)
 Write the main negative or worst-case thought looping in your mind. Don’t edit it just get it out.

2. Name the Threat
 Ask: What is my brain trying to protect me from?
 (e.g., rejection, failure, loss, shame)

3. The Facts
 List only what you know for sure observable facts, not interpretations.

4. What Else Could Be True?
 Write 2–3 realistic alternatives that don’t dismiss reality, but widen perspective.

5. Regulate First
 Note one thing that would help your nervous system right now
 (slow exhales, grounding, water, stepping outside).

6. Intentional Positive Input
 Add one small, believable supportive thought not forced positivity.

This isn’t about “thinking happy.”
 It’s about helping a threat-wired brain slow down, widen perspective, and feel safer.

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In today’s episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I amshining a light on someone whose impact on the hardcore scene has been felt for decades—even if she’s rarely stepped into the spotlight. Tina Coyle, wife of vocalist John Coyle, has been a quiet yet powerful force behind Outspoken and the broader hardcore community. Introduced to the scene through John, Tina quickly became part of its heartbeat, traveling with the band around the world and supporting them through every era.

Her dedication to documenting the music—through photos, footage, and countless preserved moments—has safeguarded pieces of hardcore history that might have otherwise disappeared. Tina’s behind-the-scenes presence, steady grounding energy, and love for the community have made her an essential thread in the story of Outspoken and a beloved friend to me.

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In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I  breaks down what childhood trauma really is (including emotional neglect and attachment wounds), why healing can feel so confusing, and where to begin without retraumatizing yourself.

This is a grounding, research-informed conversation focused on nervous system safety, self-compassion, and realistic first steps toward healing especially if you’ve spent years telling yourself it “wasn’t that bad.”

This episode is not about blaming parents or reliving the past. It’s about understanding how you adapted to survive and how to begin building a safer present.

Listener discretion is advised. Take care of yourself as you listen.

Important note: This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. If you feel overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a trauma-informed mental health professional or a trusted support person.

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who might need permission to start healing slowly.

You can journal on these or sit with them quietly:

1. What did I learn about safety, love, or worth as a child?
2. Which of those lessons no longer serve me?
3. What does safety feel like in my body—if only for a moment?
4. What support do I resist, and why?
5. If my symptoms were messengers, what would they be asking for?

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Today on The Hardcore Therapist, Sarah sits down with her husband, Don Rossington, a key figure in the Bay Area hardcore scene. Don’s work with Second Coming HC, Breakaway, and Rabid Lassie helped shape the raw sound and spirit of Northern California hardcore in the early ’90s. In this episode, they dive into his journey, the scene that influenced him, and how music, identity, and resilience intersect in unexpected ways. Tune in for a powerful and personal conversation.

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 In today’s episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I breaks down one of the most common relationship struggles: the panic that hits when someone you love pulls away — even just a little. If you’ve ever gone into fight, flight, freeze, or frantic texting mode when a partner goes quiet, this episode will help you understand what’s really happening inside your brain and body.

We explore:

• How attachment patterns make distance feel dangerous
  
  
  
• The neuroscience behind panic and “rejection alarms”
  
  
  
• Why your nervous system reacts before your thoughts do
  
  
  
• How this pattern affects relationships
  
  
  
• And three powerful in-the-moment regulation tools you can use to calm your body and reconnect with clarity
  
  

Proceeds from this podcast go directly to supporting uninsured and underinsured individuals seeking mental health care.
 Follow, share, and help us get healing tools into more hands.

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Today on The Hardcore Therapist, we’re talking with Chris Lohman — guitarist, vocalist, and true veteran of the Southern California hardcore scene. Hailing from Huntington Beach, Chris has been part of the scene since the mid-’80s, playing in bands like Blackspot, Collateral Damage, Done Dying, and John Henry Holiday. He’s not just a musician, he’s also the founder of his own screen printing company, supporting the same community he helped build through decades of music, creativity, and DIY spirit.

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In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I breaks down the truth about perimenopause, menopause, and the massive impact hormonal shifts have on anxiety, depression, mood, sleep, and cognitive function. She explains why so many women are prescribed SSRIs during this phase — and why sometimes the real issue is unaddressed hormonal imbalance.

You'll learn the science behind estrogen’s role in mental health, practical tools to manage symptoms, how to find a menopause-literate clinician through The Menopause Society, and why hormone therapy can be life-changing for some people.

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Today on The Hardcore Therapist Podcast, I’m sitting down with Benny Capaul — vocalist and co-founder of the high-energy ska-punk band The Boy Detective, born out of southeastern Michigan’s DIY scene. The band, which began as a recording project between Benny and guitarist Nic Good, has evolved into a powerhouse of sharp songwriting, infectious energy, and emotional honesty.

But Benny’s story goes far beyond the stage. He’s also a fourth-generation funeral director and death doula, dedicating his life to helping people navigate the sacred transition between life and death. His unique balance between creating music that celebrates life and holding space for grief and mortality offers a profound perspective on what it means to be human — to feel deeply, love fiercely, and honor every ending as much as every beginning.

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 If that question hits a nerve, this episode is for you.

In this powerful, science-backed episode of The Hardcore Therapist,I breaks down why so many of us become people-pleasers — from attachment to nervous system conditioning to psychological theories like the Sociometer Theory, Self-Determination Theory, and self-silencing research.

You’ll learn:
  The neuroscience and psychology behind people-pleasing
 How chronic performing disconnects you from your authentic self
 ACT-, CBT-, and IFS-informed strategies to break the cycle
  Boundary scripts, micro-no’s, and behavioral experiments
 A 2-minute guided practice to help you reconnect with your values

If you’ve ever felt like your worth depends on staying likable, agreeable, or accommodating, this episode will help you reclaim your identity — without guilt, without shame, and without performing.

Listen now and start becoming the version of yourself you actually recognize.

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