“I would stay in a dumpster overnight with you.”

This week’s all-too-real horror movie is The Purge: Anarchy. This film has everything: Dumpster survival strategies, rich psychos in cocktail attire, and a Frank Castle stand-in that just can't shake these "hangers on." If you love movies that sound like they were written by the lyrics to a Rage Against The Machine song, this episode’s for you.

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Up Next: What Lies Beneath (2000)

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“If your daughter’s in a drawer, it’s too late.”

This week’s horniest horror movie is… Silent Hill. This film has everything: A giant sexy demon that just can't wait to rip everything off you. A cop whose clearly not dressed for the day she's having. And a mom thats just asking if we could tell her how to get, how to get to Silent Hill. If you love horny cosplay, questionable law enforcement fashion, and children’s theme songs reimagined for the apocalypse, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: The Purge: Anarchy (2014)

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"It's only car chase I can describe as dialogue-heavy."

This week’s scariest movie is... Death Proof. This film has everything: A scar that somehow makes it hotter that he’s murdering you, foot close-ups, and a theory that will have kit marlowe scratching Shakespeare's head. If you love Snake Plissken thirst, feet you didn’t consent to seeing, and the cursed brilliance of #Sorkentino, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Silent Hill (2006)

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"Is this just Fight Club in the 80s?"

This week’s most unhinged highway horror is The Hitcher (1986). This film has everything: Gas station explosions, Tyler Durden cosplay, and a Swedish-American shoulder-width that brings all the Pages to the yard. If you love shoulder theories, not know if Rutger Hauer wants to kill or fuck you, and cops doing the absolute least, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Death Proof (2007)

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"Have you never had a boba pee?"

This week’s scariest road trip movie is... Wrong Turn 2: Dead End. This film has everything: A reality show where the prize is dying first. A muscle-bound host with drill sergeant energy who shoves dynamite in a dude’s overalls just to watch him pop. And a final girl redemption arc so meaty, you’ll swear this movie was funded by NAMI. If you love chainsaws, carnivore propaganda, and Papa Rollins dispatching hillbillies like they’re Nazis at a Black Flag concert, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: The Hitcher (1986)

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This week’s scariest movie is... Friday the 13th (2009).

This film has everything: an underground tunnel empire straight out of Gummy Bears, using a machete to hack away at a public library keyboard, and a burial comparison you will not see coming.

If you love quick tunnels, blunt trauma, and silent killers typing with bladed weapons, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007)

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“It’s an R&B Blade.”

This week’s coolest horror movie is... Sinners. This film has everything: A team up so legend Nick Fury would be jealous, Uncles reminding the nephew to eat, and both Michael A, and B Jordan's doing their best to protect their culture. If you love demon-slaying jazz clubs, delightful doormen named after bread, and learning that the clitoris is not in the glovebox, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Wrong Turn 2 (2007)

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“The monkey is basically Tommy Lee, and I'm sick of pretending not to notice.”

This week’s most unhinged horror movie is... The Monkey. This film has everything: An electric detonation, A stripper face reveal that will blow your mind, and a haunted toy chimp that was just following orders. If you love flamethrower pawn shops, placenta-fueled twin rage, and Planet of the Apes energy with zero restraint, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Sinners (2025)

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“He's made of knife.”

This week’s slimiest horror movie is... Terminator 2: Judgment Day. This film has everything: a corrupted Windows version of Gollum, a reality where John Connor skips leading the resistance and just lives his best life frothing lattes at a Glendale café, and a robot so anatomically gifted he can slice a sandwich with his knife-dick like he’s the deli manager at Skynet Whole Foods. If you love liquid metal weirdos, alternate destinies, and phallic cutlery, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: The Monkey 2 (2025)

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"Psytopics is like R&B Dianetics."

This week’s most unapologetically anti-fascist horror movie is... Freaky Tales. This film has everything: A Scott Pilgrim-style street brawl between punks and Nazis, a soft-spoken supervillain who can make a lisp sound menacing, and Sleepy Floyd, a samurai warrior who dunks on racists AND slices them in half. If you love magical realism, anarchist justice, and movies that ask, “What if vibes were weapons?”, this episode’s for you.

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Up Next: TERMINATOR 2 (1991)

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