“I’m just impressed by the loyalty of the Funky Bunch.”

This week’s most unhinged horror-thriller is… Fear. This film has everything: the unwavering loyalty of the Funky Bunch, the death of a german Kaiser, and a crew you can’t tell is a rock band or the Bling Ring…but either way, they’re showing up to your house and it’s not for rehearsal. If you love questionable life choices, possible paternal Bass Players, and home invasions with a soundtrack that slaps, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Bones and All (2022)

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"You're the hottest person at your college and dumb enough to get kidnapped."

This week’s most scariest horror movie is I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. This film has everything: Jamiroquai in a murder poncho, A lost live action Scooby-Doo episode. And a six-shooter that fires eight times. If you love karaoke, seafood mascots, and Jennifer Love Hewitt losing a fight to basic geography, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Fear (1996)

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“If turtles are flightless birds, is lasagna a cake?”

This week’s most requested horror movie is Willy’s Wonderland. This film has everything: A silent janitor with zero follow-up questions. Animatronic Pizzagate. And a haunted true crime original story of convoluted that you'd need five nights to sort it out. If you love flightless turtles, debt-era Nic Cage energy, and animatronics get curb-stomped, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)

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“That necklace should only be viewed through a hand mirror.”

This week’s scariest horror movie is What Lies Beneath. This film has everything: ghost girls with boundary issues, true crime witchcraft girlies, and a husband who invents the biggest red flag ever. If you like a movie that dares to ask the question, Can Han Solo act? This episode is for you.

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Up Next: Willy's Winderland (2021)

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“I would stay in a dumpster overnight with you.”

This week’s all-too-real horror movie is The Purge: Anarchy. This film has everything: Dumpster survival strategies, rich psychos in cocktail attire, and a Frank Castle stand-in that just can't shake these "hangers on." If you love movies that sound like they were written by the lyrics to a Rage Against The Machine song, this episode’s for you.

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Up Next: What Lies Beneath (2000)

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“If your daughter’s in a drawer, it’s too late.”

This week’s horniest horror movie is… Silent Hill. This film has everything: A giant sexy demon that just can't wait to rip everything off you. A cop whose clearly not dressed for the day she's having. And a mom thats just asking if we could tell her how to get, how to get to Silent Hill. If you love horny cosplay, questionable law enforcement fashion, and children’s theme songs reimagined for the apocalypse, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: The Purge: Anarchy (2014)

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"It's only car chase I can describe as dialogue-heavy."

This week’s scariest movie is... Death Proof. This film has everything: A scar that somehow makes it hotter that he’s murdering you, foot close-ups, and a theory that will have kit marlowe scratching Shakespeare's head. If you love Snake Plissken thirst, feet you didn’t consent to seeing, and the cursed brilliance of #Sorkentino, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Silent Hill (2006)

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"Is this just Fight Club in the 80s?"

This week’s most unhinged highway horror is The Hitcher (1986). This film has everything: Gas station explosions, Tyler Durden cosplay, and a Swedish-American shoulder-width that brings all the Pages to the yard. If you love shoulder theories, not know if Rutger Hauer wants to kill or fuck you, and cops doing the absolute least, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Death Proof (2007)

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"Have you never had a boba pee?"

This week’s scariest road trip movie is... Wrong Turn 2: Dead End. This film has everything: A reality show where the prize is dying first. A muscle-bound host with drill sergeant energy who shoves dynamite in a dude’s overalls just to watch him pop. And a final girl redemption arc so meaty, you’ll swear this movie was funded by NAMI. If you love chainsaws, carnivore propaganda, and Papa Rollins dispatching hillbillies like they’re Nazis at a Black Flag concert, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: The Hitcher (1986)

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This week’s scariest movie is... Friday the 13th (2009).

This film has everything: an underground tunnel empire straight out of Gummy Bears, using a machete to hack away at a public library keyboard, and a burial comparison you will not see coming.

If you love quick tunnels, blunt trauma, and silent killers typing with bladed weapons, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007)

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