I cannot even express my gratitude to allow me to be part of this course and I am thrilled I reached out, that I was pointed into your direction.

I have seen so much from day one and today I understood every word you said, it resonated, because I have just been through a serious of very painful (the bodymind expressed it as stress and anguish) experiences in a relationship.

I did not turn away from it. By blaming the other (as we do) and at the same time being open and curious about it I was shown where I was coming from: my need to be wanted, my perceived lack, the excruciating pain that comes from not  having this need met by the other (who claims he loves me with all his heart but needs to get on with his life dating other women due to us not being able to be together- we live on different continents). 

More than that I was taken to my childhood to see where some of those believes originated and how I have been continually reinforcing those believes in all areas of my life, not just in relationships.

Regarding him.....I woke up one morning and I simply did not want him anymore in that way after seeing where it all came from. I am seeing him totally different now, able to communicate on a very different level to before.

I am at peace for him to do what he clearly has to do, get on with his life (I always understood this intellectually but inside me the lack and jealousy were tearing down bridges between us).

It also caused me to judge myself for being so silly.

So, I need to shout out a Huge Thank You. I am soooooooooooooo grateful to your course, for my insights engendered by it.

I do have a question. 

I am now putting up boundaries between myself and the other. In his mind it would be totally ok for us to continue seeing each other when we have the opportunity. I don't want to do that. 

Partly because I really do not feel the need anymore (wow), though what we had was very beautiful. But I suspect there is more behind it. 

My question is? Why can I not just be open to that? Why does it make me feel used? Is this a reality or am I making this up? 

Perhaps I should just be open to continue exploring  this question?