This episode was never supposed to exist. Mental health “rules” say patients and psychiatrists shouldn’t share power, shouldn’t speak publicly as equals, and definitely shouldn’t build a show together. Yet here we are — over 100 episodes in, winning awards, and recording our first-ever in-person episode.

In this special behind-the-scenes conversation, we pull back the curtain on “Inside Bipolar”: why so many doctors refused to participate, why patient-led advocacy makes professionals uncomfortable, and why influencer culture both helps and harms people living with bipolar disorder. We talk candidly about distrust of psychiatry, accusations of selling out, the rise of misinformation, and why scared people cling to loud voices over evidence. We also go somewhere rarely discussed in mental health media: self-doubt, self-deprecation, and the reality that success with bipolar disorder often looks painfully ordinary.

Listener takeaways

No toxic positivity. No “inspiration porn.” No pretending recovery is a mountaintop moment. Just two people — one with lived experience, one with medical expertise — talking honestly about what actually helps, what doesn’t, and why this unlikely partnership changed how both of us see mental illness, advocacy, and each other.

Cold Open Transcript:

Dr. Nicole: Which one is the real Gabe? You put yourself down, actually, quite a bit. Do you really have a low opinion of yourself? Like, are you fundamentally like this guy who really thinks, like, I suck, and I just get up every day and put one foot in front of the other one and do the best I can? Or do you have a lot of confidence because you, almost at the same time, have to have a ton of confidence to get in front of the camera and do the speaking and do all the things.

Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning podcast host, author, and sought-after suicide prevention and mental health speaker, but he wouldn’t be any of those things today if he hadn’t been committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003.
Gabe also hosts Healthline's Inside Mental Health podcast has appeared in numerous publications, including Bipolar magazine, WebMD, Newsweek, and the Stanford Online Medical Journal. He has appeared on all four major TV networks, ABC, NBC, CBS, and FOX.
Among his many awards, he is the recipient of Mental Health America’s Norman Guitry Award, received two Webby Honoree acknowledgements, and received an official resolution from the Governor of Ohio naming him an “Everyday Hero.”

Gabe wrote the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are available directly from the author with free swag included! To learn more about Gabe, or to book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa.
Since completing her residency training, Dr. Nicole has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com.

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