The Juggling Act

Somedays I just feel like I’m on a treadmill that I can’t get off. Get up, feed small people, try to get ready (lucky bras and make up are off the table right now), get them to school / care, work, try to exercise, try to eat properly, sleep, repeat. My wellbeing usually comes last, and it’s just exhausting. So I reached out to the divine Tiff Hall – founder of online health and fitness program tiffxo for some guidance on how to press the reset button and break this cycle.  

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I don’t feel like I’ve been putting that much more food in my mouth since isolation started and I’ve actually been exercising more, but somehow those nasty Covid kilos have crept up on me - specifically around the booty area. So I put in a desperate call to nutritionist, exercise scientist and mother-of-two Brooke Turner to find out where I’m going wrong.  

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I feel like those angry parenting ads are constantly popping up in my Facebook feed. Like is Zuckerberg actually listening to me lose my mind at my kids? I know we all do it. They push and push and push until we yell, then we feel bad and vow to try and find a way to keep our cool. But this parenting gig is damn hard. They push buttons we never thought we had. As they get older I think I’m getting a little bit better at it, but I really wish I could be super chill all the time. Work, life, money, they all add to the stress of life and sometimes that just feels like an impossible goal. One mum who is also trying to find her ‘Zen’ is actress and mum of three Teresa Palmer. She’s actually written a book about it with her friend and co-founder of the popular blog Zen Mumma, Sarah Wright Olsen. It’s called 'Zen Mamas' and is all about trying to help us through pregnancy, birth and beyond. So I asked Teresa to give me some advice on how I can try to attain some ‘Zen’, or least strive for a bit of ‘Zen-ish’.   

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Look I’m not a gym person, I only started going a year ago after I had knee surgery. So it was really only out of necessity. But I know they’re a sanctuary for a lot of working parents who need a break and to do something for themselves. I’ve also really felt for all the gyms going under during Covid, I’ve heard so many stories of businesses that just couldn’t afford to ride things out and it's just crushing. One that managed to stay afloat by pivoting VERY quickly, is Flow Athletic in Sydney. It’s run by Ben Lucas who is also a dad of two little ones with his journalist wife Talitha Cummins - a previous guest on The Juggling Act. So I reached out to him to find out how he kept his business running with the Covid closures, especially with two little people at home.  

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We’ve had a great break from all the extra-curricula activities that kids do, and it’s been nice not to spend weekends rushing from one thing to the next. But things are starting to kick off again (pun intended) and while I’m dreading standing out in the cold at 9.30 on Saturday morning as my daughter TRIES to play netball, she’s super excited. Mostly about wearing the uniform which I get, it is cute. I grew up in a sporting household and it taught me so many things - Resilience, teamwork, confidence, social skills, and yup, a competitive streak. So it’s something I’m encouraging in my kids too. One person who totally gets that is sports journalist and mum of two girls Sam Squiers. When Sam had her first daughter, she wanted to find a book about girls in sport to read her and couldn’t find any – so she wrote one herself! I’ve read it to both my kids and they loved it, so I reached out to Sam to find out a bit more behind why it’s important to send a powerful message to girls about sport from an early age.  

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Sharing children's pictures on social is something everyone has an opinion on, and before I had my first child, my husband was pretty vocal about us not showing pictures once the baby arrived. I’ll be honest, I didn’t get it. But I decided that if he was that passionate about it, then, of course, I wouldn’t do it, but I wasn’t quite sure why it meant so much. In time my husband changed his mind and now we both put up photos but I didn’t get his initial issue… Recently I posted a pic with my youngest sitting in the pram, with two fingers firmly shoved up his nose, joking that he wasn’t destined to be an astrophysicist. One person asked me about my son’s rights in this situation. Was it fair to not only post pictures of him when he’s too young to say he’s ok with it, but pictures that show him in an unflattering light?  

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We all know that women generally take on the lion's share of domestic duties within the household. Sure, we may have come a long way since the days of Suzie homemaker having the house spotless to greet her breadwinner husband at the door with a martini in hand, but many will argue that not enough has progressed in terms of gender equality over the last few decades. Well turns out we may now have the global pandemic to thank for changing all that.  

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When I was growing up I always wanted to be a presenter on Play School. True story. I used to make my siblings act out stories with me and all our stuffed toys, while my parents taped us on the old Sony camcorder. Then I’d watch them over and over, thinking of ways I could improve my 'performance'. From there my dream moved onto acting, before my dad in no uncertain terms told me that I’d starve if I chose that as a profession because I would never make any money. Not sure if he was being practical or doubting my talent…. Anyway, one person who did follow her dream of becoming an actor is author and mum-of-two Anna Downes. I tore through her debut novel The Safe Place last weekend, and it’s been a while since I read a book that I just couldn’t put down. So I asked if she would share more about her story with us, how she quit her dream job to write, and how it ultimately ended up saving her life.  

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Confession time. I’m panicking about the email we just got saying we have to return to the office. Yup, I never thought I’d say this, but I’m actually anxious about going back to the workplace - I'm kind of liking it now. It was difficult in the beginning when we didn’t know how long we were going to be working from home (I love how that even has an acronym now – you WFH? – yeah, few months…). Now I’m struggling to process actually being back around people and in proper work clothes. And getting public transport, around actual people. If you’re feeling a bit the same and wondering what your rights are around returning to work and flexible work arrangements, well I reached to Alison Dutton, principal solicitor and founder at Labour Pains Legal to find out more.   

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Babysitting is an interesting job because I think most of us have done it and were probably very young the first time. I mean, I remember looking after a family friend’s kids at night… and they would have been about 2 and 5. I was 16. At the time I thought nothing of it… We have had a few babysitters since the boys were born, and from around the 6-week mark with each, because I was back to work quite quickly. They’ve all been lovely but a serious mix in age and experience. Funnily enough though, there has been a point with each of them (regardless of their age or anything else) when I have of course wondered what was going on when I wasn’t there… and I've actually worked myself into such a stress that I’ve contemplated using a hidden camera to check on them. So is that ever okay?  

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