The Juggling Act

I had a particularly stressful day at work last week and a colleague said to me, you can have an extra glass of wine tonight and I thought, ‘I really don’t need permission for that because I’m already drinking too much’!  And that’s a familiar story across the country with a recent poll finding that 70% of people are drinking more since the COVID-19 outbreak in Australia and over a third say they are drinking every day. And I get it. It’s the anxiety, the stress of the unknown and the fact that we don’t have the normal outlets to try and keep those emotions in check. So how can we stop panic drinking or feelings? I’m joined on the podcast today by writer Annaliese Dent who spoke to some experts and shares her experience.  

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I recently got to know my new neighbor who is also working from home. We had a wine – okay a couple, on the weekend – and then she dropped some baking off at my door the following day. And I was thinking what a nice upside this has been to the whole pandemic situation. I really feel like our whole building and street has been so supportive and really pulled together. There have been quite a few other wonderful things to come from the devastation of the global pandemic (like zoom dates with your friends). I reached out to some other mums to find out what they hope to continue once things go back to normal.  

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Self-care, it can be a difficult thing to prioritise as a working mum, particularly in isolation. We don’t have the same outlets we usually have – a trip to the hairdresser, a massage, coffee or cocktail with friends. I’ve been doing the odd face mask at home – iso skin is a whole different ep - but apart from that, I haven’t really been doing that much. It just feels like I’m getting through each day, which I’m sure is not healthy or sustainable. And sadly I’m not sure experts would recommend wine for self-care (damn it!). So, time to get some professional advice .I reached out to Dr Elise Bialylew, psychiatrist, author of the bestselling book, The Happiness Plan and founder of Mindful in May, for some practical tips.  

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So it’s Mother’s Day on Sunday and for many people it’s going to look quite different to what it has in other years. Hopefully there will still be breakfast or a coffee in bed, but we might not be able to catch up with our own mother’s with the whole family around, head for lunch or have social gatherings of more than a few people - depending on what state you're in. I read some research done by Big W that found almost 30% of Australian families don’t know if they will celebrate Mother’s Day this year and 17% won’t be celebrating Mother’s Day at all, due to the current COVID-19 climate! This just can’t happen people. It has been a full on couple of months and mums need a break – especially in iso. So I reached out to Home & Away Actress and Big W ambassador Ada Nicodemou to find out how she’s spending Mother’s Day this year, and to get some tips on how we can still make it a special day…  

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I don’t know about you guys, but being stuck in the house all day has led to me, and the kids, reaching for the fridge door, way more often than usual. I wouldn't be surprised if it suddenly groaned "what now?!". If you’re having a similar struggle, then you’ll be pleased to know that mum, influencer, author and all-round goddess, Tiff Hall, has sent me her best tips for beating the iso snack blues. Praise be.  

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This period has been challenging for everyone, but it’s been particularly challenging for people trying to make big decisions about keeping their family safe, with someone they don’t get along. I’ve been surprisingly lucky in that regard. We had a disagreement initially about keeping the kids in care and school, but then came to a compromise and we haven’t really had any major issues since. I reached out to some other single parents – mums and dads, to find out what challenges they’ve been facing and to hopefully help you realise that if you're in a similar situation, you are not alone.  

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I feel so superficial for saying this, but last night I opened my wardrobe and thought ‘ I really miss my work clothes and getting ready for the day!’. Then I just kinda slumped and thought, I’m over this. I think my kids are over it too. We ran into some friends at the bike park on Sunday and all the kids started fighting. It's like they have forgotten how to socialise. I think I’VE forgotten how to socialise! Then I just started to worry about it, and overanalyse things and stress about whether this is normal?! Well if you’re wondering the same thing, I’ve got a list of EIGHT feelings and worries that therapists are hearing the most during their sessions and say are totally normal to be feeling right now… Hopefully knowing that what you’re feeling is universal, will help bring some comfort.  

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Both of my kids have birthday’s in June and they’ve already started asking about whether they can have a party - as kids do. It’s difficult to know what to say when I don’t know what will be happening by then, but it must be even harder for parents who had parties organised and then had to cancel them. There isn't a kid alive who doesn't look forward to their birthday party - hell, even adults are bummed right now about celebrating their special day in isolation. But just because it can't be a normal day, doesn't mean it can't be one to remember. In fact, for some kids, their iso birthday might end up being their most memorable ever! I caught up with a bunch of parents, to find out how they’ve managed and what they did instead to make their kid’s birthdays magical…  

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I sent my daughter back to school on Wednesday, and I’m totally fine with that decision. I didn’t make it lightly and luckily with my job I have access to lots of experts for advice. It’s also the right thing for my particular circumstance, and that’s all any of us can do right now – do what is right for you. As we were leaving the house, a woman putting pamphlets in the letterbox said: "off to school, isn’t that a bit dangerous?" Sigh. Can we just stop judging and start supporting? But it’s Friday, not the time for rants. So to lighten things up a bit, I’ve got 9 totally relatable thoughts that mums have had while homeschooling.   

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It’s obviously an incredibly stressful situation we find ourselves in - working from home and spending more time than ever with partners, kids, flatmates, family - all putting a huge amount of pressure on those relationships. Our daily routines look nothing like they used to and lots of us are dealing with unprecedented stress and anxiety which in turn places considerable strain on everyone in the household. So how can we try and keep those relationships intact and walk out of this with all our limbs attached? I reached out to Elisabeth Shaw, CEO of Relationships Australia NSW for some advice to help us manage things better.  

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