The Kinky Tavern

By The Kinky Tavern PodcastHealth & Fitness Sexuality

The Kinky Tavern episodes

July 16, 2023Episode 93: The Carrot and the Stick - Rewards and Punishments in Kink and BDSM
Episode Summary: This week, Mx. Dizzy, Pup Rekkr, and Lord Allen are talking about Rewards and Punishments in kink and BDSM. Have you ever heard the phrase “the carrot or the stick?” The carrot is typically seen as the reward in the phrase and the stick, the punishment. Knowing several littles and masochists who would argue this pretty hard, I have to disagree that it’s that simple. However, rewards and punishments are something which all people could benefit from learning, and especially those in dynamics where you’ve negotiated or want to negotiate behavior modification. We talk about the basics of what rewards and punishments are, how they work, and talk about far too many examples!
A Big Thank You to our Patrons:
Moon_goddess

Sir Quill
Join our ⁠Discord⁠ server! Includes discussion, input for episodes, and education opportunities! It’s a great place to chat about sex, kink, bdsm, or whatever! You can ask questions, find out what the next episodes are going to be about, suggest topics, and just chat with us!
⁠Check out The Kinky Tavern’s socials and more!⁠ If you have any questions about the kink, BDSM, or Leather public, please send it to us on whatever platform you have access to. If you ask a question and it is featured in an episode, you will get a shout-out for that account unless you request to be anonymous.
Support the podcast and our efforts to bring education, discussion, and awareness to the kink, BDSM, and Leather public!
⁠Amazon Wishlist⁠

⁠Patreon⁠

Merch
53 min
July 09, 2023Episode 92: Fear is in the Eye of the Beholder
TW: fear, abuse
Episode Summary: This week, Mx. Dizzy, Pup Rekkr, and Lord Allen are talking about Fear Play!! What are you afraid of? Would you benefit from facing any of those fears in a controlled, safe way? Even in the vanilla world, people play with their fear. In this episode, we will talk about what fear play is, why it’s attractive, how to negotiate a fear play scene, and tips on how to get the most out of scenes and play. Join us to learn more about fear play!
Join our Discord server! Includes discussion, input for episodes, and education opportunities!
Guest Links and links mentioned in the episode:
https://thekinkshop.com/product/violet-wand-full-contact-kit/
Resources used for outline (not necessarily a recommendation or positive review of the article, just where we got information):
https://www.fetish.com/fear+play/

https://www.kinkly.com/definition/1179/fear-play

https://bdsmtrainingacademy.com/fear-play-in-bdsm-how-to-scare-your-partner-without-freaking-them-out/

https://www.devianceanddesire.com/2014/12/fearplay-scary-edge/
Support the podcast!
Amazon Wishlist

Patreon
A Big Thank You to our Patron:
Moon_goddess
Check out The Kinky Tavern’s socials and more!!
If you have any questions about the kink or BDSM community, please send it to us on whatever platform you have access to. If you ask a question and it is featured in an episode, you will get a shout-out for that account unless you request to be anonymous.
Please join our Discord! It’s a great place to chat about sex, kink, bdsm, or whatever! You can ask questions, find out what the next episodes are going to be about, suggest topics, and just chat with us!
48 min
July 02, 2023Episode 91: Accessibility in Kink Part 2 - Dungeons and Dynamics
TW: ableism, abuse
Episode Summary: This week, Mx. Dizzy, Pup Rekkr, and Lord Allen are, once again, discussing an issue near and dear to their hearts, Accessibility in Kink Spaces! This is part 2 where we talk about disability in dungeons and dynamics. If you are a person with a disability, a leader in the community, someone who loves someone with a disability, or just as a human wanting to find ways to make interactions with disabled humans more positive, this episode is for you! We will talk about the things you have to think about that you may not have had to before if you are new to considering people with disabilities in your spaces and/or play. We’ll give tips on how to customize scenes and play, accommodating needs and limitations. We’ll talk about the increased likelihood of abuse of someone with a disability including some of the warning signs to look for in dynamics. Join us to learn more about accessibility in kink and BDSM!
Join our Discord server! Includes discussion, input for episodes, and education opportunities!
Resources used for outline (not necessarily a recommendation or positive review of the article, just where we got information):
https://www.afdo.org.au/about-australians-with-disability/abuse-of-people-with-disability/#:~:text=Abuse%20of%20people%20with%20disability%201%2065%25%20of,age%20of%2015%2C%20compared%20to%2010%25%20without%20disability

https://www.thebody.com/article/kink-managing-chronic-pain

https://disabilityhorizons.com/2019/04/why-bdsm-could-allow-anyone-disabled-to-enjoy-sex/

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/disabilityandhealth/infographic-disability-impacts-all.html#print

https://www.scarleteen.com/wheelchair_bound_kink_and_disability

https://scisexualhealth.ca/2022/02/10/jay-disability-kink/

https://www.kinkweekly.com/special/guide-playing-disabled-kinkster/

https://www.ozy.com/true-and-stories/empowered-by-leather-how-cerebral-palsy-and-kink-can-go-together/96697/

https://blackyouthproject.com/chills-down-my-spinal-degeneration-why-we-need-black-queer-disabled-kink/

https://sofiagray.com/blog/kink-sex-and-disability-what-you-need-to-know/

http://disabledfeminists.com/2010/08/12/my-experiences-with-disability-the-kink-community/

https://www.chronicsex.org/resources/kink-bdsm/

https://kinky-world.net/accessible-bdsm-for-all-how-to-create-your-space/
Support the podcast!
Amazon Wishlist

Patreon
A Big Thank You to our Patron:
Moon_goddess
Check out The Kinky Tavern’s socials and more!!
If you have any questions about the kink or BDSM community, please send it to us on whatever platform you have access to. If you ask a question and it is featured in an episode, you will get a shout-out for that account unless you request to be anonymous.
Please join our Discord! It’s a great place to chat about sex, kink, bdsm, or whatever! You can ask questions, find out what the next episodes are going to be about, suggest topics, and just chat with us!
40 min
June 25, 2023Episode 90: Accessibility in Kink Spaces - More than ramps and doors
TW: ableism
Episode Summary: This week, Mx. Dizzy, Pup Rekkr, and Lord Allen are discussing an issue near and dear to their hearts, Accessibility in Kink Spaces! If you are a leader in the community, as someone who loves someone with a disability, or just as a human wanting to find ways to make interactions with disabled humans more positive, this episode is for you! We will talk about the things you have to think about that you may not have had to before if you are new to considering people with disabilities in your spaces and/or play. We’ll give tips on how to customize scenes and play, accommodating needs and limitations. We’ll mention some of the warning signs to look for when playing and how different disabilities and even skin tone can alter them. Join us to learn more about accessibility in kink spaces!

Join our Discord server! Includes discussion, input for episodes, and education opportunities!

Resources used for outline (not necessarily a recommendation or positive review of the article, just where we got information):
https://www.afdo.org.au/about-australians-with-disability/abuse-of-people-with-disability/#:~:text=Abuse%20of%20people%20with%20disability%201%2065%25%20of,age%20of%2015%2C%20compared%20to%2010%25%20without%20disability

https://www.thebody.com/article/kink-managing-chronic-pain

https://disabilityhorizons.com/2019/04/why-bdsm-could-allow-anyone-disabled-to-enjoy-sex/

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/disabilityandhealth/infographic-disability-impacts-all.html#print

https://www.scarleteen.com/wheelchair_bound_kink_and_disability

https://scisexualhealth.ca/2022/02/10/jay-disability-kink/

https://www.kinkweekly.com/special/guide-playing-disabled-kinkster/

https://www.ozy.com/true-and-stories/empowered-by-leather-how-cerebral-palsy-and-kink-can-go-together/96697/

https://blackyouthproject.com/chills-down-my-spinal-degeneration-why-we-need-black-queer-disabled-kink/

https://sofiagray.com/blog/kink-sex-and-disability-what-you-need-to-know/

http://disabledfeminists.com/2010/08/12/my-experiences-with-disability-the-kink-community/

https://www.chronicsex.org/resources/kink-bdsm/

https://kinky-world.net/accessible-bdsm-for-all-how-to-create-your-space/

Support the podcast!
Amazon Wishlist - https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2A0Q19DJVY5VB?ref_=wl_share

Patreon - https://tr.ee/ZGbvzTwz6f

A Big Thank You to our Patron:
Moon_goddess

Check out The Kinky Tavern’s socials and more!!

If you have any questions about the kink or BDSM community, please send it to us on whatever platform you have access to. If you ask a question and it is featured in an episode, you will get a shout-out for that account unless you request to be anonymous.
Please join our Discord! It’s a great place to chat about sex, kink, bdsm, or whatever! You can ask questions, find out what the next episodes are going to be about, suggest topics, and just chat with us!
47 min
June 18, 2023Episode 89: Retraction of Support from Colorado Leather Fest
Trigger Warning: Today’s episode, by the nature of its topic, will be covering topics of abuse and sexual assault. If you are not in a place to handle this kind of discussion right now, please take care of yourself and join us next week! If you are experiencing a domestic violence emergency please call 911. If you need help or assistance with domestic violence please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-SAFE or 1-800-787-3224

Episode Summary: This week, Mx. Dizzy, Pup Rekkr, and Lord Allen are tackling a more serious topic: the retraction of their support for the Colorado Leather Fest. We are saddened to have to make this episode. We are hurt and disappointed that the people we supported and befriended let down the community in a lot of ways. Thank you for listening.

Join our Discord server! Includes discussion, input for episodes, and education opportunities!

Support the podcast! New audio equipment is something both of our studios need!
Amazon Wishlist - https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2A0Q19DJVY5VB?ref_=wl_share

Patreon - https://tr.ee/ZGbvzTwz6f

A Big Thank You to our Patron:
Moon_goddess

Check out The Kinky Tavern’s socials and more!!

If you have any questions about the kink or BDSM community, please send it to us on whatever platform you have access to. If you ask a question and it is featured in an episode, you will get a shout-out for that account unless you request to be anonymous.
Please join our Discord! It’s a great place to chat about sex, kink, bdsm, or whatever! You can ask questions, find out what the next episodes are going to be about, suggest topics, and just chat with us!
45 min
June 11, 2023Episode 88: 1950's Household Kink and Dynamics - Perfection or Problematic?
Trigger Warning: Today’s episode, by the nature of its topic, will be covering topics of abuse and sexual assault. If you are not in a place to handle this kind of discussion right now, please take care of yourself and join us next week! If you are experiencing a domestic violence emergency please call 911. If you need help or assistance with domestic violence please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-SAFE or 1-800-787-3224
Episode Summary: This week, Mx. Dizzy, Pup Rekkr, and Lord Allen discuss 1950’s kink and dynamics! From the aesthetic to the culture and the relationships, the idea is the perfect wholesome family. How does one in 2023 participate in this kink? What’s the draw? Can you separate it from the problems it created and can perpetuate? Is it JUST for cishet people in male dom, female sub relationships? We talk about this and so much more in this episode!

Join our Discord server! Includes discussion, input for episodes, and education opportunities!

Resources used for outline (not necessarily a recommendation or positive review of the article, just where we got information):
https://submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships/articles/1950s-kink-an-overview

https://www.kinkweekly.com/article-guest-author/hows-whys-1950s-power-exchange-dynamics/

https://les3sex.com/en/news/1415/article-understand-1950-s-household-kink

https://fetlife.com/users/8971159/posts/7789304?sp=12

https://classroom.synonym.com/womens-rights-in-the-1950s-12082873.html

Support the podcast! New audio equipment is something both of our studios need!
Amazon Wishlist - https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2A0Q19DJVY5VB?ref_=wl_share

Patreon - https://tr.ee/ZGbvzTwz6f

Thank you for your question!!
Devyn Stone

A Big Thank You to our Patron:
Moon_goddess

Check out The Kinky Tavern’s socials and more!!

If you have any questions about the kink or BDSM community, please send it to us on whatever platform you have access to. If you ask a question and it is featured in an episode, you will get a shout-out for that account unless you request to be anonymous.
Please join our Discord! It’s a great place to chat about sex, kink, bdsm, or whatever! You can ask questions, find out what the next episodes are going to be about, suggest topics, and just chat with us!
1 hr 13 min
June 04, 2023Episode 87: Digging into the Alphabet Soup of Consent Theories
This week, Mx. Dizzy and Pup Rekkr discuss Consent Theories! Ever heard of those acronyms SSC? Maybe the Three C’s? RACK? PRICK? BORK? That alphabet soup makes up some of the consent theories which have been outlined and discussed at large in the BDSM and kink public. We’re going to tear these acronyms and theories apart and give our opinions on the problems and positives of each one we cover. There are, of course, some out there which were not covered or which we didn’t find in our research. If you have a suggestion for a theory you’d like to hear torn apart and analyzed by us, please let us know!

Join our Discord server! Includes discussion, input for episodes, and education opportunities!

Resources used for outline (not necessarily a recommendation or positive review of the article or resource, just where we got information):
http://www.leatherleadership.org/library/safesanestein.htm

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SafeSaneAndConsensual

SSC, RACK, and Other Safety Philosophies - Kinky Curiosity

SAFETY PHILOSOPHIES IN BDSM: SSC, RACK, PRICK – honeysx

What is Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink (PRICK)? - Definition from Kinkly

Safety in BDSM: Understanding SSC, RACK, and PRICK • Loving BDSM

SSC, Rack, Prick, and CCCC safety protocols - BDSM
Support the podcast! New audio equipment is something both of our studios need!
Amazon Wishlist

Patreon
A Big Thank You to our Patron since the beginning!
Moon_goddess
Check out The Kinky Tavern’s socials and more!!
If you have any questions about the kink or BDSM community, please send it to us on whatever platform you have access to. If you ask a question and it is featured in an episode, you will get a shout-out for that account unless you request to be anonymous.
Please join our Discord! It’s a great place to chat about sex, kink, bdsm, or whatever! You can ask questions, find out what the next episodes are going to be about, suggest topics, and just chat with us!
48 min
May 28, 2023Episode 86: Fetlife - Fab or Foe?
Trigger Warning: Today’s episode, by the nature of its topic, will be covering topics of abuse and sexual assault. If you are not in a place to handle this kind of discussion right now, please take care of yourself and join us next week! If you are experiencing a domestic violence emergency please call 911. If you need help or assistance with domestic violence please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-SAFE or 1-800-787-3224
Episode Summary: This week, Mx. Dizzy, Pup Rekkr, and Lord Allen’ discuss the kinky social media site, Fetlife! Lots of research went into this one (like all our episodes, but this one was a heavy load!) We talk about issues with privacy, safety, the culture, and so much more! Join us for information and opinions on what Fetlife has been and has become.

Join our Discord server! Includes discussion, input for episodes, and education opportunities!
https://tr.ee/AQzGuhdsrY
Support the podcast! New audio equipment is something both of our studios need!
Amazon Wishlist - https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2A0Q19DJVY5VB?ref_=wl_share

Patreon - https://tr.ee/ZGbvzTwz6f
Support Allen with the continuing costs of their wreck:
CashApp: Allensworld111
Other Resources:
Gynecologists who will perform a tubal sterilization – https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/edit?usp=sharing

BDSM/Kink Resources and Media - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/4/d/1flpQ3SYzb9WTgEWUQiqgjR_t_LD1Fvf6Cwp-cMnm_YI/edit
Check out Scruff Pup’s #BarkAgainst campaign!
https://twitter.com/PuppScruff

https://twitter.com/search?q=%23BarkAgainst&src=hashtag_click
A Big Thank You to our Patron:
Moon_goddess
Check out The Kinky Tavern’s socials and more!! - https://linktr.ee/TheKinkyTavern
If you have any questions about the kink or BDSM community, please send it to us on whatever platform you have access to. If you ask a question and it is featured in an episode, you will get a shout-out for that account unless you request to be anonymous.
Please join our Discord! It’s a great place to chat about sex, kink, bdsm, or whatever! You can ask questions, find out what the next episodes are going to be about, suggest topics, and just chat with us!
1 hr 5 min
May 21, 2023Episode 85: Playing with Fire
This week, Mx. Dizzy, Pup Rekkr, and Lord Allen’s (until their power went out) talk about Fire Play! You’ve heard the old saying, if you play with fire, you’re going to get burnt. Well, this isn’t entirely untrue! In this episode, our hosts attempt to balance between sharing how to mitigate risk and be safe while avoiding instructing our listeners on Fire Play (because this podcast does NOT teach edge play!) Learn the different types of play, fuel, risks, and solutions with us!
Kinky Social Opportunity: In our Discord server(https://tr.ee/AQzGuhdsrY), we are hosting a monthly Free Fur All Q&A Social Session (the last Sunday of the month at 6:00 pm CST, donations appreciated but not required) as well as a monthly class with rotating and guest educators!
Join our Discord server! Includes discussion, input for episodes, and education opportunities!
https://tr.ee/AQzGuhdsrY
Support the podcast! New audio equipment is something both of our studios need!
Amazon Wishlist - https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2A0Q19DJVY5VB?ref_=wl_share

Patreon - https://tr.ee/ZGbvzTwz6f
Support Allen with the continuing costs of their wreck:
CashApp: Allensworld111
Other Resources:
Gynecologists who will perform a tubal sterilization – https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/edit?usp=sharing

BDSM/Kink Resources and Media - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/4/d/1flpQ3SYzb9WTgEWUQiqgjR_t_LD1Fvf6Cwp-cMnm_YI/edit
Check out Scruff Pup’s #BarkAgainst campaign!
https://twitter.com/PuppScruff

https://twitter.com/search?q=%23BarkAgainst&src=hashtag_click
A Big Thank You to our Patron:
Moon_goddess
Check out The Kinky Tavern’s socials and more!! - https://linktr.ee/TheKinkyTavern
If you have any questions about the kink or BDSM community, please send it to us on whatever platform you have access to. If you ask a question and it is featured in an episode, you will get a shout-out for that account unless you request to be anonymous.
Please join our Discord! It’s a great place to chat about sex, kink, bdsm, or whatever! You can ask questions, find out what the next episodes are going to be about, suggest topics, and just chat with us!
44 min
May 14, 2023Episode 84: Doing the Work - Moral Codes and Risk Profiles in Life, Kink, and Dynamics with Sir Luke and His victor
This week, we are releasing part 2 of Mx. Dizzy, Pup Rekkr, and Lord Allen’s conversation with Sir Luke and His victor! Sir Luke and His victor are a Master/slave couple out of the southeast United States who teach about transformative authority and control imbalance relationship dynamics. In this episode, we talk about a number of things, including consent, relationships, dynamics, and so much more! Join us to learn more about Sir Luke and His victor as well as their intriguing dynamic and their collective wealth of knowledge!
Kinky Social Opportunity: In our Discord server(https://tr.ee/AQzGuhdsrY), we are hosting a monthly Free Fur All Q&A Social Session (the last Sunday of the month at 6:00 pm CST, donations appreciated but not required) as well as a monthly class with rotating and guest educators! (NO MEETING IN APRIL - PLEASE ATTEND THRIVE!)
Education Opportunity:
Caring for Your Disabled Partner - Class Presented by Rekkr (https://fetlife.com/events/1257113)
Mar 12, 2023 | 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM CST
FREE! donations appreciated but not required
Join our Discord server! Includes discussion, input for episodes, and education opportunities!
https://tr.ee/AQzGuhdsrY
Guest Links and links mentioned in the episode:
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/sirlukeandvictor

Facebook: Sir Luke and His victor - https://www.facebook.com/SirLukeandHisvictor/

Email: [email protected]

Fetlife: MisterBBWolf & _victor - https://fetlife.com/users/317116 & https://fetlife.com/users/734356

Twitter: SirLuke_victor - https://twitter.com/SirLuke_victor

Instagram: SirLuke_victor - https://www.instagram.com/sirluke_victor/

Classes mentioned - https://fetlife.com/users/734356/posts/4018597
On the Edge of Consent

Our Love Language is Suffering

Queer leathersex

Petitions

Writing - Abuse: Judging a Book by its Cover - https://fetlife.com/users/317116/posts/8047797

The Index - Venue owned by Sir Luke and His victor - https://www.indexretreats.com/
Page and group on FB - https://www.facebook.com/indexretreats

Instagram - https://instagram.com/_theindex?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Fetlife - https://fetlife.com/users/16205929
Support the podcast! New audio equipment is something both of our studios need!
Amazon Wishlist - https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2A0Q19DJVY5VB?ref_=wl_share

Patreon - https://tr.ee/ZGbvzTwz6f
Support Allen with the continuing costs of their wreck:
CashApp: Allensworld111
Other Resources:
Gynecologists who will perform a tubal sterilization – https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/edit?usp=sharing

BDSM/Kink Resources and Media - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/4/d/1flpQ3SYzb9WTgEWUQiqgjR_t_LD1Fvf6Cwp-cMnm_YI/edit
Check out Scruff Pup’s #BarkAgainst campaign!
https://twitter.com/PuppScruff

https://twitter.com/search?q=%23BarkAgainst&src=hashtag_click
A Big Thank You to our Patron:
Moon_goddess
Check out The Kinky Tavern’s socials and more!! - https://linktr.ee/TheKinkyTavern
If you have any questions about the kink or BDSM community, please send it to us on whatever platform you have access to. If you ask a question and it is featured in an episode, you will get a shout-out for that account unless you request to be anonymous.
Please join our Discord! It’s a great place to chat about sex, kink, bdsm, or whatever! You can ask questions, find out what the next episodes are going to be about, suggest topics, and just chat with us!
47 min

About The Kinky Tavern

From the publisher's feed

18+ ONLY!!! Since August 2021, Mx. Dizzy and Pup Rekkr have embarked on an exciting venture in The Kinky Tavern Podcast, an educational podcast dedicated to exploring the world of kink, BDSM, and…