Welcome back to the podcast men! In the second episode of the Failure to Lead podcast series, the focus turns to one of Scripture’s most infamous leaders—King Saul. At first glance, Saul may seem like an obvious choice when discussing leadership failure...but Saul’s story is more complex than simple disobedience.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

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Leadership Lessons from King Saul: How Emotion, Disobedience, and Insecurity Lead to Failure

In the second episode of the Failure to Lead podcast series, the focus turns to one of Scripture’s most infamous leaders—King Saul. After all, his reign ended with God stripping the kingdom away from him and giving it to David. However, his leadership journey offers key insights into how even those who start well can stumble if their hearts are not continually aligned with God.

Contrary to popular belief, Saul did not begin his reign as a failure. Scripture tells us in 1 Samuel 10:9, “As Saul turned to leave Samuel, God changed Saul’s heart.” God chose Saul, and early on, Saul demonstrated humility, restraint, and a willingness to follow divine instruction.

When some people questioned Saul’s kingship, Saul chose silence over pride. 1 Samuel 10:27 notes, “They didn’t bring him any gifts. But Saul kept quiet about it.” And after his first major victory over the Ammonites, Saul refused to seek vengeance on those who had doubted him (1 Samuel 11:12–13). These were the marks of a humble and Spirit-touched leader.

But leadership is not defined by a single moment—it’s tested over time.

One of Saul’s downfalls was his tendency to make rash decisions based on emotion. Good leaders understand the weight of their emotions and choose wisdom over impulse.

In 1 Samuel 14:24–30, Saul made an emotionally charged vow that no one in his army could eat until he had avenged his enemies. This decision, though driven by zeal, weakened his troops and nearly cost his son Jonathan’s life. Jonathan, unaware of the oath, ate honey to regain strength. He later criticized his father's decision, saying, “My father has made trouble for the country.”

Emotion-driven leadership, while often passionate, can blind decision-makers to long-term consequences. Leaders must pause, pray, and process before acting—especially in high-pressure situations.

Another key failure in Saul’s leadership was his disobedience. A leader under God’s authority must model obedience—not only for personal integrity but also for the health of those under their leadership.

In 1 Samuel 13, Saul took matters into his own hands by offering a sacrifice reserved for the prophet Samuel. This impatience cost him dearly. Samuel rebuked him: “You have not kept the command the Lord your God gave you… the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart” (1 Samuel 13:13–14).

Later, in 1 Samuel 15, Saul disobeyed God again by sparing King Agag and the best livestock, despite clear instructions to destroy everything. When confronted, Saul justified his actions, claiming he was saving the animals to sacrifice to God. Samuel responded with piercing truth: “To obey is better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22).

Partial obedience is still disobedience. True leadership requires full submission to God’s commands, regardless of the perceived benefit of an alternative route.

Perhaps the most relatable of Saul’s failures was his struggle with jealousy and insecurity. These internal issues often lead to outward dysfunction in leadership.

After David’s rise to fame—especially after defeating Goliath—Saul grew resentful. The people sang, “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands” (1 Samuel 18:7), and Saul’s jealousy began to consume him. From that point forward, he viewed David not as an asset to the kingdom but as a threat to his throne.

Healthy leaders celebrate the success of others. They identify and nurture talent, even if those under them surpass their own abilities. Insecurity, on the other hand, leads to control, manipulation, and division.

Saul’s story is a warning to every leader—especially those in spiritual leadership. His life shows that a strong start doesn’t guarantee a faithful finish. Leaders must remain humble, emotionally wise, obedient, and secure in their calling.

A recurring theme in Saul’s decline is this: The condition of the leader’s heart determines the course of their leadership. Saul’s heart changed, but it did not stay aligned with God. Over time, pride, fear, and disobedience eroded the foundation of his reign.

Let Saul’s life be a mirror, not just a story. Ask:

• Is leadership being driven by emotion or by wisdom?
• Is obedience to God full and immediate, or partial and convenient?
• Are the giftings of others seen as threats or as opportunities for growth?

Ultimately, great leaders don’t just lead—they follow. They stay under authority, remain emotionally grounded, and model consistent obedience to God.

Welcome back, men! We’ve looked at how to lead from great leaders in the Bible, let’s see what we can learn from some guys who messed up and learn from their mistakes so that we don’t repeat them in this new series: Failure to Lead.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

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• Coaching - if we learn from our mistakes, we’re going to be pretty good by the end of the season. If not, we’re going to lose a lot of games. 
• You might be asking yourself, “why so much talk about leading on this podcast?” It’s simple, men are called to lead in the home and in the church. 

Ephesians 5:22-30 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[b] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

• We need to step up and lead. 

Genesis 3:9 Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” 

• God called to the man.  He was holding Adam accountable. Adam didn’t lead. 

Genesis 3:16 And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.

• Part of this tension that is often felt when we try to lead in our home is a direct result of Adam’s failure to lead. This is the story we’re going to look at today.  
• Being a servant leader

Proverbs 15:22 Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.

Proverbs 15:31 If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.

• Doesn’t mean that we lead tyrannically.  We seek input, particularly from our spouse.  We listen to constructive criticism.  

Adam was passive.  He failed to step up and lead.  There was a crisis going on around him, and he stood there as a spectator instead of stepping up as a leader. 

Genesis 3:1-7 The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” 2 “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. 3 “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’”4 “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. 5 “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” 6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

Instead of facing the consequences of a bad decision, Adam tried to hide. We’re all going to mess up sometimes. We’re going to make bad decisions as a leader. When that happens, we need to own up to it. 

Genesis 3:8-10 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man[a] and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. 9 Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”

• What does hiding from God look like in our lives? Avoiding going to church, avoiding small groups, not wanting to spend time in God’s Word 
• Not initiating reconciliation - just hoping it will blow over or sweep it under the rug

Psalm 139 7-12 I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence!

8 If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.9 If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans,10 even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.11 I could ask the darkness to hide me  and the light around me to become night—12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. 

Adam tried the blame game instead of owning up to his mistake.  He even insinuated that God was partially at fault. 

Genesis 3:12 The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.”

• Sound familiar? 
• We blame others.  We blame our circumstances. We sometimes even blame God - It’s your fault.  You made me this way.

Hello men, welcome back to the podcast! What if the words you speak could shape the identity, confidence, and future of those you love—just as the blessings of fathers did in the Old Testament? Let's talk about it today!

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

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In the Old Testament, the blessings of fathers to their sons just seem to jump off the page. Isaac to Jacob and Esau, Jacob’s blessings over his sons. 

Our words have the power to bring life or death. We should work to use our words to encourage and build up those around us.

Ephesians 4:29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

James 1:19-20, 26 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

James 3:3-6 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

James 3:9:10 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.

Controlling our tongue to not respond harshly or critically is the first step. We can then learn to use our words to bring blessing and life. This takes intentionality and for most of us, practice. It is important to speak words of affirmation to those we love.  

Mark 1:9-11 At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. 10 Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. 11 And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”

Mark 9:7 Then a cloud appeared and covered them, and a voice came from the cloud: “This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to him!”

• Our children need our encouragement.  If God the Father publicly affirmed God the Son, how much more so do our children need it?  Jesus knew exactly who he was.  He had no questions about his significance or value or identity.  Can our kids say that?  
• What if your child’s primarily love language is words of affirmation?  They need it even more.  Probably need it even more than you do. 
• Speak affirmation on the things they can control. I’m proud of you. You are a blessing to me. You’re wise.  You’re humble. 

Creating opportunities for more formal statements of blessing and encouragement can have a deep impact. There is power in ceremony. Look for significant events in the lives of your children and use those as opportunities to bring life with your words.

• Starting school, Starting Jr. High, starting HS, purity talk, First job, Driver’s license, graduation, first date, marriage, first child, purchase of a home or moving to a new location 
• Work at it, write it down

Welcome back men! What do you do when your child pushes away from the faith, resists your leadership, or walks a path you never wanted for them? In this final episode of Leading When It’s Hard, we’re looking toward biblical wisdom for guiding rebellious kids. Don’t miss this crucial conversation!

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

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How to Lead When Your Kids Are Rebelling: A Biblical Perspective

Parenting is one of the greatest blessings and challenges in life. It becomes even more difficult when our children stray from the faith, resist authority, or make choices that go against our values. Today, we’re in the final week of our Leading When It’s Hard series, and we’re tackling a topic that many parents face: leading when your kids are rebelling.

This conversation is complex because every family dynamic is different. Considerations include:

• Are your kids still living at home, or are they adults living on their own?
• How old are they?
• Are they biological children, or is this a blended family situation?
• Were you a believer before having children, or did you come to faith later, bringing significant changes to your household?

While each situation is unique, the Bible provides timeless wisdom for navigating this difficult journey. Let’s explore three key principles: praying, training and modeling, and loving unconditionally without affirming sin.

First and foremost, cover your child in prayer. Ask God to soften their heart and grant you wisdom in how to best lead them.

Philippians 4:6-7 – “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Worrying about our children seems like a natural part of parenting. From infancy through adulthood, our concerns grow as the consequences of their choices become more significant. However, Scripture does not give us an exception for worrying about our kids. It commands us not to worry about anything but to bring everything before God in prayer.

Additionally, while it’s natural to want to protect our children from pain, we should be careful not to pray away all consequences of their actions.

Consider the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32)—it was only when the son hit rock bottom that he came to his senses. If the father had prayed for his son to avoid hardship, the young man might never have returned home in repentance.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 – “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

Leading our children spiritually is not just about giving instructions—it’s about modeling the faith we want them to follow.

Proverbs 22:6 – “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”

This is a proverb, not a guarantee. While raising children in God’s truth increases the likelihood that they will remain faithful, they still have free will. However, a solid foundation makes a lasting impact.

A key question to ask: Is their behavior in spite of my parenting or because of my parenting? If we need to seek forgiveness for past mistakes, we should humble ourselves and do so.

Some parents emphasize righteousness and holiness but struggle to model tenderness and mercy. Others err on the side of being too lenient, attempting to be a friend rather than a parent. We must find balance.

Ephesians 6:4 – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

If we’ve made parenting mistakes, it’s never too late to change. A sincere apology and a commitment to leading in love and wisdom can transform our relationship with our children.

Loving our children does not mean condoning their choices. We can express love while standing firm in truth.

Romans 5:8-10 – “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation.”

God’s love for us is unconditional, but it does not excuse sin. In the same way, we must extend love to our children while making it clear that sin has consequences.

Some practical steps:

• Establish clear boundaries for children still living at home.
• If they are adults living independently, continue to be a loving presence while maintaining biblical convictions.
• Pick your battles wisely—especially if you are a new believer making household changes. Instead of demanding immediate compliance, allow your children to see the transformation in your life through the fruit of the Spirit.

For example, instead of banning all secular music overnight, start by eliminating explicit content. If your child is no longer living under your roof, you can still engage them in meaningful conversations about faith without forcing them into compliance.\

Leading when your children are rebelling is heartbreaking and challenging, but it is not impossible. Through prayer, godly modeling, and unconditional love, we can lead our children toward faith, even if they stray.

God is faithful. Keep trusting Him, keep leading well, and keep praying. The seeds you plant today may bear fruit in ways you cannot yet see.

Galatians 6:9 – “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

Welcome back to the podcast, men! We’re in episode 2 of our series: When it's Tough to Lead.  Today’s topic: How do we lead if our wife is an unbeliever or is living in rebellion?

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

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Our role is to share the gospel and make disciples.  The Holy Spirit’s role is to bring conviction and change hearts.  Pray to the Holy Spirit, asking him to bring conviction to your spouse and to give you the strength to stay the course.

• One of the hardest things for us as men to remember is to stay in our lane.  What I mean by that is it isn’t our job to convict our wife or soften their heart.  Only God can do that.  That is the role the Holy Spirit. 

John 16:7-8 But in fact, it is best for you that I go away, because if I don’t, the Advocate[a] won’t come. If I do go away, then I will send him to you. 8 And when he comes, he will convict the world of its sin, and of God’s righteousness, and of the coming judgment.

• One of the primary roles of the Holy Spirit is to convict the world of sin. 

Acts 13:3 Acts 13:3 So after more fasting and prayer, the men laid their hands on them and sent them on their way.

• Context of this verse - sending Paul and Barnabas commission to go out on their missionary journey. The church knew the importance of praying for Paul and Barnabas and in praying for the Holy Spirit to move and soften hearts. 
• Pray for the Holy Spirit to soften your wife’s heart and bring conviction.  Pray for the Holy Spirit to bring others into her life who will also point her to Jesus. 
• Pray for strength.  Pray for endurance. Fight for your marriage. 

1 Corinthians 7:12-14 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer[c] has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 

1 Corinthians 7: 16  Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?

• If you were a Christian when you married and you married a non-believer, I want to say this as compassionately as I can, but let this be a good reminder to you that God’s boundaries are for your good.  
• Fight for your marriage.  

Actions speak louder than words. Live with your wife in an understanding way and let your love and good deeds point her to Jesus.

1 Peter 3:1-2, 7  In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives. 

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

• I know the verse is directed at wives who have an unbelieving husband but the pure and reverent lives part is certainly applicable to a husband who has a non-believing wife. 
• You are a vessel that God wants to use to pour out his love and grace on your wife.
• We started this episode out by talking about the importance of prayer.  Here we’re told to treat our wives as we should so that our prayers will not be hindered.  We’ve all heard the phrase “1 step forward, 2 steps back”. That’s what’s happening if you’re praying for God to soften your wife’s heart and bring conviction, but then you’re not treating her the way you should treat her. 
• If you want to lead her, serve her. Jesus said if we want to be first, we should be last. We’ve talked a lot on this podcast about Godly leadership and Godly leadership is servant leadership. 

If you make everything a black and white issue, your spouse is going to feel like you’re a dictator.  This requires us to be led by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God so that we can balance when to stand firm and when to compromise.

Luke 14:25-27 A large crowd was following Jesus. He turned around and said to them, 26 “If you want to be my disciple, you must, by comparison, hate everyone else—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. 27 And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.

• Clearly, we can’t compromise on everything.  We can’t let the fear of our wife being mad or leaving us have more authority in our lives than God’s truth. 

1 Corinthians 5:12 It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning.

• Evaluating the difference between leading your wife and leading your children. 
• Social media, media for example
• Requiring my kids to go to church, 

If your wife professes to be a believer, but is rebelling, bring in other believers. Matthew 18 protocol.  Bring in your church leaders. 

Matthew 18:15-17 “If another believer[d] sins against you,[e] go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

Romans 12:17-18 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

1 Corinthians 7:15 (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife[e] is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you[f] to live in peace.)

Hey men, welcome back to the podcast! Today, we’re going to kick off a three part series titled, “When it is tough to lead.”  The Bible makes it clear that the mantle of leadership in the home and in the church has been placed on men. --

The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

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Ephesians 5:22-30 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[b] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

• 1 Corinthians 11:3 But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
• I think the command is clear.  I think that men who are really pursuing God and trying to live by his standards want to do it, or at least recognize they’re called to do it.  But how do we do it? How do we do it when our wife has been a Christian longer or has more Bible knowledge than we do? How do we do it if our wife is walking away from God? How do we lead in the home when our children are rebelling from God?  That’s what we’re going to try and answer in this series.  Today, we’re looking at how to lead when our wife has been a believer longer than us, or has more Biblical knowledge than us.  And I want to start with this…

If your wife has been a Christian longer than you, or has more biblical knowledge than you, thank God for her.

• I’m not saying that it can’t or doesn’t create a set of problems.  It can.  But what a great problem to have. If this is the episode in this series that you’re battling, I guarantee you the guys who are battling with the next episode, how to lead when your wife is walking away from God, would trade places with you in a heartbeat.  
• Let me read a couple of verses…

Proverbs 31:10-11 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;  but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

• Thank God for your wife and her love for him.  Thank your wife. Ask your wife to forgive you for not spiritually leading up to this point if you haven’t been. 

Leading means initiating.  Initiating time in prayer and initiating time in the Word. 

Leading isn’t the same as teaching. Teaching is an element of leading, but leadership is much broader.  You can lead in service, reconciliation, and direction for your family.  Ephesians 5:22-30, 1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 4:32 

• Initiate Time in Prayer 
• Initiate Time in the Word
• Doesn’t mean you have to give your wife a sermon.  You can read together.  You can ask her what God has been saying to her in her time in the Word.  You can share what God has been saying to you in your time in the Word. 
• Initiate Connection

1 Peter 3:7 

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

• Some translations - the weaker vessel.  Physically weaker is part of that, but I think it’s more.  Treat her with care. Help her to feel cherished. 
• When initiating connection, evaluate if your family is going in the right direction. Are you keeping the main things the main things? 
• Initiate Reconciliation 
• Ephesians 4:32  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. 

Don’t confuse Biblical knowledge or literacy with maturity. Help your family grow in maturity, not just knowledge.

1 Corinthians 8:1 Now concerning[a] food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up. 

• Hopefully, if your wife has ore biblical knowledge than you, she is also maturing in her faith.  She’s going full circle. If so, praise God.  She’ll probably be excited that you’re stepping up to lead now.  If not, help her grow in maturity. 

Luke 6:46 Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? 

• How do we approach our wives when we need to correct? We need to remember we’re a plank eyed sinner - check our motives, check our own sin issues, gentleness

Welcome back, men! We’re coming to the end of our Stormproof series. We’ve been looking at the book, “Stormproof” by Roger Frankhauser. The goal of the book is to help Christian men have sexual purity in a sex-saturated world. We’re finishing the series and at the same time we’re kicking off a new year. 

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

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 The Bible commands us to flee sexual immorality. This language is weighty.  We should recognize just how dangerous it will be if we don’t quickly put distance between us and temptation.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body [g]and in your spirit, which are God’s.

2 Timothy 2:22 Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

• We’re not called to stand and fight.  I find that so interesting.  We’re told to flee.  Run! This isn’t something we should be casual about.  We need to put as much distance between us and the temptation as possible.  
• Example of Joseph - 

Genesis 39:11-12 One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. 12 She caught him by his cloak and said, “Come to bed with me!” But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.

• Instead of fleeing, we so often dilly dally around.  We play with the temptation.  We ask,”How close to this thing can I get without getting burned?”  Would we do that in a life or death situation?  If a blazing fire was coming down the mountain on us, would we see how close we could get without getting burned, or would we put as much distance between us and the fire as possible? 
• Part of the issue is we don’t recognize the seriousness of sin. It truly is life or death.  The bible says the wages of sin is death. Now, as believers, our position before God is secure, but it can kill our intimacy. 
• Lot’s wife - didn’t run, stopped and wanted to linger - Is that our attitude with sexual purity?  

Author talks about four categories where we need to flee

• Sexual distractions - beach, lingerie store, - The other woman - use common sense, say far away, avoid flirtatious talk, play the dweeb - story of McKenzie 
• Electronic Devices - accountability software - covenant eyes, net nanny, 
• Commercial sex industry - 
• Sex outside of marriage - dating, cohabitation
• Don’t date a non-believer
• Don’t put yourself in compromising situations
• Clearly communicate boundaries - even if the other person professes to be a Christian 

There is a difference between knowing what purity is and how to experience it and actually experiencing it. 

• You might be asking, “what do I do now?”.  We just finished the book, can you name the 5 principles we’ve covered the last three episodes? 
• Connect with God
• Involve Others
• Control your thoughts
• Control your eyes
• Flee
• If you remembered all five - congrats! If you’re like me, you probably already had difficulty remembering them all.  That’s normal.  We all need help from time to time remembering things we’ve learned and things we’ve read or heard.  Go back and re-read, 

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 - Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

• Certainly not intending to elevate this book to the level of scripture, but thinking about it, reading it again, talking about it is the best way to help you remember it. 

Enjoy purity - rejoice in it, celebrate it.  

Psalm 19:9-11 The fear of the Lord is pure,  enduring forever. The decrees of the Lord are firm,

    and all of them are righteous.10 They are more precious than gold,  than much pure gold;

they are sweeter than honey,  than honey from the honeycomb.11 By them your servant is warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

• Is that how we view God’s boundaries? Do we believe there is great reward in keeping them? Are they precious to us? 

For the married man pursue greater intimacy with your wife.  Not just in hopes that it leads to more or better sex, but for the sake of intimacy itself.  You’ve been commanded to love your wife and give yourself up for her as Christ did the church.  

For the single man - God is enough.  

• Nothing can satisfy like he can. 

Matthew 22:29-30 But Jesus answered and said to them, “You are mistaken, since you do not [s]understand the Scriptures nor the power of God. 30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.

Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life;  you will fill me with joy in your presence,   with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

NASB - You will make known to me the way of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy;

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

How do we know the difference between conviction and condemnation?

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The PursueGOD Truth podcast is the “easy button” for making disciples – whether you’re looking for resources to lead a family devotional, a small group at church, or a one-on-one mentoring relationship. Join us for new episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

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Welcome back to the podcast men! We’re in our sixth episode of the Stormproof series, where we’ve been discussing the the book “Stormproof Men’ by Roger Fankhauser. Listening to this podcast is great, but just listening isn’t going to give you victory in this area. You need to implement the principles we’re talking about.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

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James 1:22-25 says: "But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. 23 For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. 24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. 25 But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it." 

The first key to controlling our thoughts is replacing our thoughts.  You have to fill the void with something else, or the initial thoughts will just creep back in. The longer we think on sinful things, the more enticing they become and the more we begin to justify them. 

• You might respond to “control your thoughts” with “that’s easier said than done” or “how can I do that?”. I can’t help the thoughts that come into my mind. I would agree with you that to some extent you can’t help the thoughts that pop into your mind, but you can control what you do with them when you recognize they’re there. 

Romans 12:2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Philippians 4:8-9 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

• Killing sin when it is small
• Process - become aware of the thought, evaluate the thought, replace inappropriate thoughts 

God made men visual creatures .  That isn’t an invitation to look lustfully at women or images of women.  Controlling what we’re looking at is critical to victory in the area of sexual purity. 

Job 31:1I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman. 

• Job is protesting his innocence here.  He’s saying, “I was successful at this.  I kept the covenant.” I hope that is encouraging to us.  

Matthew 6:22-23 Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. 23 But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!

• Story of David and Bathsheba   

Welcome back, men! Join us this week for episode five in our Stormproof series, where we tackle what it looks like to achieve and maintain sexual purity in today's sex saturated culture.

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The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at [email protected].

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Storms are going to come in our lives in our battle for purity. Are we preparing? Are we looking for warning signs? Are we fleeing? 

It is critical to connect with God on a regular basis. Spiritual disciplines such as prayer and Bible study aren’t ends in themselves, but instead they equip us for living and for experiencing a close relationship with God.

Connect regularly with God

• Practices such as reading the Bible and prayer are not ends in themselves. Instead, they equip us for living and for experiencing a close relationship with God.
•  2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 17 God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.  
• John Ortberg - There is an immense difference between training to do something and trying to do something. Respecting the distinction between training and merely trying is the key to transformation in every area of life.  
• God uses these disciplines to change us from the inside out. 
• Psalm 119:9-16 How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word. 10 I have tried hard to find you— don’t let me wander from your commands.11 I have hidden your word in my heart,  that I might not sin against you. 12 I praise you, O Lord;  teach me your decrees. 13 I have recited aloud all the regulations you have given us. 14 I have rejoiced in your laws as much as in riches.15 I will study your commandments and reflect on your ways.16 I will delight in your decrees and not forget your word.

Obstacles to reading 

• Guilt 
• Difficult to understand
• Choosing to read - love is a choice example from marriage basics 
• Nature of the Bible itself - spiritual warfare 

Prayer 

• God is a personal God. We are his children.  He is our father. Might be difficult for those of you who had a strained relationship with your father or whose father abandoned them or was present physically, but not emotionally. 
• God is a perfect father.  His judgment is always right.  He disciplines those he loves.  His discipline is just and appropriate. 
• God is God and we’re not.  Great reminder of our dependence on him.  He’s the creator. We’re the creation. 

Walking in the Spirit

• Flesh can not defeat flesh
• My efforts alone won’t produce Godliness. 
• Galatians 3:2-3 Let me ask you this one question: Did you receive the Holy Spirit by obeying the law of Moses? Of course not! You received the Spirit because you believed the message you heard about Christ. 3 How foolish can you be? After starting your new lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort?
• Galatians 5:17 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. 
• How do we walk in the Spirit? Bottom of page 111

Accountability only works when we invite someone in. We have to give them permission to ask the hard questions.  Mutual Encouragement 

Galatians 6:1-2 Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer[a] is overcome by some sin, you who are godly[b] should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. 2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.

Perceptive trust - trust is earned - baby steps 

Praying for someone we’re helping, coveting he prayers of someone helping us

• Accountability only works when we invite someone in. We have to give them permission to ask the hard questions.  Mutual Encouragement 
• Galatians 6:1-2 Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer[a] is overcome by some sin, you who are godly[b] should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. 2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
• Perceptive trust - trust is earned - baby steps 
• Praying for someone we’re helping, coveting he prayers of someone helping us