The Modern Meeting

Deanna grew up in a strict religious home, under the weight of a tough mother and a childhood that she spent in isolation in her room. Decades later, while raising her daughter with her husband, she experienced loss and she found gambling. She never set foot in a casino, yet she lost millions. All in truck stops, bars, and restaurants. What started as a distraction became destruction. Deanna began borrowing and eventually embezzling from her husband’s business. When he passed away suddenly, the grief nearly consumed her. Her road through recovery hasn’t been a straight line — relapses, setbacks, and moments of reckoning — but today, she’s finally finding her footing with nearly 6 months since her last bet. She’s learning what true recovery feels like, what accountability means, and what it takes to rebuild when the world never seemed to fit.

Content Warning:

This episode contains discussions of suicide and mental health, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you or someone you know is struggling, please consider seeking support. Help is available. In the U.S., you can contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 — available 24/7.

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Adam accepts the job at MGM National Harbor. Saul Malek’s gambling story is short in years — but deep in impact. What began as casual sports betting in college quickly turned into chaos. In less than two years, Saul was juggling debt, hiding lies, and chasing losses through every bailout and bookie he could find. But after hitting his breaking point after a year of GA meetings while still gambling, Saul found hope and with the help of his sponsor, he rebuilt his life from the ground up. Today, Saul travels the country sharing his story, speaking to young people about gambling addiction and recovery. His work is a reminder that you don’t need decades of damage to justify getting help — you just need a moment of honesty.

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Adam and TMM Field Correspondent Alex, discuss the recent allegations surrounding NBA players and coaches involved in gambling scandals. They explore the implications of legalized sports betting, the historical context of gambling in sports, and the impact of gambling addiction on athletes. They also touch on media coverage, the NBA's struggle to maintain integrity while profiting from gambling, and the need for greater awareness and regulation in the industry. 

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In Part 2, I pick up where I left off on October 4, 2020. After a couple wins and being "up" early, the night turned into the kind of long and quiet downfall that defined so much of my gambling. Most of the footage is silent. Just me, a slot machine, and the delusion that this night was going to be different. As I watched it back five years later, I tried to put words to what was happening inside my head during those stretches of silence — the hope, the denial, the self-talk that kept me chasing. 

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On October 4 2020, during my last few weeks living in Las Vegas, I decided to record myself on what I planned to be my last night gambling. I wanted to capture what one of my typical nights in the casino really looked like. I filmed everything from start to finish — rambling to the camera about betting strategies, chasing losses, and dying a slow death at the Keno Slots.

Five years later, in 2025, I’m watching the footage -- some of which I am seeing for the first time. Nothing is edited or filtered. It’s a real, uncut look at how I thought, talked, and justified my actions while deep in addiction.

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Adam is planning his exit strategy in Vegas. Jenn returns to discuss the differences between her first and second year in recovery as she's celebrating 2 years away from a bet. Adam and Jenn reflect on how their recovery has evolved, how to avoid "binge-recovery", and continuing to find balance in their lives. Adam recaps his time at the CCPG Conference in Hartford. 

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Adam and Noah land in Las Vegas. Adam sits down with Tana Russell, Deputy Director of the Evergreen Council on Problem Gambling in Washington State — one of the most forward-thinking organizations in the country when it comes to awareness, training, and prevention. Tana shares how she entered the world of problem gambling support and she breaks down Evergreen’s approach to training clinicians, collaborating with casinos, and creating community programs that actually make an impact.

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In this week’s episode, it's all things Ellie. Adam sits down with his Mom to do a deep dive into his own and their family's history with addiction and gambling. Ellie didn’t grow up surrounded by gambling — but when the casino doors opened in Connecticut in the early ’90s, things changed. Gambling ran in her family, even if she didn’t gamble much herself. It was in her blood. She saw the patterns, the pull, the danger — and she’s the first to admit that if it weren’t for Adam’s dad keeping her grounded, things might’ve gone differently. Through reflection and vulnerability, Ellie comes to a powerful realization: while she may not consider herself a compulsive gambler, she recognizes the importance of staying aware — of keeping an eye on the behaviors that can quietly lead down that path.

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Robert G joined Gamblers Anonymous in 1993, buried under a million dollars in debt and determined to turn his life around. Over three decades later, he’s still showing up — not just for himself, but for others. But Robert’s story isn’t one of perfection. It’s a story about what happens when life catches you off guard, when honesty slips, and when you’re forced to start over even after years of recovery.

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Out of Breath heads back East. Representing a growing wave of young men being pulled into gambling at an alarming rate, Adam sits down with Jon. A recently graduated D-1 college athlete, Jon placed his first bets in high school. Betting sports through bookies, playing online blackjack during school, and checking the lines before and after soccer practice -- John was developing a problem. When COVID hit, stimulus checks and unemployment money gave him more ammo, and he lost it all within months. Jon 's ability to maintain his academics and athletics in college only fueled his delusion that what he was doing was sustainable. After several rock bottoms and a relapse, through the help of his loved ones and the fellowship, Jon is now on a road of recovery. 

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