Azola’s friends welcomed him to fatherhood with a surprise baby shower, called a nappy braai. Instead of the chilled Saturday barbecue he was expecting, they handed him a beer and an adult nappy and told him to suit up.

Azola thinks it’s important to mark milestones. When he was born in South Africa in 1990, the country was just emerging from apartheid. Families didn’t talk openly about their hopes and dreams because life was so uncertain, so he wants to be intentional about celebrating big moments in his children’s lives.

He tells Namulanta how he founded an organisation called Black Dads Unplugged – with the motto “active fatherhood is the new black”. They are part of a new generation of South African dads trying to do things differently.

Letter writer: Azola