This is a deeply personal episode as John and I chat with a world-renowned expert about the ONE thing all relationships need: TRUST.

Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, beloved by millions for his New York Times’  bestselling books on boundaries and trust. 

You may know that John and I were separated for a time in our marriage, and the trust we had was broken. So, how did we repair it? Can trust always be rebuilt? How do you know when it’s time to walk away? 

Today, we’re talking about it. 

Dr. Cloud, John, and I discuss why trust is the most important aspect of any relationship, a framework of questions we can use to know who to trust and how to build it, what to do when trust has been broken, and knowing when to walk away. 


Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. 


Listen in to learn more : 
(00:30 - 01:56) Improving Relationships Through Proactive Communication
(06:00 - 06:54) How The Podcast Is Bringing People Together
(10:03 - 10:54) Building Trust in Relationships
(17:01 - 18:26) Attunement and Motive in Relationships
(37:01 - 37:29) Work Life Balance Discussion


In this episode, we are diving into why “believing the best” and “trusting until there’s a reason not to” aren’t the best ways to approach trust, the relationship between our motives and trust, how forgiveness and trust are related but different, and why being careless is a good thing when it comes to trust. 

Remember to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts to hear what we’re talking about each week…

RESOURCES: 

https://www.drcloud.com/
Dr. Henry Cloud’s website: https://www.boundaries.me/
Dr. Cloud’s book on Trust:  https://www.drcloud.com/books/trust 


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The ONE Thing You Must Have In Any Relationship With Dr. Henry Cloud

Join Emmy-Award winning journalist, Founder of CARRY™ and America’s most curious mom, Paula Faris, as she and her frequent co-host, husband John, talk about the hottest topics that parents are talking about. This listener driven show tackles your big questions: "When to have the sex talk with my kid? Why are we fighting about the dishes again? How can I juggle work and life? Why are teenagers and toddlers so hard?" If you’re talking about it, Paula is talking about it in a real, relatable and authentic manner. Join Paula as she engages in a conversation style of no sugar coating, authenticity and keeping it real. She will have you laughing and learning. Life Happens. Let's Talk About It!

Society & Culture

Personal Journals

History

Philosophy

Places & Travel

It’s the most vulnerable John and I have ever been about our 25+ year relationship, as we talk about the tensions we’ve navigated in our marriage and how we’ve fumbled our way to being equal partners, at home and at work. 

The journey to true partnership hasn’t been easy and, at times, has been clumsier than clean. 

In this conversation, you’ll hear about the scary and supportive decision John made for me early on and how we’ve figured out a way to share the load at home, which has been our BIGGEST source of tension. (That reminds me, who is cooking dinner tonight??) 

If you didn’t love John already, you’re going to love hearing his heart and journey of how he’s been a true partner in every aspect. 

Plus, we discuss some of those antiquated phrases like “stay at home” and “breadwinner”, that just need to go…

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It!

RESOURCES:

Listen in to learn more: 
(00:00) Equal Partnership in Work and Life
(04:09) Gender Roles and Partner Support
(14:52) Navigating Career Changes and Sacrifices
(26:18) Household Partnership and Communication
(32:59) Living With Three Kids and Olympics


SUMMARY
In this episode, we are delving into the importance of having a partner who is your biggest cheerleader, the disservice we do to both men and women when we box each other into specific roles, why the 1950s dynamic many of us have romanticized may not be as ideal as we thought, and a method for sharing the tasks of the home that has been a lifesaver for John and I. 

LINKS:

The shirt I’m wearing is SOLD OUT but here is a similar option - https://amzn.to/4aOHD8K

WIN THE FAIRPLAY BUNDLE AND SIGN UP FOR PAULA’S NEWSLETTER
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Our Ongoing Journey to Being Equal Partners At Work and At Home

Therapist David Thomas is back, answering all your questions about TWEEN and TEEN boys!

Your questions ranged from gaming, discipline, ragey hormones, and phone use to porn, substance use, and body image. Phew! We covered so much. 

David, the host of the Raising Boys and Girls podcast and the Executive Director of Daystar Counseling, will help you navigate these years and give you SO MUCH HOPE.

Share with anyone who could use some insight into tween and teen boys. They’re precious but so misunderstood. 

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. 


Listen in to learn more: 
(10:42 - 11:32) Consequences of Phone Misuse
(18:25 - 19:50) Supporting Boys Through Peer Pressure
(29:51 - 30:51) Addressing Pornography and Male-Female Relationships


In this episode, we are diving into healthy boundaries on gaming and technology, why helping our kids regulate is the first step of discipline, consequences that make sense (besides just taking away screens!), body image conversations with our boys, and helping our sons navigate through instead of numbing out when things get tough.

Resources: 

CONNECT WITH DAVID: 
https://www.daystarcounseling.com/ 

FOLLOW DAVID/DAYSTAR ON INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/raisingboysandgirls/

DAVID’S BOOK RAISING EMOTIONALLY STRONG BOYS:
https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Emotionally-Strong-Boys-Tools/dp/0764239988

DAVID'S PODCAST - https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/podcast 

Here’s a great phone contract to sign with your kids from WAIT UNTIL 8th.  
https://static1.squarespace.com/static/58938b9fbebafb25099e8c5b/t/654cfadfc2beb7065a3dbb16/1699543775246/Wait+Until+8th+Family+Phone+Plan.pdf 


LINK TO PAULA’S NEWSLETTER
https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter 


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Answering Your Questions About Tween and Teen Boys, PT 2

To be honest, I’ve had a difficult time connecting with my boys. At times, I’ve wondered, and you may have, too, “Is anything connecting?” On top of that, my teen son recently told me that I don’t understand him. I know so many of you are right there, too. That’s why we’re talking about it. 

David Thomas, the Executive Director of Daystar Counseling is joining the conversation to  help us make sense of tween and teen boys. (I have cried tears of joy and relief since talking with him!) 

This is the first of two episodes in which we’ll discuss what’s happening in the boy brain, their different stages of development, how we can best support them, and why we need to extend their runway to age 25. 

David also hilariously explains what happens to their collective IQ when a group of adolescent boys gets together and why they only seem to open up at night. (It’s a thing!)

This conversation is setting up next week’s episode, in which we will answer all your questions about tween and teen boys in an insightful Q&A with David. 

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. 


Listen in to learn more: 
(00:00 - 00:26) Developmental Differences in Adolescence
(01:32 - 03:15) Understanding Tween and Teen Boys
(09:23 - 10:59) Parenting Through Adolescent Development
(14:20 - 15:25) Understanding Adolescents Through the Enneagram
(19:15 - 20:20) Boys, Pornography, and Parental Supervision
(21:29 - 22:28) Stages of Adolescent Development
(28:51 - 30:16) Navigating Motherhood With Steadiness and Support

SUMMARY:
In this episode, we discuss how to communicate with tween and teen boys in a nonthreatening way, the developmental differences between boys and girls, how we can best support and nurture our boys' unique wiring, why ages 13-15 are so tough for teen boys and their parents and hope for the future of our relationships with our sons. 

LINKS: 

CONNECT WITH DAVID: 
https://www.daystarcounseling.com/

FOLLOW DAVID/DAYSTAR ON INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/raisingboysandgirls/

DAVID’S BOOK WILD THINGS:
https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Things-Art-Nurturing-Boys/dp/1414322275

LINK TO PAULA’S NEWSLETTER
https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter

FOLLOW PAULA ON INSTAGRAM  
https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en

LINK TO CARRY’S NEWSLETTER 
https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/
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Making Sense of Tween and Teen Boys (with author and counselor David Thomas) Part One

One of the scariest, yet best things our family did was moving from NYC to a small town in South Carolina in 2020. Has there been a lot of GAIN in our life because of it? Absolutely. But, there’s also been a lot of things we’ve GIVEN UP because of it. 

We’ve created a life we love and my guest today, Stephanie May Wilson, is going to take us through three steps to help you create a life you love, as well. She’s even written a new best-selling book about it! 

Stephanie is doing just that in her own life, moving her young family to Spain (wait until you hear why!) to create a life they love. It’s a decision that’s both scary and exhilarating. 
How often do we get ourselves twisted up making a decision we think will please someone else, or living another life that’s not authentic to us?

Stephanie has four words for all of us: YOU GET TO DECIDE. 

Friends, we get to decide. Yes, there will be gain, as well as giving up. But, we get to decide. 


Listen in to learn more: 
(6:04 -9:37) Childcare Costs and Women in the Workforce
(9:38 - 12:46) Defining Life Moments Before Age 35
(13:21 - 14:34) Pressure of Turning 30 (or 40, 0r 50)
(16:56 - 17:49) You Get to Decide
(17:50 - 19:23) Three Things To Quiet the Noise and Find Out What You Want Out of Life
(21:23 - 22:51) When Our Choices are Limited by Circumstances

SUMMARY:
In this episode, we are delving into the pressures of building a career and a family at the same time, the power of making decisions (even when our choices are limited by our circumstances), 3 things you can do to quiet the noise and figure out what you want out of life, and the hard reality that even the best choices will come with sacrifice. 

LINKS: 

LINK TO STEPHANIE’S WEBSITE:
https://stephaniemaywilson.com/


LINK TO STEPHANIE’S BOOK:
https://www.amazon.com/Create-Life-You-Love-Outside-ebook/dp/B0CCV1RMLV


LINK TO STEPHANIE’S PODCAST:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/girls-night-with-stephanie-may-wilson/id1278993781


LINK TO PAULA’S NEWSLETTER
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Three Steps to Creating the Life You LOVE

We’re answering your questions about teen drinking and substance abuse because it’s a topic that you’re asking us to talk about and a topic that is causing a lot of tension in your homes. 

I remember taking my first drink when I was five. My dad gave me a sip of his beer, and I loved it but never abused it growing up. Conversely, John distanced himself from alcohol until he was in his 20s because of an alcoholic grandfather. So, out of the gate, we’re approaching this subject from different perspectives.

Because we wanted to stick to the facts and the hard questions on this topic, we’ve invited Jessica Lahey, an author and expert on it, to the conversation. She’s a recovering alcoholic and has been researching and writing about it for over a decade. 

We’re going to tackle all your questions: Should you give your teens a safe space to drink? What is it doing to their brains? What are the real numbers? And we’re going to bust some myths about it in the process. 

Life happens, friends. Let’s talk about it. 

Listen in to learn more : 

(00:40 - 01:39) Mother's Day Gift Planning With Paula
(05:33 - 07:21) Parenting and Substance Abuse Prevention
(08:37 - 09:53) Substance Use Risk and Adolescence
(15:08 - 16:09) Trends in Adolescent Substance Use
(25:40 - 26:54) Concerns About Adolescent Vaping and Addiction
(29:25 - 31:05) Parenting and Conflicting Views on Alcohol
(32:52 - 34:08) Parental Approach to Underage Drinking
(36:18 - 37:49) Teen Substance Abuse Risks and Facts

In this episode, we are digging into why age matters when it comes to substance use and its effects on the brain, how substances have changed from when we were growing up, the statistics on substance use in teens and young adults, and why providing a “safe place” for teens to drink may have different results than you might think. 

LINKS 

LINK TO JESSICA’S WEBSITE
https://www.jessicalahey.com/

LINK TO PAULA’S NEWSLETTER
https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter


FOLLOW PAULA ON INSTAGRAM  
https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en


LINK TO CARRY’S NEWSLETTER 
https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/


Mother’s Day Giveaway with ABLE 
Mamas, our team at CARRY™️ is giving away a bundle of our favorite things that go in The CARRY ALL bag (the ultimate working mom bag, our collaboration with  ABLE )

Not only can you get 30% off the bag and ABLE’s entire site using the code CARRYMOM30 (through May 8)…
10 OF YOU ARE WINNING THIS BUNDLE
-Owala water bottle (because there’s an interior water bottle holder in the bag!)
-GOODR Sunglasses gift card
-SIMPLIFIED Planner from their new spring line
-ABLE Leather conditioner to keep your bag beautiful
-Signed copies of Paula’s books– “WHO Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up” and “You Don’t Have To CARRY It All”
TOTAL = $175 VALUE
HOW DO YOU ENTER?
Anyone who has ordered the bag from March through May 8 is automatically entered to win. We’ll do the rest! We have your contact information and will contact the winners by May 10. 
Purchase your bag today! https://bit.ly/4dqGTsR

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The ONE Thing You Must Have In Any Relationship With Dr. Henry Cloud

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