Youth sports are out of control. And the worst part? We might be part of the problem.

Spoiler alert: I know I am. I’m the mom with a packed sports calendar, a trunk full of Chick-fil-A, and a competitive streak that sometimes gets the best of me. Guilty as charged.

I’m also a coach's wife, so this topic hits close to home. 

We’re closing out Momfessions, our month-long series where we’ve said the quiet parts of parenting out loud. And for our final confession, I’m joined once again by my teammate at CARRY Media, Kristen White, a mom of three boys.

This week: Why youth sports are out of control—and why we might be part of the problem.

Kids are specializing younger. Parents are spending more money than ever. And somewhere along the way, sports stopped being about kids having fun and started feeling like a full-time job for the whole family.

Here’s the wild part: When kids were asked what makes sports fun, winning ranked 48th. They cared more about playing with friends, getting better, feeling supported, and having fun.

So maybe the question isn’t, “How far can my child go in sports?” Maybe it’s, “What do I want sports to teach my child?”

This one might ruffle a few feathers (or cleats 😉). But as always with Momfessions... we’re willing to look in the mirror.

Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more: 

[0:00:00] Youth Sports Are Out of Control

[0:05:15] Kids Quit Because It’s Not Fun

[0:06:40] Early Specialization and Burnout

[0:09:06] Parents’ Behavior Driving Pressure

[0:10:53] Winning Matters Less to Kids

[0:13:25] The Scholarship and Pro Fantasy

[0:16:20] Chasing Travel Ball and Private Coaches

[0:17:56] Parent Ego and Living Through Kids

[0:18:32] Remembering the Real Purpose of Sports

[0:19:40] Power of Great Coaches and Other Adults

[0:20:35] You Either Win or Learn

[0:22:07] Core Question: What Should Sports Teach Our Kids?

In this episode, we are digging into youth sports culture, the benefits and costs of youth sports, why kids want to play sports versus why parents want them to play, the odds of playing college sports or becoming a professional athlete, the importance of great coaches and trusted mentors in the lives of kids and teens, and how to keep the focus on the value of youth sports and why kids play in the first place.

Resources

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We’re back with a Momfessions confession that might hit close to home: are we accidentally raising sons who expect too much from women? 

I’m joined by my teammate at CARRY Media, Kristen White, a mom of three boys, for a candid conversation about the messages our sons absorb about work, caregiving, and what they should expect from a future partner.

Oof. We’re going there.

Between the two of us, we’re raising five boys, and this conversation has been brewing in my mind for years: Are we raising sons who expect a partner…or a parent?

And listen, this was an uncomfortable conversation for us. It made us examine our own habits, our own assumptions, and the messages we may be sending without even realizing it. But uncomfortable conversations are often the ones we most need to have.

Before you come for us, this is NOT a working-mom-VS-stay-at-home-mom debate. It’s something much deeper.

What are our sons learning about women from watching us? Are they learning that caregiving belongs to women, or that family life belongs to everyone? They’re watching everything. 

We talk about why boys need to see moms with dreams, goals, and identities outside of motherhood, and why they need to see fathers cooking, cleaning, caregiving, and showing up as true partners.

Because I don’t want my sons to grow up looking for someone to cook and clean for them. I want them to grow up wanting to build a life alongside someone, not expect someone to carry it all.

This one will ruffle some feathers. But that’s what Momfessions is all about.

Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more: 

0:01:00] Are We Raising Sons for Partnership or Service?

[0:03:39] The Cost of “Automatic” Mothering for Our Sons’ Expectations

[0:05:00] Do Boys Learn Caregiving Belongs to Women?

[0:07:58] Modeling True Partnership and Domestic Equity at Home

[0:10:20] Spousal Equity and Joint Career Decisions in Marriage

[0:12:22] Kids Seeing Mom’s Ambition and Dad Tag‑Teaming at Home

[0:14:14] Research: How Working Moms Shape Sons’ and Daughters’ Futures

[0:16:30] Teaching Kids “See a Need, Meet a Need” as a Family Ethic

[0:18:18] Why Engaged Fatherhood Radically Shapes Boys and Girls

[0:19:18] Kids Aren’t the Center of the Universe: Healthy Family Priorities

In this episode, we are diving into how boys learn to respect and value women by observing their mothers, why moms need personal goals and priorities beyond parenting, the critical role of active fathers, the benefits of strong parenting partnerships, the family motto “see a need, meet a need,” and how shared family responsibilities help raise confident, responsible, and contributing children.

Connect with Paula on Instagram 

Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! 

THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! 

Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All

Download the Savor Your Summer Guide HERE

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I’ve always said: boys are a heart attack and girls are a heartache. And if you’ve ever rushed a son to the ER or helped your daughter navigate friendship drama, you probably know exactly what I mean

We’re back with Momfessions–our month-long series, talking about how we really feel about some of parenting's biggest, hottest topics. And I’m joined by my teammate at CARRY Media, Kristen White, a mom to three boys. 

This week: Why We Raise Boys and Girls Differently (Without Even Realizing It)

It got me thinking: are those differences really about our kids…or about how we’re raising them? 

Kristin and I talk about the stereotypes we’ve accepted, the double standards we don’t even notice, and the different expectations we place on our sons and daughters, from emotions and independence to responsibility and resilience.

And my biggest takeaway? Maybe we need to stop telling our boys to “man up” and start teaching all our kids to simply be good humans.

This one might make you laugh, cringe, and rethink a few things (it certainly did for me).

Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more:

[0:00:08] Baptism by Boy Mom Life

[0:03:20] Girls are Heartache, Boys are Heart Attack

[0:04:00] When the ER Becomes Your Second Home

[0:05:25] The Golf Course Splinter Saga

[0:08:09] Girl Drama, Social Media, and Mama Heartache

[0:09:31] Caroline’s Leadership vs. Little Brother Chaos

In this episode, we are diving into the unique challenges of parenting boys and girls, how gender stereotypes and societal expectations shape our approach to parenting, and the importance of being intentional as we raise confident, compassionate children with strong character.

Connect with Paula on Instagram 

Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! 

THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! 

Download the Savor Your Summer Guide HERE

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back with Momfessions–—our month-long series, talking about how we really feel about some of parenting's biggest, hottest topics. And I’m joined by my teammate at CARRY Media, Kristen White, a mom to three boys. 

This week: Why Summer Isn't a Break.

We spend all year dreaming about summer, but when it finally arrives, many of us are juggling childcare, camps, schedules, work, guilt, and the pressure to make it all feel magical. 

In this episode, we're sharing our real thoughts about summer, why so many parents feel exhausted before it even begins, and practical ways to enjoy it without burning out. Plus, Kristen introduces a simple idea called "Proof of Mom" that just might change the way you experience this season.

Because your kids aren't the only ones allowed to have a summer.

Let's Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more:

[0:00:37] Complicated Feelings About Kids Home All Day

[0:01:08] Expectation vs Reality of the Perfect Summer

[0:03:25] Proof of Mom and Moms in Their Own Memories

[0:05:01] The Impossible Math of Summer Childcare

[0:09:27] Lowering the Bar on a Magical Summer

In this episode, we are digging into summer parenting challenges for working parents, including summer childcare and scheduling issues, managing the mental load, letting go of unrealistic expectations and the pressure to make summer magical, why it's okay for kids to be bored, and why children benefit from seeing their parents enjoy summer, hobbies, and personal time too.

LINKS

Connect with Paula on Instagram 

Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! 

THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter  is on Substack!! 

Download the Savor Your Summer Guide HERE

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All month long, Kristen White and I are sharing our Momfessions – how we really feel about some of parenting’s biggest, messiest, most talked-about topics.

Kristen is my teammate at CARRY Media and a boy mom to three boys, so trust me: we have thoughts.

First up: Maycember.

You know…the month we just survived. But barely. 

It’s the month that feels like December-level chaos but delivers exactly none of the holiday magic. Concerts. Field days. Teacher gifts. Sports banquets. Spirit weeks. Summer planning. Working. Parenting. Existing. Graduations! 

In this episode, we’re looking back at what May did to us, why modern parenting feels unsustainable this time of year, and practical ways to make sure next May doesn’t completely take us out.

Because if next May looks exactly like this May…we may not make it.

Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more:

[0:00:00] Maycember Overwhelm for Parents

[0:06:59] Mental Load and Triple Logistics in May

[0:09:54] Letting Go of Guilt and Missed Events

[0:18:38] You Can’t Do It All, and That’s Okay

[0:21:03] Minimum Viable Parenting Mindset

[0:24:16] Evolving Beyond the Pinterest Mom

[0:24:57] Workplaces Need May Flexibility

In this episode, we are digging into surviving the chaos of “Maycember,” the challenges of balancing school activities with standard work hours, how our communication with our kids shapes their perceptions, practical strategies for managing busy families, giving yourself grace as a parent, and how employers can better support working parents during the demanding month of May.

Connect with Paula on Instagram 

Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! 

THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is now on Substack!! 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I knew this would be emotional. 

I just didn’t realize it would be this hard.

In the final episode of my I Wish Someone Had Told Me series, I’m sitting down with Niro Feliciano—a mom of four who’s already been through this—to talk about my daughter’s graduation…and honestly, I’m a hot mess.

People can try to explain what the moment is like, but until you’re in it, it’s hard to fully comprehend.

Someone once described it as “grief wrapped in celebration,” and honestly, that’s the best way to put it.

You’re so proud. Super excited for them.And at the same time… you’re trying to process how fast it all went.

We talk about:

That “weird trifecta” of emotions—happy, sad, and everything in between

How the rhythm of your family changes overnight

And what’s on the other side of this: a different, and often deeper, relationship with your child

Niro is also our comfort animal (lol) because she offers perspective, encouragement, and the reminder that this season—while hard—is also full of growth and beauty.

If you’re in this season—or heading toward it—let’s talk about it. 

Because it’s not the end, but it is a change.

And it’s okay to feel all of it.

Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more: 

In this episode, we are digging into why high school graduation can feel like grief wrapped in celebration, how parenting years pass so quickly, why major life transitions can resurface past grief, the evolving parent-child relationship after graduation, and practical advice for parents navigating every stage of raising teens and young adults.

THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter  is on Substack!! https://officialcarrymedia.substack.com/

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Niro Felicano 

Paula’s Favorite Protein Powder 15% off

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There was a season not long ago when I didn’t feel like myself at all. Overwhelmed. Emotional. In a really dark place.

No one really prepares you for this part.

Perimenopause isn’t just hot flashes and mood swings; it can quietly impact your mental health in ways you don’t expect.

Even though I could point to many of the reasons… I wasn’t at all prepared for how deeply it would affect me.

In this episode, I’m opening up about that season, and I’m joined by my friend, psychotherapist Niro Feliciano, to help make sense of what so many women in midlife are quietly experiencing.

For many of us, it’s a perfect storm: grief, stress, shifting identity, and hormonal changes all colliding at once.

We talk about:

Why some women experience anxiety or depression for the first time

Why this stage of life can feel so emotionally intense

How hormonal shifts impact your brain, mood, and sense of self

And what actually helps: support, connection, and getting the right kind of care

If you’ve been feeling off, overwhelmed, or not like yourself… you’re not alone, and you don’t have to carry this by yourself.

Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more: 

[0:03:17] Suicide Risk Peaks at Midlife

[0:06:49] Therapy as Lifeline in the Darkest Season

[0:13:10] Dopamine, Screens & Perimenopause Vulnerability

[0:15:11] HRT, Testosterone & Rethinking SSRIs

[0:21:18] Social Health, Friendship & Longevity

In this episode, we are diving into how perimenopause affects mental health, including hormone-related mood changes, stress, anxiety, and depression, the “perfect storm” of emotional challenges and stressors in midlife, finding the right therapist, and the powerful role of friendship and emotional support in overall wellness. 

If you need someone to talk to, you can call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We tell our kids to get off their phones…But, um, if we’re honest, we’re often the worst offenders. 🤭

So how do we actually build healthy, sustainable phone habits that work in real life?

In part two of my I Wish Someone Had Told Me series, I’m back with psychotherapist Niro Feliciano, and we’re not just naming the problem—we’re talking about how to fix it.

We talk about:

Why adults actually have the worst phone habits

The surprising stat about Gen Z that might give you hope

Why more time online can leave us feeling more disconnected

The “slow living” movement and simple ways to start

Practical, doable habits you can implement right away

If you’ve ever picked up your phone for one thing… and lost 30 minutes, you’re not alone.

The goal isn’t to ditch your phone, it’s to finally feel in control of it!

Let’s Talk About It. 

Listen in to learn more: 

[0:00:41] Adults Have Worse Phone Habits Than Their Kids

[0:02:20] Gen Z Leads the Way in Cutting Screen Time

[0:04:14] Mornings Without Phones Improve Mood and Productivity

[0:09:58] Dopamine, Addiction, and Doing Media Fasts

[0:12:02] Grayscale, App Moves, and Notification Detox

[0:19:12] Enjoying Life More When the Phone Isn’t Visible

[0:20:43] Embracing Slow Living and Intentional Offline Moments

SUMMARY: 

In this episode, we are diving into how to create healthier phone habits through phone-free moments, analog activities, and slow living, practical tips for setting better boundaries with screen time, and why life feels more balanced and fulfilling when your phone is put away.

LINKS

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Get Paula's personal newsletter

Niro Felicano 

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YOUTUBE 

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https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en 

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Connect with Niro - https://www.nirofeliciano.com/

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There’s a shift happening.

For the first time, we’re seeing legal accountability for social media companies, growing cultural pushback on screen time, and even the return of something we thought was gone for good—the landline! 

All of it pointing to one question: what are phones actually doing to our kids?

We gave them for all the right reasons: safety, connection, convenience.But we know more now than we did then.

And if we’re honest… we might have done things differently.

In the first episode of my I Wish Someone Had Told Me series, I’m joined by my friend—author, mom, and psychotherapist Niro Feliciano—for a real, no-judgment conversation about giving phones to our kids.

Because chances are… you’ve already done it. I have too.

We talk about:

The cultural pushback

Legal accountability and what it means

The changes we’ve seen in our own kids 

Plus, the return of the landline

And why this becomes one of the biggest parenting battles. 

If you’re wondering “What have I done… and what do I do now?”—this episode is for you.

We know more now. And it’s never too late for us to do better. Let’s Talk About It. 

SUMMARY

In this episode, we are digging into parenting decisions around kids and smartphones, how and why those rules evolve over time, landmark court cases on social media’s impact on teen mental health, the dopamine deficit and why social media use often looks a lot like addiction, the importance of nuanced family tech conversations, how boredom builds resilience in children and teens, the resurgence of landlines, and smartphone alternatives for families.

Next week: I Wish Someone Had Told Me Adults Have the Worst Phone Habits

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Let’s answer the questions everyone asks about the Enneagram:

Can your type change? Why do your results keep changing? What if you relate to more than one type?

We’re wrapping up our month-long series with Enneagram expert and author Ian Morgan Cron by getting clear on what actually matters about the Enneagram.

This isn’t about traits. It’s about motivation: why you do what you do.

We get into mistypes, bad tests, and why you can’t outsource this to a quiz and call it done.

There’s no “best” type, but there is a healthiest version of you, and the Enneagram can help you get there.

Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It.

Listen in to learn more: 

[0:00:00] Type Doesn’t Change, But You Evolve

[0:04:09] Why Your Test Results Keep Shifting

[0:07:21] You Are All Nine Types, But One Dominates

[0:10:19] Common Mistypes and Confusing Wings

[0:14:42] No “Best” Type and How Leaders Show Up as Nines

In this episode, we are diving into whether your Enneagram type can change over time, common Enneagram mistypes, why you shouldn’t only rely on an Enneagram test to determine your type, which Enneagram type is considered the best, and which Enneagram type is the hardest to parent.

LINKS

Connect with Paula on Instagram 

Get Paula's personal newsletter– win Ian’s book! 

Meet Ian Morgan Cron 

Take Ian’s Enneagram Assessment: Code PAULA for 15% off 

THE CARRY™ ALL NEWSLETTER by and for working moms

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