The Parenting Reframe

If you’re parenting a tween or teen and find yourself thinking,

“They’re old enough to know better — why are we still having these battles?”
...this episode is for you.

Behavioral pushback. Eye rolls. Explosive transitions. Power struggles over iPads, phones, and homework. When our big kids act out, it’s easy to tell ourselves it’s personal—and that they should just “do better.” But that story? It’s keeping you stuck in a pattern that exhausts everyone involved.

In this episode, Albiona uncovers one of the most common reframes she shares with parents of tweens and teens—and why learning to anchor yourself (instead of arguing back) is the shift that creates real change.

She covers:

• What to do when your child’s behavior feels deliberate
• How “they should know better by now” becomes a parenting trap
• Why many parents escalate with their kids (and how to step out of the spiral)
• The phrase to stop saying (and what to do instead when emotions run high)
• How to set boundaries and hold compassion (without giving in again)

Plus:

• Why overexplaining and lecturing rarely work
• How small shifts—like setting limits quietly and clearly—change everything
• A concrete example of how one parent solved morning chaos without yelling

Whether your child is 9 or 16, you’ll walk away with a clearer understanding of your role as the anchor, not the mirror, when emotions rise.

Resources & Links:

• Book a Free Discovery Call with Albiona → https://calendly.com/albiona324/discovery-call 
  Want real-time parenting strategies personalized to your child and your triggers? Albiona’s currently enrolling for 1:1 coaching in early 2026. This 12-week container gives you the tools, support, and calm you’ve truly needed.
  Learn more + schedule your free call: https://calendly.com/albiona324/discovery-call
• Follow Albiona on Instagram → @theparentingreframe
• Watch the viral video this episode was based on → https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTrNwRwbV/

If this episode hit home:

Please subscribe, rate, and review the show. Then send the link to a friend who's struggling with their tween or teen. It might be the exact reframe they needed.

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

• Why your child’s defiance isn’t disrespect — it’s communication.
• How to shift from “fixing your child” to regulating yourself first.
• The power of posture and tone: why sitting down and lowering your voice changes everything.
• How to stop over-talking, over-teaching, and over-correcting — and what to do instead.
• Ways to parent as a team, even when one parent is more reactive.
• How to reframe strong-willed behavior as a sign of strength and leadership in development.
• Why connection — not compliance — is the foundation of real discipline.

• Calm isn’t passive; it’s anchored leadership.
• Your child’s behavior is not a reflection of your worth.
• Connection before correction always creates more cooperation.
• Every strong-willed child is asking: “Can I trust you to stay calm when I’m not?”

• Founder of Celebrate Calm and host of The Calm Parenting Podcast
• Has helped over 1 million families bring peace and connection into their homes
• Known for his practical tools, humor, and grounded wisdom

👉 Learn more at celebratecalm.com
👉 Follow Kirk on Instagram @calmparentingpodcast

• Purchase The PARR Journal — a guided tool to help you pause, acknowledge, respond, and reflect.
• Join Albiona’s free live PARR Workshop over Zoom when you purchase your journal.
• Learn more at theparentingreframe.com
• Follow on Instagram @theparentingreframe

👉 Click here to purchase your journal and save your workshop spot.

“I realized I needed my son to behave so that I could behave. Once I learned to control myself, everything changed.” – 

Kirk Martin

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this solo episode, Albiona explores one of the most common parenting struggles — reactivity. Whether you find yourself yelling, shutting down, or feeling guilty after the fact, this episode offers a powerful shift.

Albiona walks you through her four-step PARR Process — Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect — to help you regulate your emotions, understand your triggers, and respond with more presence and connection.

She also shares how journaling transformed her parenting and how the PARR Journal can help you do the same.

✨ Purchase The PARR Journal and save your spot for Albiona’s free live PARR Workshop over Zoom.

Click here to order your journal and join the workshop.

Follow @theparentingreframe on Instagram or visit theparentingreframe.com to learn more.

Albiona’s email address: [email protected]

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this heartfelt solo episode, host Albiona Rakipi dives deep into one of the most common (and emotionally triggering) parenting challenges: separation anxiety. But this isn’t your typical advice—this is a powerful reframe.

You’ll learn why children protest when you leave, why dragging out your goodbye actually makes things harder, and how your own guilt might be sending the wrong message—even when you mean well.

Most importantly, this episode gives you practical, loving strategies to help your child build self-trust, navigate hard feelings, and develop resilience, while giving yourself full permission to live a full, joyful life.

Whether you’re heading to work or heading to dinner with friends, this episode reminds you: your joy is not selfish—it’s vital.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• Why separation anxiety is not “bad behavior,” but a growth edge
• The #1 mistake parents make when saying goodbye (and how to fix it)
• What your child actually needs in those tough emotional moments
• How to build a "bridge" between separation and safety
• Why your self-trust is the foundation for your child’s regulation
• How to reframe “mom guilt” when you choose something just for you
• The link between predictability and reduced anxiety in kids
• The critical difference between empathy and enmeshment
• Real-life scripts and object-leaving strategies to ease transitions
• Why calm isn’t the opposite of anxiety—self-trust is

Quotes to Remember:

• “The opposite of anxiety isn’t calm—it’s self-trust.”
• “Every time you go back in a panic, you’re telling your child they can’t handle hard things.”
• “Your child doesn’t need you to sacrifice everything—they need you to model wholeness.”
• “Joy begets joy. When you honor your needs, your kids benefit too.”

Resources Mentioned:

• Substack Paid Parenting Community: https://albiona.substack.com/subscribe
• Book a 1:1 Coaching Discovery Call: https://calendly.com/albiona324/discovery-call

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

• The key differences between consequences and punishments
• Why kids need consequences to feel safe and learn boundaries
• How punishments often come from a place of reactivity and dysregulation
• The role of natural consequences (like forgetting a water bottle) and logical consequences (thoughtful parent responses)
• Why the boundary itself often is the consequence
• How to implement breaks/resets (instead of timeouts) to help kids regulate
• The importance of creating safe struggles to build resilience
• When redirection works best (and why it backfires with older kids)
• Scripts and phrases you can use to give your kids autonomy while holding limits

• Explore coaching and parenting support at The Parenting Reframe
• Book a free discovery call to see if 1:1 coaching is right for your family

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this warm conversation Tembi and Albiona cover:

• How From Scratch began — writing personal grief into a story that reaches others, and how that book later became a Netflix limited series. (Simon & Schuster)
• What “re-nesting” means (replacing the idea of an “empty nest” with a more generative, whole concept) and practical ways parents can prepare emotionally for children leaving home. (People.com)
• The creative process Tembi uses: listening, journaling, & exploring different art forms; writing as a practice to slow down and make meaning. (tembilocke.com)
• Concrete ideas listeners can use right away: short daily rituals (15–45 min), journaling prompts, scheduling “pre-planned joy,” somatic self-care, and negotiating new family rhythms like weekly check-ins.
• A deep look at Someday, Now — why Tembi created an immersive audio experience (ambient Sicily soundscapes plus narration), and what she hopes listeners will feel after they finish it: that there is possibility, love, and room for transformation even in endings. (Audible.com)

• Tembi Locke — official site / about & book resources. (tembilocke.com)
• From Scratch — publisher page (Simon & Schuster). (Simon & Schuster)
• Someday, Now — Simon & Schuster audio page (audio edition/details). (Simon & Schuster)
• Someday, Now — Audible audio listing/preorder. (Narrated by Tembi Locke; release details & preorder.) (Audible.com)

Tembi Locke on Instagram (announcements & behind-the-scenes). (Instagram)

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

• The inspiration behind Kids These Days and why Dr. Dobud and Dr. Harper felt compelled to write it.
• The three frameworks of the book: interference, intervention, and ideology—and how they’re shaping modern childhood.
• Why blaming phones and social media is an oversimplification of a much bigger picture.
• The concept of digital integration vs. digital interference—and how parents can approach technology more thoughtfully.
• How to foster resilience and mastery in kids without overstepping or over-fixing.
• The overlooked power of gratitude, generosity, and noticing what’s working in our kids.
• Why boundaries paired with empathy create the conditions for true growth.
• A reframe for parents: shifting from control and fear to presence, connection, and curiosity.

• 🌟 Preorder Kids These Days by Dr. Will Dobud & Dr. Nevin Harper: kidsthesedaysbook.com
• Connect with Dr. Will Dobud on social media and at outdoortherapycentre.com
• Learn more about my work with parents: The Parenting Reframe
• Follow me on Instagram and TikTok for more parenting information

⭐️ If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more parents can discover these conversations.

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I’m back for another solo episode today after a little bit of a summer break. I gathered some of your most common questions from my workshops, coaching sessions, and social media comments. In this episode I’m walking you through a few of the struggles that share a common thread and giving insight into what makes these things difficult for parents and how to work through them.

Kids Who Don’t Like Losing

• There are a lot of triggers for parents that come along with having a child who doesn’t like to lose which can cause eggshell parenting.
• When your child struggles to deal with something like disappointment or frustration, the answer is always that they need to experience it more often.
• Your reaction to their emotions as a parent is so important. Staying regulated in the moment will help deescalate the situation.
• Lectures don’t work. You’re helping them learn the life skill of tolerating frustration and managing the emotions that come with the frustration. 

Public Outbursts

• We sense all of the people in a public situation and it usually feels much more judgmental in our minds than it actually is because of insecurities. 
• When our ability to parent is tethered to our child’s behavior, it makes things very difficult.
• Make an action plan and practice getting cooperation at home so your child is prepared when you do a test run in public. 
• Set your kids up for success so you aren’t trying to complete tasks when they’re already over tired, hungry, etc.

PARR 

• This was created for anyone who needs to work through managing their own emotions and reactions. 
• Pausing is an important reminder that we can take the time to slow down and not make rapid fire decisions in the moment.
• Always reflect on “what does my child need at this moment?” You know your child best and can better understand their needs when you have paused.

When Your Kids Don’t Listen

• We rely on the idea that if our kids have the knowledge, they will react or behave appropriately. This simply isn’t true because their brains aren’t developed in this way yet.
• Kids are wondering “what happens when…” and they are curious what the outcome will be on the other side of their behavior. 
• Once they know the action that is paired with your language is consistent, they will start listening better.
• We need to remember kids are simple and we usually overcomplicate things.

Getting Your Kids to Listen the First Time You Ask Workshop: https://www.theparentingreframe.com/shop/p/getting-your-kids-to-listen-the-first-time-you-ask 

Four Reaction Types Podcast Episode: https://theparentingreframe.simplecast.com/episodes/beyond-good-or-bad-the-3-parental-reaction-blueprints

Schedule a free call about my 1:1 coaching, Reclaim Your Calm - https://www.theparentingreframe.com/coaching

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In today’s solo episode, I’m answering your questions about how to ensure we don’t raise entitled kids. This is an important question that many of you have asked me on all my platforms. Being entitled can be a very triggering thing for a lot of parents, especially those that grew up without a lot of wealth. We want to teach our kids a sense of gratitude and caring for others. What it really comes down to is teaching kids the ability to tolerate frustration and deal with an outcome they don’t want. I’m sharing three things you can do at home to help build a tolerance for frustration.

• Gain the ability to wait
  • Waiting will elicit frustration in kids, but if they want it badly enough, they will wait it out.
  • How often do we quickly accommodate simple tasks for our child when we could weave in a wait time?
  • By doing this, we are delaying gratification.
• Play a game with your child
  • Make sure you go first and they go second.
  • Find the longest amount of time they can wait, and then allow them to take their turn. 
  • Meet them where they’re at no matter how short the amount of time they can wait is.
• Let them struggle through a task
  • Kids will often feign an ability to do something on their own even though they’re capable.
  • The whining that happens with a task they don’t want to do is because they can’t tolerate the frustration of struggling with a task.
  • Encourage them to keep trying, assuming you have the time.

Paid Substack Community - https://albiona.substack.com/

Schedule a free call about my 1:1 coaching, Reclaim Your Calm - https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-discovery-call-ck6qf

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/ 

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe 

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I get asked all the time about creating content and writing. In this video, I share a few tips on where to start if you don’t consider yourself creative, as well as the three books that changed the way I approach creativity, vulnerability, and fear.

Here are the three books I mentioned:

The Tools and True and False Magic. The Tools is by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels, and True and False Magic is written by Phil Stutz and Elise Loehnen (I spoke with Elise about this book on the podcast; you can listen here).

Awaken Your Genius by Ozan Varol (He is one of my favorite writers)

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron (Morning pages changed my life)

If the messages I’m sharing in this series resonate with you, I’d like to dive deeper to help you break free from what's holding you back.

My transformation sessions are designed to help you move through fear, release blocks, and embrace change, guiding you to unleash the greatest version of yourself. Through a unique inner-parenting approach, you'll gain the tools to navigate any adversity.

Email me at [email protected] to start your transformative journey.

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.