The Physician Whisperer

Send us Fan Mail

Ever wonder why setting boundaries as a physician feels like trying to learn rocket science? You're brilliant, you've mastered complex medical concepts, yet saying "no" to one more request feels impossibly difficult. Here's the truth: You weren't taught how to set boundaries – you were actively trained to sacrifice yourself for others.

The Car Manual Revelation
Picture this: I'm sitting in my new electric car with my tech-savvy 13-year-old, trying to learn the features while driving. He's read the entire manual and is spewing facts about the parking system when all I need to know is where the windshield wiper button is. Sound familiar? That's exactly how most of us approach learning boundaries, self-care, and making our lives easier – we get overwhelmed with information instead of practical, immediately applicable skills.

Why Boundary-Setting Feels Like Medical School All Over Again (But Worse)
As physicians, we survived years of hierarchical learning where we were fed information and tested on facts. But here's what nobody told you: Adult learning is completely different, and understanding these principles is the key to finally mastering boundaries without the overwhelm and burnout.

The 5 Adult Learning Principles That Will Transform Your Boundary Practice:

1. Internal Motivation (Not External Pressure)

You need crystal-clear reasons WHY you're setting boundaries. When that email request comes in asking you to take on "just one more thing," you better know exactly why you're saying no:

• "I need space to exist in my own life"
• "I cannot add anything more without drowning"
• "This isn't my responsibility at my licensure level"

Without internal motivation, you'll cave every time. The overwhelm will win.

2. Relevance (Immediately Applicable)

Forget reading 10 books about boundary theory. You need to practice saying no to the next request that comes your way – even if it's small. That salesperson pushing you to "just sign here"? Perfect boundary practice. You don't need to wait for the "perfect" boundary moment.

3. Experience (Hands-On Practice)

You cannot learn boundaries from lectures about boundaries. You learn by feeling the discomfort of saying no and sitting with it. You learn by disappointing someone and discovering you both survive. You practice in low-stakes situations so you're ready for the high-stakes physician overwhelm moments.

4. Task-Oriented (Not Information Overload)

Stop consuming more boundary content and START practicing. Learn to do, then do more, then learn more. The physician who practices setting one small boundary daily will master this skill faster than the one who attends every wellness CME but never says no.

5. Self-Directed (With Strategic Accountability)

You're used to being accountable to everyone – patients, bosses, colleagues. Now you need to be accountable to yourself. This is where external support (like coaching) becomes crucial for breaking the physician burnout cycle.

The Truth About Physician Overwhelm
You assume you should naturally know how to set boundaries and prevent burnout, but you were systematically trained to do the opposite. Medical training teaches us to say yes, work through exhaustion, and put everyone else's needs first. This training created the overwhelm – it didn't prepare you to manage it.

Your Next Right Step

Here's your immediately applicable task: Identify one opportunity this week to practice saying no. It doesn't have to be earth-shattering. Maybe it's:

• Not explaining your "no" with a lengthy justification
• Letting someone else solve their own problem
• Choosing your exercise time over someone else's request

Remember: Every time you ask "How can I make this easier?" you're building the neural pathwa

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: [email protected]

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us Fan Mail

Welcome back to Ending Physician Overwhelm! As we head into the last week of August 2025 and prepare for back-to-school season, it's time to think about something we do constantly as physicians: learning.

The Evolution of Medical Learning

You've been a professional learner your entire career. Medical school, residency, fellowship, boards, CME requirements - you've mastered the art of absorbing information and passing tests. But here's the question that might change everything: Who are you actually learning from?

If you're like most of us who trained in the early 2000s, your medical education came primarily from older white men reading the same traditional journals and following conventional pathways. While this wasn't inherently wrong, it created a narrow lens that may no longer serve you - or your patients.

Breaking Out of Traditional Learning Boxes

As medicine evolves, so should your sources of knowledge. Whether you're exploring:

• Obesity medicine (where traditional training left massive gaps)
• Menopause care (practically non-existent in most curricula thanks to the WHI study fallout)
• Lifestyle medicine approaches
• New practice models that prioritize patient connection

You need voices that reflect the reality of modern healthcare delivery, not just academic theory.

The Current Medical Learning Landscape

Here's what's happening right now that affects how you learn:

Traditional resources are under threat: With political forces dismantling institutions like ACIP and creating uncertainty around CDC guidance, you're losing historically reliable sources of information.

AI is changing everything: Your residents and students are using AI tools that you may not fully understand, yet you're expected to guide them safely through this new landscape.

Diversity of voices matters: The patients you serve come from all backgrounds - shouldn't your teachers reflect that diversity too?

Finding Your New Learning Path

Ask yourself these critical questions:

• Who is doing the work the way you want to do it?
• Are you open to being challenged and learning new approaches?
• Can you unlearn outdated information that's no longer serving your patients?
• How will you vet new sources of information in an era of compromised traditional resources?

Practical Steps for Better Learning

Seek out practitioners who:

• Are actively treating patients (not just publishing papers)
• Offer practical, real-world applications
• Discuss the full picture including costs, side effects, and patient experience
• Challenge traditional approaches with evidence-based alternatives

Consider learning formats beyond traditional CME:

• Podcasts from practicing physicians
• Courses from specialists doing the work
• Mentorship from independent practitioners
• Books and resources from diverse voices in medicine

The Power of Learning Autonomy

When you take control of your medical education, something powerful happens: you practice medicine on your terms. You integrate evidence that makes sense for your patients. You have conversations that matter. You offer treatments based on comprehensive understanding, not just protocol compliance.

This autonomy extends beyond clinical knowledge to include:

• How you structure your practice
• How you set boundaries
• How you integrate self-care (because those employer wellness lectures aren't going to save you)
• How you show up as the physician you actually want to be

Your Learning Evolution Starts Now
The landscape of medical education is shifting whether we're ready or not. You can either be rea

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: [email protected]

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us Fan Mail

Last week, we talked about the toxic assumptions that make everything worse when crisis hits. This week, we're diving into what to actually DO instead - because bad things will happen in your medical career, but they don't have to destroy you in the process.

The Framework That Changes Everything

When something goes catastrophically wrong - termination, disciplinary action, devastating outcome - you need a different approach than the self-blame spiral you've been trained to default to. Here's the four-step framework that actually works:

Step 1: Allow the Emotions (Yes, Really)

Before you do anything else, you need to let yourself be human. What are you actually feeling? Angry? Sad? Scared? Guilty? Responsible? Devastated?

Can you name it? Can you feel where it sits in your body?

We're so afraid of the discomfort of emotions that we immediately try to push them away, judge ourselves for having them, or pretend they don't exist. But here's the truth: you have feelings because you're human, not because you're weak.

Caveat: Obviously, if there's something urgent that needs your immediate attention (like a code situation), handle that first. But most of the time, you have space to feel your feelings before jumping into action.

Get yourself an emotions wheel if you need to. There are dozens of feeling words beyond "fine" and "stressed." The research shows that when you can name and label emotions (affect labeling), it actually helps you move through them instead of getting stuck in them.

Step 2: Explore What's Here to Learn (Without Self-Hatred)

There might be something for you to learn from what happened. The key word here is "might." And the crucial part is learning without beating yourself up.

Sometimes the lesson is clinical: "I need to ask different questions" or "I should have involved a specialist sooner."

But sometimes the lesson is about the system: "People make irrational decisions" or "Logic doesn't always apply" or "Sometimes there's no good explanation for why things happen."

If you've been terminated without cause and you genuinely can't identify anything you did wrong - no bad outcomes, no complaints, no feedback suggesting problems - then maybe what you're learning is that medicine operates in ways that aren't fair or logical. That sucks. It's devastating. But it's also reality.

Take one or two passes through this reflection. Don't sit and microanalyze every interaction from the past six months. That way lies madness.

Step 3: Choose to Have Your Own Back (Even If You Made a Mistake)

This is the big one. You need to decide that you're going to support yourself through this, even if you made an error in judgment.

You are not perfect. You are not infallible. You will make mistakes because you're human. Sometimes those mistakes have bigger consequences than others. But if you're going to throw yourself under the bus every time something goes wrong, where will your mental health be?

Think about how you'd respond to a friend going through the same situation. Even if they made a mistake, would you tell them they're a terrible person? Probably not. You'd acknowledge they're human, they tried their best with what they knew, and they can learn and grow from this.

You can take responsibility for your reasonable part of what happened AND still have your own back. These aren't mutually exclusive.

Step 4: If There's a Repair to Make, Make It

If you made a mistake that hurt someone, a patient, a colleague, someone at home, and there's a way to repair it, do it. Don't delay. Don't put it off indefinitely.

But here's the key: you need to go through the other steps first. You need to process your emotions and choose to support yourself before you can make a genuine repair.

If you can't actually make the repair (maybe the person won't talk to you, or they

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: [email protected]

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us Fan Mail

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses challenging topics including job loss, disciplinary actions, and references to physician suicide. While this episode is not about physician suicide specifically, these topics are mentioned in the context of understanding how certain thought patterns can contribute to physician mental health struggles. Please prioritize your wellbeing - if this feels too heavy today, consider skipping to next week's episode which focuses on solutions and moving forward.

When Everything Falls Apart: Why Your Default Thinking Might Be Making It Worse

We need to talk about what happens when things go wrong in medicine. Really wrong. Like getting terminated without cause, facing disciplinary action, or dealing with a bad outcome that leaves you questioning everything.

If you're like most physicians, your first instinct is probably to ask: "What did I do wrong?" And that question? It might be the very thing keeping you stuck in a cycle of self-blame that's slowly destroying your mental health.

The Responsibility Trap We All Fall Into

You were trained to be hyper-responsible. Before medical school, you were the reliable one, the one who turned things in on time, the one people trusted. Then medicine amplified this tenfold. Morbidity and mortality rounds, medical-legal responsibility, the weight of life-and-death decisions - all of it reinforced one core message: You are responsible for everything.

This serves us well in many ways. Patients need physicians they can trust. But it becomes toxic when we start believing we're responsible for everything - other people's emotions, their satisfaction, outcomes beyond our control, and yes, even the broken systems we work within.

The 5 Deadly Assumptions That Keep You Spinning

When something goes wrong, we default to these thought patterns that feel logical but are actually destroying us:

1. Logic Always Applies

You assume there's a clear reason for everything. But here's the brutal truth: many physician contracts now allow "no cause" terminations. They literally don't have to give you a reason. They can just say you're done. No explanation, no opportunity to learn or improve. The logic you're searching for might simply not exist.

2. Everything Is Preventable

Medicine teaches us that preparation and knowledge prevent harm. Hand hygiene prevents infections. Sterile technique saves lives. But we take this too far, believing we should have been able to prevent whatever bad thing happened. Bodies didn't read the textbook. Cancer advances despite perfect care. Deaths happen even when we do everything right.

3. Everyone Else Has It Together

You assume other adults - especially those in authority - are logical, rational beings who have their emotional lives sorted out. Meanwhile, you feel like a hot mess. Plot twist: they're human too. They make decisions based on emotions, incomplete information, and sometimes pure irrationality. You just don't get to see their internal chaos.

4. You're Responsible for Bad Outcomes (But Never Good Ones)

When something goes wrong, it's your fault. When something goes right, you got lucky. This thinking pattern is so ingrained that you probably didn't even notice it until I pointed it out. You carry the weight of every negative outcome while dismissing your role in positive ones.

5. Authority Figures Are Always Right 

The hierarchy in medicine teaches us to trust that whoever is most senior, most published, or in charge knows best. But many decisions affecting your career aren't medical decisions - they're business decisions, profit margins, optics management. There isn't always a "right" answer, despite what your training taught you.

The Real Cost of These Assumptions

These thought patterns don't just make you feel bad - they're litera

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: [email protected]

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us Fan Mail

The strategic art of dialing friction up and down to protect your sanity

Friction Management?

Friction management is the work of boundaries, and it might just be your secret weapon against overwhelm. In this episode, we dive deep into how technology has reduced friction in ways that are actually making your life harder, and what you can do about it.

The Problem: When "Convenience" Creates Chaos

Epic Chat, Teams, and other instant messaging systems were designed to make communication easier. But here's what actually happened: they removed the friction involved with interrupting you, creating a constant stream of non-urgent interruptions while you're trying to provide patient care.

Picture this: You're in the exam room with a patient, fully focused on their care, when ping "Mrs. Jones checked in 17 minutes late for her 20-minute appointment. I know the cutoff is 15 minutes, but should we see her anyway?"

Now you're the bad guy. The front desk person avoided their discomfort with enforcing policy, Mrs. Jones gets to bypass the boundary, and you're left making split-second decisions while trying to care for the patient in front of you.

This is friction management gone wrong.

Where You Need to DIAL UP the Friction

1. Non-Urgent Staff Communications

Stop answering every ping immediately. Create friction by:

• Simply not responding to non-medical, non-urgent messages
• Using auto-responses: "I am currently seeing a patient and cannot answer non-urgent questions. If this is a medical emergency, contact [appropriate person]."
• Making staff think twice before interrupting you

2. Patient Portal Messages

When patients send you multi-paragraph messages with complex medical questions, increase friction by responding with: "Thank you for your questions. These are important and I'd love to discuss them with you. Please schedule an appointment."

You are not resourced to spend 5-10 minutes crafting thoughtful responses to detailed medical questions outside of visits. This isn't about not caring—it's about sustainable practice.

3. Difficult Patients Who Constantly Disagree

You're allowed to set boundaries with patients who:

• Never agree with your medical advice
• Can't communicate effectively with you
• Continue returning despite constant disagreement

Let them know they're welcome to seek other opinions or see different providers. You don't have to be everyone's doctor.

4. Non-Medical Tasks That Don't Light You Up

When asked to join committees, plan parties, or take on leadership roles you don't want: "I'd be happy to participate, but I'll need dedicated admin time blocked from my schedule to do this properly."

Make it more expensive (in time/resources) for them to voluntell you.

Where You Need to DIAL DOWN the Friction

1. Getting Your Notes Done

• Use AI scribes or human scribes
• Create dot phrases and templates for common documentation
• Write less, use bullet points
• Customize your systems to work for you

Make documentation as frictionless as possible because drowning in notes is killing you.

2. Saying No Electronically

Create pre-written responses for common situations:

• "That's a great question that deserves proper attention. Please schedule an appointment."
• "I'm not available to answer this question right now. If this is urgent, please [specific instruction]."
• "I understand this is important. Here's the appropriate next step: [specific action]."

You can even use AI to help you craft polite but firm auto-responses.

3. Anything That Helps You Live More Healthfully

Reduce friction around:

• House cleaning services
<

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: [email protected]

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us Fan Mail

How to return to self-care and self-kindness when you're struggling

What’s in This Episode

You're not failing at self-care; you're navigating something unprecedented. As we hit the end of July (yes, summer is flying by!), it's the perfect time to remember how to come back to taking care of yourself when you feel like you've been struggling.

Drawing from Dr. Julie Smith's book "Open When," this episode draws parallels between modern parenting and practicing medicine in 2025. Here's what you need to remember when you're feeling overwhelmed:

The Truth About What You're Facing

You are the first generation of physicians working with full knowledge of medicine's harm to your health. Just like parents today are the first to actively parent with awareness of emotional well-being, you're practicing medicine while explicitly knowing about:

• Physician burnout (which exploded as a topic in the last 10-15 years)
• The impossible math: The average primary care physician needs 26.7 hours per day to meet all patient needs
• The reality that your health suffers while you help others heal
• The systemic toxicity that comes with healthcare work

This knowledge didn't exist in previous generations of physicians. You're not supposed to have all the answers because there is no single right answer.

Why You Feel Disconnected (Even When Surrounded by People)

You're living in the most connected yet disconnected time in history. Being around people all day—patients, staff, colleagues—isn't the same as being emotionally connected to them. Your relational needs aren't being met just because you're never alone.

Start reconnecting with people you love first. Reach out to friends, family, your partner, your children—even your pets. Practice being present with them before trying to feel more connected at work.

The Boundary Reality Check

Boundaries are an inside job. They can't come from the outside, and they will bump up against external expectations. People expect you to be an autonomous robot without needs—but that has never served you well.

You cannot resolve everyone else's unrealistic expectations before you start taking care of yourself. That's a complete setup. You must set boundaries to continue doing the work you're called to do, because you cannot sustain this without rest and self-care.

The Ripple Effect of Self-Care

When you take care of yourself, you bring your best self to your patients and work environment. If you believe your mistakes cause lasting damage, you must also acknowledge that everything you do to prevent those mistakes brings lasting positives to your medical career.

Remember This When You're Struggling

• You're navigating challenges that didn't exist for previous generations of physicians
• You don't have perfect models for how to balance medicine with wellness
• Being around people isn't the same as being connected to them
• Boundaries will face external resistance—that doesn't make them wrong
• Taking care of yourself isn't selfish—it's essential for the work you do

Your Action Step

Stop beating yourself up for not knowing how to navigate these unprecedented challenges. Approach your struggles with humility, grace, and self-kindness. You're not failing—you're human, doing incredibly difficult work in a system that wasn't designed to support your wellbeing.

If you need to sit with this message a little longer, go back and listen to this episode again. Remember: none of us knows the internal landscape of others. Be kind to yourself as you navigate the very real challenges of medicine while trying to get your emotional, physical, spiritual, and relationship needs met.

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: [email protected]

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us Fan Mail

Recording live from the Washington coast - because sometimes the best content comes from breaking your own rules.

The Big Question That Changes Everything

Last week we talked about what's NOT possible - all those unrealistic expectations we carry. This week? We're flipping the script. What IS actually possible when you stop following rules that don't serve you?

Breaking the Rules (Starting with Mine)

I'm literally recording this on a beach with my kids digging in the sand behind me. Three years ago, I would have written a formal script and recorded in perfect conditions. Today? I'm embracing the messy, real, human version of showing up.

Because here's what I've learned: The rules we create for ourselves are often the biggest barriers to what's actually possible.

The Three Questions That Open Possibility

1. What rules have you created that aren't really necessary?
We've all internalized that "angry old white man" voice from medical training - the one that taught us to police ourselves into perfectionism. But some of those rules? They're not serving you.

Real talk: I used to dutifully fill out the "double book schedule" every day at my old job, choosing when I wanted to be overworked. Until I realized - I don't have to participate in planned incompetence. So I stopped writing anything down. Zero people commented. Zero consequences.

Your turn: What workplace "requirements" are actually just expectations you can quietly opt out of?

2. When you zoom out from your immediate circumstances, what's actually important about this moment in your life?

I could have canceled this family trip because we're navigating a health crisis with one of my kids. My crisis-mode brain said "no fun allowed." But when I zoomed out, I remembered: I want my kids to have good memories of this summer, even during challenging times.

The pandemic affected our kids when they were young. Now they're 10 and 13, fully conscious and creating lasting memories. That perspective shifted everything.

3. How will you use this information to take action?
Medicine will always operate like everything is a crisis. Healthcare will always want you sprinting. But your career is a marathon, not a sprint. You get to choose your pace.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

• Sometimes it's quietly not participating in systems that don't serve you
• Sometimes it's scheduling the "good enough" vacation instead of waiting for perfect
• Sometimes it's turning off the computer to be present with your family
• Sometimes it's choosing the hotel with the pool and free breakfast because that's what your kids love (even if you don't)

The Integration

What will you let go of to create space for what's important to you?

This isn't about adding more to your plate. It's about questioning the rules, gaining perspective on what matters, and making space for what you actually want.

If you're loving this podcast, please leave those gold stars and write a review - it helps other overwhelmed physicians find us in the algorithm!

Ready to dive deeper? If you're tired of operating on everyone else's timeline and want to design a life that actually works for YOU, let's talk about what's possible in your world.

Let's Connect
Need more support? Schedule a coaching consultation at https://calendly.com/healthierforgood/coaching-discovery-call

Connect with us:

• Website: healthierforgood.com
• Email: [email protected]
• Instagram: @meganmelomd

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and s

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: [email protected]

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us Fan Mail

When "Impossible" Becomes Your Superpower

You know that feeling when you're drowning in demands that feel completely unrealistic? When you're staring at a schedule that would require 26.7 hours in a 24-hour day? When you're being held responsible for things that are literally impossible for one person to handle?

We've all been there. And today, we're talking about a simple but powerful shift that can transform how you handle these overwhelming moments.

The Tone That Changes Everything

Picture this: You're facing an impossible situation - maybe it's covering a maternity leave with a year-long waitlist, or managing a patient panel that research shows requires more hours than exist in a day. Your first reaction might be: "It's IMPOSSIBLE!" - that frustrated, overwhelmed, reactive tone that makes your shoulders tense and your stress skyrocket.

But here's what we're going to do instead. We're going to shift that tone from reaction to response:

"It's not possible."

Feel the difference? Your shoulders settle. Your cortisol drops. You've moved from being a victim of circumstances to being someone who can clearly assess reality and make decisions from a place of calm.

The Four-Step Framework: Do, Delegate, Defer, Dump

Once you've settled into "it's not possible," you can move into problem-solving mode. Here's your framework:

DO

Keep this list small. What absolutely must be done by you, and only you? For our maternity leave example, this might be a quick scan of the schedule to identify patients who absolutely need to be seen during that time period.

DELEGATE

What can someone else handle? Yes, we know delegation isn't always easy in our systems, but remember - if you don't delegate it, and it truly can't be done by you, someone else will have to figure it out anyway. Make it their problem to solve, not yours to stress about.

DEFER (Creative Procrastination)

Some things are important but not urgent. Keep a list of these items so they don't take up mental energy, but give yourself permission to put them aside for now. You might come back to them later, or you might realize they weren't that important after all.

DUMP

Yes, you have permission to let some things go completely. That project you people-pleased your way into? That committee work that has no clear timeline or support? Sometimes you need to go back to someone and say, "I agreed to this, but I'm not able to do it anymore."

The Research That Validates Your Reality

Here's something crucial: A 2022 study in Medical Economics found that to properly care for a typical primary care panel, you'd need 26.7 hours per day. With a high-functioning team supporting you? That drops to about 9 hours per day.

Most of us don't have that high-functioning team. Most of us are working in systems that expect us to squeeze more out of skeleton crews while taking on more responsibilities ourselves.

It's not possible. And that's not your fault.

How Do You Want to Feel?

This is the piece most productivity advice misses. Once you've acknowledged what's not possible and decided what you'll do about it, you get to choose how you want to feel about it.

You can choose to feel calm and settled, knowing you're doing what you can do. You can choose to keep your shoulders down when someone frantically approaches you about "your patient" needing something you can't provide. You can choose to respond clearly: "I understand Mrs. Jones wants to be seen. I have a full schedule today. If she needs to be seen and I can't see her, we can ask if anyone else can see her."

Your Reality Check

Whether you're in a small community&

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: [email protected]

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us Fan Mail

The Epic List You've Been Waiting For: What Women Physicians Are DONE Caring About

Welcome back to the revolution, my friends. This is Part 2 of our "We Do Not Care Club" series, and today we're sharing the crowdsourced, unfiltered, absolutely brilliant list of things that women physicians are officially done caring about.

But first, let's give proper credit where it's due:

This entire movement exists because of Melani Sanders (@justbeingmelani) - an African-American content creator who courageously started sharing her perimenopause experience from a Whole Foods parking lot. She felt like a hot mess and decided she wasn't going to care about it anymore. That single moment of authenticity has created a viral movement with over a million followers and has been featured in the New York Times and on Katie Couric's platform.

Melani gave women permission to speak up about experiences we've been silent about for far too long. This is her movement, and we're honored to be part of it.

Why This Matters for Women Physicians

We are a special group. We care for others professionally, but we're also women navigating our own health transitions in a system that expects us to be superhuman. We've been socialized to:

• Care that our appearance is 100% professional
• Never show emotions (while somehow conveying empathy)
• Be team players who give 110% but never be "too loud"
• Micromanage our appearance more than our male colleagues
• Put everyone else first, always

The result? We're exhausted from caring about the wrong things.

The Epic List: What We Do NOT Care About Anymore

Note: This list came directly from women physicians who responded to my call. It's unorganized on purpose - because perimenopause isn't organized, and we're giving ourselves permission to say "this is good enough."

The Medical System BS We're Done With:

• Online wellness modules (seriously, stop)
• C-suite leadership telling us to be more "resilient" (we hate that word)
• Insurance formularies and their secrecy
• Efficiency training and metrics (we're just trying to get through the day)
• Corporate medicine profitability
• Academic titles earned by sacrificing mental health
• Executives losing money because we did the right thing for patients

Patient Nonsense We're Over:

• "What you saw on TikTok" (vinegar isn't going to help here)
• How happy people look in drug commercials (you don't have rheumatoid arthritis)
• The internet telling you that you have ADHD (it's probably perimenopause)
• How "explosive" your diarrhea was (that doesn't help me help you)
• College roommate's third cousin's reaction to sertraline (it's still a good choice)
• Kardashians getting full-body MRIs

Life Stuff We're Liberated From:

• Wearing bras (special shoutout to the contributor who said "I only have one nipple after cancer, so eff it")
• Makeup ("No need because I am awesome")
• Matching our comfy shoes to our outfits
• How dirty our cars are ("That sounds like a you problem")
• Pajamas to the store (they're comfy, that's it)
• Leggings as pants ("They ARE pants and I will die on that hill")
• How our houses look ("My style is 'lives with kids'")

The Thermostat Wars:

• That you are cold (WE'RE HOT. WE get control of the thermostat)
• Stop breathing so loud (this came up multiple times!)

And Finally, The Ultimate Liberation:

• Farting (One contributor tries not to in exam rooms but at home: "Let it rip. Sorry, husband.")

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: [email protected]

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD

Send us Fan Mail

What if you could stop wasting your precious brain energy on things that don't deserve it?

Welcome to a very special edition of Ending Physician Overwhelm, where we're diving deep into the revolutionary concept of the "We Do Not Care Club" – specifically designed for perimenopausal women physicians who are DONE with burning themselves out for a system that doesn't value them.

Shoutout to Melani Sanders (@justbeingmelani) for creating this life-changing movement that's resonating with millions of women!

The Truth Bomb You Need to Hear

We care. We care A LOT. But here's what's killing us: we've been pressured and scared into caring about things that are literally destroying our well-being, our families, and our ability to practice medicine the way we know it should be practiced.

It's time to stop. It's time to reclaim your power. It's time to join the club.

The 3 Permission Slips You Need Right Now

🔹 Permission Slip #1: You Are NOT Expendable or Replaceable

We do not care about the lie that you're just another cog in the medical machine.

The truth? You are irreplaceable. Your expertise, your experience, your special sauce of care – that cannot be replicated. Yes, they might hire someone else, but they will never replace YOU.

Stop living in fear. Stop working yourself to the bone hoping to "earn" respect that should already be yours. The finish line where you'll finally be valued? It doesn't exist, and that's not your fault.

What would happen if every woman physician walked out tomorrow? The system would collapse. Because we provide safer care, safer surgeries, better patient outcomes. We are the backbone of medicine.

🔹 Permission Slip #2: Your Human Needs Actually Matter

We do not care that the system expects you to work like a robot.

You need food. You need bathroom breaks. You need REAL time off (not vacation days spent getting colonoscopies). You need adequate maternity leave. You need to be able to call in sick without guilt.

The pushback you'll get when you start taking care of yourself? That's their problem, not yours. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and eventually, if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to show up for anyone.

🔹 Permission Slip #3: Your Critical Thinking Skills Are Your Superpower

We do not care if using your brain makes leadership uncomfortable.

You were trained to think critically, to question, to evaluate. But somehow, when you use these skills to challenge policies or advocate for better patient care, suddenly you're "not a team player."

This is medicine's biggest contradiction: they pay you to think, then punish you for thinking.

Your Mission for Part 2

I want to hear from YOU. What are the things you do not care about anymore? Send me:

• Instagram message: @MeganMeloMD
• Email: [email protected]

Let's build our collective list for Part 2 (dropping July 8th)!

One Thing I'll Share Right Now

I do NOT care if your "normal" temperature is 95.7° and today you're 97.6° so you think you have a fever. I just don't. And that's okay.

The Bottom Line

If not now, when? When will you stop sacrificing yourself for a system that sees you as expendable? When will you start believing that your needs matter? When will you use your voice and your critical thinking skills without apology?

The We Do Not Care Club isn't about becoming callous – it's about becoming strategic with your energy. It's about recognizing your worth. It's about taking back your power.

You're not just a physician. You're a badass human who deserves better.

Ready to reclaim your power and end physician overwhelm for good? The transformation starts with one conversation.

Let's Connect
Need&

Support the show

To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

Want to contact me directly?
Email: [email protected]

Follow me on Instagram!
@MeganMeloMD