Fleas in a jar learn to jump only as high as the lid - even after it's removed. Sound familiar? This is learned helplessness in action, and it's quietly sabotaging your career and wellbeing.

The Pattern: Try to improve things → Get shut down → Stop trying → Accept dysfunction as "normal"

Real Examples:

When YOU stop pushing boundaries, the system gets comfortable with YOUR discomfort. They'll gladly let you overfunction until you burn out, then replace you with the next overfunctioner.

But here's the kicker: Your silence isn't protecting you - it's enabling a broken system.

Most limits are learned, not real. That lid was removed long ago - you just haven't tested how high you can actually jump.

Your voice matters. Your boundaries matter. Your wellbeing matters.

The system needs healthy, empowered physicians who refuse to accept dysfunction as normal.

Ready to break free? Start with one micro experiment this week.

Join fellow physicians breaking barriers at the Happier Hour - ACEP Scientific Assembly 2025, Salt Lake City

Email your breakthrough stories to [email protected]

Transform your limits into launching pads - you're capable of more than you know.

Ever feel personally attacked by every setback at work? This episode will revolutionize how you handle those moments when life seems to be targeting you specifically!

Picture yourself floating peacefully down a river when WHAM - another boat crashes into you! Your blood boils, ready to unleash fury... until you realize the boat is completely empty. No malicious intent, no personal vendetta - just a random collision.

This changes everything.

✨ Most conflicts aren't personal - You're often just stepping into someone else's storm
✨ Neutral events become personal attacks only when we create that story
✨ Pain × Resistance = Suffering - The resistance hurts more than the original event
✨ Your inner critic is also an empty boat - Those harsh thoughts don't define reality

🔥 Grumpy Patients? They were frustrated before you walked in the room - you just happened to be there

📞 Difficult Consultants? Maybe they've had 10 calls in the last hour or personal stress you can't see

💻 EMR Crashes? The system isn't plotting against YOU specifically - it's just being a system

👨‍⚕️ Missing Lab Values? Grace over self-attack - what can you learn for next time?

⏰ Delayed Imaging? Workflow backlogs happen to everyone - call for updates instead of stewing

Build resilience so powerful that things that used to send you into fight-or-flight mode become... just neutral events you can handle with grace.

💪 Bottom Line: You can't control others, but you can master your responses. That's where your real power lives!

Want to connect with fellow physicians building resilience? Join us at the Happier Hour during ACEP Scientific Assembly 2025 in Salt Lake City!

Follow @thewholephysician for daily inspiration and email us at [email protected]

⭐ Leave us 5 stars if this helped you find your calm in the storm!

What if your worth had nothing to do with your productivity, your pager, or your sacrifice?

In the final episode of our Codependence series, we’re diving deep into one of the most freeing truths you can learn as a physician (or frankly, as a human): you are more than your usefulness.

Many of us in medicine — especially women and those raised in high-demand families — have been praised for being martyrs. We’ve built entire identities around being the helper, the achiever, the rock. But at what cost? In this conversation, we explore:

✨ The Hidden Trap of the “Martyr” Identity – Why over-functioning feels rewarding… until it doesn’t.
✨ How Codependence Distorts Your Sense of Self – And how to reclaim the YOU beneath the role.
✨ Differentiation: The Key to Freedom – Staying emotionally connected without losing yourself.
✨ Practical Steps to Rebuild Your Identity – From inner child work and journaling to creative expression and supportive relationships.
✨ The Worthiness Reframe You Need to Hear – You are not here to be everything to everyone. You are here to be fully yourself.

This episode is packed with truth bombs, gentle challenges, and actionable tools to help you shift from people-pleasing and self-sacrifice into authenticity, agency, and healing — for yourself and the people you serve.

💡 Whether you’re realizing for the first time that your identity has been tangled up in your role, or you’ve been working on this for years, you’ll leave this episode with hope, clarity, and permission to step into a life that feels like yours again.

📅 Bonus Announcement – If you’re coming to the ASEP Scientific Assembly 2025 in Salt Lake City, join us for our Happy ER Hour — a physician meetup for community, connection, and maybe a few laughs.

Because you’re not falling apart. You’re falling into alignment. And we love that for you. 💛

Hey friend 👋
Ever find yourself saying yes when your soul is screaming NO?
Still picking up that extra shift, joining one more committee, or trying to make everyone happy… while secretly feeling overwhelmed and low-key resentful?

This episode is your loving wake-up call. 💥

Join Drs. Amanda, Laura, and Kendra as they dive deep into one of the core healing practices for codependence in medicine:
💥 Boundaries that are clear, kind, and consistent.

You’ll learn:
✅ The 3 types of boundaries you need to know
✅ Real-world scripts to help you say “no” with kindness and confidence
✅ Why clear is kind (and overexplaining is not)
✅ How healthy boundaries actually build stronger relationships
✅ Why your discomfort is a powerful compass—not a stop sign 🚦

💡 Whether you’re burnt out, people-pleasing, or just ready to reclaim your time, this episode will help you reset, recharge, and re-align with your true self.

Because boundaries aren’t selfish…
They’re sacred.

🔔 Homework Challenge
This week, try one of these:

Say “no” with kindness 💬

Pause before you commit ⏸️

Let discomfort guide you instead of scare you 😅

You are allowed to have needs.
You are allowed to protect your peace.
You are allowed to say, “I love you… and no.”

🔥 Favorite Quote:

"You are not responsible for others. You are responsible to them—with respect and honesty." – Pia Mellody

💌 Got thoughts or questions? Email us at [email protected]
📱Follow us on Instagram @thewholephysician for daily wisdom & boundary-boosting inspiration
🌟 Don’t forget to leave us a 5-star review — it helps more healers heal.

Until next time...
✨ You are whole.
✨ You are a gift to medicine.
✨ And the work you do matters.

“You are not broken. You might just be codependent.”

In this eye-opening and compassion-filled episode, we continue our Codependence in Medicine series by zooming in on what codependence really is, where it comes from, and — most importantly — how we can heal.

✨ Spoiler alert: If you’ve ever felt like your worth is tied to how much you give, produce, or fix for others… this episode is for you.

We’re grounding this conversation in the brilliant work of Pia Mellody, who defined codependence as the result of childhood relational trauma that affects our self-esteem, boundaries, reality, needs, and self-expression. You’ll hear how these patterns show up not just in our homes — but in medical training, work culture, and the unrealistic expectations placed on doctors.

👶 Childhood patterns that still echo:

“Go hug Grandma. Don’t be rude.”

“Stop crying. You’re fine.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You don’t really need rest. You’re strong.”

All of these seemingly small moments teach us the same lie:
Your needs don’t matter.

But here’s the truth we’re claiming:
🌿 You are allowed to have boundaries.
🌿 You don’t need to earn rest.
🌿 Self-sacrifice is not love.
🌿 Healing is possible.

💥 This episode covers:

Why codependence isn't just about “being too nice”

How childhood experiences shape adult behaviors — especially in high-achieving professionals

The 5 types of boundaries and how they’re often violated

The link between burnout and developmental trauma

Why it’s never too late to relearn your worth and reclaim your space

If you’ve ever felt invisible, exhausted, or guilty for saying “no,” let this episode be a gentle mirror — and a loving reminder that you’re not alone. The system isn’t broken because of you — it’s been breaking on top of you. But we can name it, untangle it, and choose something better.

“Children who aren’t allowed to have boundaries grow into adults who don’t know how to protect themselves.” — Pia Mellody

🎧 Listen in, share with a friend, and let’s start rewriting the rules of what it means to help — without losing ourselves.

📬 Email us at: [email protected]
📱 Follow us on socials for daily inspiration
⭐️ Leave a review — and help more docs find their way home to themselves

 Do you really know the difference between being a team player… and being codependent?

In this eye-opening and deeply validating episode, the docs take a tender and honest look at codependence in medicine — what it is, where it comes from, how it hides behind “professionalism”… and why so many physicians unknowingly carry these patterns from childhood into their careers.

We explore:

✨ The 5 core symptoms of codependence (originally defined by Pia Mellody)
✨ Why medicine often rewards codependent behavior
✨ How emotional neglect or inconsistency in childhood can shape who we become as physicians
✨ Why boundaries are not selfish (and how to actually hold them)
✨ The real reason we say yes to shifts we don’t want, take on burdens that aren’t ours, and don’t let ourselves pee, eat, or rest
✨ What it means to return to your career on your terms

Plus: what we each wish we’d known earlier, and the freeing realization that you don’t have to be Superwoman to be worthy. You already are.

🔁 Whether you’re a “recovering people-pleaser,” just starting to untangle from burnout, or curious about how codependence shows up in your life — this episode is for you.

💌 Reflection prompt: Where in your life are you over-functioning, denying your needs, or confusing self-sacrifice with self-worth?

🔊 Tune in to learn:

Why your emotional suppression was adaptive — and how to gently grow past it

How to recognize when you’re doing other people’s emotional work

What boundaries really are (and how they can bring you back to life)

The simple mindset shift that helps you reclaim your energy, agency, and worth

💬 Email us at [email protected] — we’d love to hear your experience with these patterns.
📲 Follow us on socials @thewholephysician for memes, tools, and behind-the-scenes inspiration.

🌟 And exciting news! We’re back for the third annual Happier Hours at ASEP Scientific Assembly 2025 in Salt Lake City!! Stay tuned for the official launch of our event page. 🎉

Until next time —
You are whole. You are a gift to medicine. The work you do matters.

Ready to transform your post-shift sleep game? Kendra drops knowledge bombs about why working nights feels crazy (spoiler: you're not crazy, it's just science!).

🌡️ Temperature: Keep it cool (around 67°F)
🌑 Darkness: Blackout everything - even that Roomba light!
🔇 Sound: White noise, brown noise - find your jam!

Pick ONE thing to start with:

Set boundaries with your household - communicate your sleep schedule and permission granted to prioritize your rest!

Never waking up feeling rested? Always exhausted? See a sleep specialist! Resources: CBTI apps, pharmacological support when needed.

Email us: [email protected]

Remember: You are whole. You are a gift to medicine. The work you do matters! 💙

Meet Dr. Dina Schweitzer - veteran, board-certified urogynecologist, and burnout survivor who transformed her life through coaching. After 20+ years in a toxic medical system, she was ready to quit medicine entirely. Then everything changed.

🍑 The Purple Peach Moment: "You're a peach in a world of apples" - discovering she wasn't broken, just seeking validation from the wrong people

🏁 Off the Mental Racetrack: Learning to recognize and step away from the endless loop of negative thoughts

💪 Beautiful Imperfection: "You're trying to be perfect, but you're gonna kill yourself trying" - embracing her humanity

Dr. Schweitzer's transformation proves that no matter how dark burnout gets, there's always a path back to joy. Her story shows us:

"You have to go, 'Hey, I do like me, even if I have some screw ups.'"

You ARE whole. You ARE a gift to medicine. The work you do MATTERS.

Five-star reviews help others find us! Connect: [email protected]

“The brain is a dangerous place… never go there alone.” 👀💭

Ever caught yourself spiraling into a story that wasn’t entirely based on facts? Yeah... us too. In this episode, Amanda, Laura, and Kendra continue their powerful Byron Katie series, diving into the stories our brains tell and the real cost of believing everything we think. Spoiler: your thoughts aren’t always truth—and they’re definitely not always helpful.

✨ Here's what we cover:

Why your brain creates stories—and how it tries to protect you with them

The sneaky ways texts, tones, and side-eyes can launch a narrative

How to pause the panic and look for actual evidence

What to do when anxiety pops up without a clear reason

The small but powerful shift from “judgment” to “curiosity”

How to find a more helpful story (even if you can’t leap to sunshine and rainbows just yet)

Why being a slower doctor might actually mean you're doing it right 💡

🧠 Whether you’re dealing with imposter syndrome, feeling stuck in old beliefs, or just tired of beating yourself up—this episode will give you the tools to get curious, challenge your thoughts, and reclaim your peace.

💬 Favorite quote:

“Any stressful feeling is like a compassionate alarm clock that says you're caught in the dream.”

🎧 Listen in and learn how to:

Recognize your “stories” in real time

Start fact-checking your thoughts like a scientist

Swap “I’m not good enough” for “What else might be true?”

Move from stuck to empowered, one thought at a time

👩‍⚕️ You are not broken. You are not behind. You’re just human—and your beautiful brain is trying to help. Let’s teach it a better way.

 ⭐️ Don’t forget to rate and review the show—your words help more doctors find this life-changing work.

Resources:

Byron Katie’s Loving What Is

Free Session with a Physician Coach

 ✨ What You'll Discover This Week

Ready to stop exhausting yourself by arguing with reality? Amanda, Laura, and Kendra are back with episode 172, diving deep into Byron Katie's powerful concept of "Noticing When Your Thoughts Argue with Reality."

Spoiler alert: You can't teach a cat to bark! 🐱

"You can spend the rest of your life trying to teach a cat to bark. Yet if you pay attention, you'll notice that you believe thoughts like this, dozens of times a day."

Sound familiar? We're constantly thinking:

Plot twist: All that "shoulding" is just making you miserable!

Byron Katie became known as "the woman who made friends with the wind" because she stopped fighting what she couldn't control. Her game-changing realization?

"When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time!"

Instead of asking "Why did this happen?" try asking: "What intelligent solutions can I find right now?"

This simple shift moves you from victim to victor, from stuck to unstuck!

What you CONTROL: Your choices, your responses, your boundaries What you INFLUENCE: Others (but you have to let go of the outcome!) What you CAN'T control: Pretty much everything else!

The hosts share real talk about setting boundaries with toxic supervisors and difficult colleagues—because accepting reality doesn't mean accepting poor treatment!

When you stop arguing with what happened, something magical occurs:

As one host beautifully puts it: "When you get stuck arguing with reality, you lose your vision of hope."

Notice when you catch yourself "shoulding" all over reality. Then ask:

Got your own "making friends with the wind" story? The hosts would love to hear it!

Email: [email protected]
Follow for weekly awesome content on socials!

⭐ Love this episode? Leave a 5-star review and help other physicians find their path to freedom from burnout!

FREE WEBINAR ALERT! 🚨 "The Five Steps to Freedom from Burnout" 📅 June 26th at 7:00 PM Central 🎆 In honor of July 4th (with some amazing memes!)

[Free Webinar June 26, 2025] 5 Steps to Freedom from Burnout: How to Survive the Dumpster Fire of Medicine

"You are whole. You are a gift to medicine. The work you do matters."

Now stop arguing with the wind and go make something beautiful happen! 🌟

Episode 172 | The Drive Time Debrief | Your weekly dose of sanity, inspiration, and real talk for physicians who are ready to thrive

Byron Katie’s Loving What Is

Free Session with a Physician Coach