The Pitch

Kris and Kole talk about doppelgangers, diplomacy, and mystery clocks.

ALSO: Kole in the future. A new Ikea. You lose time. Sing the praises of the king. A new island. A Mermaid Puzzle for Kim. Make my ear more handsome. A lost clock. Wasp nest pleasure nest.

It's as uncomfortable to type as it is to say.

James Cameron brought out sweet baby boys back to us, but they've changed.

Gary Butterfield, Kole Ross, and Stewart McGowan remember and say goodbye to Bloodborne.

This is the first entry in our "Victory Lap" season, a period of two months when we look back at the Souls series and talk about what worked, what didn't, and why these games were special enough to cover for all of these years.

Super Pitfall is one of those classic kusoge games, covered by your video game nerds both angry and normal flavor. But it's also a super slight platformer that doesn't really have too much to talk about, so let's get right to the heart of the matter by discussing those frogs with the DSLs.

Time Slaughter is what happens when an outsider developer attempts to be as unpleasant and nasty as possible. The minds who brought us NESticle also made this parody of Mortal Kombat, complete with over the top violence, garish characters, and shitty, shitty voice acting. But mostly we talk about how we don't want to be cursed to shit bones.

It's a technically interesting footnote in survival horror, following Alone in the Dark's act with its own strange rendering technique. And it seems like it's made for us, because everything is an orb. You would  guess that Kole will be into it, while Gary will be turned off by the visuals. And you'd be right. But tune in anyway and hear the specifics about this weird, weird, weird thing.

Our patrons have backed us into a corner. While E.Y.E. is undoubtedly a weird, inscrutable mess, it's also pretty inspired, systemically interesting, and worth a deeper dive than we could ever give it in a half hour of talk. So what you get here is a hodgepodge of an episode where we praise the opening of Divine Cybermancy, then go on some kind of strange political tangent because you should expect nothing different from us at this point.

Sometimes you're just not ready for this level of concentrated lameness. Claymation is inherently cool, so you have to try pretty hard to make it suck this bad. Shitty non-puns, lazy attempts at satire, and barely audacious attempts at outrage abound... and that's just us! The game is pretty bad, too.

What is there to say about yet another wrestling game? Almost nothing! That's why we cruise through the game itself and respond to lots of miscellaneous prompts from Twitter. It's a real change of pace, but really, what all is there to say about Sting?