The Problem With Perfect

I don't like feeling weak. Physically, emotionally, or spiritually. And it doesn't help that we live in a culture that says we have to "do it all" and "be it all" to feel worthy. 

And yet, life throws us situations that remind us of our weaknesses. It leaves us feeling vulnerable and like we aren't enough. For me, it is my son's recent cancer diagnosis. For you, it may be a job loss, a new unwelcomed normal, or whatever is your personal "cancer" in your life. 

So, what does scripture say we should do about our weakness? Listen to find encouragement for when you're afraid to admit the weak parts of yourself. 

(1:58) Acknowledging Your Weakness 
(4:03) What You Can Do to Help Weakness 
(5:39) How to Accept Help in Weakness 
(7:32) What Scripture Says About Accepting Help 

We've all likely found ourselves in that awkward situation where someone we love is hurting.  Maybe they are grieving the loss of a relationship, the death of a family member, the fear of losing a job or even the sadness of having a sick child. In our search to find the perfect helpful words, it can be easy to say the wrong thing. or worse, not say anything at all. 

In this episode, Dr. Denise Bickel joins us again to give us practical wisdom about what to say - and not to say - when someone we love is hurting. Her decades of experience will help us all be wiser, and consequently, kinder the next time we find ourselves in this position.

Guest:
Dr. Denise Bickel, PhD, MSW, LCSW, has decades of experience as a palliative care social worker and is an adjunct professor at the University of Denver. Denise is also an avid Crossfit participant and former triathlete and marathoner. She is also Robin's mentor. 

(4:00) These are the things that are ALWAYS appropriate to say.

(7:00) Offering someone in need your help is a beautiful gesture, but Denise explains how it can actually be more stressful than helpful. Here are better ways to frame your desire to support your friends and family. 

(10:30) Want to walk along someone during a hardship? Here is the best advice for doing so in the most meaningful way.

(12:45) Here is the one tip that Rachel and Denise have both found is helpful in encouraging people to open up during a conversation. 

(17:30) The one thing you should never say to someone struggling through a difficult situation. 

(24:00) Ever given well-intentioned advice to someone in the midst of their struggle? Here's why it might cause more harm than good. 

(26:00) Want to truly be helpful? Here's why your job is to embrace the awkwardness.

(28:00) What do you do when someone says something (or nothing) and your feelings get hurt?  

Suggested Resources:
Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy
By Sheryl Sandberg

Want to connect with Robin and Rachel?
Find them on Instagram here:
https://instagram.com/theproblemwithperfect?igshid=9jvum57yip6l

Connect with Rachel and her life at the loft:
https://instagram.com/rachel__leigh__?igshid=1erbjftzgyje9
https://bat-recorder-sznx.squarespace.com/config/

Follow Robin and get updates on Matt's treatment on Robin May Ministries Facebook page or at www.robinmayministries.com

Email us @[email protected] with your questions or comments about this or any episode.

Hey friends! If you're like me, then you probably have had a few sleepless nights trying to make big decisions in your life. If you're wondering what's the best decision-making process, how to make the right decision in your life, or how to make God-honoring decisions, this podcast is for you.

I'm going to tell you the decision-making models that have worked for me over the years and how my thinking has been challenged in the decision making process.

Key Takeaways
(2:52) Ask Yourself this one question when making decisions
(3:000 The decision-making process you've probably never heard of (but need to know!)
(5:09) The conversation that changed my life
(6:49) Can you base your decisions on open or closed doors?

References:
Andy Stanley's Sermon Series on Decision Making
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ5rI02s1CY
Bob Goff's Love Does
https://app.neilpatel.com/en/ubersuggest/keyword_ideas?keyword=decisions&locId=2840&lang=en
The Crossing Columbia, Mo
https://www.thecrossingchurch.com/

If you're at all familiar with this podcast, then you know that Robin's son's leukemia has played an important part of Robin and Rachel's journey. It was this cancer that actually connected their lives and sharing Matt's story and God's faithfulness has become part of their shared passion. So, it is with heavy hearts that they recorded this episode, sharing publicly that Matt's leukemia has relapsed.

In this episode, Robin transparently shares the events of the past few days and the heartbreak that the diagnosis has brought to her family and so many people who love the May family. She also shares how listeners can join them in the long battle ahead and become a part of #teammatt.

Show Notes:
3:00 Hear how Covid and other inconveniences were actually a part of God's protection in getting the cancer diagnosed early.

6:30 Robin explains why it is necessary for Matt to be treated at the University of Kansas Medical Center rather than in Columbia or St. Louis like before.

10:00 As much as Robin and the family hate not being able to be in the hospital beside Matt, here are some of the ways God is using the situation to grow them all.

13:30 Here's the verse that God is using to speak truth to Robin and why.

17:30 Rachel shares how the diagnosis is shaping her picture of God.

18:30 Robin explains why being so loved by so many is bittersweet for her.

21:00 How is the May family really doing? Listen here for specific prayer requests for each of the family.

25:00 What does Matt's treatment look like? Robin outlines the plan here, which includes a bone marrow transplant.

27:40 Interested in being a bone marrow donor? Hear about it here and go to www.bethematch.com to learn more about how you could help someone in need.

30:45 Here's a quick summary of what you can be praying for to help the May family.

34:00 Want to stay up to date on Matt's treatment and ways you can help? Follow Robin at Robin May Ministries on Facebook.

37:00 Join Rachel and Robin as they close this episode in prayer.


Want to connect with Robin and Rachel?
Find them on Instagram here:
https://instagram.com/theproblemwithperfect?igshid=9jvum57yip6l

Connect with Rachel and her life at the loft:
https://instagram.com/rachel__leigh__?igshid=1erbjftzgyje9
https://bat-recorder-sznx.squarespace.com/config/

Follow Robin and get updates on Matt's treatment on Robin May Ministries Facebook page or at www.robinmayministries.com

Email us @[email protected] with your questions or comments about this or any episode.

In my last R&R, I talked about holding happiness and heartbreak at the same time. With Missouri's stay at home orders extended, this conversation may be more important than ever.

We don't truly know when we will be able to leave our homes and gather with our friends, so in the meantime, how do we learn to create new rhythms to keep our cup full? 

I'm giving you several strategies that I've used to keep me happy and in a routine. I hope this episode leaves you hopeful and encouraged as you endure another week at home. 

QUICK TIPS: 

• Get outside and exercise as often as you can
• Take in the beauty of God's nature
• Make the most of your kid's sleep time 
• Keep a routine, anything that gives you a "normal" 
• Save time to get in God's word 

With more than 360 million Americans sheltering at home, it's become obvious that spending all day, every day with those we love has the opportunity to bring out the worst in us.

The good news is you're not alone. In this episode, we give you tips to navigate surprise homeschooling, expectations with your spouse and kids, working from home, staying sane during the shelter in place order, and biblical truths to help you navigate all the uncertainty you may be feeling.

Guests: Justin and Jen Garrett
After 10 years of leading student ministry at The Crossing in Columbia, MO, Justin and Jen recently moved to Kansas City Missouri to plant a new church. It will launch publicly in September at Walden Middle School. For more information on the church or the information shared in this podcast, email them at [email protected].

SHOW NOTES

14:30 Do you find yourself juggling work with parenting, homeschooling and managing a household? These tips are for you.

17:30 You probably know your child better than anyone so it may surprise you that you don't know this about them, which is why homeschooling can be so difficult.

20:00 Hear why this is not the time to focus on perfection and how to give yourself grace.

22:30 The key to happiness may revolve around this one thing.

28:30 Does the pandemic have you doubting God's control and your faith? Hear how Justin struggles as well and how he overcomes it.

32:30 When you feel anxious, here's Jen's advice on what you need more (and less) of in your life.

34:30 Feeling like the pressures of staying at home are bringing out the worst in you? Here's why that happens and how it can be a blessing in disguise.

36:30 Do you expect your partner to do this for you and find yourself disappointed?

39:00 Quantity does not equal quality, especially with this one thing and especially now.

41:00 Do you have trouble owning your crap? Here's why it's so important and some great wisdom to help you get better at it.

45:00 Here's the one thing couples need to be doing and might not have the energy to do.

50:00 Here are a few resources Justin and Jen recommend to help us strengthen our faith and our relationships during this time: Psalms, The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis, Wednesday's Word devotionals by Paul David Tripp and the Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life by Tish Harrison Warren.

Enjoy this episode? Leave us a rating and a comment so more people will find our content!

Want to connect with Robin and Rachel?
Find them on Instagram here:
https://instagram.com/theproblemwithperfect?igshid=9jvum57yip6l

To Join LIVE workouts, visit Robin May Ministries on Facebook or find her on Instagram at:  https://ww.instagram.com/p/B3lFRS8HELd/

Connect with Rachel and her life at the loft:
https://instagram.com/rachel__leigh__?igshid=1erbjftzgyje9
https://bat-recorder-sznx.squarespace.com/config/

Email us @[email protected] with your questions or comments about this or any episode.

While the rest of the world is adjusting to working from home, it's business as usual for Rachel. As a seasoned freelance professional, Rachel knows all the struggles that come from at home working. In this episode of R&R, she shares all the lessons she learned the hard way to help you increase your productivity and maintain some sense of normalcy. 

Creating a new "Coronavirus normal" isn't without its challenges. With the comfort of our routines and human interactions gone, we find ourselves searching for ways to fill the gap and keep our cups full. In this episode, we share our best tips for self-care to help us all find greater joy and peace in these days at home.


SHOW NOTES:
3:15 Learn about the online game pack that has Rachel reuniting, albeit virtually, with her family and friends.

7:00 What's your favorite television binge right now? Here are ours!

10:00 This was a little awkward and clunky at first, but was worth it for our mental health.

13:00 This tip is something that is always good for us, but might just be essential during the quarantine.

14:00 Want to get a good workout and get a sense of connection with Robin and Rachel? Join us! Here's how!

16:30 Hear about how one person is using this time at home to reconnect with her body and to get in shape.

19:00 Got some extra time on your hands? So did Robin and the May family before they did this! Maybe you want to join her and lots of Americans who are doing this to keep themselves happy during corona.

20:00 Hear the big reveal of Puppy May's name.

22:00 Want to get three months of free beer while you're stuck at home? Here's how!

23:30 Here's why animals are so good for us, especially now.

For a list of free online exercise options, check out this resource:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/reviewedcom/2020/04/02/best-online-fitness-classes-working-out-home/5067270002/

Want to see pics of Robin's new puppy Ty or join her for LIVE workouts, visit Robin May Ministries on Facebook.

Want to connect with Robin and Rachel?
Find them on Instagram here:
https://instagram.com/theproblemwithperfect?igshid=9jvum57yip6l

Interested in reading Robin's blog post about COVID-19:
https://bat-recorder-sznx.squarespace.com/config/

Interested in having Robin speak at your next event? Connect with her on Facebook at Robin May Ministries
https://www.facebook.com/2330042033706535/posts/2871699789540754?sfns=mo
or on Instagram at:  https://ww.instagram.com/p/B3lFRS8HELd/

Connect with Rachel and her life at the loft:
https://instagram.com/rachel__leigh__?igshid=1erbjftzgyje9
https://bat-recorder-sznx.squarespace.com/config/

Email us @[email protected] with your questions or comments about this or any episode.

Need a little R&R heading into the weekend? Here's your bonus episode of The Problem with Perfect designed to give you just that.

This week it's one-on-one with Robin as she explains the tension created by her son's recent birthday. One one hand, after his battle with cancer three years ago, she is incredibly grateful for another birthday. And on the other hand, she mourns yet another birthday where the world seems out of control. The trick is learning for these two things to co-exist so that peace and joy abound.


Want to connect with Robin and Rachel?
Find them on Instagram here:
https://instagram.com/theproblemwithperfect?igshid=9jvum57yip6l

Interested in reading Robin's blog post about COVID-19 on her website:
https://bat-recorder-sznx.squarespace.com/config/

Interested in having Robin speak at your next event? Connect with her on Facebook at Robin May Ministries
https://www.facebook.com/2330042033706535/posts/2871699789540754?sfns=mo
or on Instagram at:  https://ww.instagram.com/p/B3lFRS8HELd/

Connect with Rachel and her life at the loft:
https://instagram.com/rachel__leigh__?igshid=1erbjftzgyje9
https://bat-recorder-sznx.squarespace.com/config/

Email us @[email protected] with your questions or comments about this or any episode.

The anxiety and fear that the coronavirus pandemic is producing seems to be intensifying the longer we have to sit with our new reality.  It’s clear that many of us are worrying about life and death issues for ourselves or those we love, as well as the long list of unknowns to face after this is "over." But what might be less obvious are the emotions that come with the long list of things we've lost.

Psychologists have a word for these feelings associated with loss. It's called grief.

In this episode, Dr. Denise Bickel helps us understand that it's important to acknowledge and grieve what the pandemic has taken from us. Whether it's our inability to keep our routines (and the comfort that comes from doing so), big life event celebrations, or our sense of security - the losses are real. Grieving them will help us move forward and, as Denise explains, help us create a new post-corona normal.

Guest:
Dr. Denise Bickel, PhD, MSW, LCSW, has decades of experience as a palliative care social worker and is an adjunct professor at the University of Denver. Denise is also an avid Crossfit participant and former triathlete and marathoner. She is also Robin's mentor.

SHOW NOTES:

4:15 Do you feel like you're on the verge of losing it? (Join the club!) This explanation why might surprise you.

8:45 Listen to this checklist of behaviors to learn if you're struggling with grief and didn't know it.

9:15 Denise shares the one quote about control that you'll never want to forget.

10:45 We can't control the coronavirus, but what can we control to help process the grief that this new reality has brought us?

14:30 Are you holding in your tears? Burying your emotions? Here's the permission you need to cry when you need to cry and to sit with your feelings when you have them.

16:00 Waiting for this to all be over and for life to go back to normal? You might consider Denise's expertise on this subject to help you better prepare for what's ahead.

19:45 Find yourself in need of a counselor? Listen to these tips on how to find one rather than letting our emotions overwhelm us.

21:30 Why you should give yourself the grace to feel what you're feeling, rather than "shoulding" on yourself.

24:00 Don't miss this EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT about the future of this podcast!

Want to connect with Robin and Rachel?
Find them on Instagram here:
https://instagram.com/theproblemwithperfect?igshid=9jvum57yip6l

Interested in reading Robin's blog post about COVID-19:
https://bat-recorder-sznx.squarespace.com/config/

Interested in having Robin speak at your next event? Connect with her on Facebook at Robin May Ministries
https://www.facebook.com/2330042033706535/posts/2871699789540754?sfns=mo
or on Instagram at:  https://ww.instagram.com/p/B3lFRS8HELd/

Connect with Rachel and her life at the loft:
https://instagram.com/rachel__leigh__?igshid=1erbjftzgyje9
https://bat-recorder-sznx.squarespace.com/config/

Email us @[email protected] with your questions or comments about this or any episode.