The Relationship Guy

This week, John looks at codependency - a circular relationship in which one person needs the other person, who in turn, needs to be needed - how it manifests within relationships, and how we can identify this compulsion.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Codependency is typically discussed in the same terms as substance abuse. It is the reliance of one person upon the other in order to keep this addiction going.
• Codependent people tend to form and become dependant upon unhealthy, emotionally harmful relationships.
• This state may feel like an addiction, but it is in fact a compulsion. It is the coming together of two people with maladapted needs that need to be met.

BEST MOMENTS

'Two people become so invested in one another that they can't function independently'

'Your mood, happiness and identity are defined by another person'

'This is often referred to as a relationship addiction'

VALUABLE RESOURCES

Want to be able to create healthy relationships in your life - why not book in for a complimentary call and we can discuss how you can get the new started with some new types of relationships - https://calendly.com/johnkennycoaching/30min

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy        

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

 

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

At this time of year it's far more normal to spend time with family member, perhaps for longer periods than you may be used to. But this proximity can throw up several issues, and as John discusses in this show, there are ways to make sure that our relationships with those we love do not suffer.

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

• In general, we tend to look to our mothers for love and affection, and to our fathers for sense of pride and self-worth.
• We must take time to reflect upon and recognise the relationships that we currently have with our family members.
• One issue could come from the angle of gifts. Often we give gifts not just to make others happy, but also to gain acceptance.

BEST MOMENTS

'It's the season of goodwill to all, no matter how you might feel about things'

'Do you notice that things only seem to go well when you're doing what they want?'

'There are ways in which you can feel empowered'

VALUABLE RESOURCES

Want to be able to create healthy relationships in your life - why not book in for a complimentary call and we can discuss how you can get the new started with some new types of relationships - https://calendly.com/johnkennycoaching/30min

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy        

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

 

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, John talks to Gemma Nice, a Relationship Coach and Yoga Teacher who specialises in working with professional women, with a focus on how to have fulfilling, loving and healthy relationships.

Gemma joins John to talk about her work, and the surprising way in which yoga contributed to the health of her own relationship.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• By removing the stresses of life, we can be better placed to repair a relationship that may have gone stale and which may be suffering from a lack of closeness.
• The best and most effective way to repair a fault in a relationship is to bring it out into the open and talk about it. If we fail to do so, then the problem will decay and grow worse.
• For many, the only validation they receives comes externally, which makes it incredibly difficult to foster internal self-belief.
• Relationships are a source of strength. My harnessing our respective strength we become even more fundamentally solid as a unit.

BEST MOMENTS

'We felt closeness that we hadn't felt for ages'

'Having more communication in the relationship helped a lot!'

'No one gets on with everyone 24-7'

'It makes you stronger as a couple' 

VALUABLE RESOURCES

Want to be able to create healthy intimate relationships in your life? Then join John on Monday 6th December for a free workshop, where he will be discussing what you can do to make this happen: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/what-you-need-to-create-a-healthy-intimate-relationship-tickets-203718677047

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy        

Easyoga - https://www.easyoga.co.uk

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, John discusses modern relationship terminology, and how certain ways of describing or phrasing things can help us to better understand the places from which we have come in life.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• One of the most important red flags you can have in a relationship is the fact that you really know nothing deep about your partner, and they they are reticent to share their innermost hopes and dreams. This can indicate that they are not in this for the long haul.
• Stashing is the process by where someone almost hides you away - storing you for when they want you, but not really sharing you with anyone important in their lives.
• Catfishing is a term to describe someone who has an online relationship, but has misrepresented themselves for some reason. Sometimes the intentions are far more sinister than we might think.
• Ghosting has become very common in avoidant types of people. It manifests in a total break in communication without explanation.

BEST MOMENTS 

'Someone who isn't really committed is unlikely to tell you much about themselves'

'There won't be any trust because you're not sharing anything with each other'

'Listen to your trusted friends and loved ones'

VALUABLE RESOURCES

Want to be able to create healthy intimate relationships in your life? Then join John on Monday 6th December for a free workshop, where he will be discussing what you can do to make this happen: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/what-you-need-to-create-a-healthy-intimate-relationship-tickets-203718677047

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy       

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

 

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

John talks to Cordelia Kate, the founder of The Rebellious Business Network, devoted to helping entrepreneurs achieve their full potential through revolutionising approaches to communication and engagement.

Being a rebellious entrepreneur is about building breaking the mould and building relationships. Cordelia joins John to discuss her approach, and why being an entrepreneur and being a rebel require such similar attitudes.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Rebelliousness goes hand in hand with being an entrepreneur. Taking chances in business requires an act of rebellion against the path that society usually plans for us.
• It's no good making goals for ourselves based on what other people want. True happiness and freedom come from recognising what we ourselves want, and working towards it.
• Loving ourselves begins with realising that we are not bad at our core. We are worthy. We are good enough. By the simple act of exploring self-development, we admit to ourselves that we are worth more.
• If we go into marketing with the mind-set of purely building relationships, instead of simply looking for sales, then success comes far more easily.

BEST MOMENTS

'In order to be an entrepreneur you have to be a bit of a rebel'

'Create goals that give you more happiness and more freedom'

'I was too scared to look inside myself and tune into who I am'

'I wanted to put something together to keep business owners connected'

VALUABLE RESOURCES

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy       

ABOUT THE GUEST

Cordelia Kate left her job as an Emergency Nurse to focus on her side-hustle and work from home with her three children. After a very turbulent start in the business world, including divorce, a major car accident and accumulating £60k in debt, she managed to turn everything around, launching Rebellious Business. She went from zero to six figures during the pandemic, and is now supporting other emerging entrepreneurs' rise to success.

https://join.rebelliousbusiness.com/network

https://www.instagram.com/cordelia.kate/

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all dream of the perfect relationship, but as John discusses in this week's show, sometimes there is beauty to be found in the imperfect. Sometimes, perfection can come with its own set of risks...

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• When it comes to developing relationships we can often become far too hung up on the faults we wish to avoid than the positive things we need for enrichment.
• Expectations for relationships today are higher than ever. Relationships are a choice, so mediocrity is no longer acceptable. We have arrived at an all-or-nothing way of thinking.
• Perfectionist personalities will tend to exhaust all options and explore many possibilities in order to secure their flawless partner. This might sound ideal, but in reality there are huge downsides.
• Perfectionists report more regret and depression and feel threatened by others that they perceive as doing better. They also report less optimism and satisfaction.

BEST MOMENTS

'We overemphasise the negatives and under-appreciate the positives'

'If you could build the perfect relationship, what would it look like?'

'There is a myth in perfection'

VALUABLE RESOURCES

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy      

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

John talks to positive changes expert, author and podcaster, Shelley F Knight, whose works include new book 'Good Grief: The A to Z Approach To Modern Day Healing'.

Shelley and John discuss the concept behind the book, Shelley's own experiences with loss and grief through her life and career experience as a nurse, and the many ways in which grief can manifest.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Loss can cause us to become stuck in a place and time - grief can lock us in place - and only through recognition and guidance can we free ourselves and move on.
• Life is about moving forwards, never looking too long back behind us. We must move on if we hope to grow, and if we hope to heal.
• Grief is not just restricted to death and losing a loved on. Grief can arise through losing anything to which we have an emotional connection, including jobs, finances, freedoms, health, or even loss of control.
• Relationships, and self-regulation are not things that are taught in our current education system, and yet they are skills and tools that we all must reply upon. We must therefore do all we can to help the next generation to better understand themselves.

BEST MOMENTS

'I've gone from a clinical mindset of understanding into a spiritual one'

'We're more than the doctors tell us. We are beautiful beings with so much potential'

'I've not come this far to only come this far'

'We must allow ourselves to speak about how we're feeling'

VALUABLE RESOURCES

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy      

Shelley F Knight Twitter - https://twitter.com/ShelleyFKnight

Shelley F Knight - https://shelleyfknight.com

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

John talks to master coach and women's health advocate, Laura Applewhite, about the work she does in helping women heal their hearts, bodies and souls after a hysterectomy, and why this physically and emotionally costly procedure requires us to develop the strongest of relationships with ourselves.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Approximately 55,000 women in the UK alone will have a hysterectomy this year. In America, the number grows to 660,000, meaning that although the issue is widespread, the conversations are not out in the open.
• When women in the world are happy, then the world itself is a happier place. By doing all we can to heal women, we create a better society.
• A hysterectomy is an isolating experience, and one that comes with a set of preconceptions due to a lack of dialogue and plentiful misinformation. It is incumbent upon us as a society to right these views, and to support all women going through this experience, with care, love and guidance.
• In this life, and especially in relationships, we must not take ourselves too seriously. The key to fostering strong bonds with others, and with ourselves, is to find the light amid the darkness.

BEST MOMENTS

'This is not spoken about enough'

'My mission is to help women heal, so that they can help to heal the world'

'We must give them the tools and the space to help them go through what they're going through'

'The most important thing in a happy, loving relationship is a sense of humour'

VALUABLE RESOURCES

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy      

Laura Applewhite Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/laura_apples_/

Hysterectomy Healing - https://www.facebook.com/groups/349062779847540/

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, John discusses curiosity, and how cultivating it can lead to more fulfilment when it comes to relationships, and a more fulfilling life.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Humans are built to be curious. This is how we have managed to evolve since the dawn of time, and what drives us as children to learn about the world around us.
• When curiosity is piqued, our brains release dopamine, triggering our rewards system, and encouraging us to dig deeper into the pursuit at hand.
• Curious people are more open to new social experiences, and are more willing to embrace uncertainty. This makes them far more adept in social situations.
• Through becoming more curious about our potential partners, we strengthen our connection to them. When building new relationships, try to be less afraid of uncertainty.

BEST MOMENTS

'Curiosity can override anxiety, boredom and can deepen social connection'

'Curiosity has given us the capacity and desire to learn about our lives'

'Our brains actually reward us for exploring'

'By taking a more inquisitive to our lives and relationships, we may even be able to overcome social anxiety' 

VALUABLE RESOURCES

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy      

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

 

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, John talks to multi seven-figure business strategist, Lisa Johnson, who has dedicated herself to helping entrepreneurs scale using passive and semi-passive income. Lisa is also a passionate anti-bullying campaigner, and a proponent of the message that anyone can become a success, no matter where they start in life.

Lisa talks to John about her own experiences at the hands of bullies, and talks about how we can rise above to find happiness and success.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Sometimes we become so focussed upon our careers that we fail to see the negative impact this can have upon our personal relationships. We must strike the right balance.
• The purpose that pushes us forward is our "why", but we must allow that this can change. It's okay to set new goals and aim for different things as we go through life.
• Adversity can fuel success if we use it in a positive way. The desire to prove our detractors wrong can act as fuel to push us higher.
• When we lift others up alongside our own success, then we raise society as a whole, instead of a piecemeal hierarchy that serves only the few.

BEST MOMENTS

'I went through two marriages because my career was so important to me'

'Your "why" can change'

'Eventually you stop caring about what other people think. You start realising that actually, it's nonsense'

'Negative voices are always louder than positive' 

VALUABLE RESOURCES

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy      

Lisa Johnson - https://www.lisajohnson.com

Lisa Johnson Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/lisajohnsonstrategist

Lisa Johnson Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lisajohnsonstrategist

Bullies Out - https://bulliesout.com/ 

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.