The Relationship Guy

People in negative relationships are often asked why they don't "just leave"? But is it always just as easy as walking away?

In this week's show, John examines the causes of abuse in relationships, its effects, and the complex reasons why it's not always an easy decision to turn our backs and walk away.

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

• According to surveys, one in four women, and on in nine men, are in relationships that contain some form of sexual, physical or emotional violence. It's far more widespread than we realise.
• Love can still linger in a relationship, even when it's begun to decay. It is entirely possible to be in love, even though it is unhealthy to do so.
• If abuse and violence arrive in a relationship slowly, and not in a sudden burst, then it can have a conditioning effect, slowly becoming normalised, until only an outside perspective can make us realise that something is truly wrong.
• Manipulation and abuse can come in hitherto unrecognised ways. This usually drip-feeds in slowly, and gently removes power from one party, and gives to the other. it can be as simple as controlling the finances in the relationship, causing one to have to ask the other, thereby switching the power balance.

BEST MOMENTS

'There are other reasons why someone might persist with a toxic relationship'

'Love is the ultimate connection'

'Hope is something we have instinctually. We can perpetually hope that things get better'

'Manipulation is key with an abuser. They are often smart, charming and magnetic'

VALUABLE RESOURCES

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy       

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

 

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, John talks you through the phenomenon of gaslighting - the practice by where minds are manipulated through negative means - how this can affect relationships and what we can do if we find ourselves on the wrong side of the practice.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• "Gaslighting" comes from a 1938 play called Gaslight, and used to describe a type of manipulation designed to invalidate you as a person.
• If you find yourself on the receiving end of comments that fly against the things you believe are true, then you may be a victim of gaslighting.
• Gaslighters are often not on a crusade to destroy you. They are merely using a nefarious strategy in order to make things easier for themselves.
• Gaslighters have a "window of comfort" - a narrow, blinkered gap that is beneficial to the gaslighter as it restricts our view of the wider world. We can overcome by pushing to broaden this window.

BEST MOMENTS

'You may recognise such statements as "That never happened - you must be imagining it"'

'In essence this is a form of emotional abuse'

'You only remember a memory based on the last time that you remembered it'

'The law of attraction is at play here'

VALUABLE RESOURCES

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy       

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This time, John talks about the language of love itself, which communicates itself through many varied means, including subconscious, physical, psychological, sensual and of course, verbal.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• We have learned through our life experiences, the way we wish to be loved, respected and cared for by others. We each have a different means of listening to the language of love.
• An act of service refers not to servitude, but rather that actions speak louder than words. It is when others recognise your need and show love voluntarily.
• We have a primary way of feeling loved, and the people we're with will have methods, too. These may differ between people, so we must recognise this.

BEST MOMENTS

'If this is your love language, then you like positive words of affection'

'If someone gives you something that means something to you, it's not about what is costs, but the thought they put into it'

'This is where a lot of problems seem to occur, especially in the dating world'

VALUABLE RESOURCES

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy       

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

John talks to Matt Elwell, the found of the Elite Closing Academy, a place built for entrepreneurs, business owners and sales teams who want to dramatically increase their sales without coming across as hard sell, pushy or manipulative.

Matt discusses the importance of building relationships when it comes to sales, and how the art of sales itself is built upon establishing and developing connections with others.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Sales is a three-way relationship - healthy for your client, a good win for yourself, and a positive impact upon the universe itself.
• We must start with the end in mind. If we can see the perfect ending for both parties, and work back from there, we're guaranteed to provide the wins we all need.
• Life and our futures are never doomed by past experiences, so long as we have the will to want to change our destiny. Don't look back - look forward. We are in control of what comes next.
• Being coached by an expert in relationships allows us a different perspective. Never discount the guidance that others can provide on life.

BEST MOMENTS

'I believe that life is all about the relationships you have with others, but also the relationship you have with yourself'

'Sales should be the perfect relationship'

'When humans are successful, the universe wins'

'Our experiences have led us here. Now what do we want to do about it?'

VALUABLE RESOURCES

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy      

Matt Elwell LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/matt-elwell-974943118/?originalSubdomain=uk

Elite Closing Academy - https://eliteclosingacademy.com/

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

John discusses your attachment style, and how if they are not addressed and recognised effectively they can lead you to the wrong types of relationships, and can ultimately lead to your self-sabotaging other areas of life.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Attachment styles develop in early childhood, and are reinforce in later life depending on the relationships you build and the style you have adopted.
• The two main types of attachment are secure and insecure. Secure is found in people who have experienced love and acceptance. Insecure is generally found in those who have not experienced these things.
• Anxious people are generally guarded at the beginning of a relationship. They need reassurance, and require proof of trust in someone.
• Choosing a relationship and entering into it, is a subconscious act of matching our attachment style to that of someone else.

BEST MOMENTS

'It impacts on your self-confidence, your self worth, and your self belief'

'People with insecure attachments tend to choose people with insecure attachments'

'It's all about what's going on inside of you'

'When you're looking for a partner, subconsciously you're looking for fulfilment'

VALUABLE RESOURCES

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy        

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This time, learn more about your host, John Kenny - what fascinates him about relationships, the personal experiences that led him to become "The Relationship Guy", coaching people, and the impact that relationships can have upon every area of life.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Relationships are the act of two complicated entities coming together and trying to find common ground. They can be difficult, but are worth working for.
• Our outlook upon relationships are formed from an early age. These nascent experiences in life shape the way we see ourselves and relationships in general.
• If we cannot accept ourselves, then the belief that anyone else can accept us is severely limited. We must accept ourselves if we wish to be accepted by others.

BEST MOMENTS

'Relationships are complicated and complex, because they are the coming together of two complicated human beings'

'The security was missing - the certainty was missing - and therefore I learned to shut down my emotions'

'My acceptance of myself has been key to turning my life around'

VALUABLE RESOURCES

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy        

ABOUT THE HOST

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to ‘The Relationship Guy’ podcast with John Kenny, a regular look at the world of relationships and their importance in living a fulfilled life, the impact they have upon all areas of life, and how and why we attract them.

In the first episode, meet your host, John Kenny, who tells you exactly what you can expect in the coming episodes.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• The show aims to discuss all things relationships – how they impact life, how you can find quality intimate relationships, and how you can improve them all round.
• If you can nurture a healthy relationship with yourself, then you’re far more likely to make positive choices In others.

BEST MOMENTS 

'It’s going to be such an exciting journey’

‘This is the most important relationship you’re ever going to have’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy        

ABOUT THE HOST 

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships.

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

CONTACT METHOD

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching


LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching


Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/


Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}


YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ABOUT THE HOST

 

I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy intimate relationships.  John is an Author, Documentarian and public speaker. 

Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.

www.therelationshipguy.co.uk 

 

CONTACT INFO

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/johnkennycoaching
LinkedIn - https:www.linkedin.com/in/john-kenny-coaching
Insta - https://www.instagram.com/johnkennycoaching/
Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/johnkennycoach}
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHTj9x6Tlo7lcIJITyx-tgQ

Clubhouse - @relationshipguy

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.