Every behavior has a payoff. I find myself asking “what’s the payoff in behaving the way that I am?” And if Im letting my past control me, there’s a part of me that gives permission to living as a victim, to the point where I’m less responsible. It’s easier to live as a victim then it is to live as a fully empowered agent of someone who can change and create the life that they want to live. When we live as a victim we can have excuses. We can have excuses for why we don’t certain things, virtuous things, because we have this bad past. So I start with, what’s the pay off? Do we want to be a victim or do we want to live a richer life.? – John Certalic

John Certalic is the executive direct for Caring for Others. He’s also the author of Them: The Richer Life Found in Caring for Others

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