As you elevate, your language changes. Your standards rise. Your self-talk strengthens. But sometimes the people around you don’t adjust with you. What once felt like humility can slowly turn into shrinking. What once felt like gratitude can turn into ego. And what once felt like confidence can be misinterpreted as arrogance.

This episode challenges you to examine your self-talk, your circle, and your posture. Are you growing with gratitude—or drifting into ego? Are you shrinking your dreams to make others comfortable? Or are you standing firm in who you’re becoming?

Growth requires balance. Confidence requires awareness. And humility requires memory.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• The real difference between arrogance and confidence.
• Why what people say, feel, and do reflects their reality—not always yours.
• How success can subtly shift your communication if you’re not careful.
• Why remembering where you came from protects your character.
• How journaling hard seasons keeps gratitude alive.
• Why it’s “funny to live in a life you once prayed for.”
• How insecure environments can cause you to tighten your dreams.
• Why shrinking your vision to appease others is a dangerous pattern.
• The importance of staying humble while still thinking big.
• How healthy self-talk protects you from ego and insecurity.
• Why growth sometimes makes others uncomfortable—and that’s okay.

You prayed for this level.

Don’t sabotage it with the wrong associations or the wrong self-talk.

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In this episode of The Self Talk Experience, Darnell goes solo and shares a powerful reminder: A mission doesn’t need luxury to be powerful.

In a culture obsessed with watches, cars, houses, and visible success, it’s easy to believe you need the look before you can lead. But this episode challenges that mindset. Darnell breaks down how clarity of mission, strength of vision, and alignment in self-talk matter far more than material proof.

From personal stories about business trips, family sacrifices, and early income growth without flashy symbols, this episode reframes motivation, distraction, philosophy, and long-term legacy. If you’ve ever felt like you had to “have it” before you could build it, this conversation will shift your perspective.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• Why a strong mission is more powerful than luxury.
• How waiting for material success can delay your growth.
• The difference between having goals and having a mission.
• How a clear mission makes decision-making easier.
• Why distractions increase when your vision isn’t defined.
• The traffic “rubbernecking” analogy and how it applies to your life.
• Why motivation comes from alignment, not hype.
• How lifestyle comes from results—and results come from activity.
• The role philosophy plays in shaping attitude and action.
• How shifting your philosophy shifts your entire life trajectory.
• Why sharing your mission attracts the right people.
• How to stop letting society dictate your priorities.

A mission doesn’t need luxury to be powerful.

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Are the people around you speaking to who you were…

or who you’re becoming?

In this episode of The Self Talk Experience, Darnell and Traci unpack a powerful mindset shift that can change your relationships—and your future.

Many of us struggle with self-sabotage not because we lack ability, but because we stay connected to environments that only recognize our past. When people constantly remind you of who you used to be, it becomes harder to step into who you’re meant to become.

This conversation dives into:

• Why self-talk shapes your trajectory
• The difference between being “nice” and being truly kind
• The power of edification (building others up)
• Why tearing down is easy—but building up requires intention
• How communication can revive relationships that matter
• Why you must speak to your own future self—even if no one else does

If no one around you is speaking life into the person you’re becoming, start doing it yourself.

Because the things you say to yourself about yourself eventually determine what you attract for yourself.

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In this episode of The Self Talk Experience, Darnell and Traci dive into a freeing but often misunderstood truth: Love does not mean limitless access.

Many of us equate love with constant availability, saying yes, and always being there—especially for family, friends, and people we care about. But as Darnell and Traci unpack, real love is rooted in mutual respect, healthy boundaries, and season-by-season wisdom. Limiting access isn’t rejection—it’s often necessary to protect your peace, purpose, and ability to show up as your best self.

This conversation challenges the guilt that creeps in when access changes, and reframes boundaries as an act of self-leadership, not selfishness. When self-talk is healthy, you can love people deeply without abandoning yourself in the process.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• Why love does not require unlimited access to your time, energy, or presence.
• How redefining love in friendships, family, and business relationships prevents resentment.
• The difference between boundaries (what you need) and rules (what you try to control).
• Why mutual respect should naturally adjust access during different seasons of life.
• How guilt creeps in when self-talk is weak—and how to silence it.
• Why even Jesus limited access while still loving people fully.
• How unlimited access can unintentionally create dependency instead of growth.
• Why rest, solitude, and margin are required to give people your best—not your leftovers.
• How to communicate changing access without damaging relationships.
• Why outgrowing a season doesn’t mean abandoning people—it means honoring purpose.

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Welcome back to another episode of the Self-Talk Experience with Darnell & Traci Self.

In this episode, we’re talking about something that quietly keeps people stuck longer than they realize:

Unlearning old narratives — without staying in the same environments that created them.

Because here’s the truth:

You can change what you believe — but if you don’t change what you’re around, you’ll keep ending up in the same place.

This episode is about growth, responsibility, relationships, and what it actually takes to move forward without burning bridges or losing yourself.

We get into:

1. Why Awareness Alone Doesn’t Change Your Life

You can unlearn a belief…

but if you keep sitting in the same conversations, the same thinking, and the same circles, the old narrative keeps getting reinforced.

2. Identifying the Narratives You’re Living By

Many beliefs around money, work, family, and success weren’t chosen — they were absorbed.

If something keeps repeating in your life, it’s time to ask where that story came from.

3. Facts vs. Assumptions

Some things are true.

Many things are just repeated assumptions passed down without evidence.

Growth requires learning the difference.

4. Social Norms Go Unquestioned

Working long hours for a job is considered normal.

Working long hours for your vision gets criticized.

Same effort.

Different narrative.

5. Growth Brings Uncomfortable Conversations

Not every conversation is “tough” — but growth often brings discomfort.

Especially when changing your thinking impacts relationships you care about.

6. Your Circle Reinforces Your Ceiling

Most people in the same circle think the same way, earn similarly, and justify the same limits.

Unless someone intentionally shifts their philosophy, the group stays the same.

7. How to Elevate Without Abandoning People

You don’t always have to leave your circle.

Sometimes you elevate by:

• learning in higher-level environments
• bringing that thinking back
• and allowing others to rise with you — if they choose to

8. Accountability Keeps You From Slipping Back

Getting out of an old mindset is one thing.

Staying out requires accountability, support, and reinforcement.

9. Direction Changes Before Results

Change doesn’t happen overnight.

Direction does.

Grace is required while growth catches up.

10. Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself

Your future is shaped by the story you keep replaying.

Sometimes growth means rewriting the movie — not denying the past, but seeing how it worked for you.

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“How do you balance it all?”

Here's the truth… balance is overrated.

In this episode, we break down why the real key isn’t trying to evenly juggle everything — it’s learning how to prioritize what matters most in the season you’re in, and making sure your priorities actually match what you say you want.

The real key is learning how to prioritize the right things in the right season, and making sure your priorities match the life you say you want.

In this episode, we discuss:

✅ Why “balance” doesn’t work in real life

✅ How to prioritize based on seasons

✅ What to do when goals and priorities don’t align

✅ Why rigid schedules can block growth

✅ The difference between family commitments and legacy building

✅ How to stop letting guilt and outside voices control you

✅ The discipline people never see behind the wins

If this episode challenged you, helped you, or blessed you — make sure you:

👍 Like

💬 Comment “PRIORITIES”

📌 Subscribe for more episodes every Thursday

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In this episode of The Self Talk Experience, Darnell and Traci dive into a game‑changing concept: The Power of One.

It’s not just the one action that changes your life—it’s the way that one action makes you feel that starts a chain reaction. When you do the thing you said you would do (even if it’s just a part of it), you begin to build trust with yourself. That self‑trust leads to new standards, new habits, and a new level of life.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• Why focusing on big numbers and big goals can feel overwhelming—and how breaking them down into one more action makes them doable.
• How small wins (like 50 pushups instead of 500) can shift your mindset and create momentum.
• The power of accountability and how challenges (push‑up challenges, stair climber commitments, etc.) can pull you out of your comfort zone.
• Why your mind looks for evidence to support what it already believes—and how changing your self talk helps you attract more good.
• How to stop speaking in absolutes like “nobody,” “always,” and “never,” and start seeing the truth about your progress.
• The importance of raising your standards—you’re not stuck, your expectations have just grown.
• Real life examples of doing one uncomfortable thing: writing letters to speak up, getting back 

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Welcome back to a brand new season of the Self Talk Experience with Darnell & Traci Self! This first episode of 2026 is all about intentionality, boundaries, honest conversations, and setting yourself up to elevate this year—in your faith, family, finances, health, and relationships. We'll talk about

1. Why Intentionality Changes Everything

If you don’t intentionally choose better, you’ll unintentionally default to what’s easy and available—whether that’s food, habits, finances, or relationships.

2. The Difference Between Boundaries and Rules

Boundaries are about you and how you protect your peace.

3. How To Choose what to continue, adjust, or remove in the new year.

4. Tough Conversations & Relationship Growth

How to use planning time to have real, honest conversations about what each person needs.

5. Accountability, Habits & Execution

Why execution—not just hoping, wishing, and writing goals—will shape your 2026.

and so much more!

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in today's episode we are going to dive into why it's not just about knowing what you want to change, but understanding what you are changing towards. We'll also dive into:

• Embrace Change Mindfully: Change is inevitable, but it's crucial to be intentional about what you want to change to. Identify your new goals and make deliberate plans to reach them.
• Trust and Communication in Relationships: Successful pivoting often requires trust in one another, particularly in partnerships. Open communication can facilitate seamless transitions.
• Positive Self Talk: The way you converse with yourself can significantly influence your reality. Focus on affirming your abilities and potential rather than dwelling on past shortcomings.
• Goal Adjustment Is Normal: Goals may change several times through the year and that’s okay. Pivot your plans, just make sure you're still moving in the right direction towards something that excites you.
• Prepare for Setbacks: Anticipate and plan for unexpected setbacks in your goals, so they don't derail your progress. Keep motivated by shifting focus to what can be controlled or changed in the situation.

and so much more!

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Ever wondered why some people effortlessly conquer challenges while others struggle? Dive in and discover how the power of self-talk can transform your life beyond your wildest dreams! In this episode we learn that it's not merely about achieving outcomes but evolving into the person capable of sustaining success. Whether you're seeking to strike professional triumphs or personal peace, it starts with intentional living and reshaping your narrative. We will also dive into :

Self-awareness and Growth:The importance of acknowledging your habits, such as procrastination, and working towards becoming the person you aspire to be by understanding and addressing the root causes.

• Intentional Relationships: The need to building intentional and meaningful relationships with people who inspire and hold you accountable, aiding in personal and professional development.
• Self-talk and Personal Development: Focusing on the power of positive self-talk and how it impacts your daily life and decisions. Practicing self-talk is essential for breaking negative thought patterns and achieving goals.
• Overcoming Fear and Self-sabotage: Strategies for overcoming self-sabotage and fear by having a supportive network and adopting a mindset that challenges and shifts limiting beliefs.
• The "Become" Philosophy: The importance of becoming the person needed to reach desired outcomes, rather than solely focusing on the end result. Success is about evolving into a better version of oneself to maintain and grow beyond achievements.

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