Sex With Dr. Jess

The Sex Spreadsheet: Your Ultimate Conversation Guide


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This week, Jess & Brandon are sharing tips and tools from some of the happy couples they've met over the past month. Tune in to find out about sex spreadsheets & boobs-around-the-world.
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The Sex Spreadsheet: Your Ultimate Conversation Guide
TL;DR - The Sex Spreadsheet
Dr. Jess & Brandon share sex-positive tips inspired by happy couples they’ve met, including the now-famous Sex Spreadsheet.
The Sex Spreadsheet is a customizable, six-point scale tool for mapping sexual desires, boundaries, and fantasies with care and consent.
Why it works:
Encourages honest, pressure-free communication.
Uses a colour-coded scale from “No Way” to “I Might Come.”
Includes space for context, boundaries, and specific requests.
Key categories: Kissing, Pleasure Zones, Positions, BDSM, Fantasy, Fetish.
Step-by-step instructions provided for solo and partner use.
Product suggestions for enhanced exploration:
Mini Wand for targeted stimulation.
We-Vibe Nova for rumbly dual pleasure (save with code DRJESSVIP).
Suggested reads:
Guide to G‑Spots & Squirting
38 Sex Questions Answered
Don’t forget to subscribe to the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast & newsletter for more sex-ed tools and savings.
What Is the Sex Spreadsheet?
The Sex Spreadsheet is a comprehensive, personalized tool designed to spark open, nonjudgmental conversations about desires, boundaries, and fantasies. Originating from one of my retreats, a participant created a real-life “yes/no/maybe” matrix. It helped their partner map out preferences (from soft kissing to adventurous role‑play) so they could explore new experiences with clarity and consent.
Why It Works
Intentional Communication: A genuine preface invites each partner to focus on their own fulfillment—no pressure to please, only space for honesty.
Six‑Point Scale: Ranging from No Way (red) to I Love It, I Might Come (dark green), this nuanced approach captures everything in between.
Comments for Context: The free‑text column encourages vulnerability, questions, or notes—like, “I only want anal play when I ask and we have plenty of foreplay.”
How to Use the Sex Spreadsheet
Download your blank template - CLICK HERE.
Fill out your tab in private, using the six-color scale.
Swap tabs with your partner, then compare results together.
Discuss any red flags or exciting greens in a calm, curious conversation.
Key Sections Covered
Kissing: From gentle French kisses to light lip‑biting.
Pleasure Zones: Clitoral stimulation, breast play, and erogenous zones in intimate detail.
Positions & Play: Classic missionary, cowgirl, BDSM elements, and more.
Fantasy & Fetish: Role‑play scenarios, threesomes, voyeurism, and exhibitionism.
Boost Your Exploration
Looking to elevate solo or partner play? The Mini Wand is compact yet powerful—perfect for pinpoint clitoral massage during your spreadsheet session. For broader sensations, try the We-Vibe Nova, that promises deeper, rumbly vibrations.
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Sex With Dr. JessBy Dr. Jess O'Reilly

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