The Shrieking Shack

Chamber of Secrets film & video games. We watched all three hours of the movie to let you know: Lockhart is still the best thing in this story! We discuss Hagrid's pickup scenes, 2002's CGI creature rankings, tiny swords, and way too many peas.

Chamber of Secrets chapters 17-18. We've done it! Our second book comes to a close, but we have lots to discuss, including: anagrams, phoenixes, and Harry's continued cluelessness until the bitter end. After our own plot discussion, we visit Pottermore's officially selected Book Club questions in an attempt to figure out what the hell is in the water there.

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Chamber of Secrets chapters 15-16. It's nearly over, but our suffering isn't quite through yet. Harry meets a giant spider in a pointless chapter and then "solves" the mystery that Hermione worked so hard to investigate, and Ginny walked in on Percy cranking it or something. It's all a mess, but fear not: the Shrieking Shack is here to fix Hogwarts by designing an all-new house to replace Slytherin! Slurp??

Chamber of Secrets chapters 13-14. It's been a slow news week for Potter, so what better time to belt out some show tunes? We explore the wide and extremely cursed world of Harry Potter song parodies, talk about the cultural significance of This Is War, and explore songfics, which are like fanfics but perhaps even more potent. Then some crap happened in the actual book I guess.

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Chamber of Secrets chapters 11-12. Harry finally does something and it's... whining that he's not racist! There's so much to cover in these chapters, but mostly we scream about Dumbledore's bird advice and Draco's intense suckitude. After that: Liz has said Pottermore is her favorite website, but is she a real fan!?

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Chamber of Secrets chapters 9-10. Dim the house lights and settle in for a hearty discussion of JKR's royal wedding antics and Hogwarts Mystery's royal screwup. Speaking of mysteries at Hogwarts, that whole Chamber of Secrets thing sure is getting weird, huh? We hope Harry like, does something, at some point. Like, anything.

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Chamber of Secrets chapters 7-8. This week we talk about our dream houses and a Hogwarts for horses before discussing our reading. Quidditch is explained to us AGAIN, Ron is woke, and Harry is living in a Deus Ex game. Is this the end of CoS positivity? Has the basilisk finally turned?

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Chamber of Secrets chapters 5-6. We have a mystery guest this week... and we still love Lockhart, but there's much more to discuss: flying cars, Hermione's role as a character, mean teachers, and graphology! Oh, and character heights. A lot of really, really specific stuff about character heights.

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Chamber of Secrets chapters 3-4. We take a moment of silence to remember the fictional characters lost 20 years ago in a battle that didn't actually happen before discussing two chapters we actually really liked! Don't worry though, after all the positive feelings are out of the way we put on our thinking caps to design the "ultimate" Harry Potter video game.

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Chamber of Secrets chapters 1 & 2. We've arrived! But before we indulge in our favorite house-elf, we have some housekeeping to do - namely, chatting about Hogwarts Mystery and the US premiere of Cursed Child. After we walk through the opening of the second book, we tackle our toughest assignment yet: answering random questions about Dobby from Reddit.