The Struggles Podcast

Entrepreneurship is also about being creative, disruptive, and innovative. No dream is too big, and no idea is too crazy. That’s because as problem solvers, entrepreneurs focus on making an impact and changing the lives of people around them for the better.

This week, Sean and James share progress about their new achievements and wins. Yet, despite their victories, whether big or small, both find doubts and worry about doing things correctly. 

The two tackle topics surrounding their personal purpose, how stories affect people’s lives, and the differences between coaches, advisers, and mentors. Tune in to discover why they called the show Start-up Struggles! 

• The ability to strategize and plan ahead requires an entrepreneurial mindset. Even if you don’t own a business, looking at your life like a start-up. Think of it as something that requires careful planning to help you move forward.
• Like your core values, understanding your purpose will help you and serve as your compass whenever you have doubts and feel lost. 
• When thinking about the impact you make, don’t focus on how much growth you’re making. Treat it like a marathon, focus on milestones, celebrate small wins, listen to feedback, and keep on improving. 

On the book, The Start-up of You

James [00:01:38] We have to think of our lives as a startup. We think of it like we're a company, right? We have to have our own vision, our own goals. And we have to be relentless when thinking about things that we are personally going after, and it doesn't just have to be for work. I think that the big takeaway from that book was when you start to shift your mind and think about yourself as a company, as a startup, it's much more exciting.

Stay on Track with a Clear Vision and Purpose

James [00:05:44]: I was thinking about how this applies the same way to my life because I didn't have a very clear goal or vision for what my life path was. It became very hard to do specific things or to take action on things because I was turned around in all directions. If you don't have a clear direction, It's like having, a broken rudder on a boat, you just ship around and sail around wherever. With no idea of where you're going, sooner or later, you're just going in circles.

Why Having Absolute Freedom can be Detrimental

James [00:21:44] I love the idea of stories. I think stories are extremely important, and I think the reason we struggle with this is that even movies, 90% of the content is, at the moment where they're the hero. And they're making an impact and changing the world and saving whatever, killing the villain. 10% is the backstory. It’s what they went through, and it's like a quick think. It is just fast-forward to today.

Always Start with Solving Your Own Problem

Sean [00:32:29] There's nothing wrong with starting with yourself because that's where most people, most startups, and entrepreneurs start. They start with a personal problem, This is the personal pain point for me. This is why I'm doing this. We're coming full circle to the beginning of this conversation. I love it because there's nothing wrong with focusing on yourself and that audience of you. Because frankly, in some ways, you are unique. But in many ways we are not unique, right? Your problems are not unique. Like there's somebody out there who has very similar problems as you, who's going through various similar stages in their life.

The Start-up of You: Adapt to the Future, Invest in Yourself, and Transform Your Career

Traction: How Any Startup Can Achieve Explosive Customer Growth

Entrepreneurs enjoy freedom, especially when it comes to how they spend their time. With that freedom comes responsibility. Every so often, they are also pressured to maximize what they can accomplish in a day. In what way does intentionality and understanding your core value play in enjoying the freedom of owning your time?

In this episode, Sean and James discuss how startup owners can be more intentional about their next steps. Discover how entrepreneurs can use their core values to guide their decisions. 

• Startups have the freedom to manage their time. With no one to dictate what they should do next, they must also use their freedom wisely.
• The responsibility can feel a bit overwhelming at times as if it were an obligation, and as a startup owner, you are powerless to escape it. 
• When this happens, going back to your core values can help you understand why you decided to become an entrepreneur. 
• This will help reframe your mind and guide you to making intentional decisions. Ones that will help you get to your goals closer. 

Core Values as a Guiding Light in the Seasons of your life

James [00:04:53] It feels that there are seasons, and your life goes through seasons. And I’ve heard about this before from some motivational speakers who talked about this. They say that you have seasons in life where things are going very, very well. And there are times when things are not going so well. It feels like that core value could align with the seasons of your life.

Freedom Means Living with Responsibilities

James [00:08:15]: I think the difference between having a choice—it’s also this idea about responsibility, right? Because if you live your life thinking that you can do whatever the hell you want to do, at some point, I don't think that's a very responsible way to live. Because that means that if you have no responsibilities, you have all the choices. But you have to live with some responsibilities, and that's what defines how you pursue your journey.

Why Having Absolute Freedom can be Detrimental

Sean [00:11:31] Having absolute freedom is detrimental as well. And we know that because there are many times when you have too many choices, the paralysis of choice, right?

That leads to indecisiveness and things like that. So, not having parameters, not having some kind of boundary to your choices is also not ideal.

How can Core Values Reframe Your Mindset on Responsibilities?

James [00:14:15] Core values could not only give you a direction, but it's also a direction that you choose on days when it feels difficult. It can be a reminder to reframe your mind. To remind yourself that these choices, maybe this day, it feels like an obligation to have to do certain things. And responsibility is somewhat is not a negative thing. It's a very positive thing. I get to do these responsibilities because I chose that these aligned with my values, and this is a direction that I've been wanting to head.

Being Intentional Gives You More Freedom

Sean [00:31:24] Maybe that's the solution that intentionality sets you free because it gives you permission to be doing what you're doing. And I think for people like us, where we have a lot too much flexibility and freedom, it's because nobody needs to give us permission. It's like, we need to give ourselves permission.

How do you keep track of priorities? Get help from an external force. Find an accountability partner, mentor, or coach. Having people who will hold you accountable and monitor your progress will certainly help you to stay focused.

In this episode, Sean and James encourage listeners to learn how to appreciate and be grateful for everything, even the unpleasant things in life. When you do this, you set an offensive attitude towards life — attacking your goals one step at a time.

• Be gracious to yourself. While you have priorities in key areas of your life, learn to appreciate when you’ve tackled, even just one. Be proud of your wins, even if these are small ones.
• Use your core values as an anchor in weighing things that you should focus on instead of the things that you just want to do. 
• When listing goals down, create broad tactics. Under it, list simple steps to take to be able to achieve it.
• Stay focused and on track by recruiting the help of a partner, coach, or mentor to keep you accountable and track your progress. 
• Be grateful, even for failures. Look at it as lessons learned and stepping stones to get closer to your goals. 

How can you have one priority when you have several goals for different aspects of your life?

James [00:04:13] Maybe what this professor was talking about in your Berkeley class was, by setting one priority, as long as you did that one thing. Yes, there is a secondary list of things that you can take care of. But as long as you attack the day and get that one thing done, then it's a win, and you should be proud that you're able to do that.

How can you track your progress and be accountable for the goals you set?

Sean [00:21:01]: I think that element of just having accountability buddies, or partners, is huge. I still have them to this day. That's why I think mentors and coaches exist. Right? You're actually paying someone to keep you accountable for things. I think that's the beauty of having a business partner, like Survy, we keep each other accountable on different tasks. Again, not because we're incompetent, but because frankly, life is busy.

Thoughts on having an offensive mindset towards your goals

James [00:27:15] When I think about authenticity, I think that it's about taking action, taking steps, going towards your goal. It's like attacking your goals. Right. And so, I thought one way that you could practice gratefulness is by breaking down what's the one thing that you can do today that brings you closer to a goal that you set for yourself. Then once you actually take that action and take that step, then you can break down what are the things that you were able to do to take that one single step? Right?

Why is feedback more important for startups than results? 

Sean [00:29:30] As a startup, we are after testing the hypothesis. That is our job as a startup, especially in the earliest stages. A false response is still a response. This is not the thing that we expected, right? When we're testing a hypothesis, the important thing is to do the actions and get responses. It's not to expect everything that we're going to test is going to pan out to be true or is going to work out in our favor.

Thoughts on the fallacy of retirement:

Sean [00:36:40] I don't think humans are designed to just work and then not work. And what I mean by work is contribute their time to something, to society, and then stop contributing. I think contribution, as we mentioned, is one of the core human needs. There is actually a very strong impetus for humans to want to contribute. And you can only contribute if you're continuing to learn.

Busting the Retirement Lies: Living with Passion, Purpose, and Abundance Throughout Our Lives (Busting the Money Myths Book)

Being a leader means bringing out the best in others. In a startup environment, making the most of every opportunity is crucial. Leadership is all about getting the most out of people. Leaders enable others to achieve their full potential. Even if this means moving people around or giving up your role to move up to a position where you can do better. 

The movement in the team often creates hesitation and a feeling of being replaced. It gives them the impression that their work is not valued. As a result, they become defensive. By creating a safe environment where people can let go and trust each other, the team will maximize everyone's talents and special skills.

• Move people around where they can be the best they can be. If someone shines better in another team or department, encourage them to move. This allows them to enjoy their work and give their best effort.
• Don’t be afraid to let go. Normalize the culture of learning to let go and move to a different role and responsibility. As you do so, make sure your team feels secure about their job and let them know the company values them. 
• Protip: Help your team maximize potential by letting them find their work rhythm. Some people find doing creative work in the afternoon or evening suits them better. While some find that writing or communications-related tasks are best done in the morning.  

How do you create a collaborative culture, one that encourages and gets the team onboard?

Sean [00:12:54] Many business owners are afraid to be replaceable because they think, “Oh, someone's going to steal my business. If they have that kind of motivation, go ahead. But if you treat people well, they're not going to steal your business. If they can move up your organization, they would rather collaborate and work with you. I want people to move up because I'd rather have people become business partners on the next venture because I'm helping them. And, they want to work with me because they find value in it.

Thoughts on applying the five-second rule everytime you hesitate:

James [00:19:12]: She's talked about the way to actually beat hesitation, it’s this five-second rule. By counting down from five seconds actually triggers a different part of you, and it makes you go into action. I was like, “Oh, that makes a lot of sense when you want to let go of something”. If you want to break the chain of negative thoughts or something, you can just count down from five. Last week, you also said that negative thoughts don't stay with us for a long time. You said there's like scientific proof behind this. And I was thinking, if that's true, that means there has to be kind of a way to get past that even faster.

Tip on organizing your day-to-day schedule:

Sean [00:28:31] Well, when your energy is actually low, you're actually supposed to do creative because then your brain is not hyperactive. And thinking about a million things and juggling, it's actually the best time because you have a blank slate in your brain to do creative work.

• The Five-Second Rule by Mel Robbins
• Loving What Is by Byron Katie

As an entrepreneur, practically everything you do is fraught with uncertainty and risk. It might sound cliché, but life as an entrepreneur is really like a roller coaster. On days like these, it’s hard to move up, or even move forward. Then, there are times when you plateau, and it’s difficult to see off from the plane. As entrepreneurs, days like these are especially tough. As leaders, we’re expected to motivate ourselves and get our energy back. 

In this episode, Sean and James discuss how leaders can get their motivation and drive back. From giving yourself a deadline to explore ideas to reaching out to people in your circle, and evaluating your core values. Listen and learn about focusing, meditating, and how to let go of the struggles affecting your drive and motivation.

• The ups and downs, especially the low days, are all part of the entrepreneurial journey. Learning how to let go and let life take its course will help you focus on crucial tasks.    
• Setting deadlines for exploring ideas will help you decide whether to move forward or put a halt to a project.
• When you’re feeling especially low, reaching out to key people in your life will help ease the burdens. Talking about your struggles with people you trust will help improve your well-being.
• Evaluating your core values and meditating will help reset your perspective.

How can setting deadlines for yourself help you weigh decisions?

Sean [00:04:38] I've given myself a 12-month runway to just experiment with this business, with Alumni FM. I gave myself a six-month runway to experiment with Clever. So, just setting that deadline, I think, pushed me forward. But, also gave me some grace, and say like, “Hey, I'm giving myself permission to explore for X amount of time”.

Thoughts on learning to let go

James [00:07:58]: So the way that I've been beginning to think about it now, is that these emotions, they are current, and you can either let the current go by you. You can let it take you, or you can swim out of it. So, now, for me, I've been trying to just go about my day, do my normal routine and get past this.

How do you keep yourself focused when there are too many things happening around you?

James [00:23:42] I think that's why a lot of people can't stay focused because every single time something gets their attention, they immediately direct their focus towards it. I think emotions are very similar, that it is just a thought. And actually letting go of a thought, letting go of emotion, I almost consider it to be like being in a river, and you're watching these leaves and these sticks. It's like going past you. Every once in a while, someone will bump into you. If you want to, you can pick it up and let it take your focus. Or, you can let it go swim right by you.

• Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
• EOSⓇ Vision/Traction Organizer™ (V/TO™)

It seems natural to humans to thrive in stressful situations as if they were necessary, so we can also experience the opposite end of that spectrum. Just like the wheel, starting a business brings ups and downs, which fuel the desire to keep moving forward.

Entrepreneurship is a roller coaster ride of trying something new. No matter how small the wins are, starting out on this journey will cause you to doubt your abilities. It's usually because you don't have feedback. It feels like you're running after something that has no purpose. Join Sean and James as they talk about the ups and download of starting up and dealing with the lack of feedback.

• Humans sometimes deliberately stress about something as a way to experience life's ups and downs. Struggles seem natural to humans. Learning and progressing from challenge to challenge is essential after overcoming the current one.
• Asking for feedback is important. It helps you re-calibrate, remind yourself of your purpose, and monitor your progress toward your goal.

Why do humans gravitate towards stress and struggles?

[05:54:00] As humans, we naturally need to have some type of stress in our life in order to experience the opposite end of that spectrum, which is not being stressed out. Which is enjoying something. Or, if you can even call it happiness, you need the opposite end. You need the ups and downs of life to be able to feel both the ups and the downs.

Thoughts on purposely stressing about something as a form of distraction

[00:07:55] James: Difficulties will always be there. So, your body naturally is going to stress out about some type of difficulty. Something that is going to bother you or challenge you or make you upset, and you’re going to have energy that goes in that direction. If you can expand your challenge or the things that you're learning, or the things that you want to, be curious about, or investigate, that expands the difficulties struggles to that level. And the smaller things tend to disappear.

Thoughts on Procrastination and Moving Forward

[00:15:13] Sean: Sometimes procrastination is good, right? When something feels too monumental emotionally, the task at hand is to get over it. You have to break it down into smaller chunks and if you've chunked it, and you still find yourself procrastinating, then that just means you haven't broken it down small enough to take action.

Startup founders often get lost in the frenzy of all the work they have to do, and amidst all the busyness and grind. Yet, looking back is just as important as looking forward. Sean talks about how important it is to take note of your current struggles, process them, and come back to them later. Entrepreneurs can learn from the mistakes they made and the things they did right.

Losing your way isn't limited to not having time to reflect. You can also use it to mean deviating from the problem you set out to solve, all for pleasing others. In this episode, Sean and James discuss how to balance taking feedback in order to better your work and not lose sight of your purpose. 

• It’s important to record your struggles. Remembering these past challenges will help you apply what you learned here to new obstacles you’ll face. 
• Aiming to be likable limits your potential. There's a balance between accepting feedback for improvement and doing everything, even sacrificing your purpose, just to please people.

Why is it important to recap your past?

[00:03:17] It's also been very therapeutic to think about the difficulties and struggles I've had last week. And it might be weird to try to recap about that. Why was the last example hard? At the same time, talking about that to you has really made me think about it in a much different mindset. In a very different way, “Okay, how can we overcome this? What are the things that we learned?” What can we learn this one week, and how do you apply it to the next one? And how do I become better as I pursue this craft of podcasting?

Thoughts on How Startups Find the Time to Reflect

[00:12:53] Sean: For all my busyness— the challenge, the struggle. This is actually a real struggle, having enough time to think, synthesize, and make sense of what's going on in my life. And I think you can also see it as a blessing that you have that space to synthesize.

Why isn’t it healthy to pursue a life of wanting to please everyone

[00:15:24] And if you are pursuing a life of wanting others to like you or to recognize you, then you're not going to be free. Even if your world is ten people and all ten people like you, all of a sudden, if you do something different and one of them doesn't like you, you have to change your entire life to get that one other person to like you.

• Clever FM, a podcast listening app. Download from your iTunes and Google Play Store
• Tim Ferris Show
• The Enneagram Personality test

Even when you understand your purpose, it's still hard to stay motivated — to be productive and active. We often equate progress and productivity with activity, which makes enjoying the whole entrepreneurial journey difficult. As with everyone else, a founder has to live his or her own life. In a world driven by output, many entrepreneurs feel guilty for letting life happen. Many people forget how being part of a family, spending time with friends, and doing things they love, help them to be more effective and efficient. In today’s episode, we tackle a different perspective on productivity. Sean and James discuss how to appreciate the slow days, enjoy the lack of activity, and value the learning time.

• Slow days when founders have to deal with life and enjoy time spent doing non-work-related things are also productive. Taking some time off doesn’t mean you’re neglecting the business. 
• Time spent on thinking, recalibrating isn’t a lack of progress. We often think of output as a sign of productivity, but doing thinking work is just as important.

The Importance of Taking Time Off

[00:07:14] I feel like most CEOs and founders that I talk to are frazzled out of their minds. Or working a hundred percent of their time. Taking time off, like what? Five days to really take time to spend with family. Go up, celebrate. I think we often forget that we have to celebrate the stuff.

Taking Responsibility for Your Actions

[00:08:51] I mean, your company hasn't caught up in flames and dying in those couple of weeks, right? I wouldn't say that you're going into this place of not replying to any single email. You're not completely ditching your day-to-day responsibilities of being a CEO, being a founder, being a father, husband, and being a friend. You have all these lists of things that you're probably already doing. You might be saying, “I'm not productive in this last few weeks or a couple of months”, compared to your peak, the most productive time of your life when the company is just getting started and things are super exciting. 

Like the Stages of Grief, There are Stages of Acceptance Too

[00:13:34] I think it's something that’s very hard to grasp because of this concept about how everything is tied to the output. If we're only chasing that, and if we're tying any sort of meaning to life with outputs, then this goes into not ever being present for the moments that lead to the outcome. And if you're not enjoying this, at some point we are not enjoying the conversation that we're having, we should stop. Even if there are millions of listeners, it wouldn't matter at that point.

Struggling is akin to climbing a mountain. You start strong and motivated. As soon as you reach the top, you realize going back down is just as hard. Once you reach the top, you assume that going down will be easier. That's not the case. In this episode, Sean and Andrew discuss how summits in entrepreneurship are as much a part of our struggles as our successes. A reminder that these peaks are not the end, but just the first step toward higher peaks.

Listen as they discuss what it takes to cope with life's daily struggles — from recognizing that it's going to be persistently part of your life to considering what kinds of challenges you're willing to take on. 

• Struggles are persistent. It’s not going to stop, even though you reach summits in your entrepreneurial journey.
• To deal with struggles, you have to go through awareness to acceptance. Awareness that it will always be part of your life, and finally accepting the kind of struggles you’re willing to put up with.
• Struggles are not necessarily bad, it’s the stepping stone to get to better places.

The Importance of Accepting Your Struggles

[00:05:56] It seemed to me how you accept what's going on in your life and accept the struggles if you know that it's always going to be there, the struggle evolves with you as you evolve. It’s just about trying to accept that it's going to happen, and then how you deal with it, and what kind of struggles you're willing to put up with.

Taking Responsibility for Your Actions

[00:24:06] Of course, everything that I decided to do is my own decision. It's one thing to understand that, but it's completely different from actually accepting it. Because I think once you accept that decisions are yours, then there is a really hard truth that you alone are responsible for where you are in your life. 

Like the Stages of Grief, There are Stages of Acceptance Too

[00:25:42] Life doesn't work that way and our minds do not work that way. Once we even accept something, it's not like all of a sudden things become easier. It's not that, “Oh, I've accepted that. You go through like the grief thing. Even though you accept that something bad has happened, and you struggle with it. Just because you accept it doesn't mean that the grief goes away. It's just a different level of understanding.

• Mark Manson Author Profile
• Mark Manson’s Books
• Entrepreneurial Operating System: Free Tools

The story of struggle is universal. In fact, even President Franklin D. Roosevelt remarked that obstacles make for a better character. He once said, “A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor”. James Park, Experience and Marketing Lead at Coder School, talks about finding happiness and how to deal with things that are outside your control. He shares his take on finding the right perspective, making your choices, and dealing with anger. 

Listen to him as he shares what he learned from reading The Courage to be Disliked, an inspiring read that encourages readers to develop the courage to change and to overcome limitations.

• It’s not about getting to a point where there’s no struggle. You’ll always encounter hardships, regardless of where you are in life. It’s about changing your perspective about how you see these struggles.
• The entrepreneurship journey is a paradox of things that happen that are out of your control and choosing what happens next. This means choosing to improve, changing your techniques, and how you do things.

Understanding that Struggle is a Part of Life

[00:02:37] "No matter where you are in life, there's going to be pain and struggles. And, I've been slowly piecing that together over the years. That it's not about getting to a place where there is no struggle. There is no pain. Life is not going to let that happen. It's normal to think that the struggle and pain, no matter where you are in your life — whether you're the top 1% in the world, having all the money, or like all the way on the other spectrum, pain and struggle are always going to be there."

Thoughts on Accepting responsibility for Your Choices

[00:07:24] "I really think that you have to understand that the choice is yours. And I think then we run into, like a paradox of choice —of having so many choices and then being indecisive because of that reason. But all that aside, all the other self-help, improvement, the techniques, morning rituals, how you wake up, or what you eat. Like all that aside, I think once you accept the concept, that the decision is mine, your viewpoint for everything changes."

On Treating Anger Like a Tool that You Can Choose to Use Or Not

[00:13:19] "And once you realize it's like that, emotions or feelings are something that you can pull out, it becomes very different. Then you have a second to almost decide whether or not you want to act out on your anger. And maybe you decide to just say, this person needs to hear that they're being an asshole for stealing your parking spot. You know, but that's a decision. You can decide to do that. So, without your tool of being angry, just so you can voice your negative opinion about this person because you want to tell them if they screwed up."

• The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
• James Park on LinkedIn