Before You Kill Yourself: a suicide prevention podcast.

The Thought That Saved Me


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In this episode, I explore Norman Rush’s Mating, focusing on the chapter “Guilty Repose” and the section “Weep for Me.” Through the narrator’s encounter with the waterfall, I unpack themes of noise, solitude, mediocrity, and companionship — connecting her revelations to my own experiences with silence, striving, and the human need for connection.

Discussion Highlights:

  • How “the roar penetrates you” mirrors our craving for sensory overwhelm — music, crowds, even chaos — to quiet the mind’s constant chatter.
  • The painful beauty of solitude eroding, and what it means to reconnect with ourselves after long avoidance.
  • The “Weep for Me” moment as an honest confrontation with buried sadness, surfacing only when the world finally goes quiet.
  • The narrator’s fear of mediocrity and how society equates “average” with “unacceptable,” fueling endless striving.
  • The final revelation — “If you had a companion you would stay where you are” — as a call to seek steadiness, humility, and shared presence over transcendence.


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Before You Kill Yourself: a suicide prevention podcast.By Leo Flowers

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