Although certain types of retroactive jealousy are surprisingly common, the overwhelming majority of the global population has never encountered the term “retroactive jealousy.”

Someone at a party asks what I’m working on, and I’m consistently met with a confused “Huh?” when I bring it up. There might be three different types of retroactive jealousy, but most people haven’t heard of any of them.

Even those of us who become familiar with the term “retroactive jealousy” are often unclear about exactly what it means, or what it’s referring to.

It’s a broad term, and it can mean many different things. Thus, I wanted to put together an article/video outlining the three main types of retroactive jealousy, as I see them.

The Three Types of Retroactive Jealousy

(Video transcript below)

If you’re currently struggling with any of the below types of retroactive jealousy, this article will help you determine where you fit on the retroactive jealousy “scale,”. Offer a bit of insight into what you can start doing to feel better.

It’s essential to also note that you may be experiencing two of these types of RJ at the same time.

It’s important for me to be clear that this is not some kind of medical, scientific definition. And this is certainly no substitute for a professional clinical diagnosis of any type.

I’ve simply arrived at these categorizations after going through thousands of emails from people detailing their experiences of retroactive jealousy. And as I see it, these experiences fit into three different, though closely related categories.

Type 1: Moderate Retroactive Jealousy

If they’re being honest with you, most people in intimate relationships will tell you that they don’t love thinking about their partner’s past relationships and/or sexual history. No shock there.

Falling in love and committing to someone can feel blissful. At times dark and painful acid trip for the brain. There is no more potent drug on the planet than the oxytocin our brain releases as we fall in love.

Thus, thinking about the person we love with someone else, in the past, present, or future, is unpleasant. Sometimes very unpleasant. Sometimes painful. Often, we want the person we love all to ourselves, past, present, and future.

If like many people around the world, you’re dealing with some kind of mild, you won’t care about your partner’s past a whole lot. Do some reading, talk to friends, and explore some new, liberating, non-possessive perspectives on love and relationships.

In the near future, you may even find that you’ve become more interested than put off by your partner’s past. Curious to learn about their past relationships in order to learn about their growth and development as a human being. This is the trajectory many people experience.

It’s also interesting to note that there are many people around the world in loving, intimate relationships who don’t experience this type of jealousy at all.

There is also persuasive biological evidence that suggests that humans are not as hard-wired for monogamy, and this type of jealousy, as we sometimes tell ourselves we are. But that’s another discussion altogether…

The bottom line is this: it’s not a huge deal if you don’t love the thought of your partner being intimate with another person, past, present, or future. The majority of the people in relationships on our planet feel similarly about their own partners. Learn to work their way through it without too much anguish or effort.

However, things get more complicated if the question of your partner’s values enters the picture, which brings us to…

Type 2: Values-Based Retroactive Jealousy

It’s perfectly understandable if you don’t love the thought ...