The Transatlantic Times

Joseph's reporting is on point this week, especially on the topic of Blue Origin; Ford wants you to drive clean, but smell dirty; The 2014 Audi Q7 does wonders for destroying historical monuments.

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An ice cream parlor in New York and Kraft Foods collaborated to make something no one asked for; Michael B. Jordan stuffs a turtle in a romantic Valentines Day getaway; Jackie Chan hates freedom.

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Nick Cannon physically can't stop having children; Can Big Weiner and Big Bun unite to bring about equilibrium?; A young Belgian must be eradicated before it's too late.

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A UK Health Minister breaks COVID Protocol in the most reasonable way possible; Drake Bell celebrates post-sentencing by visiting Disneyland and becoming a Mexican; Kim Jong Un betrays his country by losing weight; some British drummer wants nothing to do with the sex toy industry.

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Illegal pistachio peddling ring is cracked wide open; This school gave 10th grade boys the opportunity to "Build a B*tch"; A relationship goes awry - are Dippin' Dots to blame?

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Jeff Bezos is trending on Change.org; NBC is giving people explosive diarrhea; An Indian man has the second largest family in the world.

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Jeff Bezos big blue rocket-ship has a rather large shaft; Ohio man doo-doo's on Democrat's front yard in the name of Donald Trump; Roblox and Gucci have teamed up to attack the wallets of families everywhere.

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A tactical dildo infiltration goes awry; Florida man challenges reptile to the death; Get ready for Sam's Club's immersive sampling experiences; Evil woman steals $41,000 from kids with cancer.

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Don't cut the cheese, or you'll get the slammer; Prince Harry is a lying scumbag who DID ride bikes with his daddy; Early 00’s hip hop star, Aliaune Damala Badara Akon Thiam had his car stolen at a QuikTrip; North Korea only allows 15 hairstyles, a number far fewer than Nintendo's Mii-creator tool.

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Gwyneth Paltrow's "Smells Like My Vagina" is too hot to handle, causing a lawsuit; Joe Biden is back behind the wheel, baby; Bees extend their Proboscis's for your well bee-ing; Governor Kristi Noem hates the environment...and Native Americans.

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