The Uncommon Communicator

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“If we manage conflict constructively, we harness its energy for creativity and development – Kenneth Kaye

Today we discuss:

1.    Conflict management 

2.    Conflict resolution 

Management thru navigating at a personal level 

Resolution by helping others manage to a resolution

1.    Conflict Management 

I’m proposing the   SL2(i)M ApproachTM

Slow it down

Listen

Labels 

Mirrors 

This is using your best negotiation skills 

Slow it down

·      late night FM DJ voice

·      let the emotions calm 

·      separate, if necessary, but don’t avoid

o  If someone says “I’m good” after ethe separation and do not want to talk about it…They are NOT

Listen

·      Sometime people just need to be heard; they need to express it out loud

·      Use active listening techniques. 

·      Listen to listen, not to speak/

Labels 

·      Label the emotions, “it seems” “it feels like”

·      Use labels to make sure you are hearing them correctly 

Mirrors

·      Repeat the last word or idea back to them. This allows for greater detail of their thoughts.

·      Mirror their body language but also remain in an open stance, no crossed arms. 

2. Conflict resolution 

Top 5 keys to resolution:

1.Don't Ignore Conflict

2. Clarify What the Issue Is

3. Bring Involved Parties Together to Talk

4. Identify a Solution

5. Continue to Monitor and Follow Up on the Conflict

The moment of enlightenment from today

“If we manage conflict constructively, we harness its energy for creativity and development – Kenneth Kaye

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2 topics to discuss today

1.    Political correctness 

2.    Hate speech 

Political Correctness PC 

Political correctness (adjectivally: politically correct; commonly abbreviated PC) is a term used to describe language, policies, or measures that are intended to avoid offense or disadvantage to members of particular groups in society.[

Used in the 40’s and 50’s referring to debates between communist and socialist 

The term "politically correct" was used disparagingly, to refer to someone whose loyalty to the CP line overrode compassion, and led to bad politics. It was used by Socialists against Communists, and was meant to separate out Socialists who believed in egalitarian moral ideas from dogmatic Communists who would advocate and defend party positions regardless of their moral substance.

— "Uncommon Differences", The Lion and the Unicorn[3]

In May 1991, at a commencement ceremony for a graduating class of the University of Michigan, then U.S. President George H. W. Bush used the term in his speech: "The notion of political correctness has ignited controversy across the land. And although the movement arises from the laudable desire to sweep away the debris of racism and sexism and hatred, it replaces old prejudice with new ones. It declares certain topics off-limits, certain expression off-limits, even certain gestures off-limits

·      Started out as conservative criticism of the left and has played a major role in “culture war” between liberal and conservatives

·      ( James) Modern usage is to temper the words we use to not offend. 

Hate Speech 

"public speech that expresses hate or encourages violence towards a person or group based on something such as race, religion, sex, or sexual orientation".[1] Hate speech is "usually thought to include communications of animosity or disparagement of an individual or a group on account of a group characteristic such as race, colour, national origin, sex, disability, religion, or sexual orientation

Theories ( Or Frameworks) :

1.    The view that public discourse ought to serve as a marketplace of ideas. ( 19th century)

a.    Everything must be debated 

2.    Critiques of group defamation laws are not limited to defenders of individual rights. Defamation is too narrow a category to fully counter hate speech.

3.    a third framework for conceptualizing hate speech claims that speech can restructure social norms in violently subordinating ways Essentially, truth becomes truth because it is said to be true by a legitimate authority.

Research indicates that when people support censoring hate speech, they are motivated more by concerns about the effects the speech has on others than they are about its effects on themselves.

THE UC MOMENT : The moment of enlightenment from today

Free speech is still controversial today, know y

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The word has a bit of a unfair poor reputation. The uncommon communicators are here to enlighten the world to the true power and purpose behind the persuasive powerful communication.
Rhetoric is one of the three ancient arts of discourse called Trivium

Grammar – teaching the mechanics of language 

Logic – is the mechanics of thought and analysis

Rhetoric – It is the application of language in order to instruct and persuade the listener or reader.  It is the knowledge (grammar) now understood (logic) and being transmitted outwards as wisdom (rhetoric).

Aristotle taught that a speaker’s ability to persuade an audience is based on how well the speaker appeals to that audience in three different areas: logos, ethos, and pathos. Considered together, these appeals form what later rhetoricians have called the rhetorical triangle.

Logos (Logical) appeals to reason. Logos can also be thought of as the text of the argument, as well as how well a writer has argued his/her point.

Ethos (Ethical) appeals to the writer’s character. Ethos can also be thought of as the role of the writer in the argument, and how credible his/her argument is.

Pathos (passion) appeals to the emotions and the sympathetic imagination, as well as to beliefs and values. Pathos can also be thought of as the role of the audience in the argument. 

Following one of the other meanings of the word, Aristotle gave logos a different technical definition in the Rhetoric, using it as meaning argument from reason, one of the three modes of persuasion. The other two modes are

 pathos (πᾰ́θος, páthos), which refers to persuasion by means of emotional appeal, "putting the hearer into a certain frame of mind";[20] and 

ethos (ἦθος, êthos), persuasion through convincing listeners of one's "moral character".[20] According to Aristotle, logos relates to "the speech itself, in so far as it proves or seems to prove".[2

The rhetorical triangle is typically represented by an equilateral triangle, suggesting that logos, ethos, and pathos should be balanced within a text. However, which aspect(s) of the rhetorical triangle you favor in your writing depends on both the audience and the purpose of that writing. Yet, if you are in doubt, seek a balance among all three elements

What is the UC Moment (Uncommon Communicator moment) 

The moment of enlightenment from today 
Understand and know your Rhetoric Triangle.  Use your Ethos, Pathos and Logos 

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We all know that the bridged version of the first amendment is the freedom of speech what else dose it protect and what is the exact verbiage? In this episode we break down the Fist Amendment line by line word by word. It is always important to know your rights but its also important to know the consequences of your actions.
 
 The First Amendment (Amendment I) to the United States Constitution prevents the government from making laws which regulate an establishment of religion, or that would prohibit the free exercise of religion, or abridge the freedom of speech, the freedom of the press, the freedom of assembly, or the right to petition the government for redress of grievances. It was adopted on December 15, 1791, as one of the ten amendments that constitute the Bill of Rights. 

Our ability to have free speech is one of the unalienable rights of being American. 
We really dive into the freedoms and the constraints that come with it. 

The defamation law:

1. Liable is a defamatory statement that is written
2. Slander is a defamatory statement that is written

We dabble into rhetoric and propaganda
Propaganda is information, especially of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view.

Affect and effect are very clear principles in communication 

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See ya bye!!

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Starbucks has grown from a Seattle based Coffee shop to a world renowned coffee chain. It is also a little intimidating for those not in the know or hip with the lingo. However it is very possible for anyone and everyone to order and receive a drink that they desire. Guest staring Anna Hanrahan supports  the Uncommon Communicators to walk you through the sizes, a few simple drinks and maybe, just maybe after this episode you will have the basic foundation of knowledge to order at Starbucks. 
The UC Moment is " start with the size" because size matters 

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What do you, the uncommon communicators and The Washington State Department of Transportation have in common? Social Media, we all have it. What is the best advice that the uncommon communicators can give about social media? Listen in for the UC moment to find out.

If you really are interested in incredible pictures of food and dogs , follow James on james.gable.984 ...We were off by 1 in the show. misinformation IS a problem with social media!!

A quick search of social media best practices of social media and we found ourselves looking at the Washington State Department of Transportation. 8 pages as an employee guide to social media best practices. 

We talk about:
Official use
Professional use at work
Personal use of social media at or outside work

Things to remember:
A bad social media misstep can result in front page news or even loss of you job.
Don't be misled by the casualness of social media contacts
Be aware that perceptions created by "friends"
Be responsible conversational 

#beabundantlyselfaware - Brandon Thompson 

Be relevant and add value

We had to talk about Anthony Weiner , New York politician who found himself in the media spotlight after sending explicit photos through twitter. 

This show is NOT sponsored by HBO MAX but we are willing to discuss

Don't forget that you have you have first amendment right to free speech, however there are plenty of other laws and rules that keep you from infringing on other peoples right and social media seems to remove the inhibitions from some and really put yourself into a space that you didn't intend. 

Shout out to the #noBStribe and things that happen outside the gate 

Shout out to John Garret and "What's your And" &

Brandon shares a story where Twitter drove the WB to spend another 80 Million dollars to release a cut of Justice league.  A topic Brandon is very passionate about and that also made him extremely happy. 

The UC Moment Be abundantly aware. 

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The Brain Science fun continues! Joanna continues to dazzle the two of us with her wonderful insight into musical therapy and even a few questions about just music in general.

Joanna shares with us the the origins of her last name Ostrander 

Talking about neurological affects on the brain that affects the individuals ability to process. 

Joanna dives deep into the brain science talking about rhythm and the studies performers at CSU Colorado State University .  Wernicke’s aphasia and Broca's aphasia are some great learnings on how the affect brain can be healed through therapy. 

The brain continues to make new connections, new connections are made every time we have new experiences. 
Touching on the animal and reptile brains falls right in line with the our many discussions about Never Split the Difference. 

Mirrors are used in counseling called reflection. Using this in counseling they suggest using different but similar words. the goal is really to get clarification and a mutual understanding.  

Reflection is the tool to better understand. A bit of a cross between labeling and mirrors. 

In a turn  during the conversation, Joanna chooses Pickard over Kirk. All important debate topics on a podcast about Communication. 

Using mirrors are more affective on an assertive style of communicator and we get a clear example in our discussing. Mirrors are not as effective on someone who is a little more calm, so choose your tools wisely.  

The UC Moment : Use your tools like  mirrors wisely, they effect people in different ways. 

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Music and communication go together like Peanut Butter and jelly. So, what can two Uncommon Communicators learn from a Music therapist? Tune in and find out!

Joanna Ostrander is our guest. She is a true Uncommon Communicator. She started her career in music education and then turned to neural music therapy where she is doing amazing things Board Certified Music Therapist with experience with children and adults with Special Needs, Physical Impairment, Mental Illness, Substance Addiction, and Autism.

Graduating from the Denver school of the Arts with her High school diploma, Joanna went on to earn a Bachelor's degree in Music form MSU ( or MSCD)  also studying spanish, physics and mathematics. Moving on to Colorado State University, Joanna earned her Masters in Music, while again studying Music therapy, psychology and anatomy. Simply stated...She has some credentials.

Communication is in everything that Joanna does. We spend some time talking about how she is able to disarm and engage in conversation. Listening is the common theme for tools of communication.

In this episode we learn about Joanna, in part 2 we really dive into Brain Science. 



Communication is so integral to everything we do! 

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In this episode we have social media mogul Jesus ( Jesse) Hernandez!!! Jesse is the host of the Learnings and Missteps Podcast Click the link to see more :

https://www.learningsandmissteps.com/

Jesse brings his ripples of impact to the Uncommon Communicator. Bringing his unique style Jesse is the Uncommon Communicator sharing his moment of enlightenment at sharing tools of communication not just unique to the construction worker but for everyone.

"Control is an Illusion, at best I can influence things" - Jesse Hernandez

Sharing vulnerabilities that resulted from sharing his addictions have been powerful.

Learnings and Missteps main purpose is to enhance the image of the trades. Born out of the pandemic, Jesse dove into podcasting,

Jesse's best tool for communication is his two ears.
In true communication,  One has to convey a message, one has to receive
Vulnerability as a tool or as a requirement  requirement for listening ?

Vulnerability is a condition of communication - Jesse Hernandez

We learn about the triad. One person is the owner of the problem, another is the coach and the third person is only listening. We find that a lot of leaders don't have good listening skills because they feel they need to be preparing to have an answer. The Triad is a skill building technique.
 
If the learner hasn't learned, the teacher hasn't taught. - David Verbal 
 
We can change the world, one world at a time 
When we share our gifts and talents we can change the world 

Jesse the starfish 

Lean and Love. - A book launch is coming February 18th. 

Jesse's communication Misstep: Giving unsolicited advice. 
Quick learner but a faster forgetter

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Trouble with texting? Whell you ain't alone, even the Uncommon Communicators trip over a text every now and then. Tune in to hear one of the best blunders of Brandon's texting career, along with a few tips and tricks to take your texting game to tremendous heights.

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